Of Guilt and Innocence (13 page)

Jim stood quietly, fighting his own emotions. He was close to losing his composure but was managing to keep it together. He knew he had to get out of the house. He needed to leave, to be alone. He feared that hearing a man who had just lost his granddaughter, who watched as his daughter lay on her own hardwood floor weeping uncontrollably, tell him that he felt badly for the emotions he knew he was feeling would push him over the edge.  

Tom was able to gain enough composure to pull himself away from his brother and turn back toward Jim. Still visibly crying, he asked the obvious question of how. How did she die? He spoke in a low voice, very soft, as if he could muster no higher volume. Lisa continued crying and did not look up from her location on the floor. Jim wasn't sure if she had heard her husband ask the question and he really did not want to have to repeat the answer, so he paused a moment before responding. Lisa's father re-entered the room and awaited Jim's response. Jim cleared his throat and regrouped. He was composed again; he was prepared to answer the questions he knew were coming in a factual, straightforward way.

“She was strangled.” Tom gasped and put both hands on top of his head. Mark put his head down and cried. Lisa's father began breathing heavily as he leaned against the wall. His breathing was noticeable, loud, and deliberate. Jim looked at him in fear he was having a heart attack. “Are you OK, sir?” He asked, afraid the family would have another tragedy to deal with. Just then Lisa's father spun around and punched a fist sized hole in the drywall while letting out a grunt. He then placed both hands on either side of the hole he had just made and hung his head, catching his breath.  

If Lisa had not heard Tom's question, she apparently heard the answer. She vomited all over the wood flooring where she knelt on her hands and knees. Tom started again, trying to ignore his wife's cries.

“Where, uh . . . did you find her?”  

“She was found along the bank of a canal not too far from here, the one along the Broward County line.” Jim said very matter of factly. Tom nodded as he wept as if to say he understood.

John, still breathing heavily, had turned away from the wall and again approached Jim. This time, however, he seemed less than cordial.

“Who did this?” he shouted. “Are you going to catch him? This sonofabitch, this sick bastard, are you going to catch him?” John's eyes were on fire as he shouted at Jim. The comfort he tried to bestow on Jim earlier was gone; now he wanted answers.

“We will get him, I can assure you. We won't stop until we do. I want this guy just as bad as you do, trust me.” Normally had anyone talked to Jim like that he would have been incensed, however, he understood the circumstances and he spoke in a very calm and reassuring tone. John nodded his head in acknowledgement and walked back in to the kitchen.    

“What happens now? I mean . . . when can we . . . get her or . . . I'm sorry,” Tom asked through his tears, not acknowledging his father-in-law's short tirade.   

“I know this is hard, folks, and I want to give you some space, so I'm just going to tell you what we know as opposed to making you ask me. I don't mean to sound cruel or callus, but I'm just going to tell you everything at once. Your daughter was abducted by someone, we don't know who, and then she was most likely laid along the canal after she passed. We don't know much else at this point, but she was completely clothed when she was found if that's any consolation. A fisherman found her about two hours ago and called us.”

He paused, then proceeded, “she will have to have an autopsy done before you can have her taken to a funeral home.” He paused again. He knew that was news people don't generally think of or like to hear, and this was no exception. Tom closed his eyes hard. “Someone will be in touch when that has been completed. Unfortunately, her body was found in Broward County, which means it was taken to the Broward County Medical Examiner's Office in Ft. Lauderdale. We will need you to come identify the body as hers.”  

“Tonight? Is that really necessary right now? I mean, jeez,” Mark shouted at Jim.

“No, it doesn't have to be tonight. It can be tomorrow morning, and we don't need both parents, only one will do, it's up to you.” Jim responded very calmly. Lisa stopped crying and stood up. She approached Jim and stood within inches of him. She looked up at him as he looked down at her, not sure what had caused her sudden composure and what was coming next.

