On Thin Ice (The Baltimore Banners Book 8) (24 page)

Mat grunted and shook his head, his green eyes flashing in amusement. "And after that, you can just finally tell her that you love her."

"But—"

"But nothing. You know it, we know it. Hell, everyone knows it. Don't you think it's time she knows it, too?"

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about."

Mat snorted again then turned around and dropped back into the seat. Randy chuckled, earning another glare from Kenny. He held his hands up, palms out, and shrugged. "Don't look at me. You know how Mat is when it comes to relationship advice. The ball's in your court, now. Do it or don't, up to you."

He turned back in the seat and closed his eyes, effectively ignoring Kenny.

Well shit. What the hell was he supposed to do now? He wanted to wait for the right time, the perfect moment. Now he didn't know what to do.

Damn Harland. He was going to kill him. He wasn't sure when, but he was going to kill him.

As soon as he figured how to fix the mess Harland's big mouth had just created.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Lauren stared up at the building, a chill going through her that had nothing to do with the leaden sky and falling flakes of snow. The old stone block was dark with age, looming several stories high and casting a shadow over the street that seemed to stretch for blocks. Razor wire topped the sturdy fence surrounding the building, as intimidating as the bars covering all the windows. Except they weren't real windows, not the kind you could look out of, not the kind you could open wide to invite in light and fresh air.

A warm hand closed around hers, squeezing gently. Lauren's hand tightened, accepting the reassurance. She looked over at Kenny and tried to smile but it fell flat. She almost expected him to say something, to ask if she really wanted to do this, to say she didn't need to be here. But he was silent, not saying anything, and for that she was grateful.

Lauren took a deep breath, readying herself, then led the way inside. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, not really, but the reality was worse. Loud, dirty, dingy. Guards, completely expressionless, their voices flat and barely civil. The noise, bouncing off bare concrete, too loud, too harsh. And the stench, like humanity had withered and died and lay there, rotting.

They signed in and, after being made to wait, were escorted through a security gate and taken upstairs. There was yet another area to check-in, yet another security gate. A guard waved a wand over Lauren's body, up and down, front and back, then did the same to Kenny. They were escorted through one more gate and down a short hall that opened into what she supposed was a waiting room of sorts. Several other people were there, sitting or standing, their faces drawn and carefully blank. A guard approached them, the woman's cold eyes quickly assessing and dismissing.

"Ms. Gannon. This way."

Kenny's hand closed around hers once more, gently squeezing. "I'll wait for you here."

Lauren nodded, not able to speak over the nerves and anxiety gripping her. She followed the guard into yet another room, this one a little bigger, filled with several round tables surrounded by hard plastic chairs. The guard led her to one and motioned for her to take a seat, then disappeared behind another door. Lauren lowered herself to the chair, her hands carefully folded in her lap, not touching anything. She looked around, her eyes resting on the guard standing so still and watchful by the door, thick arms crossed in front of her broad chest. Lauren looked away and took another breath—carefully, though her mouth—then waited.

Several long minutes passed before the door opened again and the guard reappeared, one hand wrapped around Lindsay's upper arm. She led Lindsay to the table and pulled the chair out, giving her sister a little push. Lindsay shot her an angry look then shifted in the chair and rested her arms on the table as she turned to Lauren.

Her hair was limp and dull, her eyes too big in her pale face. There was a smudge on her jaw, up high near her left ear. Lauren looked closer then sat back in surprise. Not a smudge. A bruise, faded to a pale purple.

"I didn't expect to see you here."

"I wanted to see you."

"Why?"

"Why?" Lauren repeated, surprised at the wariness rolling off Lindsay, surprised at the coolness of her expression. "Because you're my sister, that's why. Because I'm worried about you."

"Yeah, okay." Lindsay folded her arms across her chest. "That's why you kicked me out, right? Because you were so worried."

"No, Lindsay, I kicked you out because you stole from me. Because you lied. Because you need to learn to start accepting responsibility."

"Spare me."

Lauren took another deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She clenched her hands tighter together, so tight she could feel her fingers turning cold. She looked around, her gaze sweeping across the barren room without really seeing anything, then turned back to her sister. "How are you doing?"

"How am I doing? Really?" Lindsay laughed, the sound brittle. "How do you think I'm doing, Lauren? I'm in
jail
, not on vacation."

"I know that."

Lindsay stared at her for a long minute, her eyes carefully hooded. Then she leaned across the table, one arm extending out, her hand facing up. Like she was reaching for Lauren, like she wanted to take Lauren's hand. Lauren clamped her hands together and left them in her lap. "Lauren, please. You have to get me out of here. It's awful. You have no idea how bad it is. I can't take much more of it. Please, just get me out of here. You know I didn't mean it."

Lauren deliberately pushed all emotion away, her mind carefully choosing each word as she watched her sister's face. "I know you didn't realize you could have killed me."

