One Pink Rose; One White Rose; One Red Rose (11 page)

Travis stayed right behind her. “What did he say to you?”

She reached the landing, turned around, and held out her hand.

Travis saw the five dollars and started laughing. “I knew Jack was taken with you, but I never thought he'd give you your money back.”

“He's a dear man.”

He looked exasperated. “No, he isn't. He's a cantankerous old goat. He smells like one too. He sure does like you though.”

“I like him too,” she assured him.

Because he stood on the step below her, they were almost eye-to-eye. All she could think of was moving into his arms and kissing him. Emily realized then that she was staring at his mouth. Dear God, he was bound to know what she was thinking. It was all his fault, she decided. If he weren't such a handsome rogue, she surely wouldn't be having such impossible thoughts now.

“I'm tired tonight,” she blurted out.

“You should be tired. You had your hands full with those drunks in the kitchen.”

“I was scared.”

“There isn't anything wrong with being scared. You used your wits.”

Where in thunder were her wits now, she frantically wondered. Travis was turning her into a nervous twit, and if she didn't get away from him soon, heaven only knew what she would do.

She quickly turned around. “You don't need to follow me to my room. I'll find it by myself.”

If he noticed her voice trembled, he didn't say anything about it. He caught hold of her hand and led her down the dark hallway to the door at the end of the corridor.

His arm brushed against hers as he leaned past her to open the door. “Your bags are probably inside.”

“Yes, they probably are,” she replied for lack of anything better to say.

Travis glanced inside and then nodded. “They're in the corner by the window.”

“Your satchels,” he explained when she gave him a puzzled look.

She shook herself out of her stupor and hurried inside. Travis stayed in the doorway. He knew he should pull the door closed now and walk away. He couldn't make himself move though, and, God help him, he couldn't stop staring at her either.

She was standing entirely too close to the bed, and he was rapidly coming up with all sorts of possibilities.

His voice dropped to a whisper. “If you need anything, let me know.”

“Thank you.”

“Good night, Emily.”

“Good night, Travis,” she whispered back.

And still he didn't move. She took a step closer to him. “It's hot in here, isn't it?”

“Are you hot?”

“Yes.”

“Me too.”

“Where are you sleeping?”

“Close-by,” he answered. “I'll hear you if you call out.”

“I won't.”

“But if you do . . .”

“You'll hear me.”

“Yes.”

“I'll try not to bother you.”

His smile was devastatingly appealing. “I'm already bothered, Emily, and from the way you're looking at me, I'd say you're real bothered too.”

She didn't try to pretend she didn't know what he was talking about. She took another step toward him just as he moved toward her. And suddenly she was in his arms and she was kissing him with all the passion she had inside her.

One kiss wasn't enough. Frantic to get as close to him as possible, she wrapped her arms around his neck. Her fingers gripped his hair while his mouth ravaged hers.

He couldn't get enough of her. He lifted her up so she was pressed tight against him, but the feeling he wanted was dulled by their clothing.

He groaned in frustration and began to take her clothes off, but his mouth never left hers. She was so hot and willing, and God, but she tasted wonderful to him. He unbuttoned her blouse, tore it free of her waistband, and then pushed the straps of her undergarment down over her shoulders. His hand moved beneath the fabric and began to stroke her breast.

The feel of her smooth skin against the calluses on his hands pushed his control further away. She made him so hot for her, he could barely think now. He wanted her more than he'd ever wanted any other woman before.

Travis kicked the door shut with his foot, forced himself to pull back from her, and then told her in no uncertain terms what he wanted to do to her.

He had to hold her up when he was finished. “Yes or no, Emily?” he demanded.

She didn't want to make the decision. He was forcing her to be accountable for her own actions, and she would much rather have been swept off her feet instead.

Admitting the truth helped her come to her senses. She pushed away from him and shook her head. “No, we can't. I want to, Travis, but it wouldn't be right.”

She was panting now and still couldn't seem to draw a deep breath. She threaded her fingers through her hair in acute frustration.

His own frustration made him sound angry. “Because of O'Toole?”

“Who?”

He clinched his jaw tight. “The man you're going to marry.”

She noticed her blouse was open and frantically rebuttoned it. “I used to have morals until I met you, Travis. I don't know what's happened to me.”

“Lust happened. That's all there is to it, Emily.”

“Don't be angry with me.”

“I'm not angry with you. I never should have let it go this far.” He pulled the door open, then turned back to her. “You wanted me, didn't you?”

“You know I did.”

He saw the tears in her eyes and was heartless to them. “You know what I think? When you're in bed with O'Toole, you're going to be thinking about me.”

The door slammed shut on his prophecy.

S
he hated him because he was right. She was never going to be able to forget him, and if she married Clifford O'Toole, every time he touched her, she would be thinking about Travis.

Their marriage would be a mockery, of course. Mr. O'Toole was bound to be miserable and so was she, though probably no more miserable than she was now.

She tossed and turned in the double bed for several hours while she thought about the mess she'd made of things. She wanted to blame Travis for complicating her plans, but she was honest enough to admit it was her own wounded pride that had landed her smack in the middle of this mire. When Randolph left her wilting at the altar, Emily had been so mortified and embarrassed she'd run headlong into another engagement. She wasn't devastated by Randolph's betrayal. She had never loved him, and it was her own stupid pride and stubbornness that had kept her from admitting it.

