Nothing Else Matters (16 page)

***

  I folded her into my arms happy that I was there when she needed me. She sobbed so heavily that her knees buckled. I picked her up, cradled her in my arms, and then sat down on the bed.

  "I'm never going to be good enough," she cried. "No matter what I do."

  "
Shh
," I said, brushing a stray dark brown curl away from her face.

  "Everything's so messed up, Scottie. Everyone hates each other. Mrs. Turner was robbed." Reyna was speaking quickly, almost irrationally.

  "Rey, you can't solve the problems of the world."

  Reyna pulled away from me and wiped the tears from her face. She pushed herself off of my lap and stood. Chewing her thumbnail she turned away from me.

  I sensed something was coming. Maybe she was upset with me for starting the fight today. Maybe that was why she wouldn't look at me while she bandaged up the other students.

  "I'm sorry about the fight," I said, trying to face it head on. "I just ... I couldn't take the things Carson was saying about us ... about you."

  Reyna nodded. "Carson's a racist jackass. Remember when he dressed up in black face for the eighth grade Halloween party?" She sat at her desk and crossed her legs.

  I breathed a sigh of relief. She knew the type of person Carson was. She couldn't blame me for standing up to him.

  "We shouldn't see each other anymore," she said suddenly.

  "What? Why?" I asked, standing.

  "You don't need to be getting into fights for me. You have enough going on in your life."

  "But you know what type of person he is. You should've heard what he said about you."

  Reyna closed her eyes tightly. She breathed slowly as if holding back tears. "I know exactly what type of person Carson is. And before today he was one of your closest friends."

  I felt like she had sliced my chest open. She was right, though. He had been one of my friends. But did that mean I was just like him? Apparently, Reyna thought so.

  I sat back down on the bed and put my head in my hands. This wasn't happening. She wasn't breaking up with me. How could she leave me after what I'd been through? She didn't even have a clue how my doctor's appointment had turned out.

  "How could you think I'm like him? I love you," I said, searching her eyes for understanding. She turned away from me again. She wouldn't be able to look me in the eyes and tell me she thought I was as racist as Carson.

“I didn’t say I thought you were like Carson,” she said to the wall instead of looking at me. “Scottie, I just … I feel so … I’m so stressed I don’t know what to do.” She covered her eyes with her fingertips. I thought she was about to start crying again. “I’m under so much pressure I feel like I’m going to explode. You have no idea what it’s like constantly having to prove yourself.”

“I have no idea? Are you kidding me?” I felt anger rising in me. I stood and loomed over her. How could she make such an assumption? “I know exactly what it’s like. I constantly have to be the strongest, the fastest,
the
most victorious. I’m under pressure too, you know? That doesn’t mean I’m gonna push away someone I love.”

“That’s different Scott. You can take off your jersey and just be Scott if you wanted to. You don’t have to be an athlete. I can’t just whip off my skin color. I’m always black.”

Frustration mingled with the anger singed my insides. Why was she making things so complicated?
I knelt in front of her and said, “I love you. You love me. Nothing else matters, Rey.
Nothing.”

She didn’t respond. She didn’t even look at me.

Standing I said,
“So, because I’m not black, we can’t be together? Is that what you’re trying to say?” The words came out more accusatory than I’d meant. My tone probably only served to push her away more.

  "I don’t know what I’m trying to say,” she said, resting her head on her desk. Then she took a deep breath and added in a very formal tone, “I have work to do. I have stupid essay due tomorrow on Romeo and Juliet. I hate that play.”

I stared at her in shock. “Why are you doing this?”

“Maybe there’s no happy ending for us, Scott. Maybe we’re like Romeo and Juliet and our lives are destined for tragedy. It’s easier if we just go back to the way things were.”

“Oh, so now it’s Shakespeare’s fault we can’t be together?”

Reyna ignored my sarcasm. She turned on her computer and tried to shut me out. She was running. Running from anything she couldn't control. Running from everything she couldn't fix with a Band-Aid or extra tutoring.

  I wanted to grab her and shake her. I wanted to tell her that we could get through this together and that she didn't have to end what we had.

  "Reyna, you're about as stubborn as a horse with a hangnail. You still don't realize how special this is," I said, reaching for my keys. "I just hope you figure it out before it's too late."

***

  Before it's too late? What did he mean by that? It wasn't until she heard his car start that she realized she hadn't inquired about his doctor visit. For all she knew he could be dying from some debilitating disease, yet she was too wrapped up in her own emotions to even think to ask. She hated herself at that moment. How could she be so selfish when Scottie needed her? She rested her head on the desk and sobbed some more.

She knew what the official plan was of the MSA members. Nearly all of them had decided not to step foot on Charleston Prep property until this issue had been resolved. Clayton’s father, a lawyer, actually had a civil suit in the works.

The exception to this plan was Derek, A.J., Lawrence and Tyrone. They needed to come to school because they still wanted to be eligible to play in the game Friday night in case the perpetrator was caught. Reyna also attended. Her innate obsession with fixing everything deluded her into thinking that her presence may help lead the school in the right direction. She also didn’t want people to think she was afraid.

