Nothing Left to Lose (20 page)

A little shiver
ran down my spine at how sexy he sounded. Gulping, I mentally
chastised myself for still letting him affect me. I pushed my elbow
back into his stomach, forcing him to step back and give me some
personal space.

“I believe you
won’t quit,” I admitted. “Your problem will be if I have to get you
transferred,” I warned.

He sighed and
stepped back, so I chanced turning and looking up at him. He forced
a smile. “You won’t have to get me transferred, I promise.” I
smiled gratefully, and a large yawn escaped before I even had time
to cover my mouth. He grinned and nodded over his shoulder.
“Bedtime, Miss Spencer.”

As we walked
through the house, he was asking me what type of movies I preferred
because I admitted that I didn’t like horror or paranormal ones. By
the time we got to my bedroom door, he frowned and kicked at the
floor with his toe. “So, er, can I sleep in your room?”

I gulped,
recoiling slightly but nodded in agreement. “I guess, yeah.”

Not waiting for
him, I marched into my room and grabbed some pyjamas before heading
into the bathroom to change. I took my time, calming my nerves,
mentally steeling myself against being in bed with him again. I
wasn’t sure this was a good idea after what had happened between us
that morning.

When I’d
finally worked up the courage, I left the bathroom, expecting to
see him lying in my bed, half naked. But he wasn’t. Instead, he’d
taken one set of my pillows and the throw that covered the bottom
of my bed and had made a little bed for himself on the floor next
to my own.

My heart
stuttered at the sweet move because I’d just assumed that he would
expect to share my bed. He was lying on his back, his chest bare,
one arm folded behind his head, and his other stretched across his
stomach. He smiled as I stepped out of the room.

“I thought
you’d fallen in or something,” he joked, mocking the amount of time
I’d been in the bathroom.

I laughed
awkwardly and walked to my bed, climbing in but rolling so I was at
the edge of the bed and could look down to see him stretched out on
the floor. “You gonna be okay down there?”

He nodded
quickly. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry,” he vowed. “Goodnight.”

“Night, Pretty
Boy.”

My eyes
wandered to his chest as my body longed to move down onto the floor
with him, to press against his side and let his warmth flood into
my system. My scalp prickled as I imagined how soft his skin would
feel under my hand if I just stretched out and touched him, or how
his tongue would taste against mine. I longed for these things, but
I refused to allow them to happen. Instead, I reached up and
flicked off the light, submerging us into darkness.

I cracked my
eyes open, wincing as the light from the window made my eyes sting.
I squeezed them closed again and rolled over, almost falling out of
the bed as I was so close to the edge. Groaning quietly, I suddenly
realised that Ashton wasn’t snoring, or even breathing heavily.
Frowning, I peeked over the edge of the bed, only to find that the
place that he’d slept was now empty, his pillow and makeshift
blanket folded and placed on my dresser chair. My eyes flicked to
the alarm clock, it was only just after seven thirty. I groaned in
frustration. I would have definitely preferred to sleep in longer
than this! A small folded piece of paper on the side next to my
alarm clock caught my attention. My name was scribbled on the front
in typical boy’s messy handwriting. I reached for it, opening it
eagerly, already wondering why he’d gotten up so early.

Anna,

I went for a
run in the gym to build up my stamina.

Ashton

A small chuckle
escaped my lips at the stamina comment. I flopped back against the
pillows and stared up at the ceiling. Today was my last day here
because tomorrow was the scheduled trip to Arizona, ready to start
my new school on Monday. There was nothing I wanted to do today, so
I nibbled on my lip thinking of how I could whittle away the hours
rather than having to spend time with my parents. If I kept myself
busy then I wouldn’t have to see them behave awkwardly around me
all day while they tried to pretend like they understood how I was
feeling. I hated that.

The only thing
I could think of was something that Ashton had said yesterday.
Shooting practice. Maybe if I was there with him and he was
teaching me how to use a gun in a safe way, I would finally get
over some of my fear of them. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe
that it would ever go away, I just wondered if him teaching me the
basics of shooting might stop the complete blood-curdling terror
from taking over whenever I came into contact with one. There was
only one way to find out.

