ONCE IN A BLUE MOON (BLUEBONNET, TEXAS Book 2) (21 page)

Then reality crashed in on him.

The last few years
had
been real. The hair he had his hands buried in wasn’t Rhea’s, but soft curls that wound around his fingers like ivy. Gently, he untangled his hands and placed them on either side of his head.

What the hell had he done?
Ty’s heart raced, but for a different reason now. His stomach rolled over as a wave of nausea hit him. How much had he said?
God, had he actually said Rhea’s name out loud?
Bettina would kill him. Come up swinging any second now. And he deserved it. Eyes still closed he lay there, heart pounding so hard it hurt. He flinched, tensing up more when she moved. "Bettina."

Her voice was a low harsh whisper. "Don’t speak. Don’t you dare say a fucking word."

He reached for the lamp on his other side, blinking as his vision cleared and the demons he thought he’d banished scurried to darker pastures—for the time being.

Bettina. The pained expression on her face hurt worse than the iron skillet Rhea had once brained him with. "Oh my God, Bee. Oh God, are you okay?"

She laid down on the far side of the bed and turned her back on him with a sob that cut through him like a knife.

"Bee, I didn’t mean it. Please Bee. I’m sooo sorry."

She only cried harder. Scooting closer, he smoothed her hair away from her face. "Baby, please answer me."

"How could you? How could I be so stupid...fucking biggest mistake of my life!"

"I’m sorry." He was practically choking on his own tears. Ty cradled her, smoothed back her hair and kissed her neck. One became three as he firmly planted himself against her soft backside. An elbow in his ribs caused him to grunt in pain, then Bettina kicked and flailed her way out of his arms.

"Please forgive me if I’m not feeling frisky, Ty!" She climbed out of bed and snatched up her favorite pillow. His.

"Where you goin’, Bee?"

"The couch!" Her green eyes could have cut diamonds.

"Bee, please! Don’t leave."

"Quit calling me Bee, damnit!" The door slammed so the windows rattled.

Shit! Shit! Shit!
Ty sank back against the pillow and stared at the ceiling. He’d fucked up. Again. Worse yet, there was only one way to fix this, and he didn’t know how he could tell Bee—Bettina—everything.

How could he tell her about Rhea? What would he say? More importantly, what would
she
say?

He went to check on her but stopped at the bedroom door. She was crying. And there weren’t enough apologies in the world that he could give her. All he wanted to do was go pick her up and put her back in their bed. Instead, he silently closed the door and sat back down on the edge of the bed. He couldn’t talk to her until he figured out what to say.

What the hell was he going to do?

Almost five-thirty. Tim would be up. Ty quickly dressed and slipped out of the house, shivering in the cold early-morning air. Ty trudged across the road to Tim’s, quietly closing the back door so he didn’t wake Rene.

"What the hell are you doing up so early?" Tim frowned at him, then reached in the cabinet above his head for a cup.

Ty sat in the old-fashioned wooden chair, eyes on the linoleum. The place had begun to look worn and uncared for. Neither Tim nor Rene were much for housekeeping and it showed. Ty accepted the coffee and dumped sugar in.

"It’s a wonder you still have teeth putting that much coffee in your sugar," Tim teased.

Ty laughed. Coffee in his sugar. Very old joke. But it felt good to laugh and the joke fit like a broken-in boot.

"Ty," Tim sighed. "Last night your wife called Jessa a bitch in front of half the town. And I know it was close to three when you got home. It’s not even six now, so what’s up?"

Ty sipped his coffee, his mind racing. "How do you...think she’d take hearing...about Rhea and the abuse?"

"You haven’t told her?" Tim frowned.

"I didn’t want her to know—or anyone else for that matter! I still don’t want her to know! I have nightmares," he quietly confessed, pausing for another sip.

"Before, it was just about her and me, but lately it’s been about her hurting the baby." He looked up at his brother. "I saw her yesterday. Twice...when I went to get something to eat, then later at the bar...She was there and I had one...another nightmare a while ago."

"And," his brother prompted.

"It...shit. The nightmare
changed
. I-I thought Rhea was giving me head."

"Holy shit," Tim drawled softly.

