NOT What I Was Expecting (4 page)

“Man, why didn’t
Uncle B just knock on the door and see what was what?” Fry asked.  “I guess I
would have been upset if I saw Hoss and Little Joe in ma-lady’s kitchen.  I
mean, I would have been all ‘Hey dudes, where’s your Pa?’  You know I love that
show, but Ben Cartwright is my favorite.  I’ve got the DVD box set.  But why
didn’t he just knock and inquire if Pa Ben would be joining them later?”

“Fry, you do
realize the actors who played Ben, Hoss, and Little Joe are all dead, right?”
Great Voice Guy asked carefully.   By the slight gasp, I decided most likely
Fry had not, in fact, realized the Cartwrights were no longer with us.  Fry had
many talents, but logical thinking was not counted among them.

“Luke, uh, look
man, I’ll be right back.  I have something in my eye.  Damn ragweed,” Fry said
quietly, followed by shuffling footsteps.

Luke!  That’s who
the deep, sexy voice belongs to?  Stoner Luke from high school?  That’s right. 
Fry said something yesterday about Luke’s uncle.  I scanned my brain trying to
remember if Luke had that great voice in high school.  The fact that I couldn’t
remember convinced me he definitely did not.  Fortunately, Mother left for the
light fixtures a few minutes earlier and told me to join her when I was
finished eavesdropping.  Since I heard Fry move in the opposite direction, I
leaned toward the edge of the row to get a glimpse of former Stoner Luke who
had apparently transformed into Great Voice Guy.

Just as my head
was almost close enough to peer around the corner, BAM!  I felt as if a
rock-hard wall had slammed into me.  I was knocked on my keister and my A-line
skirt scrunched up, barely reaching the top of my legs.  I tried to
simultaneously blink away the lights that flashed behind my eyeballs, pull my
skirt back down to PG-13 length, and attempt to stand.  The degree of
difficulty for a triple coordination play like the one I just described takes
years of practice to pull off successfully.  I’m afraid I wasn’t having any
luck on this particular day, and I’ve had tons of practice.  Please don’t try
this at home.

I concentrated on
clearing my focus by staring at what I’d run into.  Turned out it was a rock
hard body instead of a wall.  It was making apologetic noises and extending a
hand to help me stand.  When I was able to zoom in on the face, I realized it
was the Luke-guy, a.k.a. Stoner Luke from high school.  What had Fry said about
him yesterday – that he had been in the Peace Corps?  The same incredibly smokin’
brown eyes that were regularly glazed over back in high school were now clear, focused,
and full of concern.  Top that off with the broad shoulders that filled out a
navy blue shirt tucked into form fitting khaki pants, and you have an idea of
the hunk (I mean guy) I was facing.

“I’m sorry!  My
mind must be somewhere else, because I didn’t see you until – are you okay?”
Luke wanted to know.

While my focus was
still swimming toward the light, I enjoyed the deep voice as two, no three sets
of those beautiful brown eyes towered above me.  Wow, one voice with three
heads – interesting.  At that moment Fry rounded the corner, apparently having
heard the body slam.

 “Maggie, are you
all right?  Come on.”  Fry took my arm that was not currently in Luke’s
possession.  “We’ve got you,” he assured me.

Once I was on my
feet, I tried to tell them I was fine but couldn’t think of any words – I mean NOTHING. 
As I stood there with my mouth slightly open but not yet having located any
verbal skills, Fry made the introductions.

“You remember
Maggie from high school, don’t you?” Fry asked and moved on without waiting for
an answer.  “She’s also one of my bosses.  Remember, I told you I was working
at that shop, right?” he asked Luke while staring at me, probably trying to
figure out what exactly was wrong with me.  “And Maggie, you probably don’t
recognize my bud here, but this is Luke.  I know.  I was floored when I saw him
too.  He cleans up pretty good, huh?”

All the time Fry
was talking he was watching me closely.  I got the impression he was trying to
figure out if I suffered brain damage from the collision.  I tried not to stare
at Luke.  He was so tall and gorgeous I didn’t think that was a reasonable
expectation.  I don’t like to set myself up for failure.  He had soft-looking
brown hair, tanned skin, and unbelievable bone structure.  All of his flaws
must be internal.

“Luke moved away
for a while, but now he’s back to look after his Uncle Barney,” Fry went on,
since I still had no response.  “Can you believe this is the same guy?” 

