NYC Angels: Tempting Nurse Scarlet (13 page)

“How do you think I’m doing?” she asked calmly. “Today I lost my second daughter. Today it became clear I am destined to spend the rest of my life taking care of other peoples’ babies, never to have one of my own, to live alone and be alone.” She grabbed a tissue from the box beside her and blotted at her eyes.

“You’re not alone,” he said, reaching for her hand which she moved away.

She looked up at him with red puffy eyes. “No. At this particular moment in time I am not alone. But in two minutes when you leave here to meet up with your parents and your daughter I’ll be alone, and the night after that and the night after that and the night after that.” She started to cry and Lewis’s entire body ached to hold her.

“Come home with me,” he offered. “Come be there when Jessie sees her new room for the first time.”
Let me take care of you
. “It’ll cheer you up.”

“Jessie’s
your
daughter,” she said. “I don’t belong there.”

“Of course you do.” He slid closer intending to put his arm around her and tell her how important she was to both him and Jessie.

But she pushed him away. “Don’t,” she snapped. “Don’t think you can come in here pretending to care about me,” she yelled. “You don’t get to turn it on and turn it off when it suits you. It’s over,” she screamed.
“This can’t happen again.” She threw his callous words back in his face.

“I didn’t mean—”

“Yes you did,” she sobbed. “I can’t handle this right now. I need you to leave.”

“But I want—”

“Don’t you get it?” she yelled. “I’m done caring about what you want. You used me—”

“I did not.”

She glared at him. “You hurt me, and having you here is making me feel worse, not better. Now get out,” she screamed wildly, throwing off the afghan and stomping to the door which she yanked open. “Get. Out.” Tears streamed down her cheeks.

Lewis stood. “Let me make you a cup of tea.” To calm her down so they could talk, so he could fix things between them.

“I don’t want tea,” she screamed. “And I don’t want you, in my apartment or anywhere near me.”

Her words slammed into his diaphragm, inhibiting his ability to draw in the air necessary to make speech possible.

“Please go,” she said, leaning her back against the door, looking exhausted and completely defeated. “You shouldn’t have come.”

Lewis didn’t agree, but rather than upset her further, he left.

A
BOUT HALF PAST
six the following Monday evening Scarlet sat in her office reviewing Joey’s chart, especially Deb’s notes regarding discharge readiness. Joey thrived under Michelle’s constant attention and was scheduled to go home tomorrow. In the past week Scarlet had managed to put aside her sorrow enough to be happy for Joey, and for Michelle and Peter. They’d fallen in love with Joey as quickly as Scarlet had, and she felt at peace with Joey going home with her family where she belonged.

Michelle promised to send pictures, which Scarlet would proudly hang up on the wall with all the other NICU graduates.

One of the unit secretaries came to her door. “I know you said you didn’t want to be bothered unless it was an emergency, but there’s a girl on the phone for you. She says her name is Jessie and she sounds upset.”

“Put her through,” Scarlet said and disengaged her Do Not Disturb button so she could answer the call. Come on. Come on. Had something happened to Jess? To Lewis? She tapped her pen on her desk blotter while she waited.

As soon as the phone rang Scarlet snatched up the receiver. “Hey, Jess. What’s wrong?”

“I got it,” Jess said.

“You got what?”

“
It
,” she said with emphasis. “I need stuff.”

“What language are you speaking, because I’m not following.”

“The cramping crimson curse.”

For the first time in days Scarlet smiled. “So if I’m deciphering this correctly, you got your period and are in need of some feminine supplies. Welcome to womanhood.”

“Please don’t talk like that. It makes me want to vomit.”

Scarlet’s smile grew. “Where are you?”

“In the bathroom.”

“Where’s your dad?”

“Outside of the bathroom yelling that dinner will be ready in fifteen minutes. How soon can you get here?”

The last place Scarlet wanted to go was to Lewis’s condo, to be reminded of what they’d shared. “You know you can talk to your dad,” she said. “I’m sure he’d—”

“Do not go there,” Jessie interrupted. “You told me if I ever needed you, and I need you.”

Truth be told, the place she wanted to go even less than Lewis’s condo was back to her apartment and the empty bedroom with pink walls and butterfly decals that’d been waiting for Joey—which is why she’d been putting off leaving the hospital tonight. Jessie needing her gave Scarlet an excuse to put it off for a little while longer. “I’ll swing by the drugstore, and assuming I can catch a cab, I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”

“Thank you,” Jessie said and disconnected the call.

Half an hour later Scarlet exited the elevator on Lewis’s
floor and tried to ignore the memory of them walking down this very corridor, hand in hand, so happy.

She reached his door and knocked.

Expecting Jessie to answer, she felt as shocked as Lewis looked when he opened the door.

“What are you doing here?” he asked softly.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” she said, holding up the drugstore bag. “Jessie called me.”

