On the Line (16 page)

Nathan folded his arms across his chest. “That’s a little personal, don’t you think?”

Patrick straightened and shrugged. “Not really.” Nathan opened his mouth to argue
but Patrick held up a hand to stop him. “I’m not asking for details, Nathan. I just
know what I saw between the two of you before Richard’s revelation, and I know what
I see now. I don’t know what caused the change in your behavior, but I had always
thought you to be pretty levelheaded. I would think that if you were upset about
Zoe, you’d at least talk it out with Janelle.”

Nathan nodded his agreement. If things were different, that’s exactly what he would
have done.

“But you won’t even speak to her, and I have to wonder why. Did you have a change
of heart, or is there another reason?” Patrick took a similar
stance to Nathan’s
with his arms across his chest, his eyes now narrowed on Nathan’s face.

Now was Nathan’s chance to clear the air with Patrick and, more importantly, Janelle.
He felt certain that if he asked Patrick to, he would relay everything to Janelle.

“I haven’t had a change of heart,” Nathan started with a shake of his head. “I’m
fairly certain I love her more now than I ever thought possible, and I miss her every
day. But I’m not supposed to see her or any of her family until these investigations
are over. It’s killing me that she and I can’t talk about our daughter or our future.”

“Okay, I’m lost.” Patrick held up his hand to stop Nathan. “Why are you not supposed
to see her? Who told you that and why?”

“My captain, the day after the shooting when he called me into his office,” Nathan
answered as he sat on the stool attached to the table. “Because I had been watching
over her, because I was the first cop on the scene at the cabin, and because of our
affair, he said that if we’re seen together, people might start to suspect we may
have planned this whole thing, that we may have caused Richard’s death.”

One of Patrick’s eyebrows lifted as his eyes narrowed. “You’re kidding?”

“I wish.” Nathan shook his head. “He highly recommended I stay away from her until
the case is resolved so neither of us becomes a suspected murderer.”

Patrick frowned at him. “So, because of your affair, he’s afraid that if people even
see the two of you together, they might jump to the conclusion that you set this
whole thing up? That you somehow convinced Richard to kidnap Zach so that you could
then kill him in a rage or something?”

“Or that we would have simply used the opportunity presented to us by the kidnapping
to off him so we could be together,” Nathan clarified as he rose to his feet. “I
know it’s far-fetched, but Bonner basically said as much in my interview. Only that
I convinced you to do my dirty work for me.” Nathan took in a lungful of air and
slowly blew it out. “But there it is. Until this damn case is closed, which in my
opinion should have been done already, I’m stuck not seeing Janelle and Zoe. I’m
stuck not being able to talk about our past or plan for our potential future. It’s
driving me crazy, man. I know she’s angry at me, she’s stopped calling.”

Patrick’s pressed his lips together and shrug-nodded his agreement.

“I’m afraid I’m losing her.” Nathan looked down at the weapons on the table, suddenly
not interested in firing them anymore. “I can’t lose her again,” he muttered as he
took off his hearing protection and glasses and laid them on the table.

Patrick did the same with his earmuffs and safety glasses. Nathan heard his extended
intake of air and then its slow release before Patrick finally spoke. “What do you
want me to tell Janelle?”

Nathan released a huge sigh of relief. That was what he’d been hoping to hear. “Tell
her whatever you think she needs to know,” he answered. “But most importantly, ask
her to call me. I need to tell her some things myself.”

After the kids were in bed, Janelle, Patrick, and Kelsey stood around the kitchen
island. Patrick had disappeared earlier that day, but Janelle had no idea where he’d
gone and Kelsey hadn’t been very forthcoming with her information. Now all Janelle
could do was wait for one of them to decide to tell her what was going on. She only
hoped it was good news. She was tired of bad.

“Would you like something to drink?” Janelle asked as she opened the cabinet.

Since Kelsey was still using the occasional painkiller, she wasn’t drinking again
yet, so Janelle pulled two wine glasses from the shelf. She turned and set them on
the island as Kelsey sat on the stool and Patrick placed the wine bottle on the counter.
He opened it and then poured two glasses. He slid one toward Janelle and walked around
the island to sit beside Kelsey.

Janelle noticed the look that passed between them, and a sense of foreboding trickled
down her spine. “What’s going on?”

Patrick took a sip from his glass and set it in front of him. “I saw Nathan today.”

Janelle’s legs began to shake, and a sense of betrayal settled in her stomach like
a pebble. “Why would you do that?” she asked as she sat on the stool closest to her.

“I was concerned,” Patrick replied. “You’re upset and I wanted to know what was going
on.”

Janelle looked at her sister. “Did you know about this?”

Kelsey slowly nodded and looked away.

Janelle frowned. “Do you know what was said?”

Kelsey nodded again.

The betrayal grew into a stone and Janelle closed her eyes as she debated whether
or not she wanted this conversation to continue. She had a suspicion that he wasn’t
happy with her, did she really need confirmation? It obviously wouldn’t change anything.
The only thing she figured she could do was start trying to figure out what to do
about Zoe. Suddenly the idea of letting her continue to think of Richard as her father
was unsettling. But if Nathan didn’t want to take on the role, then she didn’t have
a choice.

“Fine,” she said as she opened her eyes. “What did he say?”

Patrick took a deep breath and met her stare. “Do you remember when you were at the
hospital with Kelsey and he got called away?”

Janelle’s brow lifted as her lips pursed. How could she forget? It was the first
time she’d truly felt abandoned by anyone.

“He was called into his captain’s office.” Patrick’s lip curled slightly. “Apparently
Richard’s accusations didn’t sit well with Nathan’s captain, and he wanted to discuss
them and the implications on the investigation.”