Even though Fry
had just said his name more than once, and I had been thinking about his name,
along with his voice in my mind, the only thing I could think to call him at
that moment was Great Voice Guy.  Since that obviously was not his name, I decided
to respond without addressing him at all.

“Seeing you is –
it’s good you – the seeing you is good,” I stammered.

Okay, now I wished
I hadn’t located any verbal skills if they were going to operate so lame.  To
make matters worse, he had mastered an easy, comfortable smile.

“Of course I
remember Maggie from high school,” Luke said, all charming and acting like
talking was easy.  “It’s so good to see you.  It’s been what, over 10 years,
and you look even better than you did in school.  What have you been up to
besides aging well?”

Oh no, a
question!  I tried to control my breathing, stop sweating, and look relaxed. 
Able to accomplish none of those, CeCe suddenly flashed into my mind, and I
knew God was hoping I’d learn a lesson for all the times I told her she was
ridiculous for being tongue-tied around Deputy Ben.  I should have been more
understanding.  I should have been more supportive.  We should have practiced
speaking normally when faced with an over-abundance of testosterone.  Why
didn’t I, even once, try to feel her pain and help her through the mind numbing
influx of hormones that plagued her (and now me)?  I was a little afraid to
open my mouth and experience a repeat performance of my earlier brain/tongue
attempt at cooperation.

“I’m a terrible
friend!” I blurted.

There, I did it. 
I opened my mouth, and a coherent sentence came out.  True, it made no sense in
the present circumstance or to the people to whom it was spoken.  However, I
considered it a personal triumph that I formed an actual sentence and not
gibberish.  Baby steps.

Luke looked at me
the way you would look at a baby who just gurgled sounds, thought they made
words and was waiting for someone to respond.  He gave me a slight smile that indicated
he was thinking
I wish I understood you, but it’s okay
.  He nodded his
head in an encouraging way.

“I hope I didn’t –
uh, hurt you when I ran into you,” Luke said carefully.

Abort!  Abort!  I
instructed myself to smile, say I was fine, and get out of there before I did
more conversing and managed to convince him I was mentally disabled.  Fry had
been on the floor gathering the contents of my purse that had flown wild and
free on impact. 

As he stood and
handed me my purse, I said very slowly (to keep the words in their proper
place), “I’m fine.  I have to go.”  I headed for the light fixtures to find my
mother as fast as my wobbly legs would carry me.

Before I made it
out of earshot, I heard Fry tell Luke, “I don’t know what to tell you, man.  A
woman of few words is not how
anyone
would ever describe Maggie.”

As I put some
distance between myself and the new improved Luke, I felt my breathing return
to normal.  Unfortunately, as my mind cleared and thought processes returned, I
became aware of the impression I had just made on him.  I also realized how
much that fact bothered me.

I, like CeCe, had
nobody in my life starring as the love interest.  I hadn’t even been attracted
to anyone for a while – until now.  After my pitiful display as a
conversationalist, I decided to convince myself that Luke probably wouldn’t be
as impressive as he looked once I got to know him.  Sure, he cleans up nice on
the outside, but that doesn’t mean there is
anything
going on inside.

When I located my
mother, I was relieved to see she had her light fixture already picked out and
was ready to take it, along with her faucet and shower head, to check out.  She
asked me what I thought of the light fixture she selected, and I told her it
was gorgeous, which it was.  Then she asked if I wanted to look at anything
else before we checked out.

 “No, no, no!” I
answered a little more quickly and forcefully than I intended.  I was anxious
to put some distance between myself and my humiliation aura.  “There is nothing
I need, and I really should be getting to the shop.”

“Of course,”
Mother said.  “Thanks so much for helping me pick out the new fixtures.  They’re
going to look so good in my bathroom once the renovations are complete.  I know
you’re busy, but you have such good taste.  I’m glad you helped me make my
selections.”

My mother smiled
as she thanked me for my help, so I smiled back knowing we do this every time
she makes a purchase and doesn’t take any of my suggestions.  She insisted that
she wouldn’t make the best decision without my input.   It used to aggravate me.
 I’ve come to realize that things go smoother if we shop, I share my opinions,
she buys what she came intending to buy, and I accept her thanks for my help.

“You’re welcome,
Mother.  You know I’m always available for you when you need me.  I think we
got some great stuff today.”  After she checked out and I helped load her
purchases into the car, she pulled out of the parking lot smiling and waving.

