Nøtteknekkeren (2 page)

The middle of the room was cleared for dancing, with the music being provided by a small band set up in the front of the room and hidden by pots of overgrown poinsettias. I couldn’t tell what they were playing, but a quick look showed me there was a harpsichord, a cellist, and some violinists. The music was light and cheery, and there were a few couples dancing what I guessed was a waltz.

An older, larger woman wearing a hooped skirt, which an entire nursery school could be hidden under, had cornered Rik halfway toward the buffet tables. Rik looked like he wanted to be anyplace but here, even as he nodded and pretended to be interested in what she was telling him. I wanted to laugh at Rik being trapped by a grandmother who looked like she was two seconds from pinching his cheeks. But even Rik had figured out he couldn’t be his usual rude self here.

Uncle Yvo steered me to the other side of the room, toward the Christmas tree, all the while nodding greetings at people he knew. And most of the people, for some weird reason, seemed happily surprised that I was with Uncle Yvo, from the glances shot my way as I tried to hide behind him. It was strange, and I didn’t see them acting like that for Rik. It was going to be something else Rik complained about when this holiday was over.

“Is this when I’m supposed to tell you I remember the room as being smaller?” I asked. “Because that would be a lie. This is bigger than I remember.”

Yvo laugh quietly. “A child’s memory can be… different… than what is real.”

“Is that why we stopped coming here all those years ago?” I asked. I studied the tree for a second before asking, “Something weird happened, didn’t it?”

I held my breath as my uncle looked up, frowning. “Not what you think,” Yvo said slowly. “But Rik decided it was better if you stopped celebrating the holiday with me when you recovered from the accident.”

“But you asked us this year,” I said quietly, glad my voice was steady. Not that I thought Uncle Yvo had molested me, or anything like that. But I never understood why we stopped coming here. “I’m sorry—”

“While your parents were alive, I loved having you here,” Yvo said quietly. “After the accident, Rik decided he wasn’t interested in being here.” Yvo paused. “He always thought my customs for the season were a bit ‘quaint.’ I abided by his wishes for a while, but I have changed my mind.”

“And now….”

“And now I want to have a nice Christmas with the two of you,” Yvo said. He looked over at Rik. “I think this might be good for you.”

“Rik’s given you an earful, then,” I said wryly.

My chest loosened. I didn’t really think something bad had happened to make Rik cut off our contact with the man so abruptly. It wasn’t like we had an abundance of relatives—just cousins we barely kept in contact with.

But then again, my last Christmas here was just a blur in my mind. I didn’t even know if they were real memories or just a patchwork of all the time I had spent here. I had talked a lot about that in therapy, not that it had done me any good. The therapy had started almost immediately after the accident, and for the first year, all the therapist had wanted to hear about was my memories of Christmas Eve here. Not how I felt. Not how I was dealing with my parents’ deaths or any of the other effects of the accident on my life, because I was missing a huge chunk of my life from the accident. It had been strange, and I had hated therapy for that reason. Because of that, I hadn’t recovered as much as I should have.

“Rik is a very solid man,” Yvo murmured, pulling me out of my funk.

I choked, wondering if he was poking fun at the fact that Rik had gained a lot of weight over the years, getting portly in his thirties. It was nothing like my muscled slimness from my more active lifestyle.

“He has a limited imagination,” Yvo continued. I heard a note of regret in his voice, oddly enough. Rik hadn’t been as close as I was to Uncle Yvo, but I was willing to bet it was Rik’s doing. I wondered if there was a way to subtly reassure Uncle Yvo it wasn’t his fault. “But then, that isn’t always a bad thing.”

“And I have too much,” I replied slowly.

Rik always told me that. Also that I should get out of my dead-end tech support job, move home, and a number of other cutting and hurtful things. The remarks peppered any conversation we had—and then Rik wondered why I didn’t want to live with him. Hearing all that day in and day out would kill what little self-esteem I had. I enjoyed my life, because it was mine. He didn’t control me, as much as he might want to.

A couple in their midforties stopped us as we walked to the tree. They were dressed in colorful outfits, the man’s suit looking almost military in its cut and style, but it was also a vivid colorful patchwork of red and green, from no military I could even imagine. The woman’s dress matched his colors, the skirt flaring out in countless layers of tulle from the high-cut Empire waist of her gown.

