Nothing To Lose: A Grey Justice Novel (23 page)

When she and Thomas had married, Nick had forced himself not to think of her in any other light but as his friend’s wife. Hadn’t been easy. Seeing her happy and thriving had helped. Knowing Thomas was good to her and obviously adored her lessened his pain. He had dated voraciously, specifically seeking out women who looked nothing like Kennedy. He had developed a reputation and was envied by many men. Little did they know that he would have given all of that up to be with the woman he loved.

Thomas might be gone, but in a way he was still here, his presence almost as strong as if he were in the room with them. They were doing this job to seek justice for his death. When that was over, what was next? He would go back to being a cop, but what about Kennedy? Would Thomas always stand between them?

“You look so serious.”

Her voice, soft and drowsy, stirred the deep cauldron of emotions he fought on a daily basis. Calling himself a fool didn’t stop him from standing and going to her. Her eyes were only half open, but as he sat on the arm of the recliner, they went wide. His heart thudding like a violent drummer, Nick leaned forward and placed his mouth over hers. She tasted better than any fantasy he’d ever allowed himself. He heard a slight gasp and tensed, waiting for her to pull away and demand to know what he was doing. Instead, she raised her head slightly to allow for a deeper connection. He didn’t question why or how. He didn’t think at all. For the first time in his life, he was kissing the woman he loved.
 

As much as he wanted to hold her, make love to that luscious mouth, he kept the kiss light, allowing Kennedy to set the pace. When he felt her stiffen slightly, he fought every instinct within him to keep her close, and backed away. And waited. Had it been a mistake? Would there be regret in her eyes?
 

“What’s happening here, Nick?”

That wasn’t regret he saw…more like confusion. Maybe a hint of wonder? He took that as a good sign but didn’t push. It was way too early to admit his feelings. Hell, he didn’t even know if he’d ever be able to do that.

He shrugged, as casual as possible. “Just felt right.”

“It did, didn’t it? I—”

Whatever she’d been about to say was cut off by the loud blast outside her door. Surging to his feet, Nick pulled his gun from the holster at his waist. “Where’s your gun?”

She frowned up at him. “In my purse, in the bedroom. But why? Wasn’t that—”

“Get it and lock your bedroom door. If I’m not back in five minutes, call 911.”

Though he could still see questions in her eyes, he was grateful she came to her feet immediately and ran to the bedroom.

He waited until he heard the door click before striding to the window. A lone car sat in the driveway, puffing out fumes like a frenzied smoker. The roof of the car held a sign, advertising the Chinese restaurant he’d ordered from. A kid holding a large brown paper bag meandered up the sidewalk toward the house.
 

Nick blew out a ragged sigh. The loud blast had been nothing more than the kid’s car backfiring. At least he hadn’t dropped to his knees and hid the way he had the first few months after he’d gotten out of the hospital. Still, he’d thought he was through with that shit.
 

The doorbell rang. Even though he was positive about the noise and was sure the kid was just delivering their food, Nick took nothing for granted anymore. Shoving the gun in the small of his back, he covered it with his T-shirt and opened the door.

A brown bag was shoved toward him. “That’s $34.30.”

Handing him the money and tip, Nick accepted the bag and closed the door. He turned and saw Kennedy’s face peeking around a corner. “Everything okay?”

He held up the bag of food. “Just the food delivery. Apparently, the kid needs a new carburetor for his old car. Car backfired.”

“I thought that’s what it was.” Frowning, she asked, “Are you all right?”

“Yeah.” He grimaced an apology. “Just residual damage from the shooting. Hadn’t had that reaction in a while. Sorry I scared you.”

“Totally understandable. Besides, we’re not exactly living carefree lives these days.”

“You got that right. Come on, let’s eat and forget about it for a while.”

Kennedy followed him into the kitchen. Now that the excitement of that moment had passed, the memory of what happened right before returned full force. Nick had kissed her. Not only that, she had kissed him back. It had been soft, sweet…absolutely delicious. And she had wanted more.