“Hey, Rey,” Derek said, leaning against the locker next to hers right after lunch.

“Hi, Derek,” she replied a little surprised he was talking to her. He hadn’t said a word to her since he found out that she was dating Scott not even responding to the text message she’d sent him. Even through all the drama over the banner he had been able to avoid her completely. Now out of the blue, he was speaking to her.

“Look, I wanted to apologize for acting like such a spoiled brat when I saw you were with Scott. That was dumb.” And now he was apologizing. Derek Strong was apologizing. Something was up.

“Um, it’s okay. I should be the one apologizing. Did you get my text? I mean, I agree to go out on a date with you one day and then the next day I’m kissing another guy. That was pretty rude of me.”

Derek looked down at his shoes then rubbed his bald head. “Yeah, um, how are you and Scott by the way?” he asked not making eye contact.

“Actually, we broke up.” Reyna closed her locker and swung her tote back over her shoulder. She slouched a little at the weight of it. Given all the books she had to carry it would have made more since to use a backpack. But she could never find one that matched her fashion flavor. Instead, she carried her books in a stylish white leather tote complete with gold detailing to match her bracelets.

“Let me carry that for you,” Derek offered. “I’m sorry to hear about you two,” he said as they walked toward her next class. Reyna noticed that when she walked the halls with Derek, no one stared at her. “Look, this has been a stressful time for everyone. Why don’t we get together and talk sometime? Just the two of us.”

Reyna blew her cheeks out. What would be the harm in talking to Derek? Maybe she hadn’t given him a fair shot. Maybe La Cienega would smile when she was with him as well.

“Sure, okay.”

Derek’s face lit up as he handed over her tote bag of books then dashed down the hall. Reyna thought no one stared at her when she was with Derek. That was until she saw Scott fuming at the end of the hall.

***

School turned out to be a worthless endeavor that day. I couldn’t concentrate with thoughts of Reyna clouding my mind. I still couldn’t believe I saw her talking to Derek. He sure didn’t waste time swooping in the second I was out of the picture. Only I wasn’t out of the picture yet. I wasn’t letting Reyna go that easily.

It was amazing how Reyna was still the most prominent thing on my mind when moments ago I had gotten a message from my doctor’s office saying I needed to come in for a consultation as soon as possible. What was more, they suggested I not come alone. I went to find Reyna to ask her to come with me and that’s when I saw her talking to Derek. Judging on how happy he looked when they parted company, I just figured she had agreed to go out with him.

Stu came with me back to the doctor’s office. They probably assumed I would bring a parent, but they didn’t know what my parent was like. I couldn’t stand another minute with Sam after her two hour tirade last night about black people blowing things out of proportion and their conspiracy to try to ruin my career.

“How’s Reyna?” Stu asked as we waited in Dr. Schaeffer’s office.

“I don’t know. You should probably ask Derek Strong.” I folded my arms and turned away from him like a slighted three-year-old.

“Oh lord, drama. What happened?” he asked.

Before I could answer, Dr. Schaeffer bustled into the room. He shook both our hands quickly then sat down behind his desk. Dr. Schaeffer always looked like he was in a hurry. You would think he was an ER doctor instead of a pediatrician.

After placing several files in order on his desk, he clasped his hands in front of him and opened his mouth to speak. No words came out. He then ran his fingers through his salt and pepper hair as he stared at the ceiling. He was obviously struggling to find the right words.

“Scott, I don’t usually have to have conversations like this,” he said finally after clasping his hands under his chin. “I’m used to telling kids they have chicken pox, or handing out acne medications. But the symptoms you presented to me really had me concerned.” He shifted in his seat giving my heart just enough time to start beating out of control. “I actually called a few of my colleagues for direction.” He paused again

“Dr. Schaeffer, can you please just tell me what’s wrong.”

“You’re diagnosis is pretty complicated. There are several things going on with you. But what’s causing everything is Lupus.”

“Lupus, what’s that?” Stu asked, leaning forward in his seat. I fell back into my seat deflated. I knew what Lupus was. It had been one of Reyna’s mystery diseases that she’d studied a few weeks ago.

“It’s a chronic inflammatory disease that occurs when the body’s immune system attacks its own tissue and organs. It usually manifests in the joint pain and soreness you described. It can also result in skin lesions, which you said you saw on your chest on Monday. Besides the joints and skin, it can also affect blood cells, heart, lungs, brain and central nervous system.”

“Oh my God,” Stu said, biting his fist. “Is it deadly?”

“It can be,” the doctor said, handing Stu a brochure. He’d tried to hand it to me first, but I was in a state of shock. I couldn’t move. “Most people with this illness can lead active lives. Most fatalities come when it attacks one of the major organs. In your case, Scott, I fear it may already be affecting your brain and your lungs.”

“What?” Stu and I said simultaneously. I leaned forward eager to hear how my brain and lungs had anything to do with shoulder pain.