Off Her Rockers (Loving All Wrong #3.5) (5 page)

As he moved in close, I started to move back, but he caught me by my chin and brought his face extremely close he would kiss me, but careened at the last minute and brushed a kiss against my cheek. “I always knew you’d be the mother of my children.”

“Child,” I corrected.

“We’ll see about that.” Then he turned and sauntered out into the elevator, wearing a shit-eating grin as the doors shut him in.

Bastard
.

Setting the Starbucks cup down on the coffee table, I watched him leave. Taking a deep breath, I counted to ten before directing my steps to the bedroom.

I knocked on the closed door before pushing it open and stepping in.

Xavier paused mid-pacing, swung his head to me, and stared me down. “Listen,” he began, cutting straight to it, patience running thin, “I get that you got a kid with the guy. Get that he’s planted in your life now. Prepared to deal with it. Prepared to ignore his arrogance and mouth-offs, ‘cause he lost, he hates losing, and I’m familiar with the way he operates.

“But I’m
not
—and won’t ever be—prepared for shit like what I just walked in on. ‘Let a lotta things slide with you ‘cause you got so deep under my damn skin. But there’s only so much I can ‘let slide’. You’re with me, then you need to
respect
me.
Act like you’re with me
. Can’t be cuddling and sleeping in another man’s arms while you’re
with me
. The hell, Chino?”

Leaning back against the door, I rubbed my forehead. Dealing with two superbly intense rockers was no mean feat. “I’m sorry,” I apologized. Repentance was the smartest route to take. “Last night was just…overwhelming. I was crying. He held me. I fell asleep. That’s all.”

“That’s no excuse, Chino.”

Covering my face with my hands, I slid down the door until my ass hit the floor. Too much. This was too much. More than I bargained for.

I know, I brought it down on myself. I was a liar. A cheater. A selfish bitch. All that, and more. In the end, I was still human, and there was only so much
I
could handle all at once.

I heard Xavier move across the room, but I didn’t look. Seconds later, he was pulling my hands away from my face. I let him.

Keeping my hands in his, he gave them a gentle squeeze. “Hey, you’re my strong Chino; don’t break on me now. Toughen up. This shitstorm has only just begun. Everyone’s gonna be slinging something your way ‘cause they’re all gonna be viewing you as the bad guy. S’all your fault, they’re gonna say. So you gotta be thick-skinned. Be the Chino I know. The tough, unlikable chick who struts around with an ice-heart.”

“You think it was easy for me walking in and seeing you with him like that just now? Took everything in me not to bludgeon him. But things’re already shitty. Don’t wanna exacerbate it.” Sliding a callused finger under my chin, he tilted my face up to meet his penetrating gray gaze. “Wanna be here for you, Chino. But you gotta be here for me, too.”

My voice was hoarse when I asked, “How many strikes do I have left?”

His head went from left to right. “None.”

I laughed. I’d long since passed three strikes, shot past ten. He’d have to be a whipped fool to grant me more strikes. “Okay. I promise to do better from now on.”

“Now get up, freshen up, and toughen up. You got alotta people hating you right now.”

I stood, and with a flirtatious, lip-biting smile, I batted my eyelashes at him. “But
you
love me, though, right?”

He watched me for a heartbeat, and then cupped one side of my face, dropped a quick kiss to my lips, and strode out of the room.

C
HAPTER
T
HREE

I
N AN ATTEMPT TO SCORE “GOOD” POINTS,
I made breakfast for Xavier. His favorite—bacon omelet with near-burnt toast, baked beans, and fritters. We ate, had small, clinical talks, and then moved out on my balcony to waste a few hours, avoiding all topics “Davi and Jess”.

He had stuff on his mind; it was obvious, but he wasn’t sharing. There were huge gaps of awkward silences, and, not knowing where his head was at, I didn’t know what to say to him, for fear I might trigger something or trip over a live wire.

I mean, I
did
run from him and
to
Davian the night before, only for him to walk in on me sleeping comfortably in my ex’s arms.

He might be pretending to be forgiving of my peccadilloes, but I wasn’t stupid. He was a
man
. Red-blooded just like any other. So I knew he had to be sitting on some vile and ugly thoughts and was—most likely
barely—
restraining himself.

One wrong step, one wrong word, and that could be it for me.

Despite all the bullshit, I viewed Xavier as a hard-won prize. A prize I
did not
want to lose.

Xavier was lying supine on a lounge chair next to mine, face trained up at the blue heavens, aviators hiding his eyes. I couldn’t tell whether he was asleep or awake.

If he
was
awake, though, he didn’t seem bothered by my flipping on my side and staring at—or rather ogling—him for the past fifteen minutes.

I loved him. And every waking moment I spent in his presence, I loved him deeper. I could see myself falling so in love with him in the future that I’d completely submit to him. Whatever he told me to do, I’d do. And I was
not
that kind of girl. Not even when I was with Davian. Me, compliant? Nope. I always had a rebuttal, a rejoinder, an excuse to disobey.

With Xavier though, I was swiftly getting to the point where I’d be living in
his
world, yielding to
his
commands, answering to
his
call.

My phone chirped, and I reluctantly tore my dreamy gaze away from Xavier and rolled onto my back.

Picking up my phone, I checked the screen, hoping it wasn’t another annoying person looking for the inside scoop.

Saskia. Hmm. Took her
this
long to bombard me with questions?