As I pointed my
car in the direction of the Big and Blessed Maternity Shop, I tried not to
think about the encounter with Luke and the sorry excuse for an impression I’d
just made.

CHAPTER 3

I parked in front
of the shop, and lectured myself on acting like a grown up when I entered.  My fear
was that I would spot CeCe and immediately start to whine about what an idiot I
had just made of myself.  If I thought about the embarrassment and how I’d
probably ruined any chance of getting to know this new Luke a little better,
there was even a chance some moisture would form in the corners of my eyes –
just as it did now when my thoughts drifted.

This is bullsh —
crap.  I tried to keep the potty mouth to a minimum (even in my head) since I
needed to be prepared for Swear Bear to appear and throw down at any time.

How could I be
this attracted to some former stoner I knew nothing about?  Why should I care
if he thinks I’m an idiot?  I shouldn’t.

When I opened the
door to enter the Big and Blessed shop, I stopped and stood in the doorway
while I stared at the half naked lady racing through the store.  Clad only in
her bra and a skirt, she was stopping at each rack, yanking a shirt off its
hanger, stuffing her arms in the sleeves, smoothing down the front, and then
ripping it off and tossing it behind her yelling, “yes”, then “no”, then again
with the “yes.”  All this time, CeCe was hovering behind her juggling the
discards in one hand and the affirmatives in the other, trying to keep up with
Tornado Lady.

“Could you please
close the door?  I’m feeling a draft.”

The request came
from Tornado Lady, but she never slowed down, stopped trying on tops, or even
looked toward the door when she asked.

“Oh sure.  Sorry.” 
I turned around to glance behind me as I entered and closed the door, hoping no
passerby was noticing the whirlwind of flesh flying around our shop.

“Um, there are dressing
rooms in the back if you would like to . . . ,” I started to suggest.

“No time.  Gotta
get back to work,” Tornado Lady responded.

As I glanced at
CeCe, I saw the
duh – ya think?
expression cross her face.  I realized that
she had probably already tried a similar suggestion.  I was about to offer to
relieve CeCe of either the
no
or the
yes
pile when Tornado Lady
changed direction and headed for the register.

“That’s it for
now,” Tornado Lady explained.  “How many tops do I have?  I’ll have to run back
in later for more skirts and slacks.”

Did she say more
skirts and slacks?  My eyebrows did the questioning thing in CeCe’s direction,
but she gave me the
don’t ask
slight shake of the head.

CeCe answered,
“That’s eleven tops.  I’ll add these to your eight skirts and six pants before
I run your American Express.”  CeCe was tallying and entering everything into
the register while I started folding and bagging.  Tornado Lady slipped on her
shirt which she had left with her purse at the counter.  As she got the last of
her blouse buttoned and tucked into her skirt, I finished bagging, and CeCe
ripped the receipt from the register.  Tornado Lady signed, slipped her purse
onto her shoulder, retrieved her keys from her purse, snatched the bags off the
counter, and flew out the door yelling, “Thanks.  I’ll be back but gotta get to
court now.”

While CeCe took a
few deep breaths, I said, “Let me guess.  She was arrested for indecent
exposure?”

“She’s an
attorney,” CeCe corrected.  “Said she woke up this morning and found her
clothes were uncomfortably tight, unlike yesterday when they still fit fine. 
She was planning to hit the maternity scene this weekend, but junior apparently
had a growth spurt overnight and changed her plans.  You should have been here
for the romp around the shop in her blouse and panties.  That’s how we tried on
the skirts and pants.  So that’s pretty much how the customers have been
running this morning.  How did things go with Aunt Pearl?”

I know CeCe’s
morning should have made me feel my morning wasn’t so bad, but I was still
feeling the sting of having humiliated myself in front of a gorgeous guy.  Just
as I was about to pour my heart out, two women came through the door and
answered “yes” when asked if we could help them find something.

“I’ll tell you
later,” I said quietly to CeCe.  “But I promise you this.  I will never again
belittle you for your words or actions when you are around Ben.” 

“Deputy Ben,” CeCe
automatically corrected as we walked toward our customers, “and now I can’t
wait to hear.  That must have been some trip with your mother.”

After assisting
the steady stream of customers who came and went, CeCe and I were more than
ready to eat when Fry strolled in to cover us for lunch.  The big smile on his
face when he came through the door put me on high alert and made me dread what
he would say about our encounter at the Build-N-Fix-It earlier. 

