Now Until Forever (16 page)

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Authors: Karen White-Owens

BOOK: Now Until Forever
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Helen asked, “Are you?”
“Yes.”
“What about Galen? You're completely over him?”
Shocked, Ryan turned to her sister. “He was my husband. I can't dismiss him like a high school date. I loved him. Galen will always have a place in my heart.”
“But you've moved on with Keir.”
Ryan opened her mouth to respond and then closed it, without saying a word. Had Keir taken Galen's place? She glanced out the window at the man. Ryan didn't have an answer.
She couldn't let Helen see her this way. “How's your family? What's going on with Larry, Andre, and Gee?”
“Honey.”
“No. Stop. I've moved on. Thank you for caring, but I can handle things now.”
Helen opened her mouth, but Ryan cut her off. “I mean it. This is my life. Let me live it my way. Just like you've always lived yours. It's my turn.”
Ryan turned away from the hurt in her sister's eyes. Helen always made Ryan feel like one of her children. Ryan had been married, and Helen still wanted to treat her like a five-year-old.
Everyone had to grow up, sooner or later. It was Ryan's turn. “I don't need you to hold my hand. Keir is my support system now.”
Chapter 23
Lips set in a straight, uncompromising line, Helen stared out the kitchen window, contemplating the Southhall family working together in the backyard. She turned to Ryan and stated in a dull, troubled voice, “Obviously, you don't need me anymore.”
“Stop that.” Ryan's heart went out to her sister. She understood how much Helen loved her. But it was time for her big sister to stop trying to run her life and protect her. Ryan reached out a hand to comfort her. “That's not true.”
Shaking her head, Helen sidestepped Ryan. “I've gotten a totally different impression.” Tears shimmered in her brown eyes. She turned on the heels of her loafers and marched out of the house, slamming the front door for good measure. The loud bang reverberated through the small brick house.
Guilt hammered at Ryan. Ryan hated seeing her sister suffer. After Galen died, Helen had remained at Ryan's side, helping her through funeral preparations and the dark period. Each year, Helen spent Galen's birthday and their anniversary with her younger sister. Ryan always felt grateful for her sister's support during that time.
She drew in a deep breath and let it out gradually. Now things were different. Keir and his family were in her life, and that added a new dimension. Ryan returned to the kitchen counter to continue her dinner preparation. There would be time enough after everyone left to think about her husband and his birthday.
Ryan glanced out the kitchen window, observing Keir, Adam, and Emily. A sad smile raced across her face and disappeared. Helen had succeeded in destroying the happy mood. Everything was different.
Minutes later, Keir entered the house. Silently, he stood inside the back door, watching her. Ryan heard the door open and close. She ignored his presence, choosing instead to work at the counter.
“Hey,” he said softly.
“How are things going?”
“We're almost done outside.”
“Good,” she replied.
“I saw your sister take off a minute ago,” he stated.
Ryan nodded. Her hand shook as she sprinkled chopped vegetables over the chunks of potatoes before mixing in relish, Miracle Whip, and mustard.
Moving farther into the room, he stopped directly behind her. “Everything work out?”
No. Nothing came together. My sister's pissed off, and I wouldn't be surprised if my dead husband haunts me for forgetting his birthday
. “Yeah. It's good.”
“You all right?” Keir's hands rested on her shoulders, gently massaging the tight muscles.
Tears were very close to the surface, and she fought them back with superhuman strength. She was far from all right and felt Keir sensed it. But Ryan refused to discuss or take a closer look at her feelings. Not yet. Not until she was alone.
The urge to lean against him and forget the events of the day overwhelmed Ryan. That option wasn't available to her. Keir needed an explanation to the whole situation, answers Ryan shied away from talking about. So, she offered him what she believed would appease him. “Sister stuff.”
“Are you sure? The kids can stay outside for a bit if you need to talk.”
“No. There's nothing to discuss.”