“So, you mean, there's a chance this isn't her? I mean, if you knew it was her, you wouldn't need us to identify her. We could go there and it could not be her. Or we could just not go there at all and--”

“I'm sorry,” Jim interrupted, “but from the picture you gave us we are certain it's her. It's a formality really. I didn't mean to mislead you.”

Lisa erupted in to tears again.

After a few more reassuring words, Jim and Dan made their way out the front door and to their cars. They both agreed it was time to head home and that they would see each other in the morning. Jim was quick to pull away from the house. The death notification was just as difficult as seeing a little girl robbed of life. He began driving home but, although he could escape the Wooten home, he could not escape his thoughts. He couldn't get past John wishing him his condolences. It was heartbreaking to think about. He could feel tears welling up in his eyes. For the first time he wept for Ashley. He wept for her family. And then he inevitably placed himself in their position and wept for his daughters. He longed to get home to them, to touch their skin, to kiss them, to hug them, to tell them he loved them and to make sure they were real.  

He pulled into his driveway and sat in the car for a minute to calm himself down. He took several deep breaths and thought of things that he hoped would calm him. Baseball. Who were the Marlins playing tonight? They had been rolling as of late; of course he hadn't seen a game in two days. He seemed calmer now, relaxed enough to go into his home and spend some time with his family. As he walked through the front door he saw his oldest daughter, Lindsay, lying on her stomach on the living room floor, both hands under her chin, elbows on the rug, watching television.

“Hi, Daddy,” she said without looking up.

“Hi, baby,” he said as he looked down at her lovingly.

He stopped and continued his gaze for a moment. His eyes displayed a mix of love and sadness, his lips pursed together. Jill had walked around the corner from the kitchen and stopped as she saw the look on her husband's face. She knew. She hadn't watched the news all night, even though she had tried to remind herself to. She had no idea about the child her husband had helped save and the child he discovered he could not. When she saw his face she realized the latter had occurred. Jim looked up at her and followed her back into the kitchen. As soon as they were out of view of Lindsay she gave him a spirited embrace.

“I'm so sorry. You did what you could,” she said even though he had yet to confirm what she believed she knew.

Jim shrugged. “Thanks for letting the girls stay up so I could see them, I needed it. It's been a crazy day. I've never had a day like this before. Hope I never do again.” Jim proceeded to tell Jill everything that had happened since the time he walked out of the house earlier that morning, the good and the bad.

Jill cried tears of joy and pride as he told her about Heather. She cried tears of sadness when he told her about discovering Ashley's body and delivering the news to her family.  

“You're a hero. You're a strong man. You saved a little girl's life today and now you'll fight for another little girl who was taken from her family. I love you.” She hugged him again. Just then Amy wandered into the kitchen looking for a snack. It didn't take her long to realize her mommy and daddy were upset and she began asking questions as to why.

Jim reached down and scooped her up into his arms.  “I just missed you so much today it made me sad,” he said as he pulled her close. She seemed to accept this answer and laid her head on his shoulder. He closed his eyes as he held her and, though he wasn't a religious man, he said a little prayer thanking God for the safety of his family.

Then, as he held her close, a new emotion overcame him. To this point he had only felt sorrow, but now he was suddenly overcome with rage. He could feel anger building inside him. Who could hurt an innocent child like that? He couldn't imagine the type of person that would do such a thing to a beautiful child, much like the one he was holding in his arms and treasured more than anything.

He put Amy down and walked back toward the front door and opened a door next to it, which led into his garage. He shut the door behind him and flipped on the light. His garage was cluttered with various tools and lawn care items. It also housed one of the family's two cars and a washing machine and dryer. Jim placed both hands on the washing machine and leaned forward, hanging his head. His breathing became quicker and quicker through his nostrils as his anger began taking over.