“Scarlet,” he said, his voice filled with emotion. “You could never bother me. You’re welcome here anytime.”

Yet he didn’t open the door enough to allow entry. “May I come in?”

“Yes. Of course.” He moved to the side and opened the door wider. “Please. Come in.”

Jessie stood in the living room.

“I got what you—”

“I lied,” Jessie said. “I didn’t…you know.” She walked over to Scarlet and took the bag from her hand. “But when I do, now I’ll be ready.”

“Why?” Scarlet asked.

Jessie moved to close the door to the hallway then she positioned herself in front of it as if trying to block Scarlet’s exit. “Because you two need to talk.”

“Jessie,” Lewis cautioned.

“I know. It was wrong, and I’m sorry.” She glanced back and forth between them before stopping on Scarlet. “Dad told me you both spent a lot of time together working on my room.”

Among other things. Hopefully the warmth on her face did not present itself as the bright red blush she feared.

“He really likes you as in more than a friend likes you,” Jessie said.

“That was supposed to be a private father daughter conversation,” Lewis interjected.

He’d told Jessie he really liked her?

Undeterred by Lewis’s scowl Jessie continued, “He wanted to know how I’d feel if he asked you out on a date.”

“That’s enough,” Lewis said.

No it wasn’t, not until Scarlet heard her answer. “What did you tell him?”

Jessie rested her back against the door and clasped her fingers together over her belly. “Before my mom died, we spent a lot of time talking. She said she had to cram years of motherly wisdom and advice into a few short weeks so I’d better be prepared to listen.” Jessie’s lips curved into a small smile at the memory. “I am totally covered on
it
,” she locked eyes with Scarlet, “dating and safe sex. So neither of you need to worry.”

Yeah right.

“She also told me that she’d always be my mom and no one could replace her in my heart. But that didn’t mean I shouldn’t make room in my heart for another mom someday, because there was plenty of room in there, and she didn’t mind sharing.”

Tears welled in Scarlet’s eyes. “I think I would have liked your mom.”

“I
know
she would have liked you,” Jessie said with tears in her eyes, too.

“We talked about this, honey,” Lewis said to Jess. “Scarlet and I dating does not mean we’re going to get married.”

Of course it didn’t, because to men like Lewis, dating equaled sex and marriage didn’t fit into the equation.

“I know that,” Jessie said, wiping at the corner of her eye. “Mom dated lots of guys. To be honest,” she
looked up at Lewis, “I kind of wondered if you even liked women anymore since you haven’t gone on a date for the whole nine months I’ve been living here.”

Scarlet had to laugh at the horrified expression on Lewis’s face.

Jessie turned back to Scarlet. “He admitted he did something stupid and hurt your feelings. He’s not sure if he asks you out if you’d even say yes. He says he’s waiting for the right moment, but waiting is making him cranky. So would you go out with him?”

“Don’t answer that,” Lewis said to Scarlet. Then he turned to Jessie, “That’s a conversation Scarlet and I will have in private.”

“I guess that’s my cue to leave. But before I go, just so we’re clear,” Jessie said. “Not to put pressure on the two of you or anything, but having Scarlet as my next mom would be totally awesome.” She walked over to give Scarlet a hug. “If I had a say,” she whispered. “You’d be my choice.”

“I love you, Jess,” Scarlet said, squeezing her tight. “No matter what happens between me and your dad, that will never change.”

“I’m glad,” Jess said. “Now,” she stepped out of Scarlet’s embrace. “I am going to disappear into my very own bedroom—which I love, love, love, by the way, and thank you thank you thank you for my purple wall—to let you adults talk.” She walked toward her bedroom.

When she was out of sight Lewis said, “I screwed up.”

Jessie called out, “He screws up a lot. But—”

“I don’t need any more help,” Lewis yelled to her.

“Shutting up now,” Jessie called back, her words followed by the slam of her door.

“I think that’s her favorite part of having a door,” Lewis said.

Scarlet smiled.

After an awkward pause they both said, “I’m sorry,” at the exact same time.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Lewis quickly added.

“I was awful to you last Monday. I dumped the brunt of my anger on you and you didn’t deserve it.” Doing so had made her feel even worse after he’d left. And she’d spent a good part of her week trying to figure out how to apologize.

He looked at her with such concern, such caring. “You had every right to be upset. After what I did, seeing my face made you feel worse. I understand.”

“But I appreciate the gesture. I really do.” It’d just taken a few days.

“Come sit down.” He put his hand at her low back to guide her to his black leather sofa, and Scarlet’s body came alive on contact, like it always did when he touched her. She sat and he sat beside her, taking her hand in his and resting both on his thigh. “I want to tell you what I should have said Sunday morning.”

“It’s okay. It’s over. I’d prefer to move on and not re-visit it.” Since she’d finally come to terms with the fact there couldn’t be more than friendship between them.

“You scare me,” he said.