I sighed and
pushed myself out of bed, needing to get this over with early if I
was actually going to be able to go through with it. My nerve would
deteriorate the longer I left it, so I needed to set the wheels in
motion before it fizzled out altogether.

Stepping into
my en-suite bathroom, my gaze landed on the mirror. The girl that
looked back at me was unfamiliar and so incredibly different to
what I’d been used to seeing for the last three years. My eyes had
lost the tired look that they always had, probably because since
Ashton came here, I’d slept better than the last three years put
together. My skin looked like it had more colour, my posture wasn’t
as tight and defensive as usual. I smiled, perplexed that one
person, and of course, some sleep, could make me feel and look so
different.

I decided to
try out how it felt to wear normal clothes. At least if I tried it
out here and couldn’t cope, then I could pack my usual stuff before
we left. Not bothering to wash my hair again, I straightened it
using the straightening irons that my mother had bought me two
years ago that hadn’t even been removed from their box. Afterwards,
I looked through my closet for a solid five minutes before choosing
a pair of cropped, fitted jeans, a fitted red shirt and a pair of
red open-toed heels. When I looked in the mirror again, I looked
even less like the girl that I had come to associate myself as. I
wasn’t sure I liked it.

Knowing I
needed to take the plunge before we left, I pulled back my
shoulders and raised my chin, trying to fake confidence as I left
my room and headed downstairs. I didn’t pull it off.

As I passed the
entrance to the gym, I could hear the sounds of feet thumping on
the treadmill. I smiled and slipped inside, seeing Ashton running
with his back to me. He was jogging steadily in just a pair of
black shorts. Sweat ran down his back and wet the hair at the nape
of his neck. I gulped as I watched the muscles in his legs and back
tighten with each stride. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

He was just
slowing down, so I waited until he’d come to a stop before I spoke.
“Hi,” I chirped, smiling and trying not to blush and let on to the
fact that I’d just been watching him with lust-filled eyes for the
last couple of minutes. He spun around as if I’d made him jump. The
shock was evident on his face as he stared at me with his mouth
hanging open and his eyes wide. “I didn’t think I was supposed to
be able to creep up on you. I thought you were supposed to be some
badass SWAT guy. Maybe I put too much faith in your ability to
protect me,” I teased, leaning on the doorframe, crossing one leg
over the other.

“I… I…” he
stuttered weakly as his eyes raked over my body slowly.

Oh, he likes
my new clothes!
“You… You… what?” I asked, grinning.

He blew out a
big breath and shook his head. “Shit, Anna, you look
beautiful.”

I blushed at
the compliment. “Um, thanks.”

“I’m not
kidding. Damn. I think I’m gonna need to buy another gun,” he
shrugged, finally dragging his eyes up to mine.

“Another
gun?”

He nodded,
grinning at me wickedly. “Yeah, looks like I’ll need the extra
bullets to keep all the guys away from you next week.”

“Well, thank
goodness I have a badass boyfriend then,” I joked, picking up the
towel and throwing at him. “You have any plans for today? I’ve
thought of something for us to do, if you’re not busy.”

A sceptical,
worried expression crossed his face as he winced. “Please tell me
it doesn’t involve walking around any more clothes stores,” he
whined.

I couldn’t help
but laugh at his begging voice. “No more clothes stores,” I
confirmed. I swallowed around the lump that was rapidly forming in
my throat. “I was actually thinking that you could teach me how to
shoot, like you’d said. There’s a shooting range that my dad goes
to sometimes. It’s about an hour away, I think. We could go as soon
as you’re ready.”

His eyes
widened as he walked over to me, reaching out and setting his hand
on my waist as he bent and looked straight into my eyes. I could
feel the heat from his hand seeping into my skin through my
clothes. I gulped at the intimacy of this small touch. “I thought
you didn’t want to do that,” he whispered, eyeing me worriedly.

“And I thought
you said you wanted me to learn,” I countered. I didn’t want him to
talk me out of it now. I’d been psyching myself up to it for the
last half an hour. “It’ll be fine. If it gives me nightmares then
my big, bad bodyguard can protect me,” I teased, grinning. He
smiled at me cockily. “I may have to pay Dean overtime, but I’m
sure he’ll be up for it,” I added quickly.

