One and Done (Two Outta Three #2) (22 page)

Chapter 31

Radio silence.

You’d think after five years of enduring it, a day would be nothing.

Well, it wasn’t.

The next day was horrible. Actually, what’s worse than horrible? Torture? The plague? Whatever was worse I was there.

Waiting sucked.

Not hearing anything sucked.

Everything sucked.

I dragged my feet around the house waiting for a non-existent call or text amidst my mother’s prying eyes and the arrogant smirk on Michelle’s chapped lips.

“Broken heart, eh?” The fiery redhead slyly mused as I shuffled past her in the kitchen.

I pressed my lips together and tried my best to ignore her, focusing my attention on grabbing a box of orange juice from the fridge and drinking juice straight from it. It had been years since I did something so juvenile, but I just wanted to give Michelle anything to comment on that wasn’t about my fucking love life. Placing the carton of juice down, I turned and eyed her methodically. There must have been something on my face that said, “Don’t mess with me,” because soon enough she backed away, hands held palm side up.

Guess I still have some of that high school bad boy left inside of me.

That was basically how it went for the rest of the day. Michelle stayed away from me and my phone remained silent. I attempted to keep myself busy and even went so far as to log into my restaurant’s main email, but nothing helped push the lead weight off my chest. I was just about ready to pack up and say goodbye to Bethel Falls for good when something particular happened. My cell phone buzzed.

“This better not be a dumb trick,” I muttered, desperately.

I wheeled myself away from my laptop and basically launched myself onto my mattress. The years’ old springs groaned under my weight and sudden movement…or rather, from the thrashing of my heart against my rib cage. Wincing, I lifted up my phone and gulped before skimming the text message.

“Here goes nothing,” I mumbled.

Five years is a very long time and since this may be the last time I speak to you for another five years I just wanted to say…Thank you for the years of friendship. I wouldn’t be who I am today without you and I appreciate that. I know it sounds weird, but you actually taught me to aspire for what true love could really be. As inexplicable as it is, I can’t help but think that my inability to form relationships was due to the fact that I compared them all to you. Thank you for setting that bar for me and thank you for loving me, even if it was in your own special way. Goodbye again, old friend.

I blinked a few times, allowing her words to sink into my brain. I let out a sudden whoosh of air that I didn’t know I was holding. That is definitely not what I thought she’d say.

But what did I really think she would? That she’d follow me to Charleston? That we’d be a couple after all the bullshit I knew I had put her through?

“Stupid as always.” I sighed and glanced over at my luggage. At this point, leaving town was the only way to salvage what was left of my sanity. It may have been a selfish thing to do, but that was my strong suit, right?

Thinking better of it, I decided the least I could do was write a response back.

“What can I say that is deep, but not…” My voice trailed off. But not what? What could I say?

Rolling my eyes, I typed:

There are too many things to say for a text message. Meet me at the beginning of the end. Let’s talk.

Chapter 32

Okay, so I admit I may have been a little bit overdramatic, but honestly I needed to speak to Rocky—in person—and there was no other way I could bring myself to actually ask her without making myself feel too vulnerable. I admit, I may have been a bit brash, but it got my point across and for that I was happy. Of course the one thing I didn’t think about was how cold it would be meeting her outside on the football field, but hey, you win some you lose some.

It was nearing ten o’clock before I heard the crunching of footsteps making their way toward me. I stupidly overestimated her willingness to see me—or in the very least the time it would take her to read my text—and had been freezing my ass off on the ice cold metal bleachers for almost an hour. By the time I heard her light steps echo in the night, I was basically a blue popsicle.

Then suddenly, there she was…

The moonlight shined on her face, illuminating her soft elfin-like features, which was quite fitting since she’s always been magical to me. Her movements were graceful as if she were dancing to a silent melody playing specifically for her.

I gulped and heard myself call out, “Hi, Rocky.”

She didn’t respond and merely continued walking in my direction. She hugged her body tightly and once again I regretted asking to meet out in the freezing field. Her red pea coat only reached up to her mid-thigh and I felt a sudden urge to wrap my body around hers to keep her warm. Imagining our night in Charleston, my body temperature spiked a few more degrees. Shaking away the thoughts—though I really didn’t want to—I straightened my shoulders and commented, “Lady in red again, I see.”

She glanced down at herself and shrugged. “Not planned. It’s like the only winter coat I own. I really should buy more, considering how shitty the snow has been recently.”

“You hate the snow, I see,” I replied, not knowing what else to say.

“That cartoon Ice Queen can suck it.”

I couldn’t help but smile and watched as she made her way carefully up the bleachers. I was perched at the top, which probably wasn’t the safest idea. I anxiously watched her climb, letting out a sigh of relief when she neared me. “Please sit down.”