Saskia:
What in d bloody hell?!

Alina:
LOL. Took u long enuf.

Saskia:
That’s becaz I had another episode. Spent all night at d hospital. Just got home Manda laid the news on me. WTF?

Alina:
Again?! Is the baby okay?

Saskia:
Yes, d baby is fine. Spill. What was that interview?

Alina:
Turns out Jess doesn’t take well 2 being dumped.

Saskia:
She made all that up, right? Caz all that crapola she spouted didn’t sound like u. At all.

Alina:
U even have 2 ask? We were NOT close I didn’t tell her jackshit. Tex sent her an A message.

Saskia:
Oops. Sorry!

Alina:
Whatever. Am just glad everything is out. Mostly upset about how she crucified Davi.

Saskia:
How’s he taking it?

Alina:
Not well. Being spiteful. Provoking Xavi.

Saskia:
And Xavi?

Alina:
IDK. He’s all kinds of understanding easy on the outside. But I don’t trust it. Am not sure he trusts me.

Saskia:
Smart boy.

Alina:
Suck my dick!

Saskia:
LMAO

Alina:
On a serious note: Davi wants Jacob here. U r gonna have 2 break it 2 JK.

Saskia:
Figured. Think he did 2. He was there when Manda played d interview 4 me. He took Jacob left b4 it was even finished. He knows his time is up.

Alina:
Sorry, Kia.

Saskia:
It’s OK. I just have 2 brace myself 4 his mood swings assholism until our baby gets here alive well this time…hopefully.

Alina:
Baby JK will make it into this world alive perfectly healthy. C’mon, adult JK is a massive pain in the ass, did you expect baby JK to be anything but?

Saskia:
True dat. Got2go. TTYL.

Sighing, I closed out of Whatsapp. I wished she were closer than an hour’s plane ride away so I could hug her, and have her hopefully hug me back. Because Lord knows, I
needed
one.

Tucking my phone away, I flipped on my side again to watch Xavier and was surprised to find him texting on his phone.

With his fingers still typing and his attention trained on his phone screen, he said, “Get dressed. We got a meeting in an hour.”

“
We
? A meeting?” I asked. “With who?”

“Your boss.”

“Lion? Why?”

He tapped away on his phone screen for another ninety seconds, leaving me waiting for an answer. Setting the phone aside, he sat up, strong, muscular thighs straddling the lounge chair. “You like what you’re doing right now?”

“You mean modeling?”

He nodded.

I laughed, relaxing a little. “Honestly, I’m only keeping up my end of a bargain. A few years ago I went to Lion and asked him to sign my friends—Ice Steam. He said he couldn’t but if he got someone to sign them, I’d have to sign a contract with him…”

Xavier nodded. “Figured. Noticed your lack of enthusiasm re your job.”

“So what’s this meeting with Lion about?”

“Buying you outta the contract.”

What
? Bracing up on my elbows, I fixed him with a displeased look, though he was hiding behind his aviators. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You don’t like it, so…buying you outta it.”

“And Lion agreed to a meeting with
you
on this?”

“Think he’d agree to anything to get you in his office,” he replied with a little half-smile. “Said he’s been ringing you for weeks now to no avail.”

“Well, that explains it,” I mused to myself. To Xavier, “You can’t just decide to make life decisions for me, Xavi. It doesn’t work that way.”

Removing his aviators, he ran his fingers through his hair and his hot gray green penetrated my very soul. “Lemme be honest with you about why I’m doing this: Want you where I can see you. Shit’s shaky right now. Trust’s fragile. Modeling means you gonna be all over the world for days at a time, sometimes weeks. Davi’s gonna try doing anything to get you back and—”

“You don’t trust that I won’t give in to him,” I finished for him, the words gritted through my teeth.

“Chino—”

“So, you basically want a doll you can prop up in your corner. Your own little
toy
no else can play with but yo—”

“Yeah, Chino, that’s right,” he bit out. “Want no one else
playing
with you. Want you in
my
corner. Wanna own you, for
myself.
How does that make me the bad guy?”

Arrggh!
“I don’t like your honesty.” I stood and flounced off into the apartment.

He was right behind me, following. “If you don’t like your job, what’s the big deal?”

Yeah. What’s the big deal, Alina
?
You’re being a little theatrical, don’t you think?
“You scheduled a meeting with
my
boss to make a career choice for me without
consulting me
first. We haven’t even been together six months and already you wanna start ruling my life?”
“Not tryna rule your life. Just want you in mine. And if I don’t make the decisions I’m making, then you just might end up being in
his
and not mine.”

“Xavierrrrr,” I dragged out in high frustration, spinning on him. “I chose
you
! You! Over a man I once thought I couldn’t, in million years, live without. I. Chose. You. How can that
not
be enough?”

He shrugged. “It’s just not, Chino.”

Letting out a long, loud, exhausted sigh, I spun again and made a beeline for my bedroom. “I can’t with this. I’m just…I’ll go get ready.”

Minutes later, I was standing in my closet staring unseeing at the racks, seething, when I heard his heavy footfalls thudding into the room, then the air shifted, the temperature spiking as he came up behind me. He didn’t physically touch me, but his presence had its own caressing fingers, and his heat usually had me seduced and wet long before he ever laid a finger on me. That’s one of the many reasons I chose him. He could touch me without ever touching me.