God, how she wished she’d done things differently with him. She had let her own fear—her own vanity—outweigh the truth. Eli had a right to know Bob wasn’t his biological father, and he’d had a right to be told as much early in his life, so he could ponder it and settle it in his own mind. Sure, Eli would have been angry if they’d told him when he was twelve, the way Bob wanted. But it wouldn’t have been anything compared to the rage of a thirty-one-year-old man who was convinced his parents had betrayed him.
As Carole arrived at the end of the lane and parked near the wide front porch, she closed her eyes for an instant to say her usual prayer:
Please, God, help Eli take another step toward forgiveness today, and have mercy on me for all my mistakes. Amen.
She took the keys from the ignition and let her thoughts return to the one question she’d been mulling over during the whole drive from Cedar City. Why in the world had Eli decided to bring a client home to the ranch? Who was she? And why now? Carole didn’t pry into the details of her son’s life, but she knew he’d not been in a relationship since his breakup with Tamara eighteen months before.
When Eli first told Carole he’d be spending a year in California to find his dad, she nearly lost her mind with worry. What good could possibly come of this? What if his father didn’t want anything to do with Eli? What if his father was a scoundrel? A weak man? An evil man?
But if there was anything positive to come of his foolishness, Carole knew it was the boost it could give to Eli’s love life. After all, there were more eligible females in one block of San Francisco than in the entire five thousand square miles of Garfield County, Utah. True, Eli had often reminded her that his plan was to find his biological father, not a girlfriend, but still, she could hope.
Simply put, Carole was baffled. Who could have caught his eye, she wondered, and what kind of woman could make him cross that line between his business and his personal life? He’d never done it before, and his clients had included beautiful movie stars, recording artists, and even a model or two. The woman he was bringing home today had to be someone extraordinary.
Carole smiled as Sondra clomped down the porch steps to greet her. Her daughter’s short brown curls looked as wild as usual, and her sun-pink face just as cheerful. Sondra was the spitting image of her Bob—solid and freckled, and with the palest of blue eyes.
She looked nothing like her brother, of course. Even as young children, when Sondra and Eli sat side by side, it was obvious to everyone that Bob Gallagher was father to one but not the other.
Was I more concerned about myself than my child? How could I have been so selfish?
“Mom!” her daughter called out, arms outstretched. They pulled each other tight, and Carole was happy to feel Sondra’s warm welcome, even though it was cut short by the arrival of “the horde,” what she called Eli’s collection of eight stray dogs plus Sondra’s chocolate Lab. Carole pulled away from her daughter’s hug to look down at the group and laugh.
There were a couple of real cuties in the bunch. Gizmo, the regal shepherd mix, and the silly little terrier mutt were Carole’s favorites. The rest were ugly as the day was long, creatures only a dog whisperer could love. But every single one of them was perfectly behaved. Calm. Respectful. Friendly. Every time she visited she was greeted with the same vision—a pack of assorted dogs with their butts planted on the ground, their tails fanning the dirt, and their eyes filled with enthusiasm. Carole took a moment to pat each on the head in greeting.
“Do you know anything about this chick Eli is bringing home?” Sondra asked, suddenly frowning. “Did he tell you anything?”
“No. I was hoping you’d have details.”
“Me?” Sondra waved her away and opened the passenger side of the truck, pulling out the large insulated casserole carrier. “Are you kidding? Eli never tells me anything juicy. He avoids all talk of romance with me. I think he doesn’t want to stir anything up—he hates to hear me cry.” Sondra unzipped the carrier so she could sniff at dinner.
“Careful, that’s probably still warm.” Carole’s heart sank for her girl. It was a shame that a whole year had passed since Sondra’s divorce and she still couldn’t move on. As her mother, Carole would have given anything to see Sondra get back out there, going to a movie or grabbing an occasional dinner with a handsome young man. It didn’t have to be true love. It didn’t even have to be serious. She only wished Sondra could relax and have some fun.
But who was Carole to judge? Her own Bob had been loyal and true, and she’d been spared the kind of heartache Sondra had endured. How was a woman supposed to recover from that kind of thing, anyway? One day you think you have a sweet and loving husband and the next day you discover he’s a serial cheater with women lined up in several states. Carole knew it would take Sondra a long time to heal from that hurt, if she ever did.