To my disappointment she sat a few inches away, as if feeling a need to put space in between us. “You wanted to see me?”

The icy tone in her voice threw me off. It was as if she were speaking to a stranger…but that was what I was, right? I frowned and pressed my hands together, desperate to feel some semblance of warmth even if it wasn’t from her. “What happened, Rocky?”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “Um, you walked out on me again and—”

I could have laughed, but chose not to. I could have screamed, but I didn’t. Instead, I whispered, “That’s not what I meant. I mean how did I fall in love with you? I was never supposed to fall in love with anybody.”

She stammered, “I…I don’t know how to answer that.”

Before I lost my nerve, I continued to speak. “I was never a fan of love. All my life my parents were on some…dysfunctional bullshit. I thought finding someone special was just a stupid myth invented by the greeting card companies of the world.”

“Wow, never pegged you for a conspiracy theorist,” she replied sarcastically.

And just like that, something switched off in my head. I guess that’s what happens though, right? When you’re diving into your subconscious you start being unconscious. If somebody asked me what I said and what she said, I’d never be able to let them know. It wasn’t until I heard the word, Charleston that I snapped myself back into reality. You see, love with Rocky was always a dream—even when I actually had it, it still felt as if I was living in a fantasy world. It was probably why I never allowed myself to claim it—I knew I’d just wake up. However, Charleston was an entirely different reality and one we needed to face if we both wanted to move on once and for all. Unfortunately, Rocky confessed she didn’t plan on following me…at least not yet.

“Admit it. You were never going to come back, were you?” Rocky demanded in an accusatory tone. Her fingers clenched and unclenched helplessly. “If your mom didn’t get sick…You had your new life in Charleston. You weren’t ever going to stay here.”

“No,” I confessed.

She bowed her head and frowned. “Life happens.”

“Life happens.”

She paused for a beat and looked up at me quizzically. “You were always planning on finding a nurse for your mom, weren’t you? That’s why you came back to begin with.”

I bit my lip and sucked in my feelings of guilt. “I did want to take care of her, I really did…but she and I both knew it wasn’t going to work. I mean, a person can only take being called a mistake or stupid so many times.”

“I–I—” she stammered before I cut her off.

“From day one she and I started picking nurses together. It was about the closest mother and son activity we ever did since she bought me that flask when I was sixteen. I know I should have tried harder to salvage whatever relationship we have, but I can’t.”

Her eyebrows furrowed together and her jaw worked, as if she were fighting back the words the threatened to spill from her mouth. She lost the fight. “You told me you purposely took the job to see me. Did you think anything was going to happen between us? Were you going to try?”

I took a moment before I answered. “I wish I could answer that. In all honesty—and you know this—I was afraid we didn’t know each other anymore. That you were just a figment of my memory, the picture hanging on my wall. But I was wrong. The moment I saw you I knew I had never once stopped loving you and I was going to try my hardest to finally win your heart…of course throwing fleshlights at your face probably wasn’t a good idea,” I added jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood.

“Now that you mentioned it, I was always wondering if you actually bought those for the occasion.”

“No, they’re from my own personal stash,” I replied with a straight face.

“What?”

I burst out laughing. “I’m kidding! Ew, do you really think I’m into all that? You’ve seen my apartment. No floggers and handcuffs there, right?”

I didn’t realize the innuendo in my words until I noticed Rocky’s cheeks reddening and caught myself wondering if any other part of her was flushed.

Whoa there, buddy.

Shaking it off, I gulped. “No, I got it from the Hard Shack. Have you ever been there? Good people. Really nice. Just told them I needed some merchandise for a business pitch.”

“Oh, God.”

“The box is still in the Dungeon if you ever need it.”

“Ugh, I’ve got to take that out of there before my parents find it.” She shook her head as if she were angry, but even she couldn’t hide the amusement on her face. That amusement was fleeting, though. Soon her smile faltered and a look of sadness washed over her. I grabbed hold of her hands just as she mumbled, “The beginning of the end.”

“What?” I grabbed her hands with a death grip, worried that reality was once again flooding around us.

“Is this why you asked me to meet you here? Is this the beginning of the end all over again?”

Was it? What was next for us?

I didn’t have an answer for any of those questions so I replied with what has got to be the stupidest thing of all. “We tried, Rocky.”

Her eyes darkened angrily. “Did we? Because it seems to me all we did was mess with each other’s minds, say we loved each other and…”

“Sleep together?” I asked quietly.

“Yeah. How is that trying?” She sighed.

I glanced down at our interlocked fingers. Even in the cold night, everything seemed so warm and perfect with her. It seemed so simple. So why wasn’t it?

Feeling a surge of anger, I decided to give a big ‘fuck you’ to the universe. With a vice grip still around her, I pressed, “Let me ask you this, what do you want us to be?”

