Once Upon a Misty Bluegrass Hill (36 page)

The curtain moved but Jolene could not see Father Dougherty on the other side
other than his
shadowed profile
.  She hoped he couldn
'
t see her either.  Her mother and father had taken her to
the
Church of the Annunciation
since she was a tiny girl.  She had gone to school at the adjoining
St. Mary
'
s
school. 

Now she only came on breaks. 
Maybe Father Dougherty would not remember her even if he could see her.

The Vance
Catholic
Boarding School had several church
e
s near them that the girls could cho
o
se from to attend.  Jolene had gone to St. Jude
'
s but it had never been the same as Church of the Annunciation. 

"
Child, tell me what troubles you.
"

"
I had sex with a man…I mean,
a man
I was
not
married to.
"

"
Many a good woman fall into this. You know that God will forgive you if you are really sorry and hopefully you will not let yourself fall again.
"

"
Well, that is just it father.  I am sorry in some ways, but not in others.  I loved him so very much you see.  We did it out in the pasture and everybody all over town knows and that is the part that I am probably the most sorry for.
"

There was a pause. 
Father Dougherty cleared his throat.

"
Well, you
mu
st
be sorry and do your penance…but perhaps the fact that it is all over town and you have suffered with this humiliation is your penance and will remind you why one must wait until marriage.
"

"
You mean I don
'
t have to say a hundred Hail Mary
'
s or anything like that?
"

Father Dougherty laughed
with soft compassion
. 
"
I think it would be good for your soul to say the Stations of the Cross
to reflect and
meditate about what you have done and what kind of woman you want to be.
"

Jolene hesitated.  What kind of woman did she want to be
?

"
I
think I might have
wanted revenge.  I hated his fiancé
you see
.  I think that makes the sin a lot worse.
"

"
Indeed it does.  But you said you loved him and was that not at the core of what you did more so than the idea of revenge or because you hated his fiancé?
"

Jolene searched her heart. 
Yes, she had always loved
Patrick
.  Probably from the first moment he came out of the mist on the hill so dark green it was blue
and looked at her with eyes the color of morning glories in spring.

"
Yes, Father, you are right.  I did it because I loved him.  Maybe the other things were just excuses to do something bad.
"

"
Go then, young lady. After Mass you can complete your Stations of the Cross and go with God from this day on.
"

"
Thank you
F
ather.
"
 

The
little
door slid closed and Jolene popped up off of her knees feeling as if the weight of the world had been lifted from her heart.

She quietly exited the Confessional and made her way to a pew to wait for
M
ass to begin. 

She sat there and looked around at the beautiful church.  The elaborate cross, the Stations that ran along either side of the Church where she had spent many hours reciting her Hail Mary
'
s and Our Fathers
...all of which gave her comfort and a new balance
. 

The church got more and more crowded. 

Big Catholic families. 

She always wanted a big family
too
. 
She and her parents had come to this Church and sat together as a family.

Oh how she missed her
momma and daddy
.

Would she ever find a man to match
Patrick
?

That jerk!

A Hispanic family filed in next to her.  Jolene smiled and moved
into the pew as far as she could go
to give them space
.

Jolene let the memories of
her family
wash over her like a warm ti
de
. 
Her
daddy
held her hand when they went into the Church.  They had wanted more children but Jolene
'
s
mamma
was unable to carry them for very long.

A man slid in the pew next to her. 

His familiar scent immediately assaulted her.  She turned her head
unable to believe her senses
.

He met her gaze
with
eyes of
smoky violet. 

She glared at him. 
"
What are you doing here?
"
s
he whispered. 
"
And why did you have to sit next to me?
"

"
I go
to
Church Jolene;
my mother
would
not like it otherwise,
"
  h
e whispered back in a dark brandy voice and chuckled. 

She jerked her floral skirt from under his pant
s
leg.  He was dressed in a suit without a tie.  All the women were craning their heads to stare at him. 

She started to stand up and move away from him but a quick glance told her that all the seats were filled.  Besides, why cause yet another scene?

