Once and for All (20 page)

“What about her?” Tyler asked.

“I care about her. A lot.”

Tyler stared at him. “That’s cool, Sam. Really cool.” He spoke with no warmth in his voice.

Sam’s control snapped. “People make mistakes, you guys!” He had certainly made his share and he was probably making one now, but he didn’t care. It couldn’t mess up the situation any more than it was now. “I make them. You make them. Jodie makes them. She didn’t kill your parents any more than I did when I talked your dad into taking my place at the conference, so I’m to blame, too. She’s just an easy target because she doesn’t put food on your table and a roof over your head.”

Tyler swallowed, but didn’t look away. Beau was staring at the floor.

“She can’t make what happened to you right,” Sam continued in a gentler voice. “No one can.”

The boys gave no response, but he hadn’t expected one.

“I want you guys to think about what your parents would want you to do in this situation.”

That got their attention.

“Do you think they’d be happy knowing you two were determined to hang on to the anger and let it eat you from the inside out? That you were generating hate on their account?”

Beau shifted his weight, propping a hand on one hip, and Tyler continued his critical stare, but other than that, both remained disengaged. No more than Sam expected, but he had to give it a shot, hope that someday his words might make sense. That obviously wasn’t today.

“That’s all,” he said in defeat. “I have a call. I won’t be home until late. Do your homework.”

He grabbed the keys off the peg and let himself out the back door, crossing the lawn to the clinic with long strides, not thinking about what he’d just said, because frankly, he didn’t believe it would do much good. The boys were taking comfort in their anger and they now had someone tangible to direct it at, rather than some faceless guy in prison. Or maybe they just felt betrayed, because like him, they’d fallen in love with Jodie. The only difference was that he still loved her and didn’t know what to do about it.

Sam ended up spending a good chunk of the night at Kade Danning’s place, trying to save a horse that a pack of dogs had made run through a wire fence. Kade’s wife, Libby, whom Sam had once dated, was furious, since she’d made complaints to the authorities about the owner several times and nothing was done. Now one of their mares was a bloody, stitched up mess. But she would pull through.

As Sam worked he couldn’t help reliving the night he’d broken his vow to himself and gone to the Barton ranch to sew up Joe’s gelding for Jodie. He’d had no idea what a life-altering event that would turn out to be, and now he wondered how it was all going to play out.

It was beginning to look less than hopeful.

Kade and Libby offered Sam a bed when he’d finished stitching, since it was after midnight, but he declined the offer. It was only an hour back to Wesley, after all.

He could barely stay awake. It seemed the nights he was able to sleep were interrupted by emergencies, and the nights he didn’t have calls he lay awake, his gut tied in a knot.

Something had to give.

The next morning he felt like crap. His head was pounding and he couldn’t seem to get enough coffee in him, so of course the call from hell came in.

“Sam, it’s the Barton ranch.” There was something in Katie’s voice that kept Sam from telling her he wasn’t available. “Margarite.”

He took the phone and gave a curt hello.

“Sam, Joe just had a heart attack pulling a calf. The ambulance should be here any minute…. Sam, that poor cow is going to die and Lucas can’t finish the job. And we have two more cows down.”

“Be right there.”

Katie was wide-eyed when Sam handed the phone back to her. “Joe’s had a heart attack. I need to go help.”

“With the heart attack?” Katie asked in a bewildered voice.

“With the cows. He was pulling a calf when it happened and two more are about to give birth.”

He was out the door before the last words left his mouth. He might think Joe Barton was a son of a bitch, but he didn’t want him to die, didn’t want Jodie to go through the anguish of losing him while they still had unfinished business.

The Beast pulled in just as Sam was getting into his truck.

“What’s up?” Beau asked.

“Joe Barton just had a heart attack.”

“Is he alive?” Tyler asked.

“Yeah.”

Beau snorted. “Too bad Jodie won’t find out what it’s like to lose a dad,” he muttered darkly.

Sam’s hand froze on the door handle, then he slowly turned back to face his nephews. Beau swallowed when he saw his expression.

“Is that what you want? Really? You want Jodie to feel what you felt? If so, then I feel sorry for
you.
”

Beau’s color started to rise.

“Tell you what, bud. You can hold on to your bitterness for as long as you want. I don’t care. I’m done, because nothing makes a difference. But do not ever spout that shit around me again. Got it?”

After a stretch of heavy silence, both teens nodded, then Beau looked down at the ground, scuffing the toe of one sneaker on the ground self-consciously.

“And you know what? Your dad would be damned embarrassed right now. He raised you guys better than this.”