Keir ran his hands up and down her arms. He said in a caring and gentle tone, “You know, sometimes it helps to talk things out. Maybe get a different perspective on a problem. If that's what you need, I'm here for you.”
“Thanks.” She handed the bowl of potato salad to Keir. “Can you put this in the refrigerator?”
“Sure.” Instead of taking the bowl, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. Keir's erection pressed against her stomach. Her body responded, and an ache grew between her legs, slowly spreading liquid heat within her. Her body went stiff in his arms.
Slowly dropping his arms to his sides, he took a step away and did her bidding. “I need something to put the meat on. It's ready.”
Relieved by the change of subject, Ryan hurried to the cabinet and removed a platter. “I'll set the table.”
Leaning against the wall, he studied her, with a puzzled expression on his handsome face. He took the platter and started for the door. “I'll send Adam in to help.”
“That will be good.”
Fifteen minutes later, they sat down to dinner. Helen had rattled Ryan so much, she felt too anxious to respond properly to the Southhalls' queries. Adam and Emily's continual banter filled the awkward silences. She complimented the kids on preparing such a wonderful meal, although she barely ate more than a mouthful. During all of this, Keir studied her.
“Ryan,” Adam began timidly.
“Hmm?” said Ryan.
“Do you”—Adam fidgeted with his fork—“do you think you'd like to come to one of my baseball games?”
The anxious expression on Adam's face tugged at her heart. Ryan refused to disappoint him, although sitting on a wooden bench in the sun didn't thrill her. Smiling reassuringly, Ryan responded, “Sure. Just let me know.”
Once dinner ended, Keir rose from the table and directed, “Adam, clear the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher.”
“Okay, Dad,” Adam said as he picked up the water glasses and headed for the sink.
“Dad-dee, what do I do?” asked Emily.
“Pick up the silverware, and bring it to me,” said Keir.
“No. No. No. I can do this,” Ryan protested, reaching for the dinner plates. “You guys cooked.”
Keir ignored her, pulling out a chair and patting the cushion. “You invited us to dinner and prepared most of the food. The least we can do is clean up after ourselves. Have a seat. Enjoy the show. We'll take care of the rest.”
After Adam loaded the last item into the dishwasher, Keir shut it with a sharp snap. The kids flew out the kitchen door to the den. Seconds later, they were fighting over the television remote and deciding on videos.
“That's what having kids in the house will do to you. They zap all of your energy,” said Keir. His remark lacked the teasing note that normally accompanied this type of remark.
“Your kids are fine. I like having them around.”
“Do you? Are you sure?” Keir probed. “Because if they are a problem, I need to know.”
“They're good.”
Keeping a safe distance, Keir stood at the sink. His eyes searched hers for a clue to what was going on in her head. “You look worn out.”
Embarrassed by his accurate observation, she brushed a hand through her hair and admitted, “Little bit. I think the week just caught up with me. Since the shutdown, it's been really busy.” Boy, was that a lame excuse. But that was the only explanation she had available. She needed time to process everything, think about her husband, and get that part of her life in order.
“I'll tell you what. These two need to get home to their mother, and I've got a bit of work to finish tonight. We'll get out of your hair so that you can have an early night.”
“That's probably for the best.” Ryan rose from her chair and started for the door. Keir followed.
“Emily, Adam. Time to go,” Keir called from the living room. The kids hurried ahead of the couple. Keir and Ryan slowly strolled up to the front door. He kept a respectable amount of distance between them.
Emily hugged Ryan and said, “Thank you for dinner.”
“The dinner was delicious,” was Adam's comment.
A genuine smile formed on Ryan's face. Obviously, Keir had had them rehearse their lines. “You're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it.”
Keir stood awkwardly at the door. Slowly raising a hand to her face, he traced her jaw line with a tender finger and then kissed her gently on the mouth. “Get some rest, and I'll see you tomorrow.” Hurt flashed from Keir's eyes before he quickly hid it.
Once the door slammed after him, Ryan shut her eyes and rubbed her forehead. She couldn't help it; Ryan felt such disloyalty to her husband.
