Read One Less Problem Without You Online
Authors: Beth Harbison
She thought of a warm bed with a down comforter and the even warmer body of a beloved boyfriend, a Netflix queue filled with unwatched episodes of a favorite show.
She imagined a cooking mother and a happy, chatting child at the counter and a cup of warm, creamy coffee.
Even an empty house, a record player in the corner, a good book, and a chair with a glass of midday Who Cares, It's Sunday wine.
All of the things that could stop people from needing to leave the house and find out where they would be at any point in the future. Why would they need to wonder? Those imagined characters had time, love, security. They didn't have stomach-plunging misery to revel in or to unsuccessfully distract themselves from.
The door jingled, and Chelsea looked up to see Prinny coming in with a woman she didn't recognize.
She shot up, jumping into character. More
psychic in tune with the world
, less
mopey, aging barely-was actress
.
Luckily, she got to be dramatic either way.
Chelsea rose and smiled at the two women. Both were soaking wet from the weather, and the stranger looked utterly miserable.
Prinny held out an introductory hand. “Chelsea, this is my sister-in-law, Diana.”
Relaxing, Chelsea put on a smile. “Hi, Diana.”
“Di,” she said, with a tight-lipped smile that lacked even the slightest shadow of joy.
Chelsea was startled. “I'm sorry?”
The woman's face registered the misunderstanding. “Call me Di. Or Diana. It really doesn't matter. I don't even know why I said anything.” She looked disproportionately distraught about her name, but it was obvious that wasn't really the issue.
It didn't take psychic ability to tell that this woman was in the lowest of the lows. It was so obvious that Chelsea wanted to simply ask, as she might have asked even a stranger in her bubblier days,
What's wrong? What's happened?
But instead she sat back down in the chair and watched as the women took off coats and boots. Not only had she lost her bubbles lately, but she knew that sometimes people simply did not want to discuss whatever was making them feel noticeably bad.
“I'm not seeing much business for today,” said Prinny. “The streets are flooding. Fifty is closed under the Memorial Bridge thanks to flooding, and the GW Parkway is a mess. I would be amazed if anyone decided to stop and walk around M Street today.” She stepped into the back and grabbed two towels. She handed one to Diana and then started patting down her long, damp hair.
“Yes, we've had a few cancellations and one missed appointment so far,” said Chelsea.
Unlike back in her waitressing days, the idea of no business for the day sounded pretty appealing.
Di looked like she was in a haze. She moved slowly, drying herself off in such a vague way that she appeared almost to be in a trance, copying Prinny's movements.
Chelsea gave Prinny a questioning look, and Prinny raised her eyebrows in an expression that said,
It's a doozy
.
After the two of them were as dry as they were going to get, they sat down in the other chairs.
“Would either of you like some tea?” asked Di.
Chelsea was confused. That was an offer usually reserved for the hosts. Also, she didn't think they even had any tea. Perhaps she was hinting that
she
would like some.
“I don't know if we haveâ” she began.
“Diana makes teas and tinctures,” Prinny explained. “I actually think she could be a really good addition to the shop. Remember how we were just trying to come up with something, Chelsea?”
Chelsea nodded. Of course she did. Suddenly Prinny not only had a magical herbalist but it was her gloomy Eeyore of a sister-in-law?
Seems like that would have come up during the original conversation if it was really a legit idea.
But it was none of Chelsea's business what Prinny did with the shop. As long as it stayed open, Chelsea was glad. It was the bulk of her income (a very sad statement, and the kind of thing Maria Kingston would probably never have to admit to).
“I think you could have a new career at hand, Di,” Prinny went on with false cheer.
“I haven't had a career in God knows how long.”
It'll never work â¦
Glum from
Gulliver's Travels
came to mind.
There was an awkward silence that Chelsea filled almost immediately from discomfort. “Well, what of it? No time like the present, is there?”
Was
there? What was she saying? She didn't even know what this woman was doing here.