“Your nephew has returned,” the man said cheerfully, nodding at me.

“Nephews,” Yvo reminded him with a sharp smile. “This is Thijs.”

I wondered why people I didn’t know or remember were so excited to see me. It was weird and scary. Did this have something to do with my missing memories? Had I been popular here? Or were these people just really friendly, and Rik, being his usual
charming
self, had managed to annoy them? Rik could be magnetic, but I always heard the false notes in his charisma. I wondered if these people heard the same thing.

“We were just about to dance,” the woman said with a bright smile. “But I would like it better if I danced with you.”

“I’m sorry,” I stammered. “I don’t… know your name.”

I didn’t dance, either, since I didn’t feel comfortable doing so most of the time. I’d been told in college that I danced like a nerd, all flailing arms and legs, looking like I had stuck my finger in a light socket. I didn’t think this would be a modern dance, with the way everyone had dressed, but I knew I wouldn’t be graceful in a waltz or a tango either.

“My name is Harlequin Krijgsman,” she said, curtsying. “And this is my husband, Miles.”

“I need to talk to your uncle.” Miles smiled. “And it isn’t like I won’t get another chance to dance with her. Go and have fun with my wife.”

“But—” I protested.

“It’s a contra dance,” she assured him. “Just listen to the caller and watch what the others are doing. You’ll be fine.”

I hesitated, not wanting to look like an idiot in front of all these people.

Harlequin assured me, “No one’s going to care if you make any mistakes.”

I relaxed when she said that, and Harlequin shooed me to the head of the room, while a dozen or so couples lined up behind us. The music started again, something formal and measured. Harlequin smiled at me as the caller started the dance. What she hadn’t told me was that the instructions were all in German, a language I didn’t understand.

When it was over, I bowed to her and escorted Harlequin back to her husband.

“It was a dirty trick,” Miles scolded her.

Harlequin shrugged, smiling innocently. “He enjoyed himself, so there is no harm. And who doesn’t understand German?”

I opened my mouth to protest and then thought about it. In the beginning it had been awkward, and I had gone the wrong way several times. But everyone had been nice and encouraged me with smiles and whispered quick instructions, in English, thankfully. I’d had fun, once I relaxed. Then the musicians struck up a waltz, which caused Miles to claim his wife eagerly, swinging her out onto the dance floor enthusiastically. I smiled at the sight.

“They are a handsome couple,” Yvo said. “And you did have fun.”

“I didn’t step on anyone’s toes, so I count that as a win,” I said quietly. It had been fun, but that didn’t mean I was going to do it again soon. “And everyone was nice.”

“You like making an idiot of yourself,” Rik said mockingly. “Who ever said you could dance?”

Rik had managed to escape the woman who had cornered him. I noticed my brother had a drink in his hand—some sort of hard liquor, from the smell of it. I wondered if it was his first one. Rik drank a lot and Rik talked a lot, and he didn’t understand why I didn’t want to be around him when he drank. I had found out early that my brother was a nasty drunk, and I didn’t want to deal with it.

“No one,” I said coolly. “I was being polite to a lady who asked me to dance.”

It figured Rik would be an ass about my dancing. Any time he could, my brother would burst my bubble, just to see me react to his cutting words. I had hoped my brother would behave himself for an evening at least, but Rik being decent to me for once wasn’t going to be my Christmas present this year.

“It wasn’t like you would—” Rik started.

“I really don’t think you should finish that sentence,” I snapped. “My mind isn’t in the gutter. She asked for a dance. I danced with her.”

“And so I could dance with you too?” I heard a woman behind me ask. “And I assure you, my toes are up to the challenge.”

From the look on Rik’s face, the woman must certainly be beautiful. My brother was unsubtly eyeing her like she was his next meal. I swallowed the comment I wanted to make about Rik’s manners and turned around.

The lady
was
beautiful, with white skin that seemed to have a frosty shimmer. Her hair was black and arranged in a complicated bun high on her head. Her features were perfect in her heart-shaped face, with a patrician nose and light blue eyes. Those eyes were icily gazing at Rik as if he were a pile of waste she had just avoided stepping in. It didn’t discourage his leer.