While Nick unpacked the food, Kennedy went about getting plates and silverware. When they were settled at the table, sitting across from each other, she lifted her gaze to his and asked quietly, “Are we just going to pretend the kiss didn’t happen?”

“What do you want? Do you want to forget it happened?”

The question was unexpected but more than reasonable. Yet how could she explain what she was feeling when she really didn’t know herself? For so long, he had been Nick, Thomas’s best friend and occasional poker buddy. The guy who came over on Saturdays to watch football games or dropped by unexpectedly with pizza, a six-pack, and a movie. Now, he was gorgeous, sexy, considerate, protective, surprisingly mysterious Nick.
 

For the first time in almost two years, Kennedy felt alive. But also incredibly confused.

Taking the easy way out wasn’t her usual preference…in this, she had no choice. She simply couldn’t face these new feelings right now on top of everything else.

“I wouldn’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Nick wasn’t one for taking the easy route, either. “Is that all you want? Friendship?”

“Do I have to answer that right now?”

His eyes blazed with a thousand questions, and her emotions churned. Would he challenge her? She might not be able to say for sure what she was feeling, but one thing she knew for certain—she didn’t want to lose Nick.

“Sorry.” He gave her a grimacing smile. “Didn’t mean to push.”
 

Their earlier camaraderie now shattered, they ate in a tense, uncomfortable silence.

Hoping to return to a neutral, less complicated subject, she said, “Why do you think Grey Justice does what he does?”

Having just taken a giant bite of an eggroll, Nick took a minute to chew and swallow before answering. His slightly halting words gave her the idea that he’d been wondering the same thing. “I think something must have happened… to make him want to see others get their justice. Maybe he didn’t get justice himself.” He shrugged. “That’s the only explanation I’ve been able to come up with. Doubt we’ll ever know unless he wants to tell us.”

“I did some research on him the night we met with him. Even though there’s a ton of press about him, his past is very sketchy.”

“I noticed that, too.”

“You dug into his past, too?”

“I wasn’t about to get you involved with him without checking him out.”

She dropped her gaze to the food on her plate, touched by his concern. From the moment she’d lost Thomas, Nick had been looking out for her.
 

Raising her eyes back to his face, she gave him something she should have done the first time she’d seen him again—an apology. “I’m sorry I didn’t contact you. I know you must have worried about me.”

A hot light blazed in his eyes, searing, thrilling...mesmerizing. Suddenly breathless, she sat transfixed, speechless, as hidden depths she’d never known existed came to life in his eyes. Who was this man?

Seconds later, as if the moment never happened, he said, “My first thought was that Slater’s people had gotten to you and dumped your body somewhere. The longer I searched for you, saw the diversionary tactics you used, the more I realized you had disappeared on purpose. Even though I worried, I was glad to know it had been your choice to leave.”

“Thomas left me explicit instructions on who to contact and what I needed to do to disappear and get a new identity. Without that, I doubt I would’ve been so resourceful.”

“I’m glad he did, but as I said before, you’re a strong woman. You would have figured it out.”

“After you recovered, I thought about contacting you but couldn’t make myself do it. You’d almost been killed. I hated to put you at risk again.”

A pained smile twisted at his mouth. “I’m the one who’s supposed to be protecting you.”

“How about we watch each other’s backs from now on?”

“Deal.”

They ate in silence for several more minutes. Kennedy was glad that the earlier tension had eased. She would have to face what was happening between them eventually, but for right now, she couldn’t deal with the whirl of emotions that had gone through her at Nick’s kiss. And that hot stare had almost melted her. She’d never had anyone look at her like that.

“So you met Adam Slater today?”

She jerked her attention back to the present. “Yes.” She grimaced, remembering the babbling, blushing, awkwardly painful event. “It wasn’t my finest moment. I blushed and stammered like a schoolgirl. I even tried to explain to him where Amarillo was. I’m sure he thinks I would be useless as an assistant.”