"I said her name!" Ty was too embarrassed to look anywhere but at the table. He traced the plastic tablecloth’s pattern with his fingernail.

"Hoo
boy
are you in for some major ass-kissing."

"Maybe Dad was right. Maybe we shouldn’t have gotten married." He paused to rub his eyes, then his forehead. "She said it was a mistake."
The biggest fucking mistake.

"But if you tell her about the abuse—"

"I don’t want her to know!" He couldn't.

"I don’t see where you’ve got much choice. You think Rhea’s gonna snatch your happiness right out of your hands?"

Ty slowly nodded. "I know that’s all part of the anxiety, but I’m just waiting on the other shoe to drop." After this morning, it probably already has.

"She’s so upset right now, that if you
don’t
tell her, then Rhea wins. Just like in your dream. Can you see that, Ty?"

"Shit," he whispered, slumping in his chair. Tim was right.

"Betti up?" Tim’s own voice was barely above a whisper.

He shrugged. "I dunno. I think she was crying on the couch when I left."

"Go cook her breakfast and love on her a while. She’s not the type to hold a grudge, but plan on that ass-kissing. And think about what I said. For what it’s worth, I think she’d take the news about Rhea well. Sort of. You can’t expect her to
not
be upset but she’s not just anybody, Ty. She’s your wife."

"I know. And it’s not the same at all. Not like before." Ty nodded, giving his brother a small smile. "Think I’ll go for a ride first."

"You gonna be okay?"

"I just need to clear my head."
...figure out how to convince his wife not to leave him. And how to tell her that her predecessor used to wale on him.

Chapter Nineteen

LOVE STINKS

Damn, Ty Boudreaux had gone and broke my heart again.

At the sound of the front door opening, I laid perfectly still, hoping he’d go away. Jump off a cliff.
Anything
!

Instead, I got a very gruff, "Get up. We need to talk."

I rolled over and peered at Tim through a curtain of hair. "Get out," I croaked. I didn’t want to talk to anybody, especially my husband. I was still in a snit over Ty’s Perfidy.

"What do you want in your coffee?"

"Get the fuck out!" I rolled back over and pulled the covers up around my chin.

"I’m not leaving until we talk!" He yanked the quilt back.

I laid there a few more minutes then said, “Fine. Get me coffee, asshole."

He stood scowling down at me, shaking his finger in my face. "You and I got matters to settle."

"Didn’t your momma teach you it’s not polite to point?" I swatted at his finger.

Damn men!

According to the clock on my phone it wasn’t even six yet. Damnit! Damnit! Damnit!

Tim headed for the kitchen. I dressed and crawled back on the couch, ignoring his blatant frustration as he paced while I slurped down some hot coffee.

My pride and my heart hurt in equal measure and divorce sounded good.

One hundred percent, my ass!

No matter how much Ty gave me, it’d never be enough if I had to constantly play second fiddle to That Bitch.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"Why are you in my living room at not even six in the morning? Waking me up?" I croaked, cradling the cup in my hands. I hadn’t really been sleeping. Who the hell could sleep?

Tim paused in mid-stride and his head came up, a deer in the headlights look appearing in his blue eyes. "We have a problem, Houston."

"It’s ‘Houston, we have a problem.’ And what makes you think my problems are your business?!"

Sporting the scowl to end all scowls, Tim sat with a thunk on the table in front of me. "You love my brother?"

"I’m leaving him."

Rule Number Fifteen:
Love didn’t equal happiness.

"That’s not what I asked. He told me what happened."

"He tol—I’m going home
to my house
...today." My face was red hot and sweat prickled my underarms.

"Aw shit, Betti. You said you loved him. He ain’t perfect; none of us are. How could you do this to him? Just walk out!?" His anger left me near-speechless in shock.

But not quite. "Me? I’m not explaining—"

"—You know he had a hard time married to Rhea."

"Well that sure as hell didn’t seem to bother him this morning," I snapped.
When he was calling out her name instead of mine.

"Haven’t you realized yet, the worst thing you can do is leave Ty," he said softly. He’d gone from angry to begging. Begging me not to leave his brother. "If your marriage means anything, if you really truly love him like your friend Cassi said, stay. And fucking at least try, for the baby’s sake. Even if it means moving into a spare bedroom for a while."