Prinny straightened her spine. “I don't want to push, obviously. But you were saying you need to do
something,
so ⦠why not give it a try? Can't hurt, can it? We're looking for cool things to do with the space next door. It's so small that it'll sit there forever, looking vacant and bringing down my own real estate here. A tea shop. An apothecary. Maybe we can make our own incense, wrap some sage. Get some palo santo wood.” Prinny's eyes shut in a way Chelsea had seen only a few times but recognized at once.
She was seeing something.
Seeing
seeing.
“In fact, the roof is flat on that property, we could even”âshe looked suddenly like she was puzzling something outâ“maybe have a garden up there. Grow our own ingredients. Some, at least.” She opened her eyes, then looked slightly embarrassed.
Prinny always looked apologetic after falling into one of these moments. Visions. Whatever you wanted to call them.
Chelsea wished she and her boss were closer so she could give her a look that told her it was okay.
Instead, she shifted her gaze to Diana, who had clearly noticed the slightly unusual brainstorm Prinny had just had.
“Leif told me about your⦔
“Gift,” Chelsea filled in when she looked for the word.
“Your gift, yes, he told me about it. I mean, I realize where we are”âshe gestured around at the shopâ“but I'm not sure if it's common knowledge that you are the real deal?”
Prinny laughed. “This would be a bad place to try and keep it secret.”
Diana smiled. “True.”
“If you're going to hang around, get ready to get freaked out sometimes, that's all I can say.” Chelsea smiled. Her comment loosened up the room a little.
“Well, if you're serious, or thirsty, I've got a couple of things in my bag here⦔ She unzipped her purse, suddenly having a bit more energy and enthusiasm than she had walked in with. “Let's see ⦠I have one for relaxation, one for energy, one for intense stress relief⦔
“Last one sounds pretty great right about now. In, you know, life.” Chelsea laughed.
“I don't know about that one. It's really strong. Strained kava. Think Xanax meets peyote. Not the sort of tea you drink if you want to function at high speed.”
Chelsea looked at Prinny. Half asking permission, half communicating that their day was basically shot anyhow.
The rain got louder and heavier, as if on cue. It slammed into the storefront as if it were coming from a collection of fire hoses.
Prinny shrugged. “My brother is an asshole, and you look like you haven't gotten more than a couple of hours of sleep in the last month.” This last part was tossed maternally in Chelsea's direction.
She simply shrugged. “And I didn't get
Neverland
.”
Prinny stood to turn off the
OPEN
sign. “Honestly, too-intense stress relief sounds like something we could all use.”
Twenty minutes later, they were all sitting in the chairs, clutching steaming ceramic mugs while the rain spit miserably onto the window and sidewalk outside.
They made small talk about things going on in town recently, but all the while Chelsea was dying to ask what exactly Diana was doing here and what her problem was.
She wasn't even halfway through her tea when she started to feel her muscles loosen and untangle. Stress seemed to scatter like tiny beads and then disappear. She felt slack and lazy, but peaceful and awake. Her brain was thinking efficiently and at a pace that didn't send her tension through the roof. Usually her mind was racing at ten miles a minute, thoughts coming at her in a useless fast-forward. Hard to understand, yet quick to tighten her nerves.
But right now her brain was ambling at an easy pace. She felt almost like she was floating on a cloud. She had to admit, the tea
was
strong. Or maybe it was the power of suggestion. Whatever it was, Chelsea really did feel a little drugged. Not in an unpleasant wayâshe could certainly have walked to the bus stop and made her way home, but she would rather curl up and take a nap. It had been a long time since she'd been this relaxed.
Whatever it was, she would be buying some.
Chelsea glanced at the other two. Prinny was staring at the ground, looking thoughtful. Di's eyes were shut, her brow knitted.
Chelsea's inhibitions began to abandon her. She took another sip and asked, “So what is going on, Di?”
Prinny stiffened.
Diana opened her eyes and tilted her head. “I'm sorry?”
“Well ⦠I know the look of someone who's chewing away on a problem and can't let go, even in a crowd.” She gestured around them and smiled. “Even a tiny crowd.”
She certainly did know that feeling. She used to study it. Now she lived it.
“Chelsea, Di might not want to talk right nowâ”
“It's okay.” Diana mustered a smile. “Are you a psychic as well, or something?”
