Off Her Rockers (Loving All Wrong #3.5) (11 page)

It was apparent, however, that just the same as I’ve turned Davian into an asshole, I’ve turned this kindhearted, kitten-saving, charity lover into a smirking, Alina-hating bitch.

“How ironic to find you here,
Alina
.”

Feet planted, I bit the insides of my cheeks and said nothing. However, her acknowledgment served to alert the rest of the rockers of our presence, because Leo instantly distanced himself from the woman who was hanging off him, at the same time Tex dropped the Saskia lookalike to her feet.

As all eyes swung to us, Danni’s fingers sank even deeper into my flesh. While Leo and Tex stared, Zach and Styro jogged up to me with rowdy greetings. All I afforded them was a nod of the head. Until things got super awkward and they all started moving toward the big steel door.

As Tex moved by me, I sliced him a disappointed shake of my head, and, miracle of all miracles, he didn’t glare back. The scum of the earth actually looked contrite. Was I supposed to care?
Oh please
.

Leo was doing his best to give his woman a wide berth, but she wasn’t getting the hint. She clung to him as if she was in sinking sand and he was her only opportunity for solid ground. He tried to go straight ahead behind Tex, but then stopped and came in front of me, which meant the hard-to-let-loose groupie ended up in front of Danni.

“Beautiful as always, Alina.” Leaning in, he brushed a kiss to my cheek and surreptitiously whispered, “Tell him I’m sorry.
Please
.” Moving on, he joined the others at the steel door.

Bzzzzzzt
! Someone pressed a buzzer somewhere, and the door clanged open.

Jessica dragged my attention back to her with, “So, are you happy, Alina dearest?”

“Where’s Xavi?”

A sexy smile slipped onto her red-painted lips as her gaze drifted upward, to the top floor, to the room with the lights on. “Upstairs. Waiting for me.”
JingleJingleJingle
went Xavier’s keys around her finger. “You took what was mine. I took what was yours. Now I’m reaping the fruits of your labor. A Xavi who wants to
settle down
. I never thought it was possible. Thank you, Alina.
Thank you
. ”

“Choke on your gloat, Jess,” I bit. “The bar’s named after
me
.”

Tossing her head back, Jessica laughed as if this was the funniest thing in the world. “Oh, silly girl. This entire place is in remembrance of the
dead
. It was your idea, remember? So that’s all that sign is. A
headstone
. Don’t flatter yourself.”

Damn. Bitchy Jessica was, well, a
bitch.
To the nth degree. “You’re real cocky for someone who was a backup plan.”

Again, she laughed in my face. “Wrong again. You were a
tryout
. I was the real deal. The one who
wasn’t
available.” Cocking her head to the side, she asked in a condescendingly quiet voice, “How many times has he told you he loves you, Alina?”

Never
. But I didn’t voice that truth out loud. Though I believe her question was rhetorical; she already knew the answer.

Rounding us, her shoulders clipped me as she said mockingly, “That’s what I thought.”

Bzzzzzzzzt! Click. Clank. Clang!

“Holy shit,” whispered Danni. “What happened to L.A.’s sweetheart?”

My response was a breath, not even close to a whisper. “I killed her.”

“Can we get out of here now?” he urged. “I think there were
a lot
of deaths here tonight. And all I want to do right now is find a tomb and bury my pathetic self in it.”

“He said to tell you he’s sorry.”

Danni punched me hard on the arm and I yelped. “Ow! What did you do that for?!”

“For passing on that sorry ass apology. I thought I was your friend!”

Groaning, I rubbed the stinging spot where he’d punched me. “You’re being irrational, Danni. The guy is still in the closet. He has to keep up appearances. You’re not around to see when his band members are giving him shit. They suspect him, and they tease him. He’s under pressure.”

“Hang on, whose side are you on here?”

Walking over to the big steel door, I searched for the buzzer. Found it, pressed it.
Bzzzzzzzzt
! “I’m on Love’s side. Leo cares for you, and I’m not gonna let you ruin a good thing because you can’t get over some floozy on his arm. She’s a
prop
, Danni. That’s all.”

Click. Clank. Clang
! The steel door swung open and a tree-tall black man stared down at me expectantly.

“Um, I want to—”

“Membership card,” boomed Tree Man. “Lemme see it.”

“I’m sorry?”

“This is a member’s only joint. Card. Lemme see it.”

“I don’t have one, but I know the—”

“If you aren’t a member, don’t ring the damn buzzer.”

Slam! Clink. Clank
.

Door to my face. Locked out of a bar named after me.

Stunned, shocked, shamefaced, I slowly rotated from the door and stared at Danni.

He had his arms crossed over his broad chest. “
Now
can we go?”

Jabbing a thumb over my shoulder, I asked, “Did that really just happen?”

A nod. “Yes, honey. It really happened.”

I looked at him. He looked at me. Before we both burst out laughing.

We laughed. For a long time. Doubled over, stomach-clutching, hiccups-inducing laughing.

“Oh, God, I think I’ve had enough embarrassment for one night. Let’s get shitfaced so we don’t have to remember any of this tomorrow…or ever.”

“I’ll drink to that!”

We crashed into SiTo Night Club and set about getting shitfaced.

I rented a VIP booth and we drank and we laughed and we danced. The night had started out with Danni attempting to get me out of my heartbroken funk, but here we were,
both
of us drinking to forget.

