One Pink Line (29 page)

Grace and I headed to Target after I picked her up from daycare, to get some much-needed wipes, diapers and laundry detergent. And although that’s all I needed, I tossed a pair of shoes, a bottle of Malibu Rum, a Nirvana CD, and two striped throw pillows into my cart.

“I’m sorry, Miss, but your card isn’t going through,” the cashier looked at me, and then glanced at the three people in line behind me. “Would you like to use another one?” she questioned, then handed the credit card back to me.

“That’s weird, can you try again?” I asked.

She took the card back from me and swiped it again with mild force. “Still declined. Do you have another one?”

As soon as she repeated the question, I realized the automatic withdrawal had been taken out of my checking account for Grace’s daycare. I quickly rummaged through my purse for some cash, and came up with enough for just the diapers. Grace had been happily chewing on the Nirvana CD case, and screamed her head off when I took it from her and handed it over to the cashier. I completed the transaction with my eyes to the floor.

After getting home, feeding Grace, bathing Grace, dressing Grace and reading to Grace, I placed her in her crib and crept out of the room. I was dying for a drink.

I grabbed the phone, fell onto the couch and called Ethan.

“Sorry about earlier,” I said as soon as he answered.

“Rough day?”

“Not really, rough weekend.” I dove right in.

“I could tell you were crabby. What happened?”

I debated whether to confront the issue with him or not, and decided I simply had to get it off my chest. There was no way I was going to make it through another day without talking to him about what Andrew had told Taylor. “Taylor told me about you and Robin,” I said.

“What?” he sounded angry. “What about me and Robin?”

“That you two were together, at the wedding.”

“What the fuck are you talking about, Syd?”

I tossed my head back, and ran my free hand through my hair. I had really hoped we could avoid the whole paddle tennis game before getting to the meat of the conversation. “Taylor told me that you were with Robin…your cousin’s friend from Wisconsin…who you used to date,” I said mockingly. “And that the two of you left together.”

“What? Is she back on the blow? Taylor doesn’t know shit about what she’s talking about, and she should mind her own fucking business.”

“Enough with the profanities, I get that you’re mad she said something to me.”

“I’m not mad
she fucking
said something, I’m mad she’s a two-faced lying bitch.”

I didn’t respond.

He spoke tersely. “Syd, nothing happened between me and Robin. Yes, she was at the wedding; no, nothing happened…end of story.”

I sat motionless, regretting the direction his mood was going in. “You don’t owe me any explanation,” I mumbled.

“Obviously I do!”

The conversation wasn’t going as planned, and I hated the tone of his voice. Besides Grace being in pain, nothing upset me more than when Ethan was angry with me. It was then that the floodgates opened.

I wept as quietly as I could, but the pain of him drifting away was too difficult to bear. “No, you don’t, Ethan. I am so sorry. Your friendship means everything to me, and I have no right to lay that bullshit on you. You don’t deserve it…especially from me.”

Ethan let out a long, frustrated sigh. “Sydney, I don’t know why you’re crying…but I hope it’s because you’re in love with me half as much as I am in love with you,” he responded in a much gentler tone, and let the words sink in before continuing. “You are too smart to know that I had no intention of hooking up with Robin or anyone else at my cousin’s wedding, or any other night for that matter. I have loved you since the very first day we met, and if I had my way, we would never be apart. I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve reminded you of that,” he paused. “Okay, Syd, so please don’t cry.”

It had been too long since I’d heard those words from him, and even though our friendship had grown stronger over the past year, I missed him so much. I was desperate for him to hold me and touch me like he used to. Like we didn’t have a care in the world except for what time to meet at the beach. He hated it when I cried, so I was trying to catch my breath.

“I love you, too, Ethan, so much.”

“Okay, good.”

“Please come visit.”

“I’m going to do better than that,” he said. “My transfer went through, and I’ll be moving back to Chicago at the end of next month.”

He’s still in love with me and he’s coming home. It was like winning the lottery twice in one day.

“That’s amazing!” I cheered. “If I weren’t already crying, I would certainly be now.”

“Wonderful.”

“That is the best news I’ve had in a long time,” I stood and filled a wine glass with ice water.

“I thought you’d be glad to hear that, and you and I are going to make a fresh start, okay? I’m committed to rebuilding what we had, and being there for you and Grace. I love you, Syd, and it feels good to be able to say it out loud again.”

Ethan was back and settled into his new apartment in Chicago within six weeks of delivering the good news. His parents had a welcome home party for him, and he held my hand almost the entire evening. He traveled two days a week for his job, but on the days when he was in town we were inseparable. And on the days he worked from home, I signed a two-page waiver so he could get Grace from daycare, and they’d be in my apartment waiting for me after work. Grace adored Ethan almost as much as I did.

One Friday evening, I grabbed the mail from the lobby of the building and boarded the elevator with sandwiches from Mr. Beef, for Ethan and me. I flipped through the small stack of bills and junk mail, and saw an envelope hand-addressed to me from the law offices of Field & McBride. I put it on the top of the pile and reached for my keys once I was at my floor.

“Hi, makeshift family!” I yelled from the entryway.

“Welcome home, Mama,” Ethan yelled back, and Grace came running to me like a puppy.

I set everything down on the armchair next to the couch, and scooped Grace up into my arms. “Scary legal mail in today’s delivery,” I said.

“What do you mean?” Ethan asked and looked at me.

I scootched Grace up onto my left thigh. “Not sure, there’s a letter here for me from The Law Offices of Field & McBride.”

“What does it say?” he asked.

“I haven’t opened it yet.”

Ethan stood and took Grace from me so I could open the letter. The paper for both the envelope and the letter were ivory, and had a soft, scaly texture to them. As I read the letter, my face went pale.