Chelsea had to applaud her rallying to make the reference. “I've been taught by the best.” She raised her mug to Prinny. “But you don't need to be psychic to see that you're seriously sad.”
“I⦔ Di managed that single word with some strength, then pressed her lips together while her eyes filled with tears. She raised a shaky hand in front of her face.
Chelsea immediately felt bad for pushing. “I'm sorry. Look, I'm always wondering what motivates people, but I'm not always as sensitive to that as I should be. Forgive me, please. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Hell, I'm just glad you're here! This tea is great, and I bet it's going to ramp up business hugely.” She was rambling now at full speed. That was her thing: overstep, freak out, then talk spastically to try to obscure the mistake, thereby calling even more attention to it.
“No, you know what, it's okay.” Diana took a trembling breath. “I know you've probably never heard of me, and suddenly here I am and here, apparently, I'm going to be for a bit, and not only that, I'm this Mournful Mary being a total drag from moment one.” She gave a dry, insincere laugh. “All I need to do is wet my pants to round out the image of being the kid no one was supposed to invite to the party, but⦔ She shrugged broadly. “Here I am!”
Chelsea gave her an encouraging look.
“And⦔ Diana set down her mug. “And like so many foolish women before me, I fell in love with the wrong man, married him, and I am having a hell of a time getting myself away from him even though he hurts me all the time.”
“He â¦
hurts
you?” Chelsea shot an uncertain glance at Prinny. “Is this, like, kill or be killed?
Sleeping with the Enemy
?”
Diana shook her head. “Oh, I'm way more foolish even than that. I simply can't get myself to leave a man who doesn't love me.” She shrugged, but tears filled her eyes yet again. “Nothing special about my story, it's just the same old, same old, same old. Cheating husband, pitiful wife, parade of who knows who.”
“God,” said Prinny, propping her forehead up with two fingers and looking at Diana.
“And what's worse is that I know he isn't just a jerk.”
Chelsea braced herself to hear the slew of man-defending excuses she had heardâand givenâbefore.
Instead, she got something worse. “If he was a jerk who lied because he didn't care or had gotten in too deep, that would be one thing. It's worse than that on both sides. I am completely in love with him.”
Her gaze didn't lift, but her eyes widened as she stared at the ground. The small room was silent.
“I am completely in love with him, and he's somehow not quite human. He doesn't have the little”âshe pinched the air with her fingersâ“tiny thing that most people have that prevents them from being that deeply dishonest. It's not that he doesn't know better or doesn't careâalthough he doesn't seem to care, eitherâit's that he lacks whatever it is that makes human beings think that it
matters
to be good. He would never want to do the right thing, the good thing. If he did it, and I'm sure he has before, he'd simply find that he felt no differently if he did the right thing or the wrong thing.”
She looked each of the women in the eye, but they were both struck dumb. Even Di herself seemed to be understanding the depth of this realization for the first time as she spoke it.
“Jeez,” said Chelsea.
At the same time Prinny said, “Fucker.”
Chelsea almost gasped. Not because of the word itself, definitely, but because of the mouth it came from. Prinny was so ⦠well ⦠prim. Proper. Not an F-bomb gal.
Di shrugged. “It's not like I'm an idiotâor at least not
that
kind of idiot. The kind that can't see what's right in front of her. I'm the kind of fool who weighed how much I loved him against how much pain I could withstand. Turned out I was exceptionally strong in an exceptionally weak way.”
There was silence. Not uncomfortable. Just sad.
Diana shrugged, as if to dismiss the whole subject. “It's so discouraging how different a person can be when you meet them. Or how different they can appear, anyway.”
But Chelsea, always in search of motivations, was fascinated. “What was he like when you met him?”
The question seemed to interest Diana. She thought about it. Pursed her lips and really thought for a moment. Then, simply: “He was everything I ever wanted. That's it. The big, fundamental things were there. The little things I would have never known to ask for cropped up as surprises. He got me right away, but I'm starting to think that was
why
all those things existed. He saw what I wanted. He became it. I just don't know why he even bothered. Or maybe I don't know why it had to be me.”