Once Forbidden (3 page)

When
he moved harder and faster, his fingers still holding hers, she shuddered,
unable to do more than feel. She used her inner muscles now, clenching around
him and driving him over the edge with her as she came with a shout of pure
pleasure.

When
it was over, she felt his weight collapse over her. She smoothed the damp skin
of his back, loving the feel of him. His breathing was quick as he held her
close.

Finally,
Devlin lifted his head. “Do you want this?” he demanded, giving her a thrust.

“I’ve
told you I do,” she said, looking into those bottomless green eyes.

“No,
I mean do you want this forever? Do you want me to change you so you can have
this whenever you want?” he asked, carefully not using any of his considerable
mind control abilities. It had to be her free choice.

Her
brow furrowed. “I just don’t know,” she said shakily. “I would never be the same
again.”

He
eased his weight off her and rolled to his side, bringing her with him, still
deep inside her. “No, it would never be the same. But you’d be as you are
now—forever.”

Chapter Two

Could
she do it? Could she let herself become what he was? How was it really
possible? Would he bite her, and then have her drink from him? She only knew
what she’d read in books. “What about my friends?” she whispered.

His
eyes narrowed in frustration. “You’d be with me, Sarah. For all time. I promise
I’d keep you too busy for regrets.” It was both a threat and a promise.

“And
I’d look like this?” she asked, touching the smoothness of her face.

“Yes,”
he promised. “You’d look just like you looked before the fire. Beautiful and
stronger than you can possibly imagine.”

“What
would happen?” she asked now, needing to know exactly what she was getting
herself into if she accepted his offer. “What if I changed my mind?”

“You
couldn’t change your mind. The change is permanent. But I promise you, you
wouldn’t want to change it.” He paused a moment. “As to the how. Likely what
you’re read in your books—that much is true. I would drink from you, and then
you would drink from me.”

Sarah
arched against him helplessly as he moved gently within her. She knew he was
trying to show her how wonderful it would be with him; but she was still
afraid. “I just can’t decide.”

“There’s
no reason to decide tonight,” he soothed. “We’ll talk again soon. Sleep, love.”

He’d
used his voice to force her to sleep. It would be a peaceful sleep, even though
he was feeling anything but peaceful himself. Her hesitation frustrated him,
even if he did understand it.

Devlin
climbed from the bed and paced. He wanted more from her, damn it. He considered
transforming her even without her consent.

But
he didn’t want her like that—even if it hadn’t been forbidden, it went against
everything he believed. The choice had to be hers. He wanted her to
want
to be with him. He looked at her as she slept. The scars hurt him; which was
surprising in itself. He thought he’d long ago shed emotions like empathy.
Admittedly, he was jaded.

But
with her, those feelings came to the surface. He’d wanted to make her life
wonderful. He closed his eyes. If it were within his power, he’d simply take
the scars from her. But, with all the powers he possessed, that wasn’t one of
them. The only way he could remove the scars was to transform her.

He
remembered when he’d been transformed. He’d been hurt in a carriage accident
over a hundred and fifty years before. One of the Elders had changed him. He’d
awakened whole again.

But,
he also remembered that Carina hadn’t asked him. She’d transformed him when
he’d been unconscious. He’d been livid and had sworn vengeance on Carina. It
had taken him a decade to adjust to what he’d become. Of course, he’d changed
his mind about revenge—he liked what he’d become. He was stronger in every
sense of the word. His powers were numerous. All of his senses were heightened
at least ten-fold.

He
could transform her without her consent; but he wouldn’t. He didn’t want her to
have those years of doubt and bitter rage. He’d thought the dreams would help. He’d
been giving her the erotic dreams almost from the first. They had made her
receptive to him, but he wanted her when she was fully cognizant of what she was
doing.

Tonight,
he’d given her the illusion of her previous beauty, and that hadn’t been enough
either. What more could he do to convince her? He was frustrated beyond belief.
Part of him wanted to take the choice from her hands, but that kind of act was
what the Hunters looked for. Even if he had been willing to change her without
the consent of the Elders—and Sarah herself. Never had he been so torn. The
Hunters were a serious concern—one he knew he needed to take into
consideration.

He
didn’t want to put her in the path of those evil creatures; humans that didn’t
understand their ways would hunt them down like animals. He’d managed to stay
off their radar and he planned to keep it that way. The transformation was
forbidden by the Elders, though, for just that reason.

The
Hunters were hoping that the vampire race would die out. Open hostilities were
rare today, though they did occur once in a great while. He sighed. Carina
would have the answer. He silently called her to come to him. He waited for her
to materialize before him. A vampire could ignore the calling, but he knew she
wouldn’t—as an Elder, she’d come. Humans weren’t able to ignore the will of a
vampire, but another vampire could.