She was dressed in a white gown, which glittered with crystals and made it look like she was covered in frost. The ice motif was echoed by the diamonds in her ears, at her throat, and peeping out of the curls of her bun. I didn’t even want to know what her gown cost, or if it was even possible to create something so beautiful without magic.

“Please call me Geflimmer.” She smiled, her eyes thawing as she looked at me.

“I can—” Rik started.

Geflimmer cut Rik off with a scornful flick of her eyes, and the temperature around us seemed to drop twenty degrees. I bit my lip and held out my hand, amused at the skillful way she had cut Rik off.

The music changed to something slower, statelier than what had been just playing before. I stepped out on the floor with her. “I’m going to let you lead,” I told her.

Geflimmer laughed. “A wise choice.”

She led us out onto the floor with a whirl of her skirts. They flared out around us both, and I briefly had the image of a snow squall before the two of us waltzed.

“Your brother is spoiled,” Geflimmer stated frostily.

“He—”

“Thinks that every woman must fall into his hand,” she continued icily. “He’s a fool to believe he can control everyone in his life.”

I bit my lip, concentrating on the steps of the dance, even if I didn’t know what dance this was. It was more formal than a waltz, slower, precise. I felt as if I was just there to show off her steps, to make her the center of attention. There were too many eyes on us as we danced, and I hated that. But I followed her lead, surrendering control to her.

Rik wanted to control me, which was why I lived where I was and I went to visit Rik. He didn’t come to my home. I didn’t want my brother in my sanctuary. That sounded childish, but I had a few too many memories of “accidentally” broken possessions for me to feel comfortable with Rik in my home.

Geflimmer just wanted to be the center of attention, and I was helping her with that. She wasn’t threatening like Rik, just very certain and commanding. And I didn’t think I was the only man here who would follow her orders willingly.

“You’re going to have to fight for what you want,” she continued. “Your brother thinks everything should fall easily into his hand. You know better.”

Geflimmer didn’t say anything else as we danced. I was having enough trouble following the steps, never mind trying to talk to this strange and terrifying woman.

When the music ended, I bowed low to her. Geflimmer’s curtsy was deep, more reserved and respectful than I expected. When I lifted my head from my bow, I finally noticed the whole room had been watching us dance, leaving us alone on the floor. It was amazing, but I knew it was Geflimmer they had been watching. She held out her hand, and I escorted her back to where my uncle was standing.

She was right. I had to fight for everything after I came out in college. Rik had acted like I had announced I was a leprous serial killer. He had been polite when other people were within earshot but nasty when they weren’t around. In the last few years, he had stopped caring what people thought and lately hadn’t bothered to hide his opinion of me. But that really wasn’t much different from the way he had acted before the accident. Declaring my sexuality had just given him more ammunition to use against me in his verbal attacks.

When we got back to Yvo, there was another woman standing next to him. Equally as beautiful as Geflimmer, she was softer, even with identical black hair and a porcelain doll face. Her dress was also white, but without the glittering hardness of Geflimmer’s. Her jewelry was pearls of every hue, with her skin echoing their luster. She was water to the other woman’s ice.

“And this is my sister, Tautropfen,” Geflimmer said, smiling at the other woman after she glanced at me.

I had the impression they had a great secret, and they were also amused by me. Rik looked annoyed that the women seemed more attracted to me than they were to him, but I didn’t think of them as sexual conquests. That was Rik’s relationship with women—he had sex with them, nothing more—and from the stories he had told me, he seemed to go through a woman a week.

“The Königin sisters have always been honored guests at this party,” Yvo scolded Rik, who was leering at them. “Do behave yourself around them.”

The sisters smiled coldly at Rik before Tautropfen turned to me, holding out a graceful hand. “May I have the honor of a dance with you?” she asked.

Rik muttered something under his breath, which I didn’t catch but the others seemed to have, from the glares they sent his way. It hadn’t been polite. Why was my brother being so crude? How did I get stuck with him for family? And didn’t any of these women realize I was gay?