“Morning, CeCe.  Hello
again Maaaaggie,” he greeted, and the longer it took him to say my name, the
wider his smile grew.  Yup, I think this situation calls for dread and maybe a
preemptive strike.  

“Hey, Fry.  CeCe,
did I tell you I ran into Fry and a friend of his at the Build-N-Fix-It this
morning?  I barely remember it since I was in such a fog at the time.  Now Fry
knows why I should never give up caffeine,” I half-chuckled as I spoke.  “I go
without it one morning, and I can hardly function.”

CeCe looked a
little lost.  “You saw Fry this morning?  Who was the friend?  What do you mean
you went without caffeine?  I could have sworn I saw you drinking coff . . . .”

 “Oh, Fry’s friend
was a guy we knew in high school.  Luke.  You remember Luke?  Fry mentioned him
yesterday.  He used to hang out with Fry in school?  Anyway, he moved away
after high school, but now he’s back in town to take care of his uncle.  Isn’t
that what you said, Fry?  He’s going to be taking care of his uncle?  Isn’t
that nice?  I think it’s so sweet when the younger generation takes care of
their older relatives.  Just like older relatives took care of the younger
generation when they were – you know, younger.  Don’t you agree?  Man, I am starving. 
Are you ready for lunch CeCe?  Can we bring you back anything, Fry?” I rambled.

No one said
anything for about 10 seconds.  I could tell CeCe was trying to figure out what
was going on, and Fry was looking very smug – as if I had just confirmed
something he already suspected.  I may have mentioned earlier that Fry has some
deficiencies in the thought process department.  It’s also true that he has
this idiot savant quality when it comes to reading people where their emotions
are concerned.  It’s uncanny, a little eerie and at the moment, a pain in the
butt!

“Since you’re
starving, you go ahead and go to lunch.  We’ll have a nice chat when you come
back.  Okay?” Fry asked as innocently as he could manage.

I scooped up our
purses, grabbed CeCe’s arm, and headed for the car.  “C’mon, I’ll drive.  I
feel like tacos today.  How about you?  Tacos sound good?”

CeCe was still
trying to grasp exactly what was going on but allowed me to usher her as far as
the car door without protest.  That was the end of the line.

“I’ll go quietly
on one condition,” CeCe negotiated.  “You have to spill, and I mean
everything.  That includes an explanation for that smirk on Fry’s face.”

“Of course, CeCe,”
I assured her.  “I was going to tell you, but the shop was so busy, and I
didn’t want to start and not get to finish.  Then customers just kept coming
and coming, which normally I’m glad to see, but today, not so much.”

Once in the car,
we shot over to Casa Del Taco.  It’s close to the shop, inexpensive, and
delicious.  What more can you ask for in life?  After we loaded our trays with
tacos, tostados, quesadillas, and diet sodas, we grabbed a booth and went to
town Mexican style.  Between bites I went into detail about my trip to the
Build-N-Fix-It.  I related the conversation I overheard between Fry and Great
Voice Guy, my attempt to get a look at him, and the embarrassing impression I
made.  Then I poured out my heart-felt apology for not being more sympathetic
and supportive when CeCe was pining away for Ben, or feeling bad about saying
stupid stuff in his presence.  We both vowed we would work on chilling our
image where gorgeous guys were concerned.  Unfortunately, we weren’t sure how
to go about it.  After we finished our lunch and refilled our drinks, we headed
back to the shop.  CeCe graciously allowed that I should tell Fry as much or as
little as I wanted about my interest in his friend Luke.

As we entered the
shop, Fry was bagging a purchase for the customer at the register.

“And I feel silly
trying to rush it, but I honestly don’t think I’ll make it waiting a few more
months to start showing.  I want the world to know I’m pregnant.”  This came from
the customer waiting for Fry to hand her the bag.  Her jeans fit her nicely and
appeared to be a size zero. 

“Well, Brittany, I
think you’re well on your way to letting the world know you’re expecting,” Fry
confided.  “It’s true you still have a while before you’ll be showing since you
are only two weeks along, but I think wearing the ‘Bundle Below’ t-shirt you
bought will give the world a hint.  Now you take care and come back to see us
when you find you’re starting to fit into these clothes and your other stuff is
too tight, okay?”

We all said bye to
Brittany as she bounced out of the shop.

“Did you have a
nice lunch?”  When I looked up from stashing my purse, I saw Fry had punctuated
that question with a repeat appearance of his earlier smirk.

