Once More From the Top (The Women of Willow Bay) (12 page)

That husky voice so full of promise was almost his undoing. “God, I wanted us to savor this, but...” Then he was filling her, pulling back slightly as she gasped at the sensation, and slowly, sliding deeper.

* * * *

Carrie wrapped her legs around his hips, her muscles tightening around him. “Ahhh... yes. You feel so wonderful... so… wonderful.” Trembling with want, she ran her tongue along his collarbone, the blood surging in her veins.

With astonishing urgency, he slid his hands under her to clutch her behind and lift her to him. With a few whispered words, they found a rhythm, and she arched up to meet his thrusts, taking him in as deeply as she could.

Liam’s warm skin against hers, his heat filling her emptiness was all Carrie needed. His hands and mouth were everywhere. Kissing and sucking her tender nipples, his tongue laved her breasts. Lifting himself on one elbow, he put his hand between them, and his thumb found the hardened nub of her desire. She clung to him, relishing how he knew exactly where to touch. How to move inside her. She opened her eyes to find him gazing at her, his gray eyes almost black with passion.

“Carrie, my love,” he murmured.

She spiraled closer, her muscles contracting as she fell over the edge. His words turned into a moan and then he tensed as he cried out his own release.

SEVENTEEN

“Hey?” Liam whispered against her breasts.

Carrie raised passion-drowsed lids long enough to see his dark red hair against her skin. “Hmm?” Answering was an effort. She didn’t want to let go of the sated lethargy they’d fallen into in the aftermath of loving.

He ran one finger down the slope of her breast, then traced the curve of her belly. “I’m sorry. I know I’ve been a shit about Jack. I guess I see why you did it.” Liam’s breath warmed her skin. “Don’t like it, but I get it.”

“I don’t blame you for being angry, but I don’t think we could have made it back then.”

He raised his head and frowned but, when he drew in a quick breath of protest, she stopped him.

“No, listen.” She touched his lips gently with hers, then slid away from him to sit up. Braced against pillows and the padded headboard, she tried to explain. “I was too young to deal with your life. I could barely handle my own. You never could’ve given me all the security I needed after Dad died. I would’ve been insanely jealous of every concert, every fan, anything that took your attention away from me.”

“You wouldn’t have been so silly.” He stretched, then piled pillows to settle in next to her, his hand on her thigh. “You were way too mature.”

“No, I wasn’t.” She gave a short laugh. “Honestly, I don’t even know if I am now. And with a family in the picture, you couldn’t possibly have had the career you’ve had so far. That magical aura? Not with a wife and baby backstage. Surely you know that
.”

“I’d have given it all up in a heartbeat to have you and Jack with me.”

“I’m glad you think so.” Carrie kissed him. “I’m also very glad you didn’t have to make that choice.”

“Why?”

She leaned back against the pillows, running her fingers through her tousled curls. “You would’ve always wondered what could’ve been. Maybe one day you might’ve started to resent me. You keep saying I was so mature, but obviously, I wasn’t or I wouldn’t have tucked tail and run.” She watched fascinated as his fingers brushed her thigh.

Abruptly, he leapt out of bed, his damp skin glowing in the candlelight.

Her breath caught in her throat.

I’ve said too much. He’s leaving.

Panic set it. “What’s the matter?”

But he was reaching for his jeans, digging in the pocket.

“Liam what are you doing?”

He knelt on the mattress beside her. “Marry me, Carrie. We’ll make it work. Marry me.” In his fingers a perfect pear-shaped diamond solitaire set in platinum glittered in the soft light. “I want you. I want my family.”

“Oh, Liam.” Carrie’s world suddenly tilted on its axis.

“I love you. I’ve
always
loved you. I don’t even know what I expected when I saw you again. But you’re what I want. Your grace, your intelligence, your humor, your sexiness. You’re essential to me.” He gazed into her eyes. “For a long time, I pretended that wasn’t true. But now I know I need you in my life. I don’t want to spend another moment without you. I want the three of us to be a family.”

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, then swallowed hard to keep the tears from escaping. The effort was futile since she was both thrilled and scared to death. Wasn’t this exactly what she’d been dreaming of for years? Why did it suddenly feel hasty and overwhelming? Because it was so obvious he was afraid of losing her…and Jack. And could she blame him?

It may seem rushed, but was it? Truly? Hadn’t this been simmering for years? Why wait? They weren’t getting any younger, and besides, they had a son to raise. Why not do it together here by the lake? He could move here and they’d be a real family. Jack would have his father and she’d have Liam… at last.

Liam gently brushed her cheek with his thumb. “I sorta hoped you’d be happy about this.” He tipped her chin up and made her look at him.

