Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan Book 2) (5 page)

I decided to just sit on the information while I raided the rest of Logan’s apartment. I searched every nook and cranny, opened every box and looked through every drawer, but I found nothing. It was late afternoon by the time I was finished carefully putting everything back in its place after ransacking his apartment, and I was exhausted, both emotionally and physically. When my phone beeped and I saw Logan’s text, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Hi, babe. I’m leaving work early because I miss you. I’ll pick up dinner. Any requests?

The latter emotion won and I felt tears streaming down my face. It was the first time I had allowed myself to cry since finding Kristina’s texts. What the hell was happening? I felt like I was going to go crazy from not knowing the truth. I was tempted to just lay everything out there and demand that Logan to tell me the truth. But the thought of what that truth might be scared me too much.

I quickly texted a reply, glad that he hadn’t called since there was no way to hide what a blubbering mess I was.

Anything’s good. See you soon.

I let myself cry, to mourn the loss of everything I had thought we had shared, and then determinedly wiped the tears from my face. I didn’t want Logan to see how upset I was when he came home because I still wasn’t sure how I was going to approach the situation.

By the time Logan came home, my face was streak free and I was able to muster up a smile.

“Hope you’re in the mood for Chinese,” he said, after he had kissed me hello and set the bags on the table.

“I’m always in the mood for Chinese,” I replied with a smile. “I’ve never turned down a Kung Pao anything in my life.”

I was going to pretend tonight. I was going to pretend that everything was okay, and make myself believe it. I would decide tomorrow what to do with everything I had found out, but tonight Logan loved me, and only me. Tonight there was no Kristina and no betrayal, no pictures of Logan tenderly looking at Kristina burned into my brain. Tonight it was just me and Logan, and I pushed everything else out of my mind.

We had a leisurely dinner in front of the TV, although we mostly ignored the news channel that hummed in the background. After we finished eating, we relaxed on the couch and I sighed in contentment, cradled in Logan’s arms. I refused to let any errant thought ruin this moment.

“Did you get a lot of writing done today?” Logan asked, as he played with my hair, rubbing it between his thumb and forefinger. Despite my determination to keep my mind off my troubles, I tensed at his question. I had spent the day raiding his privacy, not writing.

“A fair amount,” I lied. “I still have a ways to go.” I quickly changed the subject before he could ask any more questions. “What about you? How was work?”

“Nothing too exciting. I won’t bore you with the details.” Logan absentmindedly twirled a lock of my hair around his finger. “Do you remember me telling you about my friend Mack from law school? The one who lives in L.A.?”

What in the actual fuck. Could he read my mind? I was glad that I was leaning back against him so he couldn’t see my face, because there was no way I could hide my reaction. I paused before answering, trying to make sure my voice was steady when I spoke.

“Yeah,” I answered, as casually as I could. “What about him?”

“We touched base while I was in L.A. and he actually came to see me at the hospital because he found out about my accident from one of my colleagues. He’s coming out here for work next week, so he called me today to make plans to hang out. Of course, I’d love for you to meet him. I thought we could all go out to dinner one night.”

Was this some sort of cosmic joke? I wondered if somehow Logan knew that I had snooped and he was testing me. But, apart from having his apartment rigged with cameras, there was no way he could know. This just had to be a crazy coincidence. It was also an opportunity. I could ask Mack face to face whether Logan was screwing around with Kristina, and it would be much harder for Mack to lie in person than on the phone.

“Sure, that sounds like fun.”

“Speaking of fun…” Logan’s hands slid down my arms and slipped under my shirt, stroking my stomach. I tensed reflexively, feeling on guard with him for the first time in a long while. He obviously felt my reaction because his hands stilled.

“What’s wrong?” he asked softly, and despite my fears of Logan’s infidelity, I still felt a shiver run down my spine as his lips brushed against my ear when he spoke. Maybe physical pleasure could blot out all the pain of today’s revelations. I was at least willing to try.