“I…I don’t know how to answer that.”

Nope, she was not getting out of this one. “Let me rephrase the question. Did you just want us to be a one-night fuck or something that means a lot more?” I let out a slight breath when she tore her hands away from mine.

“You know the answer to that,” she snapped accusingly.

“Well, the feeling’s mutual, Rocky.” I smiled at her softly and motioned between us. “I want this to work as much as you do, but how will that happen if we’re both not willing to budge? We’re both freaking stubborn. We always have been.”

A distant look filled her eyes, one of longing and sadness. Briefly shutting her eyes, she shrugged her shoulders slightly. “I don’t know what to do. How does any relationship happen? Honestly, I haven’t even been in one long enough to know how it all works.”

“What do you mean?” I asked glumly, thinking about Ethan.

“I’ve dated, yes. I’ve tried to make things work. Nobody ever lived up to the image I had of you, though. Even Ethan…” She shook her head and let out a soft chuckle. “Even from a young age I knew you were different. You made me feel things.”

“Horny?” I wagged my eyebrows up and down suggestively, laughing when she punched me in the shoulder.

“No! I mean, you made me feel like I was brave enough to do anything. You made me feel alive and passionate. I never had that excited feeling with anyone before. I felt…”

I squeezed her hand. “Like what?”

She swallowed visibly and looked up shyly. “That you complemented me well. Does that make sense?”

All at once my heart felt as if it awakened once more, its beat strengthened. “It does…”

“You’re leaving soon, aren’t you? That’s why you asked me here. To end things before they begin.”

Images of my packed bags flooded my brain. I would be leaving soon. It was always the plan and as a responsible adult it was also something I had to do. Now as I stared into Rocky’s big brown eyes I realized it wasn’t something I wanted to do anymore. But that’s how it always was, right? Once you’re an “adult” or whatever the fuck that word meant, you’d be forced to do things you didn’t want to do for the greater good.

Fuck being an adult.

I shook my head profusely. “No, it’s not. I asked you here so we could put an end to the bullshit we’ve been feeding each other and actually build on a beginning. I don’t expect you to move right away, nor would I want you to expect me to move back.”

“So what do you want? Is this goodbye or not?” she asked almost desperately.

My throat felt dry and scratchy as I forced the following words out: “It’s a see you later.”

A sheen of water glassed over her beautiful eyes. Her nose began to redden and though I wanted nothing more than to place a soft kiss on top and tell her it would be okay, I was not a fortune teller; I didn’t know if it would or not.

“When are you leaving?” she squeaked.

Initially tonight. “Tomorrow.”

“So soon?” she ground out.

I swallowed. “I have a business.”

Her voice wavered. “I know…it’s just hard to think of you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Not the Jesse from high school.” I could almost hear the pride in her tone.

I gently grabbed onto her body and turned her toward me. “I still think we’re the same people deep down. Better in most ways, but the same in some. That being said, I think you’re right. Despite our history I think we need to get to know each other again. The people we are now.”

“Jesse Tyler is actually agreeing with me?” She giggled softly.

“What I’m saying is that we can continue this, but we’d have to do it the right way. We both can’t expect something gargantuan just yet. It’s not fair to either of us.”

“So what does this mean for us?”

I paused for a beat. “I guess it means we take it slow. Do the long distance thing for a while, and maybe if things turn out well, we’ll figure out what we want to do.”

“Maybe?” she practically sneered.

“When things turn out well.”

She looked down at her feet, leaving me guessing what she was thinking.

Look at me, Rocky. What’s going on in that mind of yours?

After an excruciating few seconds, she finally spoke. “Take it slow, huh? I guess that’s smart. Like I said, sometimes I feel like I know you so well and other times I don’t.”

“I think that would be the most responsible thing to do, right? The most adult?” Again, I say fuck being an adult!

“Yeah, I guess…Wow.”

“What?” I lifted an eyebrow.

A mischievous expression washed over her face. “I kissed, attacked you, and slept with you before an official date. Seems to me that I don’t know the meaning of taking it slow. Guess grown-up Rocky is a vixen, isn’t she?”

“Oh, you have no idea.” I grinned and ran my fingertips along her cheeks—the way only I would touch her. We were going to be fine. I was sure of it…

Now, I could tell you what we did afterwards—go into detail about our promising kiss or the way we joined together. Hell, I already told you about that night in our apartment! However, this one was different. Not that our first time sleeping together wasn’t anything short of special and wonderful, but this…this was unlike anything I’ve experienced before. Whereas the first time was admitting to something we’d both kept secret for years, this time was a promise of love, hope, and a future. I wouldn’t feel right going into detail about that, but I will tell you something I told Rocky…