On the Way to Heaven (BWWM Romance) (3 page)

CHAPTER
FIVE

    
After Neil finished showing Trina around
the house, they headed to the back upstairs bedroom.

    
“I was really impressed with your
references.” He set her suitcase in front of the door.

    
“References?” She played with a loose
strand of hair. “What references?”

    
“The references that you had online.” He
smiled. “That you emailed me?”

    
“Just go with it,” Lorraine’s voice said.

    
“Oh, those references.” Trina giggled. “Uh,
thanks. But how hard can it be to keep a place clean?”

    
One of the girls’ shoes lay by the bedroom
door.

    
Trina picked it up and laid it aside.
“Though for you, it seems to be very hard to even try to clean.”

    
“I know my house is a mess.” He opened the
bedroom door and got her suitcase. “But I work funny hours.” He went inside.
“It’s not easy being your own boss. Then, I gotta take care of the girls.”

    
“Sounds like excuses to me.”

    
“What?” He dropped the suitcase in the
middle of the small bedroom.

    
Trina sashayed inside and took in the
surroundings. “Whoa.” She glanced at the made-up bed, neat dresser, clean
carpet, and sparkly mirror. “Am I in the same house?”

    
“I wanted to clean your room for you,” he
said. “Guess I wanted to make a good impression. Didn’t want you to think I’m a
complete slob.”

    
Trina touched the bedspread. “Thanks.” She
stood by the dresser. “I appreciate you doing this.”

    
He nodded. “What did you mean just now,
about how it sounded like I was making an excuse?”

    
“You ever think about how hard it is for
single mothers?” She crossed her arms. “Many of them work multiple jobs, go to
school, and still raise their kids without complaining.”

    
 
“Just because people don’t hear them complain
doesn’t mean they
don’t
complain.” He
approached her. “My life has been very difficult lately. It’s been hard to
adjust, with my wife’s passing.”

    
“I’m sorry.” She touched his arm, and then
moved her hand when he looked at it. “The girls told me she died last year.”

    
“Last May.” He dug the tip of his beige,
suede boot into the navy blue carpet. “She had breast cancer.”

    
“I’m so sorry, Neil.”

    
“It’s not your fault.” He formed a feeble
smile. “She wasn’t the kind to go to the doctor, so when she wasn’t feeling
right, I had to force her to go. By then, it was too late. If she’d gone
sooner—”

    
“I’m sorry.” She touched his arm again. “I
didn’t mean to be critical, it’s just that I think your house represents how
sad the situation is.”

    
“What do you mean?”

    
“You’re not living, Neil. Even your
daughters say you’re just here for them. Why would they think that?”

    
“I guess because it’s true.” A tear
gathered in his right eye. “You know what it’s like to miss a loved one?”

    
“No.” She clasped her hands. “I’d have to
have one to know what it’s like to lose one.”

    
“What?”

    
“Never mind.”

    
“It’s hard to lose a spouse.” Neil walked
around. “It’s a different loss I can’t explain. We were married for eleven
years, and we’d been dating since school. We were high school sweethearts.”

    
Trina held her clasped hands to her face.
“That’s so romantic.”

    
“Everyone around here envied us, because we
were like, the love story of Allocco. While other couples drifted apart, we
stayed together. We had our share of problems.” He walked over to the bed. “But
we loved each other very much. We thought we’d always be together.” That tear
finally fell. “Funny how life is, huh? If it wasn’t for the girls, I could see
no sense in going on.”

    
“You don’t mean that.” She flicked her
hand. “Believe me, you don’t wanna die. It’s not like they make it look in the
movies.”

    
He chuckled. “Huh?”

    
“In the movies, they act like you die and
go to Heaven. You gotta work at that like everything else. Don’t think dying
would make your problems go away. Do you believe in the afterlife?”

    
“Not really.”

    
“You don’t?” She put her hands on her hips.
“Well, there is an afterlife, Neil. Even death doesn’t stop the pain you feel.”
She pointed to the ceiling. “Up there, you’ll still have to deal with what
you’re afraid to deal with now.”

    
He moved closer to her. “And what am I
afraid to deal with now?”

    
“Your wife’s death.”

    
“I am dealing with it.”

    
“No you’re not. You’re trying to ignore it.
One look at your home told me that you are the type who ignores things instead
of dealing with them.”

    
He looked away.

    
“But ignoring your wife’s death won’t
change that it’s happened. What was her name?”

    
“Charlotte,” he whispered.

    
“Denying Charlotte’s death won’t make
things better. You have to face it for yourself and for your little girls. They
need you, Neil.”
   