“I
am
happy.” Her voice choked with tears. “I want to say yes to you. More than anything in the world.”

“Okay, then say yes.” Taking her left hand, he started to slide the ring onto her third finger.

But she grasped his hand, holding it both of hers. “I can’t. Not until Jack knows everything.” Bringing his fingers to her lips, she kissed them softly. “And not until… until
you
do.” She reached up to pull his head down to her kiss. “There’s something else you have to know.” Sniffing, she reached for a tissue on the bedside table before pulling the sheet up to cover her nakedness. It was a defense mechanism, but somehow it gave her courage.

“Really?” He clutched the ring in his fingers, his knuckles whitening as he visibly braced himself. “What else is there?”

Dear God, had she done this to him by not being honest from the first? Was he going to tense up, anticipating trouble, every time she needed to tell him anything? She gazed at him, her heart bursting with love and yet sick at what she was compelled to reveal. If she didn’t, she’d never be able to look him straight in the eye again, and that was no way to begin the rest of their lives together.

“What is it, Carrie?” The smile disappeared. “You said there were no more secrets.”

“I–I accepted money from Marty.”

“What?” His eyes narrowed. “You what? When?”

“After I found out I was pregnant.” She swallowed hard, determined not to sob her way through this. By God, she would hang onto some shred of dignity. “I called you in Vienna, I was going to tell you about being pregnant. But Marty answered.” She clutched the sheet closer around her as he watched, his face impassive. “I was confused, devastated, scared… Dad had just died, my life was falling apart, and Marty was… he was cold.”

“Did you tell him you were pregnant?” Liam asked sharply, color rising to his cheeks. “Has
he
known all this time?”

“No.” She shook her head vehemently. “I just asked to talk to you, that’s all. But he went off on me. Told me to leave you alone. Called me your protégé. Laughed at me. Even said that I wasn’t the first and I wouldn’t be the last.”

Liam’s jaw dropped and he started to speak, but she held up one hand.

“Wait. Let me finish.”

He nodded wordlessly. The ring caught the light from the table lamp as he clenched and unclenched his fist.

“I hung up on him. I knew then that we were done, and I was going to have to do this on my own. But a week later, I got a twenty-five-thousand-dollar check in the mail. Maybe he suspected. Maybe it was just insurance that I
would
leave you alone. I don’t know.” She laughed grimly. “I almost tore it up.”

Keeping her gaze on his face, she tried to read his expression. “I’m not proud of the fact that I kept it, but I had
nothing
. Not one single dime. Everything was sold to pay off Dad’s gambling debts. Eliot rescued my mother’s piano and Noah and Margie offered me a home here. I used some of it when I moved, but after Jack was born and I started playing at the bar, I replaced it. It’s been in an account in Jack’s name all these years. I thought about returning it to Marty, but I was scared if I did, he’d find me and—”

“And then
I’d
know where you were?” Liam’s voice was quiet.

She nodded and caught her lower lip with her teeth to keep it from trembling. “I never dreamed I’d be with you again. I couldn’t see any way Jack and I would fit in your life.”

“That bastard!” Liam slammed his fist on the bed before jumping up to pace. “That son of a bitch.”

“Liam, it’s done. You’re here.” Carrie extended her hand. “Now I can give it back to him.”

“Hell no, you’re not giving it back to him.” Liam’s face flushed as he stalked from the door to the bed and back again, dropping the ring on the mirrored tray on the dresser as he passed it. “He’s done, he’s out. I’ve already told him that, but this? It’s just one more time he manipulated me, interfered in my life to suit his own purposes.”

“
I
took the money.” Carrie yanked on the sheet and wrapped it around her. It trailed on the carpet behind her as she went to him. “
I
ran.
I
hid. My choices. Not his.”

He spun around, towering over her naked and powerful, his eyes shooting silver fire. “Forget the money. Keep it, donate it to charity, do whatever you want with it, but don’t give it back to Marty. That self-serving bastard. He knew you were different. You scared him to death because he knew I wanted you.” He grasped her shoulders, peering into her face, his gray eyes stormy. “I wanted you, Carrie. Do you hear me? You never left me. Not once.”

Carrie stared at him, the lump in her throat so big she couldn’t even swallow, let alone speak. He brushed the tears from her cheek with his thumb and pulled her against his chest, holding her as she wept.

When the storm passed, he stroked the hair off her face and gave her a puzzled smile. “Why were you afraid to tell me about the money?”

With a hiccup, she wiped her eyes on the corner of the sheet. “I didn’t want you to think I was the kind of woman who… who could be paid off like that. That I was a terrible person or a bad mother. The money seemed like… I don’t know… ammunition if… if…” She slid her eyes away from his, heat rising in her cheeks.