 "Tim Caldwell, are you insane? First Jessa, and now you. How dare you think you can interfere in my marriage? Alright, fine, so I love him! I always have." I shook with rage. "But I can’t fight a ghost!"

"Now listen to me. He was really torn up when he came over this morning. At least give him a chance. Try and ride this out..." He tripped and stumbled over his own words. No mean feat for him.

"I never thought I’d have this chance, Tim, and now I feel like it’s gone." I sagged against the couch cushions, suddenly exhausted.

"It’s only gone if you want it to be gone."

I stared at him, trying to figure out what he meant. Just then, the front door opened.
My hero, home from the wars.

Despite the fact that I had nothing to feel guilty about, I
did
feel guilty sitting there talking about my husband with Tim. I opted for the offensive, before things got ugly, and nudged him hard with my foot. "Get out, Tim."

With a silent nod, Tim left, closing the door behind him.

I couldn’t even bring myself to look at Ty.

"I came to cook you breakfast in bed."

That got my attention. I looked. His cheeks were red from the cold. His hair practically stood on end, and he looked all rough in his jeans and flannels with a day’s growth of beard on his face.

"I have a real problem with other people knowing my business, Ty."

"I only told Tim because I needed advice. He won't tell anyone."

No one had ever brought me breakfast in bed before.

Ty stepped down into the living room and knelt at my feet. He smelled like outside and I wanted to bury my face in his hair, his neck, and kiss on him. "Why didn’t you tell me about your run-in with Jessa?"

"I thought we were discussing this morning."

"We will. But first...why didn’t you tell me?"

"I’m just used to handling things." I’d be handling things since I was eight. "And I didn’t want to make waves. We’d only been married two days. I’m the outsider—"

"You’re my wife. And it’s my job to take care of you." He squeezed my fingers and kissed my hand. "I’m sorry about this morning. From the bottom of my heart, I am so very, very sorry, Bettina."

"Sorry isn’t enough, Ty." I was the mother of his child, but I wanted so much more. Maybe I wanted too much. But he wasn’t gettin’ off that easy. I struggled catch my breath and finish what I had to say. "You hurt me, Ty. You promised to try and make this work and I don’t feel like you’ve lived up to that promise."

"You
are
my wife, the mother of my child, and you mean the absolute and complete world to me. I don’t want you thinking you made a mistake. And I don’t want you to have regrets. Please believe me—"

"—I don’t! I don’t believe you, Ty! You hurt me more than you could possibly imagine this morning."

"I saw
her
...last night after you left the bar."

Suddenly I felt sick and I wanted to scream at him to shut up. I didn’t want to hear anymore. I didn’t want to hear about That Bitch.

"I have these nightmares...about her. And I had one this morning...then you woke me up when you...this is so
fucking
asinine!" He wiped his face on his sleeve and looked up at me.
"I don’t want her!"

I couldn’t believe I’d heard him right. My heart stopped, then slowly started back up again. I waited while he took a couple deep breaths, wondering if he’d say more.

"You, Bettina...I will
always
give you my very best. I swear...on my life. But please don’t leave me." He dropped his head in my lap but he didn’t cry. I did.

I was such a fool. I wanted to believe him so badly, and there was every chance this would come back to bite me in the ass, but I was already in so deep, I’m not sure it mattered anymore.

"Do you mean it?" I leaned over and whispered in his ear.

"With all my heart."

I kissed his cheek and cradled his head. "Can I tell you something?"

"Do I want to hear this?" he whispered back.

"I think you do." My fingers glided through his hair as I searched for just the right way to say I love you without actually saying it. Saying the "L" word goes back to rule number ten. "No one has ever made me feel like you do, Ty."

"Swear?"

"Swear." I lifted his chin and kissed him, this time sliding my tongue past his lips. We had some making up to do. Ty pulled back and studied me, his hands stroking my cheeks. "I’m so sorry Bee—Bettina."

"You can call me Bee, but no one else." I took his fingers in my hand and kissed them, then stood and led him to the bedroom.

"Where’d you go?" I asked, unbuttoning his shirt.

"For a ride. Do you ride?"