    
He fidgeted.

    
“You gotta be strong for them. You’re their
daddy, yet they’re worrying about
you
.”

    
“They’re worried about me?”

    
“You think just because they’re kids, they
don’t notice what you’re doing? They’re not stupid. I remember all the pain I
suffered as a child. I might not have known why it was happening, but I knew
what it was. Don’t you wanna be here for your girls?”

    
“Of course. Other than them, I have no life
without Charlotte. She was my whole world.”

    
Trina pointed toward the door. “Those
little girls are your whole world now.”

    
Winter walked in. “I’m hungry. Trina, are
you gonna cook now?”

    
“Cook?”

    
“You do know how to cook, right?” Neil
asked.

    
“Of course I know how to cook.”

    
It’s just been so long since I had to.

    
Trina grimaced. “But I
can’t cook in that kitchen with the sink the way it is.”

    
The doorbell rang.

    
Neil smiled. “That should be the plumber.”

    
He and Winter left the room.

    
The door closed before Trina could follow.

    
She jumped back. “What the heck?”

    
“Surprise.” Lorraine appeared.

    
“Hey, Trina.” Roxy appeared on the bed with
his legs crossed. “You seem to be fitting in well.”

    
“It’s my job to make sure you’re not
fitting in
too
well.” Lorraine
winked. “If you get my drift.”

    
“What are you guys doing here?” Trina moved
from the door. “What if they see you?”

    
“They can’t see us.” Roxy bounced his leg.
“Lorraine was concerned, so she wanted to be around to help.”

    
“You were concerned about me?” Trina raised
an eyebrow.

    
“Don’t get it twisted.” Lorraine maneuvered
her wide hips around the room. “I just didn’t want you to fall flat on your
face. I know how much it means for you to get into Heaven. Daniela sent me to
look after you.”

    
“I don’t think I need your help.”

    
“You never know when you need an angel.”
Lorraine smiled. “Did I tell you I was one?”

    
“You’re an angel?” Trina scoffed. “How come
you can’t fly?”

    
“You see how big she is?” Roxy laughed under
his hand. “Even Heaven doesn’t have wings strong enough to hold her up.”

    
Lorraine glared at him. “I don’t need
wings.”

    
“Yeah, the only wings you want are those on
a chicken.” Roxy laughed.

    
“Anyway…” Lorraine rolled her eyes. “Trina,
you’re doing well with Neil. You two seem to be hitting it off.”

    
“He’s so fine.” She fanned her face. “He
has the most beautiful blue eyes and dimples. I hadn’t noticed the dimples
before.”

    
“Ooh, child.” Roxy leaned back. “Love me a
man with some dimples. I’m getting all hot in places I don’t need to be getting
hot in.”

    
“Looks like we came in time, then.”
Lorraine cleared her throat. “Daniela forgot to inform you of a big rule. See,
it’s against the rules for you to get involved with Neil.”

    
“Come again?” Trina put her hand on her
hip.

    
“You cannot fraternize with Neil,” Lorraine
said. “Nothing romantic or sexual can happen between you, or you automatically
fail the task.”

    
“
What
?” Trina yelled.
“That’s ridiculous.”

    
“It’s the rules.”

    
“But that makes no sense.” Trina walked
around the room. “What difference does it make?”

    
“Spirits cannot mix with mortals that way,”
Lorraine said. “It’s just not allowed.”

    
“I don’t believe this. Is Daniela trying to
torture me? Why put me around this hunk, who is obviously attracted to me, if I
can’t explore that?”

    
Lorraine waved her finger. “You need to
keep your mind on the task, and not on Neil.”

    
“But he wants me.” Trina tugged on her
dress.

    
“I’m sure you thought every man wanted you
when you were alive.”

    
“This man wants me, Lorraine.” Trina leaned
to the side. “Have you seen how he looks at me? Even dressed like this, the man
can hardly control himself. When we shook hands, I felt the heat.”

    
“Then un-feel the heat, because there’s no
negotiations for this rule. You can be Neil’s friend and comfort him. You can
even touch him.” Lorraine counted on her fingers. “But no kissing, no cuddling,
no romantic dinners, no seduction, no groping, none of that.”

    
“But this isn’t fair!” Trina stomped her
feet like a child. “Why not just give me someone bald and fat, then? Putting
Neil in front of me, is like dangling an antelope in front of a lion that
hasn’t eaten in ten months. You realize how long it’s been since I had some
even
before
I died?”