He snorted and
rolled his eyes playfully. “You’re gonna let Dean in your bed?
Can’t see that happening,” he replied, grinning mischievously as he
tickled my waist. I wriggled and twisted out of his grasp, laughing
uncontrollably. I had a very ticklish spot on my ribs, and it
appeared that he’d just found it.

He laughed and
stepped back, letting his hand drop from my side. “I should shower.
Why don’t you go have some breakfast and then I’ll meet you in
there in a bit,” he suggested. I nodded in agreement, and headed
out of the room, holding the door open for him to walk through too.
He shot me a little smile as he walked in the opposite direction to
me.

As I stepped
through the door to the kitchen, I groaned inwardly and wished I’d
skipped food today. Both of my parents were sitting at the
breakfast bar sipping coffee. They stopped talking and looked up at
me as I walked in.

I forced a
tight smile. “Morning.” I kept my greeting short, not wanting to
instigate a conversation with them.

“Annabelle, you
look beautiful!” my mom gushed. “Did you get that shirt
yesterday?”

I nodded,
frowning as I strutted to the coffee pot and poured myself a cup.
Did everyone know my every move? “Yeah. I got a few things to take
with me to the new school. I spent on the credit card, hope that’s
okay.” Too late if it wasn’t. Maybe I should have asked first…

“Of course it
is. It’s your allowance, you never spend it,” my dad answered. I
turned back to see him smiling at me – a genuine smile. I hadn’t
seen one of those for a long time. Generally our relationship could
be classified as ‘strained’ so I never really saw them smile much
around me anymore. I could see the hopefulness in both of their
eyes. Clearly they were reading something into the new clothes. I
hated the little, meaningful smile they exchanged because they
thought I wouldn’t notice.

Roll on
tomorrow, so I can get the heck out of here!

I pulled out a
stool at the end of the breakfast bar and sat down, pulling a bowl
and box of cereal towards me. The air was thick with awkwardness,
and you could probably cut the tension with a knife as I sat there
with them. It was probably strange for both of them to be sitting
here having coffee with a daughter they had all but been estranged
from for the last three years. It appeared no one knew what to
say.

Needing to
break the silence because it was practically deafening me, I
cleared my throat and said the first thing that popped into my
head. “Agent Taylor is taking me shooting today.”

My dad’s eyes
widened as he regarded me quizzically. Either because I’d
volunteered to start a conversation, or because of the topic. “Oh
really? I didn’t know you had an interest that that kind of
thing.”

“I don’t.
Ashton thinks it’ll be good for me,” I replied, shrugging and
focussing on pushing my cereal around my bowl with my spoon.

“Well, maybe it
would be a good idea,” my dad agreed. I could practically hear the
cogs of his brain ticking over, trying to work this all out and
read things into it. “I’ll put in a call to a friend and have you
some guest passes ready so you don’t have to join and fill in
paperwork.”

My mom chimed
in then, asking my dad when the last time was that he went
shooting, and thankfully the conversation required little to no
input from me, so I sat quiet and chewed on my cereal, silently
willing Ashton to hurry up.

After ten
minutes I was all but ready to run from the room. Talk had been
sparse, and the uncomfortable atmosphere had gotten so bad that I
could barely sit still. When Ashton strutted into the kitchen,
dressed and smiling, I practically jumped out of my seat and
breathed a sigh of relief.

“Hi, you
ready?” I asked hopefully.

“Er…” he looked
from me to the food and back again. My heart sank. I’d had enough
and needed to leave. “Yeah, sure.” He turned to my parents and
smiled politely. “Good morning, sir, ma’am.”

I reached out
and snagged him a bagel and an apple before stepping to his side
and holding it out to him, praying he wouldn’t suggest we eat it
here. “Let’s get going then, it’s a little way away.” He smiled
sympathetically and nodded, before leaning over and picking up a
granola bar too. “Bye. See you at dinner,” I said to my parents,
knowing that I would never get out of my last dinner before
leaving.