Sondra lowered her nose close to the glass lid on the carne asada with green chiles. “God, that smells good, Mommy. I’ve been fantasizing about this all day.”
Carole smiled and placed a hand on Sondra’s back as they walked up the steps, across the pine-plank porch, and through the twelve-foot-high front doorway. The dogs followed them as far as the door, but didn’t cross the threshold without being invited.
“Eli and Madame X won’t be here for hours, so I’ll stick this in the fridge.” Sondra spoke over her shoulder as she headed into the large, open kitchen. “I can’t figure out why they decided to drive—twelve hours is quite a chunk of time to spend trapped in a truck with someone you hardly know.”
Carole had considered that, too. “Exactly how long has he known this girl?” she asked.
Sondra shrugged. “From what I understand, she’s a brand-new client. It’s the girl who begged him to go back to San Francisco on Monday, when he was already halfway home.”
“What in the world…?” Carole stopped and leaned her elbows on the large center island of Eli’s kitchen, trying to let that information sink in. “He’s known her for a matter of days and he’s bringing her
here
? That doesn’t sound like Eli.”
Sondra snickered, pouring both of them a glass of white wine. “Yeah. He’s not exactly the most spontaneous dude in the world, is he?”
“No,” Carole said without hesitation.
“I hope to hell Tamara never hears about this,” Sondra said, shaking her head.
Carole sighed. After waiting more than three years for Eli to commit, Tamara apparently gave up on him, leaving Eli and Utah for Seattle. The last she heard, Tamara was engaged, which is what she’d wanted all along. She’d been a fine girl, and Carole never really understood why their relationship had ended so suddenly. She and Sondra assumed that Tamara was simply sick of waiting.
“What in heaven’s name is that boy up to?” Carole wondered aloud.
Sondra laughed. “I asked him about that. I said, ‘Eli, you spend half your time hiding from fan-girls. Are you sure you want to bring a stranger to your home?’ ”
Carole popped upright. “And what did he say?”
“He said he’s got it under control.”
Carole nodded, admitting he probably did. Eli always seemed to have it under control. In fact, the only time she’d ever seen him lose his cool was when Bob died and he discovered those damn adoption papers. True, Eli’s whole career was showing other people how to remain calm, but she’d love to see him let his hair down once in a while.
“And …” Sondra sipped her wine and wiggled an eyebrow. “I asked Eli if I should make up the guest room.”
“You did not!”
“I sure did.”
“That’s pretty darn nosy of you.”
Sondra shrugged off her mother’s comment. “So did you have a nice drive?” she asked, walking into the living room and plopping onto one of the soft leather armchairs. “Is there still construction on I-15?”
Carole knew when she was being tortured. She played along, bringing her wine into the room to join her daughter. After a refreshing sip, she stretched out her legs and admired the high vaulted ceiling, then gazed out the west-facing wall of windows to the mountains. There would be a dramatic light show at sunset, like most evenings.
Carole stayed silent for as long as humanly possible, hoping she could contain her curiosity longer than Sondra could stand the silence. Eventually, she surrendered. “Well?
Are
you?” Carole asked.
“Am I what?” Sondra inquired, looking perfectly innocent.
Carole laughed. “Lord, but you are hard on your old mother. Are you making up the guest room or not?”
“Oh, that.” Sondra set her wine glass down and folded her hands in her lap. “Eli told me not to bother.”
Carole sat back into the deep chair, stunned. She stared at Sondra a moment.
“Oh, my God,”
she said.
Chapter 11
Roxie had been so riveted by Eli’s tale that she hadn’t moved, and the legs she’d tucked beneath her body hours before had fallen asleep. She shifted her weight in the front seat of the truck and stretched out, willing the blood to start circulating. Only then did she notice that the quality of the light had changed, leaving shadows on the endless dry and flat landscape around them.
“I’ve bored you to death,” Eli said, reaching for his bottle of water. “They should rename this area Bored to Death Valley.”
Roxanne chuckled, grabbing the bottle before Eli could, twisting off the cap for him. “Here you go.”
Eli looked sideways at her, the corners of his eyes wrinkling with a smile behind his dark aviator sunglasses. He nodded his thanks and held the bottle up, as if drinking in her honor.