    
“I feel you, girl.” Roxy stood. “I don’t
like the rule either. I’m glad I’m not in your shoes. I wouldn’t be able to
control myself around that big bowl of sexiness. I can barely control myself
now.” He laughed.

    
“This is serious, Trina,” Lorraine said.
“You can have your sexual thoughts and desires. You can’t control that, but you
can control what you do. If you break this rule, you’ll automatically go to
Hell.”

    
“Shit.” Trina smacked her lips. “Not being
able to do anything with Neil
is
hell.”

CHAPTER
SIX

    
Trina stirred the cream of mushroom gravy
on the stove.

    
Violet peeked in and moved when Trina
glanced at the door. She reappeared, grinning.

    
“What are you up to, little girl?” Trina
turned the flame up under the gravy.

    
“Nothing.” Violet walked in, swinging her
arms. “
What’cha
making?”

    
“Gravy.”

    
Violet stood beside her. “What for?”

    
“For the turkey necks.” Trina gestured to
the huge pot boiling on the back burner. “I’m gonna put them in this gravy and
put them in the oven.”

    
“Smothered turkey necks?” Violet beamed.
“Daddy loves turkey necks.”

    
“I figured.” Trina stirred. “He has about
ten packs in the deep freezer.”

    
“It smells good.” Violet got on her tiptoes
and leaned to look at the gravy. “Do you like my daddy?”

    
“I don’t know him that well.” Trina checked
the necks. “But he seems nice. Why?”

    
Violet shrugged.

    
“Anything I should know about your dad that
will help me get along with him? You’ll let me know, right?”

    
Violet swept her thin ponytail over her
shoulder. “Uh-huh. You wanna play with me?”

    
“I can’t right now, but maybe after
dinner.” Trina wiped her hands on the apron. “Your daddy goes out a lot, you
said?” She turned the oven on.

    
“To the bar with his friends.” Violet
twirled in a circle.

    
“Does he just have male friends?”

    
Violet stopped twirling and stared at
Trina.

    
“Does he have any female friends?” Trina
turned the gravy to simmer. “Like a woman he always hangs around?”

    
“You mean a girlfriend?” Violet slapped her
hands over her face. “Marisa.” She giggled.

    
“Marisa?” Trina sucked her lip. “So this
Marisa and your daddy are very close?”

    
“Uh-huh.” Violet scratched her head. “She
was Mommy’s friend.”

    
“Oh, she was your mother’s friend?” Trina
turned toward the stove. “Now, she’s trying to get it on with your father,” she
muttered.

    
“Don’t go there,” Lorraine’s voice said.
“You have no right to be jealous.”

    
“I’m not jealous.” Trina leaned against the
stove. “But she doesn’t seem like a good friend to me.”

    
“Huh?” Violet asked.

    
Trina faked a smile. “Nothing, sweetie.”

* * * *

    
“Jesus, Trina.” Neil laid his fork down and
dabbed his mouth. “That was out of this world.”

    
She sipped juice. “I’m glad you liked it.”

    
“Yeah, it was good.” Paige ate more mashed
potatoes.

    
“Can I have some more?” Winter sucked on a
turkey bone.

    
“Uh, you’ve had more turkey necks than me.”
Neil put his napkin on the table. “That’s enough.”

    
Winter stuck her lips out. “But I’m still
hungry.”

    
Trina put her hand on the back of Violet’s
chair. “Did you enjoy your meal?”

    
“Uh-huh.” She sucked gravy from her tiny
fingers. “This is the best meal we’ve had in forever.”

    
Neil smiled and lifted his cup. “She’s not
lying. I usually just throw things together during the week, and cook big meals
on the weekend. Paige can cook a little bit, though.”

    
Trina nodded.

    
“It’s hard having your own business and
doing all the stuff around the house, too,” Neil said.

    
Trina wiggled in her chair. “Do you have a
crew?”

    
“Yeah, I have a few guys who work for me,
and my best friend Skip.” He cleared his throat. “He’s a character. You’ll like
him.”

    
“I’m glad you liked the meal.” Trina patted
her stomach. “It’s been a long time since I cooked.”

    
“It has?” He raised an eyebrow. “You’re a
housekeeper. Don’t you usually cook?”

    
Shit.

    
She tapped the checkered tablecloth. “I
meant I usually don’t cook big meals like this.”

    
“Trina, are you still gonna play with me?”
Gravy covered Violet’s mouth.

    
“Sure I am. Look at this mess.” She wiped
Violet’s mouth. “You’re supposed to eat the gravy, not wear it.”

    
“Daddy, did you know Trina’s not married?”
Paige sipped from the plastic cup.