Sam didn’t say another word. He got into the truck, started it and backed out of the driveway, leaving his nephews staring after him.

He saw the ambulance approaching him on the road leading from the Barton ranch, its red lights flashing. Sam pulled over, thinking that the lights were a good sign. The medics didn’t bother when it was too late. Right behind the ambulance was a fancy sedan, with Margarite at the wheel and Nadine Barton sitting beside her.

Was Jodie on her way up north right now? Had they called her? Or were they waiting until they had more news?

Lucas was in the barn. He shook his head when Sam approached.

“You lost the cow?” Sam asked.

“Yeah. It just took too long.” He indicated the two cows in separate pens, both down. “She’s probably going to be fine, but that one’s a heifer and Joe used that big bull.”

Damn Joe and that black homozygous bull of his. “Well, let’s see what we can do to help her out.”

After a brief examination, Sam knew he was looking at a C-section. They put the heifer in the squeeze and Sam started shaving the left flank.

“Are you staying on?” he asked Lucas, making a stab at normal conversation.

“I guess. Me and Joe seem to be doing all right.”

“Glad to hear it. Is he hiring more help?”

“The usual summer hires for when he turns the place into a glorified dude ranch, but nothing right now. Calving is keeping me busy. I wish I had more time for the fences now that the snow’s melting. They’re sagging bad and I’m afraid we’ll have an escape before I get them all tightened.”

“Who’s been doing the vet work?”

“Eriksson when he has time to come. Pretty much Joe’s been helping me pull the calves, and other than one C-section that Dr. E did, we’ve been lucky.” Lucas handed Sam the Bentadine and Sam swabbed the area of the incision before handing it back. “That black bull? Died of red water. Eriksson did a swab to make sure.”

“How’d Joe take that?” Sam checked the rafters for pulleys in case they had to draw the calf out of the incision with chains.

“Joe’s been pretty darned quiet about that.”

“I wonder if he apologized to Jodie.”

Lucas snorted. “I haven’t seen any flying pigs lately.” He was quiet for a moment while Sam readied himself to make the incision. “I kind of wonder if worrying about Jodie didn’t…you know…lead up to the heart attack.”

“Straining on a calf probably didn’t do him any good, either.”

“Self-loathing’s a bad thing,” Lucas replied, sounding as if he was talking from experience. “If Joe lives through this, I hope he figures that out. Makes some things right.”

“Yeah,” Sam said as he began his operation. “Me, too.”

Sam walked through the empty house, looking for clues, such as a note, before he dialed the twins’ cell and heard it ringing in their bedroom. Cool. He snapped his own phone shut and went to find theirs, lying on the dresser next to Beau’s wallet. Okay, wherever they went, they weren’t going to spend a lot of money. Although Beau was not the greatest at math, he was the brother who managed his money best and had the most. Tyler was always broke.

Sam looked down at the phone, then shook his head. He’d have to see about getting them each a line instead of making them share. A year ago he’d figured it was a waste of money since the brothers were usually together, but now it didn’t seem like such a bad idea.

He sat on Tyler’s bed, which was as neat as Beau’s was rumpled, closed his eyes, breathed in and out. In and out. He and his nephews had not parted under the best of circumstances, and now he was afraid they’d done something stupid out of anger and spite.

He hoped they were stronger than that.

They would be back. He needed to get a grip and go catch up on his office work. If he could focus that long.

Focus on the road.
All her mother needed was another emergency to deal with. Jodie made an effort to slow down to the speed limit.
Focus, focus, focus.

She was eighty miles from Wesley when her cell phone rang. She was almost afraid to answer it.

“Jodie, it’s Margarite. Your mom is with your dad. He made it through all right. He’s weak, but…well, he’s doing okay.”

“I’ll be there in an hour,” Jodie promised, and then hung up, feeling like a bit of the weight had lifted. But she and her father still had some stuff to work out once he was strong enough. She just hoped it wasn’t too late. That she hadn’t screwed things up too badly by refusing to talk to him. What if she was the reason he’d had this heart attack?

No. If that was the case, she would have given him one a long time ago. She’d disappointed him enough during her life.

But she’d never before walked out on him.

The Wesley hospital was small, so Jodie was astounded that her father had had his surgery there. Her mother’s car was parked in the lot. Margarite was sitting in the waiting room just inside the door.

“Your mom is in with him.”

“He’s conscious?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you better sit down.”

“I want to see him.”

“The nurse will tell the doctor you’re here.”

Jodie slowly sat. Margarite reached out and patted her knee. “Does Sam know you’re here?”

“No.”

