Notice Me (28 page)

“No, he would go straight to Megan…”

“You do realise Megan is going to have to find out eventually, Shannon?” Lorna smirked at me. “Unless you are planning to live on a remote island with Charlie for the rest of your life.”

“Charlie and I haven’t really thought that far ahead yet.”

“No,
you
haven’t. I am pretty sure Charlie knows exactly want he wants.”

“Lorna, please I am stressed enough as it is.”

“Sorry, so what did you say to Will to make him leave like thunder? Marie is still shaking with the coffee out there.”

“I slapped him.”

Lorna burst into laughter.

“He was going to kiss me. I didn’t hit him hard.”

“You do realise hitting a Field will probably lead to a lawsuit?” Lorna joked.

“I just wished I hadn’t hurt him.”

“Shannon, it’s not your fault. You can’t help who you do and don’t fall in love with.”

“I know it just sucks. Will was a good friend.” I sighed remembering just how simple my life used to be.

“You know I’d love to listen about your amazingly exciting life all day…” Lorna held up my presentation notes. “But we really need to finish this.” I nodded in agreement. I needed the distraction anyway.

Chapter 20

It was such a relief to get the presentation out of the way. I was so nervous before the presentation. I could not believe I was actually sweating as Lorna and I waited outside the boardroom. My stomach was full of butterflies, my hands were clenched to my notes. Lorna really wasn’t much better than me.

As we received our round of applause and handshakes for a job well done, all the nerves were worth it. Lorna and I had done it. Made a marketing campaign Cadman Limited wanted.

I made my way home later that night to get ready for a night of celebrations with Lorna, Bradley and the rest of the marketing team that had helped us.

As I looked in my bag for my front door keys I noticed a silhouette leaning against my door. My heart hammered quickly hoping Charlie had come home early to surprise me, but as I got closer it sank.

“Will, what are you doing here? I thought you were leaving today?”

“I am. I just wanted to say congratulations. I heard the news about Cadman.”

“New travels fast,” I muttered.

“Well, you know I have my sources,” Will smiled, he didn’t look mad at me now.

“Will, I am sorry about yesterday.”

“It’s fine. I shouldn’t have pushed it. That’s why I came to see you. I didn’t want to leave with things that way.” I could tell Will wanted to come in, but I had the slight problem of Charlie’s belongings being scattered across my apartment. How would I explain that to him?

“Will, I would invite you in, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.” I looked down at the floor so he couldn’t read my face.

“It’s fine, I only came to tell you one thing.” I looked up into his eyes, wondering what he had to say. “I will wait Shan. I love you. I don’t think that will ever change. When you are ready, when all of this is out of your system, I will be right here waiting for you.” I froze unable to answer him. I wasn’t expecting this. I wanted him to be free, not sitting around waiting for me. I knew the day he would be waiting for would never come.

“Will…”

“Don’t say anything Shannon. Let’s just end it this way.” Will kissed my cheek softly stroking my neck with his fingertips. “Take care. I will see you when you get back to London. Megan really can’t wait. Did she tell you she has bought a house in London?” Will laughed.

“No she didn’t,” I replied numb.

“Yeah, for the two of you. Megan has got some real plans for the two of you.” I still couldn’t answer. I felt as if the ground was swallowing me. Sending me to my hell. My old life with Megan it wasn’t me anymore, but after what I had done I knew I owed her. When the time came to leave I knew I wouldn’t be strong enough to leave, my whole life was here. “Anyway I better go, take care.” Will kissed my forehead as I awoke from my daze.

“See you soon Will,” I put my key in my front door watching him walk to his car.

“Don’t get too drunk I know you, Shannon,” Will beamed as he got into his car and drove off.

I knew Will had taken my reaction the wrong way again as I watched him drive off. I had given him hope making him believe I was considering his offer, but truthfully I was glad I had protected him from the only thing that mattered to me.

I had a new answer machine message from Charlie when I got into my apartment. I listened to it while I got ready. We had missed each other’s calls all day, what with the time difference. It felt so good to hear his voice. I really wanted him with me tonight. I knew my heart wouldn’t feel as if it could break with all the guilt if he was near. Charlie made all the madness make sense.

I tried his cell again hoping he would pick up, but all I got was his greeting message. I would have to try again later.

I got ready in a rush just because I didn’t want to be alone. The pain was stabbing at my heart. My head was telling me what I was doing was wrong. I was betraying my best friend with the love of her life. How could I ever make this right whatever I decided to do next?

“You are quiet tonight?” Bradley asked me later that night.

“Just tired I guess,” I fought a smile back.

“Shannon, you, me, dance floor,” Lorna shouted grabbing me from the sofa.

We danced for a few songs, but Lorna could see my heart wasn’t in it.