“What is it, Syd?”

“Oh, my God,” I gasped, and dropped the paper on the floor.

Ethan was deliberately calm and placed Grace in front of her toys about two feet away from us. My throat was tightening and I couldn’t breathe properly. He led me to the couch and retrieved the letter. He read aloud:

Dear Sydney Shephard,

My client, Kevin Hansen, has filed a petition to establish paternity, and seek joint custody of his daughter, Ms. Grace Kendra Shephard. This letter serves as a request for you to submit a DNA test on behalf of Ms. Grace Shephard by April 15
^th
, of this year. Please have the test submitted to the DNA testing center at the Cook County courthouse. If you should have any questions regarding this matter, please contact me at the number below.

Sincerely,

Tom Field

Partner

Field & McBride

Ethan looked up slowly from the paper and jumped right into damage control. He knelt on the floor in front of me. “Sydney, don’t you worry, we’ll take care of this bastard. I don’t know how he thinks he has any right to a relationship with Grace, let alone joint custody, but we are not going to let any of this happen.”

I was comatose. The blood had drained from my head and left me feeling faint, my limbs frozen. My tongue felt like a raw filet mignon, sitting cold and heavy in my mouth, preventing air from getting to my lungs. I stared blankly into Ethan’s eyes.

“Syd, don’t do this to yourself, its going to be okay,” he tried to reach me, but I was gone inside my head.

What in the hell was Kevin doing? After all I’d been through, after every time I extended an olive branch to him with no response, this was how he chose to handle himself. Why now, why at all? He must’ve known I had no money for attorneys. Why?!

I tried to focus on Ethan. He held my hand and looked at me, trying to determine whether I was going to pass out or freak out.

“How could he?” I asked quietly, like a woman on the verge of a breakdown. I begged Ethan for an answer with my expression.

“Let’s not dwell on why and instead deal with making him go away, for good.”

“He said repeatedly that he wanted nothing to do with her,” I kept talking, without absorbing anything Ethan was saying. “He has no right to do this to me or to Grace. Does he honestly think he’s entitled to joint custody?” I hollered and drew Grace’s attention away from her alphabet wagon.

Ethan read the letter again, shaking his head. “I hate to say it, but first thing you’re going to need to do is get yourself a lawyer.”

I sat motionless and then reached for the phone.

“Who are you calling?” Ethan asked.

“I’m calling Kevin’s mother,” I said, like he should’ve known.

“Kevin’s mother?” he questioned me, and snatched the phone from me.

“Yes,” I extended my hand, attempting to get the phone back.

“You know his mother’s number?”

I wasn’t in the mood to be challenged, or to fill him in on my relationship with Kevin’s mom, but it looked as though that was the only way I was going to get my phone back. “She called me a while back, and came here to meet Grace,” I said. “She came with his three sisters for a visit, and said she wanted to be involved in Grace’s life to whatever extent I was comfortable.”

He looked confused and deceived. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“How the hell would that hurt my feelings?” he shook his head in dismay and stood. “Sydney, I know this isn’t the time to get into this, but if you and I are going to have a relationship, you are going to have to be honest with me about everything.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

He handed me the phone.

“She’s a very nice woman, and she was crying and apologizing for Kevin’s behavior,” I told Ethan. “Not making excuses for him, but you could see that she truly cared about Grace, and was shameful of how her son had abandoned his responsibilities where Grace and I were concerned.” I waived the legal notice at him. “I have to believe that she must have some insight into what is going on here.”

“Then you should call her,” he nodded and sat back down. “I mean it. The most important thing right now is to find out as much as you can,” he said. “Maybe you should just call Kevin?”

I rolled my thumb over the number pad on my cordless phone as I held it in my hand. “He’s never taken my call before, I’m guessing this time wouldn’t be any different.”

“When have you called him before?”

“Not very often. I’ve actually just left him messages a couple times over the last two years. Once to let him know I was having a girl, and once when she was born.”

Ethan looked sorry for me. “And no response, ever?”

“Nope,” I confirmed.

“I don’t know, Syd, maybe you should talk to a lawyer before calling anyone.”

We nodded in agreement and called our parents instead. Ethan had to leave the room because my mother was screaming profanities so loudly he could hear them through the phone. My father eventually got on the line and tried to convince me that Kevin didn’t have a leg to stand on, and that his lawyer should be embarrassed to have even agreed to take the case.

“Everything is going to be fine, sweetheart, I promise,” my dad reassured me. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. Ethan is here, and he’s going to call his dad right now,” I told him. Ethan’s dad was a tax attorney, and one of the biggest in the city. Not exactly family law, but he had a tight circle of colleagues and golf buddies who included the best legal minds in every field. I felt confident that he could refer me to someone, yet not confident that I could afford that person.

Ethan hung up the phone and sat next to me on the couch.

Grace began to scream, just as Ethan was about to speak.

“Well, well, well,” I said to her, nervously. “Look at all the drama you are causing tonight,” I scooped her up off the floor. “I better get her down.”

After putting Grace to bed, Ethan told me his dad was going to make some calls and that he should have someone for me to talk to in the morning.

“Thank you,” I said to him.

“Don’t thank me, I am in this with you, I’m not going to let any of this come to fruition, okay?”

“Okay,” I agreed, and was beginning to believe him. After talking to my father, and seeing the confidence on Ethan’s face, I felt good about winning this legal battle with Kevin. It was the personal fight that I was more insecure about. I still, for the life of me, could not fathom how he could have done that to us. He’d shown nothing but complete disregard for both Grace and I over the years. How could he expect me to take him seriously on this? I agreed to talk to a lawyer before calling Kevin’s mom, but it was hard, I wanted answers.