“Eli seemed to think his brother was quite taken with you.”

“If that’s the case, then he’s right in his assessment that Adam covets whatever Eli has, because my conversational skills wouldn’t have impressed a five-year-old.”

“The dinner party on Friday night…you going to be ready to handle that or should we wait for another opportunity?”

“No, I can handle myself now.”

“Just by spending an afternoon with Justice’s assistant?”

“I’ll be seeing her every day until Friday. And, yes, without a doubt, I will be ready.” Still unable to explain the phenomenal experience with Irelyn Raine, she said a quiet but confident, “Don’t worry. I’ll do great.”

His gaze admiring, he sat back in his chair. “Anyone ever tell you that you’re one hell of a woman, Kennedy O’Connell?”

Like a flash wildfire igniting, heat rushed through Kennedy. She told herself it was simply pleasure at Nick’s compliment that was making her glow, but she knew it was much more. Nick’s approval was becoming more important to her every day.
 

“Are you finished?”

“What?”

“Your meal? Do you want more?”

“No…I mean, yes, I’m finished.”
 

Apparently thinking exhaustion had finally caught up with her, he stood and began to gather the half-empty boxes of food. “Why don’t you go on to bed…I’ll clean up the kitchen.”

Kennedy stood, whispered a soft good-night, and sped out of the kitchen. Maybe she was exhausted, not thinking clearly, because her first instinct when he’d told her to go on to bed was to hold out her hand and ask him to join her.

Chapter Twenty-one

Nick stared at the monitor, captivated by the beauty on the screen. Wearing an ice-blue cocktail dress with some kind of silver sparkles that glittered when she moved, Kennedy stood out in the horde of people like a small exotic bird among a gathering of crows. She took his breath away. Even though he had seen her leave the house looking like a sexy angel, seeing her on camera was still a shock to his senses. He’d tapped into the security cameras in the hotel ballroom to observe the crowd around her, but his eyes were drawn back to her again and again.

A limo had come by to pick her up, and Nick had been ready to demand an explanation of why she would be unprotected. When he’d seen Eli’s driver, Gunter, he’d been slightly reassured. The man was well over six feet tall and built like an army tank. After a few pertinent questions, Nick felt even better, learning that Gunter’s résumé included a U.S. Army Special Forces stint and two black belts. If this man couldn’t protect Kennedy, no one could.

Still, watching her leave, knowing she would be in the presence of evil, had been damned hard. Only by reminding himself that she would be surrounded by dozens of other people was he able to let her go. He had mentioned his concern to Justice and was reassured to learn that two bodyguards, Justice’s employees, would also be attending with the sole purpose of watching Kennedy’s back.

Nick scanned the crowd of people once more, noting several familiar faces, both politicians and local celebrities. Looked like most of the Dallas elite was in attendance, but still no sign of Mathias or Adam.
 

If Kennedy was nervous, it didn’t show. Maybe the camera didn’t pick up the nuances of emotions like the naked eye, but somehow he didn’t believe that was the explanation. She simply had become someone else the moment she’d walked into the ballroom. He didn’t know what the hell Irelyn Raine was teaching her, but whatever it was had an amazing effect on Kennedy’s personality. The transformation was fascinating.

A movement at the edge of the screen drew his eyes away from Kennedy again. Like a small parting of the Red Sea, people began to back away. And then he saw the reason—Mathias and Eleanor Slater had arrived. Apparently, they were considered the VIPs of the VIPs. The deference being shown to Mathias was sickening.

Nick tried to look at him objectively, as if he didn’t know about the man’s evil deeds. Mathias might be pushing seventy and, according to Eli, in poor health, but he was still a striking man. Though only about five-feet-ten, his erect, rigid posture made him appear much taller. With thick silver hair and an amazingly unlined face, he could have passed for a man twenty years younger. His complexion looked healthy, but Nick figured he owed that to makeup. Having investors know about his illness would have been bad for business.