Janelle didn’t see what this had to do with her, but she patiently waited for Patrick
to continue.

“His captain suspended him.”

“You told me that already,” Janelle snapped, as surprised by the shortness in her
tone as Kelsey and Patrick seemed to be. “Sorry.”

Patrick nodded. “It was suggested that he stay away from you,” he continued with
a frown, “all of your family, actually, until the investigation is over.”

Janelle’s jaw dropped. “What? Why?” The explanation couldn’t really be that simple.

“The captain said that it might look suspicious. If he’s seen with you it could call
his behavior, and yours, into question, given he’d been watching you and was the
first officer on the scene,” Patrick explained. “It could make both of you look guilty
of something, and the captain thought you might want to avoid that.”

“Janelle, it’s only until the investigations are over,” Kelsey added with a
slight
smile. “It shouldn’t be much longer, then the two of you can work this out.”

Had Janelle heard her right? “Investigations? There’s more than one?”

“Yes, there’s the one into Richard’s death and there’s the internal investigation
into Nathan’s inappropriate use of department resources.” Patrick moved closer to
Kelsey and slid an arm around her waist. “Nathan doesn’t think either of them should
take too much longer. He is anxious to talk to you about Zoe and the role you want
him to play in her life.”

Janelle’s betrayal no longer felt like a stone in her stomach. It began to lighten
and bubble as hope took its place. He did want to talk to her. He was just constrained
by his responsibilities to the force. She knew how important his job was to him,
he’d used it to support his mother and brothers for the longest time, and he obviously
didn’t want to jeopardize it.

And just as quickly as it had started to build, the hope sank. He hadn’t cared about
his job when he’d been watching her house to keep her safe. It didn’t make sense.

“Janelle, aren’t you happy?” Kelsey asked.

“I’m not sure,” Janelle answered softly.

“What are you not sure about?” Patrick asked, businesslike and calm.

She looked at him as she shook her head. “I don’t know. I guess it just seems like
he was perfectly fine going against protocol to keep an eye on all of us, at your
request. And that was before he even knew about Zoe. But now that he knows, suddenly
he wants to follow the rules.” Her heart began to race at the unfairness of it all.

“He has more on the line now,” Patrick replied.

“Does he? He’s been supporting his mother since he started on the force. He paid
for his brothers to go to college. His salary has always been important to more than
just him. I didn’t realize he was taking a risk to protect us, but he took it. And
now, he knows he has a daughter and he decides he can’t chance it to see her?” Janelle
said, her calmness becoming a whine. She waited until she knew she could speak calmly
again before continuing. “I’m just not sure I completely believe him.”

“Has he ever lied to you, J?” Kelsey questioned innocently, her eyes wide with expectation.
Patrick frowned and looked away.

“No,” Janelle answered.

“Then why would you think he’s not being honest now?” Kelsey clenched her hands together
on the counter.

“He’s never had reason to lie before, Kels.” Janelle took a sip of wine and set the
glass down. “Now he has an arsenal full.”

“That’s not true,” Kelsey argued.

Janelle smiled deprecatingly as she looked down. After everything she’d been through,
how could her little sister still seem so innocent? “I lied to him about Zoe, repeatedly.
I’ve put his job and now, possibly, his freedom at risk. He’s taken chances for me
that he never should have taken, and it’s cost him everything.”

“He doesn’t see it that way,” Patrick stated. He drained his wine glass and slid
it away. “He still cares about you and hopes you can work this out as soon as he’s
given the okay.”

“Why does he have to wait to be given anything?” Janelle snapped. “If we were truly
that important to him, don’t you think he’d take the risk?”

Patrick shrugged a shoulder.

“Wouldn’t you?” Janelle blurted.

She knew the answer. He’d proven himself to be willing to risk anything when he followed
Kelsey from California, not knowing what was going on, just that Kelsey was upset
about something. He’d proven he’d do anything for Kelsey when he took Zach out of
that house by the lake and went back in to save her. Janelle didn’t have that confidence
in Nathan anymore.

He’d been there for her once upon a time, when Richard had all but abandoned her
to raise Zach alone. Yes, Richard had still lived with her, but he’d never been there.
He wouldn’t come home until after she knew the bars had closed, or later, then get
up with the sun and leave for work. Somewhere along the line, they’d become more
like roommates than spouses, and Nathan had been there for her then.

He’d been there to ease the burden of raising a child and maintaining a house by
herself. He’d been there to talk to and laugh with. He’d eased her concerns when
Zach had been sick with a cold and his fever had climbed to one hundred and three
degrees. More recently, she’d felt calm and safe knowing that he was in the house
or, at the very least, sitting in a car near the end of her driveway.

Now, she couldn’t be certain he actually wanted to be there. He could
have picked
up the phone and told her everything Patrick had just told her. But he hadn’t. He’d
had someone else do it for him.

“There’s more that he wants to tell you personally, Janelle. He really would like
for you to call him.” Patrick’s gentle voice broke through her dark thoughts. “He
gave me this to give to you.”

Janelle looked down at the envelope Patrick held out to her. “What is it?”

“A letter.” Patrick laid it on the counter and pushed it toward her. “He says it
will explain everything.”

Janelle looked into his brown eyes. “Didn’t you just do that?”

He shrugged. “He hopes this will do it better. And that you’ll call him after you
read it.”

Janelle eyed the envelope warily as she finished the wine in her glass and began
to run her finger around the rim. Should she call him? What would that accomplish?
A letter was okay, she guessed, but why couldn’t he just pick up the phone and make
the move she desperately wanted him to make? She’d tried to reach out to him and
hadn’t been very successful. Now that she knew why, she wasn’t sure it made a difference.