There it was, the small flash of impatience that flared in Lindsay's blue eyes before she could hide it. Lauren's hands curled into tight fists, her nails biting into the flesh of her palms. But she felt no hurt, no pain—just a deep sense of sadness that was quickly replaced by futile acceptance. Lindsay still hadn't learned. Would she ever? Lauren hoped, but couldn't quite bring herself to fully believe.

Lindsay didn't do anything except lean back in the plastic chair, one shoulder lifting in a careless shrug. "Everyone overreacted. Nothing would have happened to you." She watched Lauren from beneath half-closed lids. What was she hoping for? Sympathy? Some kind of twisted remorse from Lauren? Lindsay must have sensed that Lauren wasn't buying it, that she wasn't giving in like she usually did. Panic sparked in her eyes, quickly blinked away as she leaned across the table, not quite reaching for Lauren again.

"Please, Lauren. Just drop the charges. I've learned my lesson. I know it was stupid. I'll…I'll…it won't happen again. I promise. Just drop the charges and get me out of here."

"I didn't press charges, Lindsay. This isn't up to me."

"Don't lie to me! You can get me out of here. You can talk to them, talk to somebody—"

"I'm sorry, Lindsay, but I can't."

"Don't tell me that!" Lindsay shouted the words, coming halfway out of the chair. The guard by the door moved, taking a threatening step toward them. Lindsay frowned and dropped back into the chair, lowering her voice. "You can make them drop the charges. You can talk to them—"

"It's out of my hands, Lindsay. I told you that. You need to take responsibility for what you did, need to—"

"Oh, so that's what this is about then. It's not that you can't help me, it's that you won't. This is some kind of payback, isn't? Some way to get me out of your way because you're jealous. You've always been jealous."

Lauren waited for the pain and anger, waited for the emotions that usually sliced through her at Lindsay's assorted accusations. At her excuses. But nothing came. For the first time, she felt completely empty as reality gripped her. Lindsay wasn't going to change, not yet. Maybe not ever. Nothing Lauren did—nothing anyone of them did—would change that.

Only Lindsay had the power to change things.

Acceptance flowed through her, slowly filling her. There was sorrow as well, at the loss of the laughing sister she remembered from their childhood. But the woman sitting across from her, with anger and resentment flashing in her eyes, wasn't the same person as the little girl she remembered. She hadn't been, for a long time.

Lauren blinked her tears away as she acknowledged the sorrow, acknowledged the fact that maybe she'd never have her sister back, not the sister she remembered. If life was a book, the details neatly planned and the ending carefully written, then Lauren would blink and everything would be taken care of, everything would work out for that happy-ever-after she wanted for her sister.

But this was real life, not a novel, and things wouldn't be wrapped up so neatly. Maybe they'd never be wrapped up as far as Lindsay was concerned. But Lauren couldn't put her own life on hold while she waited for her sister. She couldn't keep making excuses for Lindsay, couldn't keep pulling her out of trouble and hoping that this would be the time that Lindsay learned her lesson.

Only Lindsay could do that. And only when she was truly ready.

Lauren gave her sister a sad smile and shook her head as she slowly stood. "You're my sister, Lindsay, and I'll always love you, but I can't help you. Not this time."

"Wait. Where are you going?" Lindsay pushed back from the table, nearly knocking the chair over as real panic twisted her face. "You're leaving? Just like that? You can't leave! You need to get me out of here!"

"I'm sorry, Lindsay."

"Lauren, wait. Please."

"I'll be here when you're ready, but I can't help you. Only you can do that." Lauren swallowed, not surprised to see the flash of hatred and denial in her sister's eyes. But she didn't wait for the screaming, didn't wait for the profanity-laced taunts that would soon be hurled her way.

Lauren turned and headed to the door, stepping through as the guard outside opened it for her. Lindsay's screech split the air, quickly cut off when the door closed with a solid thud of thick steel. She stood there, her eyes closed, her heart pounding in her chest. Then she took a deep breath and opened her eyes, her gaze immediately falling on Kenny. He stood several feet away, concern etched on his face, emotion burning in his eyes.

Life really wasn't a novel, with everything falling so neatly in place. That didn't mean she couldn't try to write her own happy-ever-after. Or even her own happy-for-now. She just needed to find the courage to go for it.

But not here. Not yet.

She walked over to Kenny and reached for his hand, threading her fingers with his. His touch was warm, steady. Reassuring, in more ways than he probably even realized. She offered him another smile then turned and headed back down the hallway, content to just be in the silent reassurance of his presence.