“Are you okay?” She asked worried as we queued for the toilet.

“Yeah,” I sighed.

“No you’re not. Come on spill,” Lorna turned to look at my face.

“Do you think what I’m doing to Megan is wrong?” I asked feeling the release of my question lighten my head.

“No,” Lorna asked straight away. How could she be so sure of her answer?

“Why?” I asked, a tear came to the corners of my eyes.

“If it was just about sex Shannon then it would be different, but you guys really love each other. I mean your story is like bloody Romeo and Juliet. You should write a book it would be priceless.”

“Why does it feel so wrong then?”

“Because you are a good person, Shannon, but really you have to stop this eating you up. You should just think yourself lucky. Some people never find what you guys have.”

“I know, sorry, it’s just hard you know.” I smiled back at Lorna knowing she was right.

The night sort of blurred into one as I began to drink my body weight in alcohol.

I woke up in my apartment fully clothed laying across my couch. I had a lot to thank Lorna for when I eventually got into work.

“How’s the head?” Lorna laughed as she spotted me crawling into my office with my sunglasses on. “God, you look like crap.”

“I know,” I sipped my coffee I had bought from Starbucks on the way to work.

“Charlie called.”

“I missed him again.” Now I was really annoyed with myself.

“I told him you were hung over. He laughed. He is going to call after lunch. I wasn’t sure you would make it in before then.”

“Thanks,” I muttered as Lorna walked off laughing.

It was hard to concentrate with my head throbbing, but after the deal going so well with Cadman Limited yesterday I didn’t have much to do other than a few phone calls and invoices to send.

My heart beat impatiently as lunchtime approached. I really needed to hear his voice. Finally I got the call I had been waiting for.

“Hi sweetheart. Sorry I kept missing you yesterday. It has been a bit mad here.” Charlie’s voice made my heart weep. I wish he was with me now.

“That’s okay. How is it all going?”

“Fine, but what about you? I am so proud of you. Well done.”

“I know it was a good feeling when they signed the contract. Even Mr Caldecott was bricking it towards the end.”

“I knew you could do it. I had faith in you,” Charlie gloated.

“So when are you coming back?”

“I should be back by the weekend.”

“Good.”

“Are you are missing me that much?” Charlie laughed. I loved the way his eyes almost twinkled as he laughed. I wish I could have seen them.

“Too much Charlie,” I sighed.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Please hurry up and come home.”

“I promise. See you in a few days.”

“Bye.”

I took a deep breath as I held the phone. Even though Charlie had already gone I held onto him for just a few more seconds.

I was glad to get home to sleep off my hangover that night, but the next few days were difficult for me. Megan had called. We had been on the phone for at least an hour. She was convinced when I came back to London Will and I would get back together. She told me about the house in South Kensington. She called it
our
house. I tried to sound enthusiastic about it all. I was thankful it was a phone call so Megan couldn’t see my face.

As the weekend drew near I felt almost empty from any emotion. Apart from my love for Charlie I had nothing left inside me. No matter how much I beat myself up about what I was doing that never changed. I was addicted to his love in the same way I had needed Megan’s friendship when I first met her. I finally realised what was going on in my head. Charlie had replaced Megan in every single way. I didn’t need to rely on her. Megan was so self-absorbed in her own life now, even worse than before. If I carried on that life with her I would never have one of my own. What other choice did I need to make? I knew I had to be with Charlie.

We could stay here in New York. Hide out from the Field family for a while, but what could they do to us really anyway? They had the money, but they could not stop me from loving Charlie or vice versa. Deep down I knew I could get through anything if it meant I was with Charlie forever.

I tried to stay up to welcome Charlie back late Friday night to tell him of my new epiphany. I knew he would be impressed as well as delighted, but my eyelids failed.

I awoke on my couch to a soft whisper while someone stroked my face. I opened my eyes to see Charlie smiling down at me his beautiful blue-green eyes watching me lovingly. The slight stubble on his chin made him look more gorgeous than usual. I could feel his black leather jacket rubbing against my bare leg as I forcefully wrapped my arms around his neck. My animal needs were back. I couldn’t control myself. Charlie appeared to want it just as much as his hands slid to undo my pink spotted dressing gown. I was glad I had remembered to wear my new black silk nightwear. Charlie’s kisses became more urgent as he noticed them.

“You missed me then?” I teased as his hands caressed my waist.

“Just a bit,” Charlie replied kissing up my neck towards my lips. My whole body felt alive with every touch.

We must have finally gone to sleep in the early hours of the morning. I could just about make out the orange dawn as my eyes slipped into dreams.

I felt embarrassed that Charlie was up before me and making brunch when I awoke. He had travelled hours to get home then been attacked by some animal as soon as he got through the door last night. I should have been looking after him. He had to be tired.