What a fool she'd been. She remembered boasting to her parents that she was the one who was responsible for her own future and no one else. She had truly believed that she could control her own destiny and had diligently tried to do just that, with disastrous results. In less than one short week, everything had gotten all twisted around on her, thanks to Travis.

Her destiny had definitely run amuck, and all because she was falling in love with the wrong man. How could such a thing happen so quickly? Love was supposed to build slowly over time, wasn't it? No one ever really fell in love at first sight. Why did she have to be different? Well, her attraction to Travis didn't matter. She wasn't about to let it go any further and tried to convince herself that it was merely an infatuation on her part and nothing more. He'd called it lust, she remembered, and she thought she'd like to bang Millie's frying pan up against his thick head right this minute for believing such a thing. Perhaps then he would have an inkling of the pain he was causing her.

She was appalled by her own shameful thoughts. She had never had violent notions in the past, but then she hadn't known Travis either, and the two did seem to go hand in hand. It was all his fault that she was so miserable, for not only was he trying to steal her heart, he was also turning her into a shrew with criminal inclinations. Why, by the time Travis had left the bedroom tonight, she'd entertained the notion of shooting him in the backside, where, she was certain, his brain was located.

Emily threw off her covers, got out of her bed, and began to pace around the room. What in heaven's name was she going to do about Mr. O'Toole? She couldn't marry him, of course, but how was she going to tell him? She considered writing a letter to him to explain her change of heart, then decided that a cold, impersonal note was a cowardly way out. She certainly hadn't appreciated getting a note from Randolph and Barbara, and she sincerely doubted Mr. O'Toole would appreciate one either. Like it or not, she was going to have to face him when she told him, and all she could do now was fret about it and pray that she could come up with the right words to use so he wouldn't feel she had betrayed him.

Whispers coming from the hallway turned her attention. She tiptoed over to the door, leaned against it, and then heard what sounded like a gun being cocked. There were at least two men in the corridor, perhaps as many as three. One of them was Travis, for she recognized his whisper. Whomever he'd spoken to left in quite a hurry and didn't try to be quiet about it. His boots pounded on the wooden floor as he retreated.

She heard a door slam then. She didn't hear Travis leave though. She battled her curiosity for a long minute and then decided to find out what he was doing.

She was slowly turning the doorknob when he spoke to her.

“Go back to bed, Emily.”

She let out a yelp and jumped a good foot. She pulled the door open wider, forgetting for the moment that she was clad in only her nightgown, and when she saw Travis, she took a step back.

He was right outside her door, sprawled on a chair. He looked comfortable. His head was resting against the doorframe with his legs stretched out in front of him, one ankle crossed over the other.

She didn't have to ask him what he was doing. She already knew, and, dear God, how could she not love him? He was staying up all night just to make certain she was safe.

“Travis, I have a bolt on my door. You don't have to worry about me.”

“Go back to bed.”

“Will you please turn around and look at me? I'm trying to explain that—”

He didn't let her finish. “Are you in your nightgown?”

The question gave her pause. “Yes.”

“You won't be wearing it for long if I turn around. Do you want me to be more specific?”

“No. Good night, Travis.”

“I thought you'd see it my way.”

She shut the door and leaned against it as the tears began to well up in her eyes. She couldn't cry, she told herself. She'd make too much noise, and then he'd know or at least suspect the awful truth.

She was in love with him.

*  *  *

Emily didn't get much sleep that night, yet she felt refreshed when she came downstairs the following morning. She had made several momentous decisions about her future during the black hours of the night, and for the first time in a long while, she felt as though she were in control again. Ever since the fiasco with Randolph, she'd jumped into one rash thing after another, but fortunately she had finally come to her senses.

She was relieved because she'd realized in time the terrible mistake she would have made if she married Mr. O'Toole. She was also heartsick, because she knew she was going to have to leave Travis.

He was never going to know how she really felt about him. He wasn't the marrying kind, and if she told him she loved him, she would only make him feel uncomfortable. He might also feel sorry for her, and that possibility horrified her.

Come hell or high water, she was going to be cheerful around him. She could cry as much as she wanted once she was on the stagecoach and headed for home. Travis, however, wasn't going to see a single tear.

“Isn't it a fine day, Millie?” she called out as she walked into the kitchen. “Good morning, Travis,” she added when she saw him coming in the back door.

He scowled back at her and mumbled something that might have been a greeting. He was obviously in a foul mood, and she decided to pretend she didn't notice.

Millie placed a large bowl of oatmeal on the table for her. Emily sprinkled it with sugar and ate every bit of it. She drank two full glasses of milk too.

Millie wasn't in a very good mood either. Her gaze darted back and forth between Emily and Travis, and every now and then, she'd mutter something to herself and shake her head.

The second Travis left to saddle their horses, she sat down beside Emily.

“Are you still hell-bent on going to Golden Crest?”

Millie's colorful use of words made Emily smile. “Yes,” she answered. “But I—”

“For the love of the Almighty, stop being so stubborn. You're in for a life of heartache if you marry the wrong man.”

Emily reached over and patted her hand. She found Millie's outrage and concern endearing. “I'm not going to marry Clifford O'Toole.”

Millie's head snapped up. “You're not?”

“No, I'm not, but I owe it to him to tell him so face-to-face.”