“If what?” He tilted his head to peer into her face. “If I’d decided to fight you for custody?”

Nodding slowly, she met his eyes again. “Yes.”

“Oh, baby.” He tugged her back into his arms and rubbed his cheek against her hair. “How did I turn into such a bad guy over the years? Have you been tucked away up here playing Dr. Frankenstein with your memories of me? Did you forget the day we made that kid?”

“No.” She slid her arms around his waist and breathed in the warm male scent of him, letting the crisp hair on his chest tickle her nose. “
That
day is crystal clear, but I’ve seen your life since then and what you’ve become. I’m so proud of you, so in awe of what you’ve accomplished. Your life is enormous. My own reality is very different. And quite small.”

With a sigh, he swept her up in his arms, carried her to the bed, and curved his body around hers. “We can expand your reality, Carrie,” he whispered. “Just say yes.”

“Slow down, my love.” She turned in his arms, untangling the sheet and tossing it aside. “You need to know Jack first.” Carrie longed to fling her arms around him and cry,
yes, yes, yes
, reassure him that she and Jack were his forever,
but the very thought of blending their lives overwhelmed her. Apprehension about how Jack would react on Sunday nipped at her mind even as she cuddled closer to Liam. “We’ve got time.”

“Okay, we’ll wait for Jack to make it official,” he said. “God knows I’m hell at waiting. I’ll wait forever if I have to. But for the record, I’d rather not wait another minute.” He captured her lips in a fierce kiss.

She met his tongue with her own as she curled her fingers in his hair. Several long blissful moments later, he lifted his head. Touching his lips to her cheek and then her ear, he murmured, “You are planning on saying yes, right?”

That deep, sensual voice sent a zing of rapture straight through her, quashing those tiny seeds of doubt that had already started to take root in the back of her mind.

This can work.
I’ll find a way to make it work.
I can’t lose him again.
After we tell Jack, we’ll figure it out.

Sliding down in the bed, she pulled him over her, wrapping her arms and legs around him and drawing his lips down to hers.

“Come here, Maestro.” She kissed him and then kissed him again. “The only thing I’ve got planned at the moment is making love to you.”

EIGHTEEN

“God, I’m nervous as hell.”

Liam’s gut twisted with apprehension while Carrie parked her Jeep in the pine-encircled lot at Lawson Music Camp. Pulling down the visor, he checked himself in the mirror, shoving his hair back, smoothing the collar of the lightweight tan sports jacket he wore over a brown T-shirt and jeans.

“Maybe I should’ve worn a tie.”

“Not with that outfit,” she teased as she pulled the key out of the ignition and gave him a bracing smile. “Come on, Liam, you’ve had dinner at the White House. This is one teenager. It’ll be fine.”

“I wasn’t the missing father of anyone at the White House.”

Sweat was trickling down his ribs.
Damn.
Opening the car door, he stepped out onto the gravel and inhaled the pine and cedar-scented air. Michigan smelled great—at least this part of it. He’d never been in a place so fresh. Another deep breath.

He was ready to face his dragons.

Why does it feel like that? I’m more terrified than I’ve ever been before any performance.

But this wasn’t a performance—it was real life. He was meeting his fifteen-year-old son for the very first time, and he had no idea what to expect.

Carrie—dressed in an airy tie-dyed skirt that swirled around her calves and a soft yellow shirt tied at the waist—met him behind the car and took his hand. “Take it easy. Or you’re going to make me nervous too.”

“Why should
you
be nervous?” he asked, squeezing her hand. “You’ve already met him.”

“You’re cute.” Wrinkling her nose at him, she gave his arm a pat. “I’m the one who kept him from you all these years. He may decide I’m the wicked witch of western Michigan.” Her smile faded. “Oh great. Now I
am
nervous.”

“Good. At least I’m not alone.”

He slung his arm around her shoulder as they walked slowly toward the rustic log structure that housed Lawson’s dining hall and offices. He scanned the area. They were early, so not many parents had arrived yet. Kids clustered around an open-air band shell perched on a hill behind the dining hall. Tidy cabins flanked the log building, nestled in the pines.

“
Damn,” he said. “This is a terrific facility.”

“The lake’s down there.” Stopping on the gravel path, Carrie pointed to the right of the band shell. “Basketball, tennis courts, and a baseball diamond are back there.” Turning, she indicated an area below the parking lot. “Dave encourages a lot of physical activity because most of these kids are more artistic than athletic. He tries to get them young so he can help them have some balance. Jack learned to play basketball and baseball here, as well as how to canoe. He loved it as a camper. He’s been so excited to be a counselor this year.”