Roxanne studied him for a slow, suspended moment as the afternoon light gilded his hair and skin. He was a beautiful man. There was no doubt about it. She considered how his strong jaw moved as he gulped, the up-and-down bobbing of his Adam’s apple, how starkly white the gauze bandages were against his tanned skin. She winced.
“Everything okay?” Eli asked.
Roxie shook her head. “No, Eli. I’m sick that Lilith did that to you. Does your arm hurt? Are the stitches itchy?”
Eli shrugged. “Not so bad. They’re the self-dissolving kind. I should be as good as new in a week or two.”
Roxie continued staring at the bandages, her heart sinking. “I sincerely apologize for my dog trying to eat you alive,” she said.
Eli laughed, then reached over to brush a section of wind-whipped hair from Roxie’s face. She felt herself lean into his touch. “And what about you, Roxie? You did pretty much the same thing, you know,” he said, letting his fingers trail down the side of her neck.
She nodded, figuring what he said was true. She remembered how pissed she’d been the day of the baby shower, when Eli followed her out to the paddock. She’d bitten the man’s head off. Obviously, she’d lashed out at him because she was embarrassed to be caught in a moment of self-pity. Plus it angered her that she continued to feel such an attraction to Eli when she’d been trying desperately to forget all about him. And clearly she’d still been stinging from his rejection all those months before. It seemed so simple now, so easy to put together. But a week ago, Roxanne couldn’t have admitted those things to herself if her life depended on it. A lot had changed since then, she realized.
“At least I didn’t sink my fangs into your forearm,” she said.
“True,” Eli said. “You went right for the jugular.”
Roxie scrunched up her face. “It wasn’t all that bad.”
Eli took another swig of water and returned the bottle to the cup holder. “Well, you told me you didn’t much care for cowboys. Then you told me I’d blown my one chance with you.”
“But that was before I knew about … everything,” she said.
Roxanne let her head fall against the seat back, staring straight ahead through the windshield at the flat ribbon of road. Eli had just spent the last few hours telling her about how he’d learned his father wasn’t really his father, how it had made him question everything he’d assumed about himself, his family. He’d told her how he’d come to California to find his real dad, and the string of disappointments he’d faced. He’d explained that he’d turned Roxie down because he didn’t want to start something he had no intention of finishing. But when he got her phone call asking for help with Lilith, he knew there would be no more denying his attraction for her.
“And now?” Eli asked, shooting her another smile. “How do you feel now? You gonna give this cowboy another chance, Miss Bloom?”
She sighed, mostly at her own foolishness. “That’s what this is,” she said, surprising herself with the candor of her answer. “When I asked for your help, I told myself it was about Lilith. But it was about you, too. You and me. There were probably a few other people who could have helped with my dog, but there was only one person I couldn’t get out of my head, and that was you.” She looked sideways at Eli, giving him a sheepish smile. “And here we are.”
Eli nodded gently. “I hope you never regret this decision.”
Roxanne laughed. “You and me both,” she said.
They drove for several moments without talking, but Roxanne knew, based on Eli’s story, that they had something in common—absentee fathers—and she wanted to see how forthcoming Eli would be on his end.
“Are you angry at your real dad, whoever he is?”
Eli shrugged, keeping his eye on the road. “All the anger was directed toward my mother and father. I couldn’t stop thinking how selfish they’d been, and how careless and stupid my mother had been when she was young. I came down really hard on her—you know, her lack of moral fiber and all that.”
Roxie laughed. “Oh, yeah. I knew all about moral fiber when I was in college.”
“Exactly.” Eli turned toward her briefly and shot her one of his dazzling smiles, then moved his attention back to the road ahead. “But I eventually talked it out with my mom, and I made a decision not to be angry at this man who’s my real father, whoever he is, because he doesn’t even know I exist. My mother left Berkeley without a word to anyone about her predicament.”
Roxie nodded. “But you were lucky to have Bob Gallagher as your dad.”
“Definitely.” Roxie watched a smile tug at the corner of Eli’s mouth. “He may not have donated any of his genes to me but he gave me everything else of himself. His time, his love, his support.” Eli quickly looked over the rim of his sunglasses to make eye contact with Roxie. “He taught me carpentry and ranching, and a respect for the natural world. But more than that, he taught me what being an honorable man looked like, every day of his life. Yeah, I was lucky.”