She looked up at him. “How nice of you to share.” Since she was still a little shaky on the emotional stability front, she directed the conversation to a more neutral topic, “So did Jessie have fun in Lake George?”

Apparently Lewis would not be sidetracked. “You make me feel things and want things I’ve never felt or
wanted before, things that before meeting you I was convinced I’d never feel or want.”

Could he be any vaguer? “What kind of things?” she asked.

He stared into her eyes. “Long term things.”

Scarlet wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

“But I’d grown to care for you so much, so deeply in such a short amount of time. I didn’t believe it was real. How could it be? We’ve only known each other for a few weeks. It’s not normal to think about spending the rest of your life with someone after only a few weeks. Heck, for someone like me it’s unprecedented.”

He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it.

“Yet there I was,” he continued. “Lying in bed with you, picturing a long happy life of waking up with you by my side. But the longer I lay there, the more it seemed too good to be true, the more I convinced myself it had to be the circumstances that’d brought us together. I was grateful, and dare I admit maybe a little dependent on you for your help with Jessie. And it’d been so long since I’d been intimate with a woman.”

“I’m not sure I like where this is headed,” Scarlet admitted.

“My thoughts were all jumbled. Then you woke up and startled me and I have no idea why ‘It’s over. This can’t happen again,’ were the first words to fly out of my mouth but they did. Once they were out I couldn’t take them back because I wasn’t ready to commit to what asking you to stay would have meant.”

“Then I got mad and stormed off.”

“You had every right to. If I were you I’d have hit me.”

Scarlet smiled. “I’ll remember that for next time.”

“There won’t be a next time.” He brought her hand
up and pressed it to his heart. “What I should have told you when you woke up in my arms last Sunday morning is I see how smart and special you are. I appreciate all of your wonderful, caring qualities and I value you and your friendship more than any other woman out there.”

The fact that he’d remembered her speech to sooth a broken-hearted Jessie almost word for word touched Scarlet.

“You’re important to me,” he said. “I want to find a way to make us work, I want us to be together, but I need time,” he said. “I should have told you all that, but I didn’t. So now I’m asking for another chance. If we can take it slow, I promise to do my best to piss you off as little as possible, as long as you’re willing to cut me some slack here and there. I’m entering into new territory here.”

“New territory?”

“Exclusivity, a committed relationship, with you.”

Scarlet sat there, unsure what to say in response to his sincere words.

Lewis picked up on her uncertainty. “Unless that’s not what you want…” He released her hand.

“I care about you, I really do.” But she’d spent a lot of time thinking about her future lately, and she’d decided not to give up on her desire to have a baby either naturally or via adoption or IVF. “I don’t think we’re looking for the same things in a relationship. If I’m going to date a man exclusively, at this stage in my life, it’ll be with the intention of getting married and having babies and a house with a yard where I can plant flowers. I want a big family filled with love.” It’s what she’d dreamed of for so long and time was running out. “If those things aren’t part of your plans for the future,”
and she was pretty sure they weren’t, “I think we’re better off as friends.”

“For you, I’m open to anything. Everything,” Lewis said. “You’re the only woman I’d consider for my bride. But how about we date for a while to make sure it’s the right choice for both of us. If we decide it is, you want babies, I’ll give you babies. You want a house with a yard, we’ll find one. You want a big family, for you I’ll accept mom’s standing invitation for weekly Sunday dinner.”

For the first time since losing Joey, Scarlet felt a return of hope for a happy future. “I’d like that.”

“Regardless of what happens, as of today you and Jessie and I are family. When you’re alone in your apartment, you’ll never be completely alone because we’re only a phone call away. You need company, you come here, it’s getting late, you sleepover.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Not with Jessie around.

“In the loft,” he said. “After you help me pick out a big comfortable futon to put up there.”

So sweet. “Thank you.”

He leaned in and whispered, “But after Jessie goes to bed we can…” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“I’d like that, too,” she whispered back.

“So where do you want to go on our first official date as a couple?” he asked. “To seal the deal, so to speak.”

Scarlet thought for a moment. “How about we take Jessie to see her first Broadway play?”

He sat back and looked at her. “You want to include Jessie on our date?”

“Of course I do,” she said. “We’re a family.” She loved the way that sounded, the way it felt. To be part
of a family. Her family. She smiled and moved in close. “But afterwards I want you all to myself.”

Lewis pulled her onto his lap. “And you can have me all night long.” He kissed her.

Jessie picked that moment to call out. “Are you guys almost done? Can I come out now?”

Scarlet jumped to her own spot on the couch and dried her lips on her wrist. Lewis adjusted his pants and crossed one leg over the other. “Yes,” they both answered together.

“Good,” Jessie said, coming back into the living room. “Because I just remembered I have a question.” She walked over to the coat closet, opened the door, and pointed at the coats piled on the sleeping bag on the floor topped off by the broken metal rod. “What the heck happened in there?”