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Liam tried to look as if he belonged as they approached the dining hall. Happy voices drifted out the screen door.

You do belong here. You do belong here.

The mantra looped in his head as he watched a curly-headed boy talking eagerly to a man who was obviously his dad. The meeting with his own son would be very different from the other fathers here today. A chill shuddered through him as they made their way around long tables to the offices at the rear of the building.

“Hey, you okay?” Carrie peered into his face as she pulled him into the hallway that led to Dave Lawson’s office. She had already called Dave from the car to ask if they
could meet privately with Jack for a few minutes. “You’re white as a sheet.”

Standing arrow straight in the middle of the hallway, Liam shook his head. “All the confidence I worked up on the ride here has suddenly abandoned me. What if he hates me? What if he hates both of us? He’s fifteen. Duncan says they’re very
strange at fifteen.”

“It’ll be okay,” she reassured him. “I know Jack. If he could go into a department store and pick out a father, it would be you.” With a wink, she added, “Well, or Eric Clapton or John Williams...
or maybe Dirk Pitt.” Lifting up on her toes, she planted a kiss on his lips. “Liam, he’s a warm, loving, generous kid. Just like his father.”

He hugged her and their lips met briefly again. “I hope... Dirk Pitt?” His brow furrowed. “Clive Cussler’s superhero? Seriously?”

“You might think about taking up scuba diving.” Giving him a wide-eyed innocent smile, she turned as Dave Lawson came out of his office.

“Hey, Carrie! Maestro! Great to see you!” He extended his hand to Liam. “My office is yours. I sent someone to get Jack. He’ll probably come in my back door. He’s up at the center.” Dave’s head tilt indicated the open-air band shell on the hill behind the big dining hall. He had to be curious, but he didn’t ask any questions, merely patted
Carrie’s shoulder and left with a quick smile.

After clearing his throat with a little nervous cough, Liam said, “I’m gonna wait out here so you can just... you know... prepare him…” Crossing his arms over his chest, he leaned
his back against the wall near Dave’s door.

She touched her lips to his cheek, then went in to see her son.

Their
son…

“Hi, baby,” she greeted Jack as he came through the back door of the office.

His auburn hair unruly, he was dressed in cargo shorts and a Lawson T-shirt, scruffy flip-flops on his feet. One of his big toenails was bruised.
Flip-flops.
Every summer, the kid had a black-and-blue toenail from stubbing his toes while wearing the silly things.

“Mom, hey!” He hugged her. “You’re early. Where’s Elly? Will he be here for the finale? Jelly Roll Morton.” His gray eyes, so like Liam’s, shined. “‘The King Porter Stomp.’ It’s epic!”

“I can’t wait to hear it. Eliot’s coming on his own. I need to talk to you, Jack.” She nodded to the sofa. “Let’s sit down, okay?”

“What’s up?” His eyes narrowed. “Is everyone okay? Uncle Noah? Aunt Margie?”

“Everybody’s fine, honey. I need to talk to you, that’s all. Can you sit?” Smiling, she patted the cushion next to her. “You’re towering over me.”

He obeyed. “What?”

Picking up his hand, she turned it over, matching it to her own. It was so much like Liam’s with a wide palm and long fingers. She was trying to find the right words. Swallowing, she started to speak but stopped.

In typical Jack fashion, he immediately began worrying about her. “Are
you
okay?” He asked the question, peering into her face, obviously trying to read her downcast eyes.

He was getting scared, she could tell, so she gave him a quick hug. “Yes, I’m fine. S–something’s come up that I need to tell you about.” With trepidation, she dove in. “I know I’ve never told you anything about your father, and now... well, now I need to tell you about him, okay?”

“Ohhhkaaay.” Jack sat back on the sofa, his legs stretched out in front of him, as he stared at her expectantly.

Carrie stayed perched on the edge of her seat. “This is harder than I thought it was going to be.” She gave a small nervous laugh. “Oh, hell, that’s a lie. I knew this was going to be difficult.”

“Maybe I can make it easier for you.” Jack crossed his arms over his chest.

When she gazed at him uncertainly, he simply gave her an enigmatic smile. “All right.” The knot in her stomach grew tighter. “Why don’t you?”

“Is Maestro Reilly my father?” Jack’s voice was husky.

Astonished, she almost fell off the sofa. “How do you know that?”

“Ha!” He pointed a finger at her. “I didn’t! But I thought I’d figured it out a couple of days ago. You just verified it for me.” Rubbing his face, he sighed deeply.

A sigh of relief?

Exactly the same stress move that Liam uses—rubbing his face, sighing.