I lost count of how many drinks I imbibed, but I knew for sure that I’d hurtled over the “responsible” limit when things began looking a little too bright and colorful, the world began to feel a little too safe, and my heart went a little too fearless.

As Danni and I danced and jumped barefooted on the VIP banquettes, shouting at the top of our lungs to
Chandelier
by Sia, the noise level in the club skyrocketed and the deejay began chatting into the mike a lot more. I noticed some shuffling and commotion downstairs—usually a sign that a celebrity was in the building. Too drunk to care who it was, I kept on dancing and singing.

Danni held up three fingers at me—at least, I thought it was three—slid down on the banquette and began texting on his Smartphone. I continued partying without him.

Minutes later, he stood and slipped on his loafers. As I was still standing high on the banquette, he came in front of me and looked up. Over the music, he said, “Leo is on his way here to pick me up. He wants to talk. ‘
Explain
’. And…”—his shoulders jerked up in a shrug—“I wanna listen.”

My grin was wide, as I looked down at him, both happy for him and jealous of him at the same.

Xavier never asked to see me, to talk or ‘explain’. He just let me go. As though that was what he’d wanted all along but didn’t want to be the one to call it quits. Not after I chose him. Oh no, that would break Alina’s poor heart.

Jess wasn’t engaged anymore, and she was the one he really wanted. His plan had been successful, after all. Jess and Davian were over. To hell with whatever bogus feelings he thought he had for me. The “real deal” was available for the taking, and that’s where he wanted to be. Never-mind the casualties: Davian and me.

“Then go.”

Eyes wide, Danni wagged his head. “I’m not leaving you to drive like this. Are you mad?! Come with me. Leo agreed to take you home.”

My gyrating hips paused as I glared at him. At least I
hoped
I was glaring. In my inebriated state, I could be making cross-eyes for all I knew. “I know I’ve been labeled a shitty mother and all, but I’m not careless enough to get around a steering wheel like this. I texted Mel on our way here to let her know we’d need her to take us home. Knowing her, she’s already parked outside.”

“But I’m the one who dragged you out tonight. I don’t want to leave you by yourself. I should at least—”

“Just go, Danni,” I insisted through a laugh. “I’m fine. I’m a big girl.”

He hesitated, uncertain, not at all comfortable with leaving me alone. I leaned down and turned my cheek to him. He pecked it, and then pecked the other when I offered it. “Now go! I promise I’ll still be alive tomorrow.”

Releasing a thick, reluctant sigh, he nodded. “I’ll let you know how it goes.”

Oh, I knew exactly how it would go. Little to no talking and lots of butt poking. Danni might have been mad, but he was in love with Leo, as fast as that happened. I had no doubt the feelings were mutual on Leo’s end. Believe me, I’ve seen them together, and those two were drowning in each other.

After Danni left, I tried to get back into the dancing groove, but it wasn’t the same without him. Plus, seeing Leo reach out to Danni in a matter of hours, kept reminding me of how much Xavier
did not
reach out to me. At all. The reality murdered my mood and buried me in depression.

Calling it a night, I hopped off the banquette, signaled the hostess and passed her my AmEx to foot the bill. While I waited for her return, I strapped on my stilettos and texted Mel. As I guessed, she was already outside.

Once the hostess returned with my card, I set about weaving through the crowd, feeling a little less drunk and a lot irritated with each bump from patrons, each “Sorry!” or “Excuse me!” or accidental splash of liquor.

All I wanted was to get out of there, face-plant in a ditch and
die
. Frustrated and fed-up with life. Being an adult sucked. I wasn’t ready. I started much too early, and, as a result, I was incapable of making rational decisions. Every decision since I got knocked up until now had been the wrong one. In the moment of making each decision, it felt right. Always felt right. Until it blew up in my face. Monumental mistake.

Here’s the killer question: Should time rewind back to two months ago, and I had the chance to choose again, would I choose differently? Would I choose Davian instead, knowing what the outcome to choosing Xavier would be?

As dumb as it sounds, I would make the same decision all over again. Why? Because I was wildly, insanely, ridiculously in love with Xavier. Even if he didn’t love me back.

What would
I’ve
done differently?
Ignore
Xena’s “advice”,
stay
in that goddamn bedroom, and let him “get some air” like he said he was going to do. Even if that “air” was Jessica Stucco.

That, at least, would’ve bought me some more time with him before he eventually left me for her. Because like he told her, he was “hanging in there” with me. Not love and can’t live without. Just “hanging in there”.

Uh-huh, even when I knew how heartbreaking the ending would be, I would make the same decision
all over again
.

As I tried to scoot around a hip-shaking woman who was jellier than a jellyfish with all kinds of loose skin flapping everywhere, a strong arm snaked out of the waving throngs, hooked me around the waist, and hauled me back into a hard, warm body.

His scent. Even if I was buried six feet under, I’d know that scent.

“You’ve given me
a lot
of ammo tonight with all your club hopping,” he breathed into my ear.

Breath pungent with whiskey, his voice carried the same effect as taking a shot of said whiskey did. Hot and smooth with a subtle burn, it raced straight to my clitoris, leaving the instant desire of having it sucked on.

I wiggled in his hold but stood no chance against those brawns. “I don’t care how much ammo you have. You’re
not
getting my son.”