“You
rang?” she said, her voice silky. She was dressed in all black. Her black hair
was flowing nearly to her waist. Her blue eyes were cool and missed nothing,
taking in the scene before her.

He
nodded once. “I need your advice,” he said. “But keep your other comments to
yourself.”

She
tilted her head, and a smile played on her red lips. “What was I going to say?”
she asked, her voice sultry.

Devlin
simply remained quiet until she chuckled. “All right, Devlin. What is it? You
want this woman?”

“I
want her,” he admitted quietly.

Carina
studied him. “And she resists?” she guessed.

“She
is unable to make up her mind,” he said stiffly, pacing again.

Carina
sighed. “So, you convince her, Devlin.” She looked at the woman. “Surely she
doesn’t want to remain like that?” she asked with a flick of her wrist.

Devlin’s
eyes followed Carina’s movement. “No, she doesn’t. But she doesn’t want to
become one of us, either.”

Carina
put her hands on her hips impatiently. “What is it you want of me, Devlin? If
you can’t convince her, your only two options are to forget her or to transform
her.”

Devlin
turned to Carina again. “She’d never forgive me,” he said quietly.

“No,
she likely would not,” she agreed.

Devlin
didn’t miss the flash of pain in her eyes. “I forgave you long ago, Carina,” he
said softly.

“No
matter,” she said firmly, brushing away the concerned tone. “So, what are you
going to do?”

He
sighed. “Give her more time, I suppose.”

Carina
softened. “Make her love you, Devlin. It is all you can do. If she loves you
enough, then perhaps she’ll agree.”

Dare
he risk it? Carina was an Elder. If she condoned his changing her, perhaps there
would be no repercussion from that arena.

Yet,
when a vampire loved, it was for all eternity. Did he dare let himself love
this woman?

He
sighed. It was very likely that he already did. “You’re right. Thanks.”

Carina
smiled sadly. “Call if you need anything,” she whispered and then disappeared,
leaving him to his thoughts.

Devlin
sat on the edge of the bed and watched her sleep. There would be time for him
to convince her.

Chapter Three

When
Sarah awakened, she was alone. She touched her face again and almost cried to
feel the scars still there, not that she’d really expected anything different. She
climbed from the bed, angrily swiping at the tears on her face. She wasn’t
going to cry. It had just been a dream. She walked into her bathroom, and
avoided the mirror.

As
she stripped for her shower, she felt the hot tears that refused to be
contained. She turned the water on and stepped inside the large cubicle. It
didn’t matter, she told herself. It wasn’t going to matter.

Her
life was different now, but it was far from hopeless. She had a good career as
a web designer and graphic artist, so it wasn’t like she had to go out and face
the public each and every day. She’d never really cared for sex, so she told
herself it didn’t matter that she’d be alone forever. Of course, no man had
ever done the things to her that Devlin did in her dreams.

“I
don’t care!” she shouted, the sound muffled by the blast of the hot water
shooting from the showerhead.

With
a whimper, she slid down the wall to the floor.
It did matter
, she
admitted finally. It was the damn dreams, she thought angrily. If not for the
dreams, she’d have been content. Even as she had the thought, she knew she was
lying to herself. She did want a life. She wanted love—wanted
to
love…or…at least she wanted sex. But who in their right mind would take a woman
to bed that looked like something out of a horror movie?

She
could hear the headlines now for
Maury
.
“Women too scarred to find
love”

Devlin
could feel her turmoil and was torn. He could go to her now. She was in the
shower so there was no danger of sunlight. He closed his eyes. If he went to
her, he didn’t think he’d be able to
not
change her; even if she hated
him as a result. Was he willing to give her up to see her happy once again?

Hell,
would she even be happy as a vampire? She’d never see daylight again. That myth
was true, though many of the myths were not. It would be cruel to give her the
illusion again. He knew that it had been the cause of this emotional crisis. He
didn’t want to cause her pain.

He
stiffened then.

No,
he was tired of being alone, and she was the one he wanted. He’d do whatever it
took to make her his. Damn it, he’d become a part of her life and make sure she
wanted to be with him.

His
mind made up, he closed his eyes and thought of her bathroom. Instantly, he was
there.

Devlin
could hear her sobbing in the small shower stall. “Sarah?” he whispered. To
hell with it. He couldn’t stand her pain and angrily pulled open the glass
door. “Enough!”

Sarah
looked up at him, her blue eyes dark and frightened. “I know I’m not dreaming.
Why are you doing this to me?” she asked brokenly. “Why are you tormenting me?”

The
broken look on her ruined face tore at him, but he shoved the thoughts aside.
“I am not tormenting you, Sarah. I’m here to give you a choice.”