    
Trina glanced at him and cleared her
throat.

    
“You’re not?” His face lit up. “I wasn’t
sure because you weren’t wearing a ring, and I felt it wasn’t my business to
ask.”

    
“No, I’m not married.” She propped her
elbows on the table. “I’ve never been married, or close to it.”

    
“I find that hard to believe,” he said. “A
nice woman like you?”

    
“It’s hard to find a man who’s not
intimidated by my career.”

    
Neil gaped. “You mean, being a maid?”

    
She chuckled.

    
Shit.

    
“Uh, yeah. You’d be
surprised how many men are intimidated by any independent woman.” She exhaled.
“It’s not so much what I do, but I’ve never felt I needed a man.”

    
“A lot of women say that, but I don’t think
it’s true.” He sipped from his cup. “Man or woman, everyone needs someone,
right?”

    
“I guess it’s easier not to need someone
when you’re used to people not being there for you...” Her voice trailed off.

    
“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or—”

    
“No.” She smiled. “I’ve just been trained
not to depend on others because I know it’s dangerous to get in that frame of
mind.”

    
“You don’t trust people?”

    
She ran her finger down her cup. “Never had
any reason to.”

    
“I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but
that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard, Trina.”

    
The girls looked at her.

    
“Well, some people would say not wanting to
live is very sad, too.” Trina sighed.

    
He checked his watch. “I’ll be back in a
few hours.” He got up and left the kitchen.

    
“Did I say something wrong?” Trina asked
the girls.

    
“No, he always goes out after dinner.”
Winter cleaned her glasses. “He meets Skip and his other friends at the pool
hall.”

    
“He said he was gonna help me with my
homework tonight.” Paige turned around in her chair. “He said he would all
weekend, but he’s leaving.”

    
“Hold on, okay?” Trina left the kitchen.
“Neil?” She ran into the living room. “Neil, can I speak to you for a second?”

    
“Sure.” He turned from the front door.
“What is it?”

    
“Where are you going?”

    
“To the pool hall.” He rubbed the back of
his neck. “Meet my friends for some beers.”

    
“Paige said you were gonna help her with
her homework.”

    
“And I am.”

    
“When? It’s Sunday night and she said she’s
been asking all weekend.”

    
“What is this?” He scoffed. “I’m on trial
or something?”

    
“The girls won’t be up much longer. Aren’t
you going to put them to bed?”

    
“Can’t you do it?”

    
She sighed. “I can but—”

    
“Then I don’t see what the problem is.” He
took his keys out.

    
“The problem is, you’re their father, not
me. Your daughters need you and you’re doing nothing for them.”

    
He squinted. “Excuse me?”

    
“You heard me. This might not be my place,
but I don’t bite my tongue. I’ve only been here for a few hours, and it’s
really getting to me how you push your daughters aside the way you do.”

    
“How dare you?” He marched to her. “Who the
hell do you think you are? I hired you to clean the house, not give me
parenting tips.”

    
“Someone needs to. At first I felt sorry
for you, but now I’m pissed off. You’ve got your daughters living in this
filthy house, where you can’t even pick a sock up off the floor. I had to come
in here and clean this place up from top to bottom.”

    
He stood to the side. “Isn’t that what
you’re paid to do?”

    
“You need to be here for your girls.”

    
“I have everything under control.”

    
“Oh really?” She laughed. “When I got here,
your daughter was hanging off the roof. Is that control? You’re not the only
one hurting here, Neil. They need you more than you’ll ever need them.”

    
“That’s enough!” He stuck his hand in her
face. “You’re the
maid
, Trina. That’s it.”

    
The girls stood at the doorway. “Where do
you get off telling me I’m a bad father?”

    
“I didn’t say you were a bad father.”

    
 
“It
sure as hell feels like you did.”

    
“Okay, maybe I did.” She shrugged. “Am I
lying?”

    
“Let’s get something straight, right now.
You’re supposed to look after the house, and help me out around here. You worry
about that, and not what I’m doing.”

    
She crossed her arms. “You mean what you’re
not
doing?”

    
“Who are you to judge me? You don’t even
have kids.”

    
“And if I did, I certainly wouldn’t treat
them like you treat yours.”

    
“You don’t like it, Trina?” He stomped to
the door. “You’re free to leave. I don’t give a shit. But if you wanna work
here, then you do what I ask, and nothing more. What I do with my daughters is
none of your damn business. Do you understand me?”

    
“Dad,” Paige whimpered.

    
“Do you understand me, Trina?” He opened
the door.

    
“Yes.” She glared at him. “I understand you
just fine.”