"
Where is your girlfriend?
"

"
Not Catholic.
"

Jolene laughed a soft devious laugh. 
"
I bet your mother loves that part.
"

"
My mother knows all about Leona.  It is a negative, but she has a lot of other positives.
"

"
Like being a horrible snob?
  How about being a ….well…I better not say it in Church.
"

He leaned closer, his heat penetrating her
lavender
cotton shirt that matched her floral skirt. 
"
Jolene…please, I want us to be friends at least. 
After everything.  I know it was my fault
.
I am old enough to know better
.
  I have made peace with Leona but I need to make it up to yer.
"

Jolene could have died then and there. 
"
Shush
Patrick
.
P
lease, this is no time to be talking about this!  We are in
CHURCH
after all!
"
  Her voice was a hiss in his ear.

"
Jolene…
"
  The organ started playing and the
altar
boys walked solemnly to the front of the church followed by Father Dougherty carrying the intricate cross that Jolene had memorize
d
in detail from childhood.

There was no more conversation.  Just the ritual.  It had been done a thousand times in Jolene
'
s life. 
And for hundreds of years before that.  Exactly the same…except perhaps in the old days it was in Latin. 
Jolene
had learned the meaning of each
ritual
and took care with them until today
where she was distracted by
Patrick
sitting next to her.

The brush of his leg when they knelt.

The sound of his
baritone voice when he sang age-
old, familiar hymns
. 

Lust in the Church…..y
et another sin to stain her soul.

She would be back to see Father Dougherty again next week.

All because of
Patrick
.  Again.

And
Patrick
hadn
'
t taken Communion. 
After the mass
he
left. 
Leaving her sighing with relief and deflated anticipation.

Jolene pulled out her Rosary.  She could put extra effort and meditation into the stations of the Cross
to
make up for her distracted, lustful thoughts during Mass.

Jolene went to the first scene and began.  By the time she arrived at Agony in the Garden she had almost completely forgotten
Patrick
and floated in her world.

"
You went to Confession because of what we did.
"
  His dark whisper
slid over her.  Jolene jumped up from her knees
,
her Rosary dropping from her fingers
.

Her heart pounded and she glared with the worst scowl she could manage. 
"
How dare you
Patrick
!
"
s
he whispered
ferociously
.
 

She reached down and plucked up her Rosary at the same time
Patrick
determined to do the same thing.

Their fingers met.  Jolene jerked her hand back from his. 
Patrick
folded the Rosary inside of his fist.

Furious, Jolene put out her
hand with the palm up. 
"
Give it to me right now
Patrick
,
"
she whispered fiercely.

He took her outstretched hand into his free hand. 
"
Let
'
s go outside ter talk.
"

"
No, I don
'
t want to talk.  There is nothing to talk about.
"

"
All the same, if yer want yur Rosary you must hear me out.
"

Patrick
pulled her gently from the Church. 
Despite her stiff, reluctant step, h
er hand sizzled under his palm.

They hit the
hot
afternoon sunshine with squinting eyes.  Most of the parishioners had already departed leaving the tree lined courtyard
nearly
empty. 
Patrick
led her down the steps out to
a large oak tree.

Jolene yanked her hand from his. 
"
Now, say what you want to say
Patrick
and give me back my Rosary so I can leave.
"

Patrick
looked at her with sad morning glory eyes. 
"
I am sorry f
or
what I did to yer.
"

Jolene felt the blow of anger hit her
fast beating
heart. 
"
Let
'
s get one thing straight
Patrick
, I am a grown woman.  There is no
'
what you did
'
, it was what we did….both of us.
"

Patrick
turned his hand and opened his palm to look at the Rosary. 
The crystal beads sparkled in the dappled sunlight. 
"
I was much older than yer and yer were in my care.
"

Jolene
tore her gaze from him and
paced around the tree. 
"
I was and am a grown woman
Patrick
.
"

"
You weren
'
t a grown woman because yer were never with a man.
"

Jolene sighed and stopped to stare at
Patrick
'
s beautiful face.  She had loved him always
.  If it was going to be with anybody and a sin…she would not have picked anyone else
. 
She missed him like hell.  He had become everything to her, her entire family all rolled into one. 
"
Everybody has a first time, even grown women.
  Maybe it was a mistake for you, but it wasn
'
t for me
Patrick
.
"