“Things are not so good there?” Jodie just shook her head. “That’s too bad.”

Yes, it was, but short of changing the past, there wasn’t much Jodie could do about it.

The big silver door leading to the ICU opened and Jodie’s mom came out, accompanied by a doctor wearing green scrubs. A second later Jodie was in her arms.

“It looks like he’ll be okay,” Nadine said in a teary voice. “There’s still the chance of infection and pneumonia, so he has to stay here.”

Jodie pulled back, looking down into her mom’s face, then up at the doctor who approached them.

“Can I see him?”

“Briefly,” the doctor said. “He’s probably going to conk out in a few minutes.”

Jodie went into the room to find her father surrounded by machines that all seemed to be blipping and beeping. Lying in bed, he looked smaller than before and his color was off. But he opened his eyes when she came close to him and touched his hand. The corners of his mouth tilted up and he managed to give her hand a slight squeeze before his eyes drifted shut again.

“He’s going to be out for a while,” the surgeon said from behind her.

“I’ll wait for him to wake up.”

Jodie spent the next several hours with her mother, who insisted on checking into the motel a block away from the hospital.

“It makes more sense than driving back and forth.”

“I’ll stay there with you.”

“Do me a favor,” her mother said. “Go back to the ranch and see how your father’s cows are doing. I know he’ll ask, and an eyewitness report will make him happy. Then pack me a bag for tomorrow and bring it to me. I’ll call if there’s anything you need to know.”

“Couldn’t Margarite—”

“She’s staying with her sister here in town.”

“I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“Right now…honestly, Jodie, I’d rather be alone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very.”

Jodie searched her mother’s face and could see she was telling the truth.

“Call if you change your mind. I’ll be here in half an hour.”

“I know.” Nadine hesitated, then stunned Jodie by asking, “Will you see Sam while you’re here?”

“No…we’ve ended our relationship.” Jodie looked her in the eye and had the oddest feeling she wasn’t fooling her.

“Go get some sleep, hon.”

“I will.”

Jodie wanted more than anything to ask her mother what to do, how to handle loving a guy she couldn’t have. How to live with having done the unforgivable. Instead she left her to her vigil and went out to the parking lot, where she found Sam’s vet truck parked next to her car.

Oh. Man.

“Sam…this is not the time,” she said, even as she was wishing with all her heart and soul that she could simply walk into his arms. Lean against him and absorb his strength.

“How’s your father?” His voice was filled with concern, which didn’t help matters.

“He’s going to be okay.”

“Can I do anything for you or your mom?”

Jodie simply shook her head.

“Stop shutting me out, Jodie.”

“What else can I do, since you refuse to take a hint?” she asked, suddenly angry that he was confronting her at a time like this. Didn’t she have enough stress? “Why would I go into a situation that’s been doomed to heartache from the very beginning?”

“Because we can work through it.”

“How many times did you tell me how important it is to you to keep the boys stable? To give them a healing environment?”

“I never said I didn’t want them to face challenges.”

“Challenges?” Jodie gave a sharp laugh. “Try hate and resentment. Did you see the letter Beau wrote me?”

Sam stilled. “What letter?”

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“What letter?”

She lifted her chin so she could look him in the eye as she explained. “Beau sent a letter to my law office, telling me exactly how he felt about what I’d done. Your nephew is very articulate.”

“When did you get this letter?”

Jodie gestured in frustration. “I don’t know. Two weeks ago, maybe? Not long after I got back.”

“Things will change.”

“They won’t change that much,” she insisted. People didn’t do an about-face. They held grudges and used stuff against you. They jerked you around.

Sam touched her shoulder and she jumped. “Jo…” His hand didn’t move, but stayed there, steady on her shoulder, maintaining a connection. Jodie kept her back stiff.

“Look,” she said fiercely. “I’m thinking of the boys and your family.”

“And I’m thinking about what a coward you are. The boys are strong enough to work through this. It won’t be easy or instantaneous, but I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t believe it was true.”

She shrugged, even though his remark made her furious. “Believe what you will.” Then she opened her car and got into the driver’s seat.

“People won’t stop loving you just because you make a mistake,” he said, leaning down to look inside the low-slung vehicle.

“Wanna bet?” Jodie asked through gritted teeth, shoving the key into the ignition.

“I’m not like your dad. You don’t have to meet certain conditions to be acceptable.”

She gave him a seriously cold look. “Well, aren’t you a saint.”

“No. I’m a regular guy running out of patience.”

“Good,” she said, turning the key. “When that happens, maybe you’ll come to your senses and do what’s right for Beau and Tyler.”