Good God...

“How did... how did this even occur to you?” Carrie was still reeling from his revelation.

“Um... Mom... You don’t know this, but I’m sorta always on the lookout. Like when I see a guy about your age with dark red hair, I wonder if he could be my father.”

She caught her breath at that admission. Jules was right, Jack
was
curious.

Why shouldn’t he be? He had every right to know about his father.

Her throat tightened.

Jack stared at his feet as he spoke. “Dr. Lawson has posters plastered all over the camp of this guy who’s coming to conduct the benefit. I couldn’t stop thinking he looked, like... familiar, you know? Not only ’cause we’ve seen him on
Great Performances
—we never really saw that much of his face.” Putting one hand back on the table behind the sofa, he grabbed a large sheet of shiny paper and held it up.

Liam, his hair brushed back, one stray piece hanging over his forehead, smiled in a posed publicity photo.

She met Jack’s eyes over the poster.

“See?” He shook the picture. “Look at him. He’s familiar because he looks like
me
.” Jack set the poster down. “I got on the Web in the computer lab after I realized that and Googled him. And I—I found a bio that told where he grew up in Canada, that he’d graduated from McGill in Montreal, and
when
he taught there.” Turning sideways, he tipped his head to stare at her. “I knew you were auditioning in Montreal when your dad was killed.” He shrugged. “I did the math. There was a picture of him on the Web. From like, when he was a freshman at Juilliard.” Jack’s eyes got bigger. He shook his head as if to clear it. “Mom, seriously, it could have been a picture of me.”

He was smiling a little twisted smile that wrenched her heart. “Oh, Jack... Honey, I’m so sorry you had to figure this out by yourself.” In her lap, her fingers were laced together so tightly, they ached. She opened her hands and wiped them on her skirt. “I wanted to tell you. I did. So many times. But it seemed too complicated, an
d
and I didn’t want you to thin
k
to think...” She choked on the words.

They sat quietly for a moment, then he scooted over to put his arm around her. “C’mon Mom, it’s okay.” His big hand patted her curls.

Another Liam gesture.

“Oh, Jack...” She squared her shoulders—she needed to mom up and face this with dignity.

“Really. I’m okay with it. Honest. I’m glad it’s out.” He gave her a squeeze. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to ask you if I was right. I wasn’t sure what to do. I know you don’t like to talk about that time. I kinda thought I’d ask Elly today when he got here.” He patted her head again as if she were a child. “I guess I don’t have to now, huh?”

Carrie wiped her eyes. “I was wrong. I should have told you about Liam years ago. I guess I got too comfortable with just us. An
d
and I knew if I told you, I’d have to see him. I’m sorry.” The tears threatened again. Sniffing, she rolled her eyes in exasperation. “I was being a wuss, honey. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

“Forgive you?” He gasped. “That’s so messed up!” Shoving up from the low leather sofa, he paced across the small office, staring out the back door before he turned around to face her. “Mom, for me, finding out my father’s a famous symphony conductor is kinda like a kid on a basketball team finding out his dad plays center for the Bulls. I mean it’s weird, but it’s... awesome!”

“Seriously?” She blinked back tears and dug in her bag for a tissue.

“Well, yeah. But are you cool with him coming here? It’s been a long time since you’ve seen him, and I don’t know what happened between you two.”

He’s worried about me?

She couldn’t help feeling a twinge of parental pride mixed with a large dose of guilt as she blew her nose on the tattered tissue she’d discovered in her purse. “I’m fine with it. Really.”

“It’s kinda freaky him showing up here, isn’t it?” His eyes darkened.

“It’s not a coincidence. Eliot brought him here... for the benefit, but also for you. He wanted you two to meet,” she admitted. “He thought it was time. He’s right. It
is
time—past time.”

“So I
am
going to meet him while he’s here?” He sounded hesitant.

“Do you want to meet him?” She stared directly into his face.

“Yes,” he answered, but backtracked an instant later. “But... not if you have a problem with it. Really, we don’t know anything about him. It’s been a long time since you saw him. Maybe he’s a big douche who thinks he’s too cool for us.”

God, how I love this kid. Nobody has my back like Jack.

“He’s not a douche.” She shook her head. “What a word!”

“Why didn’t you tell him about me?” Now his curiosity had kicked in. “What happened? Were you in love or was it... just... like a... a hook-up?”

“A hook-up?” Carrie was a bit surprised at her son’s supply of information about the world. “We were in love. It definitely wasn’t a
hook-up
. He wanted me to go to Europe with him that summer, but my dad’s death changed everything and…” Pausing, she remembered the time with Liam in Montreal.