 
 
Keir was rounding a corner at the studio in search of Ryan when he heard the harsh note in Glo's voice above the noise and music of workmen and the camera crew. He took a step back, out of their visual range, but close enough to see and hear.
“Ryan,” Glo called, hurrying after the younger woman. “Set five needs to be prepared ASAP. The director wants to shoot an additional scene before the end of the day.”
Voice filled with exhaustion, Ryan faced her boss, with a cart filled with accent pieces. “Glo, I've only finished half of set two. Plus, I need to break down set four. Is there anyone else available to help?”
“No. We're stretched to the limit today. All I can say is get two finished ASAP, and then get your ass over to five.”
Concealed behind a wall, Keir listened to the exchange. The demanding note in Glo's voice begged him to step in. Although he'd promised Ryan he'd steer clear of interfering on her behalf, Glo's tone made him instinctively want to correct the situation. Only the certainty that Ryan would never speak to him again if he interceded held him back.
A flash of annoyance crossed her face before Ryan arranged her features in a calm mask. She started down the hall, with a dismissing wave of her hand. “Okay,” she called back to Glo.
Hands on his hips, Keir frowned. What in the hell was going on? Ryan had just rolled over and played dead. Since that fateful day when her sister paid a visit, all the fight had gone out of Ryan. It didn't matter what people said to her; she went along without uttering a word. Something was very wrong. Keir made a silent promise to find out the details and get to the bottom of the situation.
As he made his way down the corridor, the voices of actors, workmen, and crew faded. He gave Ryan ample time to make it to the set before following her into the room.
“Hi,” he said.
She glanced in his direction and stiffened before she visibly calmed down and resumed placing the decorative vases and plants in their proper place. “Hi. How are you?”
What the hell was going on? Lately, whenever Keir got near her, Ryan stiffened like she'd just encountered a rapist. “I'm good.”
The set was completely deserted except for him and Ryan. He moved closer and lifted a gold-rimmed black vase from her cart. “Where does this go?”
She pointed at a wooden curio loaded with framed smiling faces. “Second shelf between the parents' photos.”
He completed this task and asked, “So how have you been? I haven't seen or talked to you in days.”
“Good. Busy.”
“Everything going okay?”
“Mm-hmm,” she muttered, placing items around the room and then checking the sketch of the floor plan.
“How are things between you and Glo?”
“We make it work.”
With his back turned to her, Keir groaned softly. For the past week, their conversations consisted of work and inquiries about his kids. She avoided any discussions about herself or what was really troubling her.
“Emily and Adam want to know when they can see you again,” said Keir. “They informed me that they are now gourmet barbecue chefs, and you are just waiting for them to come over and cook for you.”
That brought a petite smile to her face. “Your kids are so funny.”
“Funny to you because you don't have to live with them.” Keir immediately regretted that comment. What if they did decide to live together? He didn't want her to believe or feel his kids were a burden.
Silently, the couple worked together for several minutes while Keir tried to decide how to get the information he needed. There must be a way to break down the barriers separating them. If she refused to confide in him, how could he help her?
Watching her out of the corner of his eye, Keir considered ways to get her to open up. Ryan needed a safe haven. A place where she felt comfortable to discuss things with him might help. Maybe dinner away from their day-to-day life might be the answer.
Clearing his throat, Keir approached Ryan. “You know, although I enjoyed having the kids, I really missed spending time alone with you.”
A spark of wariness clouded her brown eyes. She studied Keir but remained silent.
“How about a date night? Just you and me.” Smiling encouragingly, Keir added, “Dinner and dancing work for me. I'd love to hold you in my arms.”
Ryan took a step away from him. Her face contorted into a mask of conflicting emotions as she searched for the downside of this suggestion. “When?”
“Saturday.”
She nibbled on her bottom lip and then hedged. “I'm not sure that day will work for me. Let me check my schedule. I'll get back to you. Okay?”

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