Chapter Thirty

Lauren was quiet. Almost too quiet. And he couldn't gauge her mood at all. He sensed a little sadness but not as much as he expected. And she didn't seem to be upset. He'd heard Lindsay shouting, her voice shrill as she screamed profanities at Lauren. There was no doubt Lauren heard them—everyone had as soon as the guard had opened the door. Before then, even. But Lauren didn't seem to be bothered by it at all. Not when she first walked out and not now, sitting next to him as he maneuvered the car from the parking garage.

In fact, Lauren was a lot calmer than he was. His hands had clenched as soon as he heard the yelling, anger shooting through him, protectiveness welling deep inside him. He had wanted to run in and wrap his arms around her, to shield her as he carried her out. And then Lauren had stepped out of the room and offered him that small smile.

And his entire world had come to a screeching halt, tilting in a crazy spiral before abruptly straightening. Not back to the way it had been, but something different. Something…right.

Which only convinced him that he really was in love with her. But he had no idea how to tell her. It wasn't like he could just blurt it right out. Especially not now, not after what she'd just gone through. Lauren was strong, stronger than he probably realized. And stubborn. The last two weeks couldn't have been easy for her, no matter how well she seemed to be handling it. And then to meet with her sister, to have their meeting end in such an ugly matter…that had to be upsetting.

But damn if she looked upset. In fact, she almost looked…serene. At peace. Almost. He glanced down at her hands, clasped neatly in her lap. She twiddled with her fingers, picking at the cuticle on one for a brief second before her hands relaxed again.

"The light's green."

"Hm? Oh, right." He looked away and drove forward, not missing the small smile that teased her full mouth. "Were you ready to grab lunch yet?"

"No, not yet."

Kenny swallowed back his disappointment, even though he wasn't surprised. Of course she didn't feel like eating. She probably
was
upset, no matter how he thought she looked. Serene. Yeah, he obviously had no idea what that even meant. She was probably just preoccupied.

He pulled to the end of the block then made a right, glancing around at the late-morning traffic. It wasn't snowing enough to cover the road yet and probably wouldn't be for some time, if at all. That wouldn't stop people from driving like idiots in the wintry weather.

"Did you just want to go back to your place then?"

"God, no. Mom and Dad are still there. I love them to death but I need a break from them."

He breathed a little sigh of relief. It wasn't that he didn't like her parents, because he did. But he always felt guilty, like they knew everything they'd done together, like they knew exactly what was on his mind whenever he watched Lauren. Her father, especially, seemed to be able to read his mind and he couldn't quite stop the guilt that made him want to squirm. He just hoped his excitement didn't show in his voice. "Was there somewhere else you wanted to go?"

Lauren twisted in her seat and smiled, that same soft smile she had on her face earlier. "How about back to your place?"

"Sure. We can do that, no problem." He quickly changed lanes, moving over so he could make a left at the next light. A horn blared behind him and he winced, offering the driver an apologetic wave. So much for paying attention to traffic. How could he when excitement suddenly blazed through his body?

He needed to control it, to get a grip on himself. For all he knew, Lauren just wanted a break from her parents, just like she said. Just because she mentioned going back to his place didn't mean she wanted to get naked.

And shit, he did not need that visual. Not right now. But now it was there and he couldn't get rid of it. It had been more than two weeks—a lifetime—and he wanted nothing more than to feel Lauren in his arms, to feel her warm body welcoming him—

"We need to talk."

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

We need to talk.
Words that absolutely nobody in any kind of relationship wanted to hear. Ever. He gripped the steering wheel and kept his eyes straight ahead, unable to look over at her.

"Sure. Uh, no problem." He drove another block, his heart pounding in his chest, anxiety eating away at him. He took a deep breath and glanced at Lauren, then quickly looked away again. "What about?"

"It can wait until we get there."

Kenny looked over at her one more time. She wasn't looking at him, her eyes straight ahead. But she didn't look upset. Or mad. Or angry. She didn't look like any of those things that he imagined someone would look right before telling someone else to get loss.

So maybe she wasn't going to do that. Maybe he was just overreacting, reading into things. If that's what she wanted to do, would she even want to go back to his place? No, she wouldn't. That wouldn't make sense. So of course he was reading too much into it.

He hoped.

The minutes stretched around them, filled with silence as he made it back to his place and pulled the car into the parking garage and drove down to the lower level. He turned the engine off then ran around to open the door for Lauren, surprised when she smiled up at him and took his hand.

She wouldn't be holding his hand if she was going to tell him to take a hike, right? Of course not. But she was still too quiet, not saying anything, and his nerves stretched tight under the silence. Even when they made it upstairs and he opened the door to the apartment for her, she didn't say anything, just dropped his hand and walked in. He bit back a sigh and closed the door, the click of the lock as loud as a shot in the surrounding quiet. He turned, ready to beg for mercy, to ask her what was wrong, when she came into his arms and pressed her body against his, her mouth hot and needy as she kissed him.