“Nothing,” I whispered, slipping my hands under my shirt and covering his hands with mine. I guided them higher to cover my breasts. My nipples instantly hardened under the warmth of his hands, even through the barrier of my bra. “I need you to fuck me hard tonight.”

Logan gripped the cups of my bra and pulled them down, freeing my breasts which were already responding in anticipation of what was to come. I caught my breath when he grabbed my nipples and twisted them between his thumb and forefinger. Pleasure, heightened by an edge of pain, shot through me and I whimpered as I arched my back, asking for more.

“Get up and take your clothes off,” he rasped, his voice thick with desire. “I want to see my slut’s body that belongs to me.”

We shifted into our own little world as raw desire propelled us into a space that seemed almost foreign in our everyday lives. Sure, there were times when we had sex and it was just vanilla, but those instances were few and far between. Our norm was Logan using me as his sexual plaything and me loving it. Tonight I was grateful for it, because I was able to lose myself in it and push everything else out of my mind.

I stood up and faced Logan on the couch. His normally brilliant blue eyes were dark with desire as he watched me with a predator-like gaze. I gripped the bottom of my shirt and lifted it up, only breaking eye contact for a brief second when I pulled it over my head. I shimmied out of my pants so that I was standing there in only a bra and panties. Before I could continue to undress, Logan stood up abruptly. I stared at him as he unbuckled his belt and pulled it out of the loops of his pants. Instead of dropping it onto the floor and continuing to undress, he looped it around his hand, all the while never breaking eye contact with me. I felt myself start to breathe heavily as anticipation mounted. Logan had never used a belt on me before, but I had a pretty good idea of where he was going.

“Did I tell you to stop?” he asked, his voice guttural. “You’re not naked yet.”

He sat back down and continued to watch me. My gaze dropped down to his hand with the belt, mesmerized by the way his thumb stroked against the hard leather. I was still watching his hand as I reached behind me and unclasped my bra, letting it drop to the floor. I hooked my thumbs under the waistband of my panties and pulled them down, stepping out of them.

“Kneel in front of me.”

I obeyed Logan’s command as my eyes raised to his. I could see the desire on his face and it made me want to please him even more.

“Please,” I whispered.

Logan raised an eyebrow. “Please, what? What do you want?”

“Use the belt on me.”

He smiled darkly, his eyes glittering as he studied me. “We’ll see if you still feel the same way after I’m done with you.”

Logan unwound the belt from his hand and then looped it in half. He took the curved edge and stroked it against my collarbone, making goosebumps appear. The hard, impersonal leather was somehow one of the most erotic things I had ever felt against my skin. My breath caught as Logan lowered it, dragging it between my breasts which were heavy with arousal. I gasped when the belt ran over my hard nipples, catching them against its edge. My head tipped back and I moaned as Logan ran the edge of the belt back and forth against one of my nipples, sending shockwaves of pleasure down my body.

“Look at you, getting excited about being touched with a belt. You must really be a slut.”

“Yes,” I whimpered as I arched my body forward, feeling how wet my pussy was getting with each pass of the belt against my nipple. I felt like my body was on fire and we had barely gotten started. “Please use me as a slut. I deserve to be used.”

I gasped when I felt the leather of the belt crack against my nipple. It wasn’t an overly hard blow, but the suddenness of it was shocking, yet highly arousing, and I could feel myself getting even wetter. I held my breath in anticipation when Logan moved the belt to my other nipple, teasing it. I knew what was coming and I moaned loudly when the belt came down on that nipple with a firm smack. Logan alternated between my breasts, keeping the rhythm of first caressing my taut nipples with his belt before bringing it down firmly to abuse them.

“Do you like that?” His voice was low, his expression intense.

I looked down at my breasts which were reddened by the belt and warm from a combination of arousal and the force of his lashes. Seeing the physical evidence of Logan using me made me even more excited.

“Yes,” I answered breathlessly. “I love being used like a whore. I deserve everything you do to me.”