As strange as it sounded, he hadn't really concentrated on the person who had taken Ashley up to that point. Obviously, all the work he had done up so far was trying to discover the person's identity, and he knew he would be dealing with someone he'd despise, but his main goal had been to find Ashley, safe, and bring her back to her family. Now that he would not have the chance to do that he wanted the person responsible for her kidnapping and murder to pay for what he had done. He wanted the person responsible to be punished, severely. In this moment he wanted it badly. He wanted to inflict pain on this person, this animal.  

A hatred began brewing more so than he had felt before. He hated this person, this ghost he was now chasing, not just for taking the life of an innocent child and ruining a family, but for how this person had affected him in doing so. He would never get the image of Ashley's body lying on the grass by the water out of his head. The image of her neck, red and indented by the cause of her demise. He turned and stood erect. He desperately searched for something to punch. He needed to somehow release this anger. He raised his right fist and took aim at the wall.  

“Don't you dare!” Jill shrieked at him as she burst through the door. He turned and looked at her; his eyes still radiated hatred and anger. She quickly shut the door behind her and ran to hug him. He lowered his fist and closed his eyes, hugging her back.  

 

Jim received a call around seven the following morning from Tom's brother, Mark. Tom and Lisa were ready to identify the body and wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. Jim and Dan met the Wootens, including Mark, in front of the Broward County Medical Examiner's building at eight a.m. Tom and Lisa had gotten no sleep all night and Jim had gotten only slightly more than that. Both Tom and Lisa had red, puffy eyes as if they had not stopped crying since the detectives had seen them last. They seemed absent, as if they were just there physically, nothing more. Mark had slept on the couch last night, and planned on doing so all week. His wife and kids were going to come by and bring dinner later that evening. He had cleared it with his boss to miss at least a week of work, if not longer.  

Mark and Tom had always had a good relationship growing up, maintaining it throughout their lives. Despite Tom's successes and Mark's struggles, Mark never resented his brother; in fact, he looked up to Tom. But now Mark was the one being called upon to be stable. He was the family head now, he was making the decisions Tom and Lisa needed to make. He was taking care of them both with whatever they needed to make them feel slightly better or less encumbered. He was strong while they were paralyzed with sorrow. But inside he was hurting, too.  

He had lost a niece, a little girl he had known and loved since her birth. His children had lost a cousin and he knew he would have to tell them later that day, which agonized him. Mark felt like he owed this to Tom; he felt like now it was his time to step up, to be the brother that Tom had always been to him. It was important to him. He had rarely seen Tom upset before and never to the extent he was now. As much as he dismissed the thought that seeing his brother in such a state was affecting him the most, it was probably true.  

Lisa's parents had gone home about two hours after Jim had broken the news of Ashley's death. Lisa's father ended up in the emergency room at three a.m. after breaking his hand from that punch to the wall. A boxer's fracture of the knuckle area. Nevertheless, they were planning on coming back later that day. Lisa's sister had also made arrangements to be off of work and would check in on them at some point. Tom and Mark's parents had been told the horrifying news over the phone by Mark and they had planned to arrive at the Wooten home that day as well. An insulated layer was forming around the family, but Lisa and Tom couldn't really appreciate it yet.  

“This is going to be difficult,” Dan said, speaking up before Jim had a chance to. “Take as much or as little time as you like. You will be on one side of a window. Your daughter will be on the other. When you're ready, I will tap on the glass and the shades will go up. You will see her. You don't have to say a word, a nod is good enough. Unfortunately, you won't be able to be on the same side of the window as she is, but you will have time to see her and touch her when she arrives at the funeral home.” Dan placed his hand on Tom's shoulder. “Let's go,” he said and walked into the building.

Finally, the group arrived at the window. The shades were drawn. Tom and Lisa stood before it, Tom with his arm around Lisa's waist. Lisa had begun crying again as Dan spoke but she tried to compose herself as they reached their destination. Dan stood to the right of them against the glass. He stared at Tom and Lisa, waiting for the signal. Jim stood behind Dan, also keeping a watchful eye on the Wootens so he could be prepared for what followed.