“Yes, we did,” I
answered all perky, ignoring the smirk.  “We went to Casa Del Taco.  You like
them, don’t you?  We could have brought you something, but you didn’t seem
interested.  They have the best tacos and quesadillas.  You like their stuff right? 
You’re probably getting hungry with all this talk about tacos.  Why don’t I run
down the street, and get you some.  It seems silly for you to be sitting here
hungry when they’re so close.  It’ll only take a minute.  How many would you
like?”

“Damn, woman.  You
seem to have found some of those words you were unable to locate earlier when
you were talking, and I use that term loosely, to my friend Luke,”  Fry
chuckled as he spoke.

CeCe came tearing
out of the office in the back, yelling, “Swear Bear!  Swear Bear!”

“Sure, sure,
whatever,” Fry said, reaching into his pocket for change.  “Now cut the taco
sh...crap, and tell me what’s what.”

“I’m sure I don’t
know what you’re talking about,” I replied innocently.  “There’s nothing to
tell, really.  Mother and I were there to pick up a faucet and light fixtures. 
I told you she was renovating her bathroom, didn’t I?  I tried to tell her it
would be better to get someone to install them for her, but you know how my
mother can be.  She’s insisting she is capable . . . . ”

“Actually, I was
more interested in your reaction to Luke,” Fry interrupted.  “I don’t think
I’ve ever seen you so flustered.  I guess he is easy on the peepers, but you
really have it bad, don’t you?”

“Look, I had just
had the wind knocked out of me.  Literally.  I don’t have anything for or
against Luke,” I said casually.  “I don’t even know anything about the guy. 
Where was he all those years anyway – in jail?”

“Noooo,” Fry said
eyeing me suspiciously.  His voice took on a quality of softness and patience,
like you would use with a child to make them understand something.  “He did a
few years in the Marines.  I think that might have been court mandated, but
when he got out, he joined the Peace Corps.  Didn’t I mention this already?”
Fry’s smirk had returned, but he removed it when he saw me giving him the evil
eye.  “He spent the last six years in various locations in South America and
Africa working with the Peace Corps, and just as the last gig ended, he came
home to visit his Uncle Barney.  That’s when he discovered his uncle was
beginning to have some problems with dementia.  Barney, his dad’s brother, and
Luke have been pretty close since Luke’s parents died when he was eighteen.  So
he decided to move here so he could look after Barney and make sure he is taken
care of.  Luke is the only relative Barney has left, but he would have done it
anyway, ‘cause he’s crazy about the old guy.  Luke is self-employed and some
sort of construction wizard.  Seems he did a lot of that in the Peace Corps and
picked up some expertise.  He’s been back in town about three months, and he is
seriously in demand.”

“Really?” CeCe
inquired.  “What’s he working on now?”

Although the
question was asked casually, I shot CeCe a look to let her know I was watching
her exchange.  My scrunched eyebrow was code to let her know it would be best
not to divulge my interest in Luke since I know where she lives and the time
she will be sleeping.

“He got the
contract to do the library expansion,” Fry replied.  “He’s hired a crew and
everything.  Big businessman, you know?  Yeah, he’s really straightened out,
and he’s going places.  I’m just saying, in case either of you are interested
in him as relationship material.  He’s a great guy.” 

Although Fry
technically answered CeCe’s inquiry, he watched me the entire time he responded
to her question.  I also noted the wattage of his smile increased the longer he
spoke.  I’m thinking my calm, cool, and aloof demeanor fooled no one. 

“I just remembered
we were supposed to stop by the sheriff’s office to ask a favor for the
sisters,” I said looking around for my purse, my keys, a tissue . . . anywhere
but directly at Fry, who seemed to be trying to get a read on me. “Can you
cover us for a while?  We won’t be gone more than an hour.  Let’s go, CeCe.”

CeCe and I walked
nonchalantly through the main entrance of the library.  Yes, we were on our way
to the sheriff’s office to get neighborhood watch information for the sisters. 
Then CeCe had this brilliant idea to stop by the library so she could get a
visual on Luke.  She said her curiosity was killing her, and it seemed like a
good idea a few moments ago when we were still in the car.  Now that we were
physically on the premises, CeCe’s fun idea of stopping to sneak a look at Luke
while he was working was a little panic inducing.  There was a soft ding as we
stepped through the second set of sliding glass doors that gave me the sudden
urge to bolt right back outside.