I saw a self-satisfied expression settle on his face as he got up from the couch. “Then you’ll be happy to know that this is going to be a long night for you. Sit on the couch.”

I sat down on the spot he had vacated as he towered over me.

“Spread your legs.”

I obeyed him, knowing that it was obvious how aroused I was. I was so turned on that my inner thighs glistened with my wetness. I couldn’t suppress a whimper when he trailed the belt between my legs, nudging it against my already engorged clit before moving it down to stroke my pussy. I widened my legs even more as he continued to stroke the belt up and down my folds, always pausing to push it against my clit. I felt out of control as I bucked my hips up, tension building in my lower body.

Logan raised the belt so that I could see it. The parts that he had stroked me with were darker, soaked with my wetness.

“Look at what you’ve done. You’ve ruined my belt. What should I do about that?” Logan looked down at me and I could see by his expression that he was as aroused as I was.

I was almost panting at this point. I felt mindless with desire as I opened my legs as far as possible. “Whip me,” I whimpered, oblivious to everything but pure sensation. “Whip my pussy. Please. Punish your slut.”

Less than a second passed from my plea before the belt came down with force, smacking me between my legs. My pussy was already hot and engorged from being aroused, but now it felt like it was on fire. Yet the words still came out of me, unbidden. “Harder. Please.”

When the belt came down again, I almost screamed from both pleasure and pain. I was so aroused I could feel the wetness trickling down my thighs. The belt came down three more times and then I finally did scream as my climax shook my body violently. Wave after wave of pleasure undulated through me, the orgasm I experienced unlike any I had ever had, even with Logan. It felt like an out-of-body experience, the intensity of it almost too much to handle.

After the last shudder had left me, my body fell limp against the couch, and I felt boneless as I lay there with my eyes closed. The last thing I expected was to feel Logan’s mouth on me, his lips softly kissing me between my legs, almost in apology. I looked up to see him watching me as he ran his tongue along my folds, stopping on my clit which was still sensitive from my orgasm.

“Logan,” I whispered, not really sure whether I was trying to tell him something or simply just saying his name.

“Shh,” he soothed softly. “I need to taste you.”

My head fell back on the couch and I let myself relax, enjoying the feeling of Logan’s mouth on me. But soon my relaxation vanished as he expertly used his lips and tongue to stir me again. I would have thought it was impossible to climax again after what I had just experienced, but I felt the stirrings of desire awaken. Logan’s mouth on me seemed even more erotic than usual, since my pussy felt like it was on fire after the belt.

I gripped Logan’s shoulders, unsure if I could take more pleasure. Logan looked at me, seeming to understand my intention.

“This is for me, Maddie,” he said, his voice raspy. He paused as he ran the tip of his tongue up between my folds until he stopped at my engorged clit. He took it into his mouth and sucked hard, making me cry out. “I need to smell you and taste you. I need to feel you quiver beneath my mouth.”

I was lost again as he ruthlessly used his mouth to take me to the edge. I gripped the couch when he first thrust one, then two fingers inside me, twisting them in and out, mimicking what I knew he would demand later. What I would give him with all my heart and beg him to take more. His mouth never stopped working on my clit, and the combination was too much as I lost myself to another orgasm.

When I was finally able to raise my head again, I opened my eyes and looked at him. Pure male satisfaction radiated from him, but as my gaze lowered to his pants, I could also see how hard and aroused he was.

“Wow, that was great, but now I’m exhausted. Ready to go to bed? I bet I’ll be asleep before my head hits the pillow.” I looked at him innocently.

Logan grinned, a devilish look in his eye. “There’ll be a lot more begging before the night’s over. And I’m betting that it’ll all be coming from you.”

I laughed, but my amusement quickly vanished as he picked me up and strode into the bedroom. He used my body in ways that, in the morning, would make me sore in places I never knew existed, but I loved every minute of it. As long as I kept my mind on the physical pleasure, I could keep my fear about losing Logan at bay, at least for tonight.