Kenny stood still for a split-second, his mind having trouble catching up to what his body was feeling. Then he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her even closer, fitting her more solidly against him as his tongue swept into her mouth. Tasting, claiming. But then Lauren pulled away, ending the kiss entirely too soon.

"So when were you going to tell me?"

Kenny opened his mouth then quickly closed it. He looked into her eyes, saw the flash of amusement before she hid it. "Uh, tell you what?"

She raised her eyebrows in question, one corner of her mouth tilting in a crooked smile. "Hmm."

Then she stepped back and turned away, walking down the hallway. Kenny stood there, at a complete loss. Tell her what? He was more confused than ever, especially when she stopped just outside the bathroom and turned back to look at him.

"Well?"

"I'm not—" He cleared his throat then shook his head, still at a loss. "I thought you said we needed to talk."

"We do."

"Then I guess I'm just a little confused because I…don't…" His voice trailed off, his mind shutting down just a little when Lauren reached down and grabbed the hem of her sweater then slowly lifted it over her head. She tossed it to the floor, standing there in a silky green bra and a smile.

"You coming?" She tilted her head to the side, watching him for the space of heartbeat, then turned into his bedroom.

Kenny flew across the apartment, his feet barely touching the floor in his hurry to get to his room. Lauren was stretched out on his bed, still dressed in her bra and jeans. Her back was against the headboard and she just sat there, watching him with a look of expectation on her face.

It was the look that stopped him from leaping across the room and throwing himself on top of her. He had thought she looked serene before? Maybe, but she certainly didn't look that way now. A devilish glint shone in her warm brown eyes, in the small tilt of her mouth. She looked the way he imagined a large cat who had just discovered an aquarium full of fish might look: hungry, playful, and up to absolutely no good.

Kenny raised one brow in silent question, and maybe even in amusement. He moved toward the bed, each step slow and deliberate. Her eyes widened just a little in excitement but she didn't move, didn't look away. Not even when he grabbed her ankle and tugged, pulling until she slid down the bed. He leaned over her, one arm on either side of her.

"I thought you said we needed to talk."

"We do." She licked her lips, her eyes darting to his mouth before meeting his again. "So when were you going to tell me?"

"When were you going to tell me?" He threw the words back at her, biting the inside of his cheek to stop from laughing at the ire that flashed in her eyes. She pushed up on her elbows but he slid his arms in closer, keeping her in place.

"I'm going to kill Dale! He told you, didn't he?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Lauren frowned. Kenny could see that she wasn't sure if he was teasing, or if he was serious. He dipped his head and captured her mouth with his, her lips softening under his touch. She sighed, a breathy moan, then pulled away, dropping her head to the mattress. She reached up and cupped the side of his face with her hand, her thumb stroking the line of his jaw before swiping across his bottom lip.

"I wasn't sure…I thought it was too soon. And then everything else happened and I didn't know if you'd want to be sucked into all the drama."

"The only thing I care about is you, Lauren. Not the drama, not your family. You."

"That's what I was hoping. And then last night on the phone…"

"Yeah. Harland Day is a complete ass and it'll be a long time before I ever speak to him again." The words came out harsher than he intended and he realized they were true. He may eventually forgive his teammate, but not anytime soon. Not until the man grew up some.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Kenny rolled to the side, propping his head on his hand then reaching out to pull Lauren closer. He ran his hand along her arm, the touch soft, gentle. "I thought it was too soon. And then everything else happened and I wasn't sure if you wanted to deal with it with all the other drama."

Lauren laughed then playfully smacked his hand. "That's cheating. You could at least come up with your own lame excuse instead of copying mine."

"So you admit it's lame."

"Maybe." Her eyes turned serious, holding his for a long minute. He could see the pulse beat heavily in her neck, the skin still too pale, too fragile. His mind flashed back to that morning, to the fear that gripped him when he realized what had happened. That same fear still gripped him, paralyzing him. He pushed it away and leaned forward, pressing his mouth to hers.

Warm. Alive. Here.

His.

Maybe it was too soon, maybe it didn't make sense. But it was right for him. And, he hoped, for her.

"I love you, Lauren." He held his breath, watching her. The way the small flush colored her skin, spreading from her neck up to her face. The way her eyes widened, the pupils dilating as the pulse beat faster against the skin of her throat. The way her chest rose and fell, her breath hitching just the tiniest bit. Her tongue darted out and swept across her lips, her eyes searching his for a long minute. Then she pushed up on her arm and leaned forward, resting her hand against his chest, directly over his heart, as she pressed her lips against his.

"I love you, too. With everything I am."

Kenny kissed her, slow and deep, their bodies melting into each other. He pulled away, smiling at her. "Does this mean you won't kick me out of any more games?"

Lauren laughed then shifted over him, straddling him. She leaned down, kissed him, then pulled away with a smile.

"Not on your life."

*****