One True Thing (31 page)

deal with everything, especially the panic attacks,

which were really bad at the time. Being near me

calmed her.” I drew in a shaky breath and released

it slowly, my eyes stinging. “I haven’t seen her in

six years.”

Asher took a brief moment to look at me, his

hand squeezing mine even harder. “I’m sorry,

hon.”

“It’s okay.” I made a sound that might have

been a laugh, though there was no humor in it.

“Well, not okay, but… I guess by now I’m used to

it. They kept me fed. Never abused me. Too

worried about how it would look, I think. But the

day—and I mean
literally
the day—I turned

eighteen, they told me I was an adult and capable

of fending for myself. And they asked me to leave.

They also said not to bother keeping in touch, and

that they didn’t want me to see Mandy again.

Ever.”

My chest tightened as I thought back on that

day. God, I’d been so terrified. There had been

nowhere to go, no one to turn to except for Rue,

and of course he’d taken me in. He’d stood by me

through everything—the tears and rage I felt at the

loss of my sister, the worry about how I would

support myself, how I’d pay for school or afford a

car. I didn’t know what I would have done without

him.

“After that, Rue was all I had for a long time.

The only person I could really rely on, you know?

Boyfriends came and went, but Rue never did. He

was
always
there, just like I tried to be for him.”

“I’m glad,” Asher murmured. “I’m glad he

was there for you.”

The smile that came to my face was

tremulous, but genuine all the same. My friendship

with Rue was one of the things I was most thankful

for in my life. “Me too. And now I have Erik and

Alice….” I brought our linked hands up to my

mouth and brushed a kiss across his knuckles.

“And you.”

Asher looked at me again. I could tell he

wanted to hold me, comfort me more than he could

with one hand on the wheel and most of his

attention on the road. “I love you,” he said. “You

do have me. Every part of me. I’ll be there for as

long as you let me.”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. I could

feel the moisture building in my eyes and tried to

blink it back. I didn’t want to start crying when

everything had been so happy and wonderful up to

that point.

“How old is your sister now?” Asher asked

after a moment.

I cleared my throat and managed to swallow

past the lump that had formed there, blocking my

words. “Eighteen,” I answered, grateful when my

voice didn’t waver, as I’d feared it would. “I think

about trying to contact her sometimes. She must be

in college already. I just… haven’t been able to

work up the courage.”

“Why not?”

I shrugged a little, like it didn’t matter much,

even as the tears I’d been holding back finally fell.

“I guess I worry, after all this time, she might not

want to know me.”

No hiding the emotion in my voice that time.

Ah, well.
I’d never been much good at pretending

anyway. One of my biggest faults, by some

people’s standards. But I wasn’t the sort of person

to equate sentimentality with weakness.

“She’ll want to,” Asher said, with such

complete conviction it made me smile despite the

tears. “You’re amazing, Dusty. You should reach

out to her. It wasn’t her choice not to talk to you. I

bet she’s missed you.”

I hoped she had. I’d certainly missed her.

“Maybe I will.” I couldn’t promise more than that.

Asher nodded, accepting the statement for

what it was. “And I’ll be there if you do.”

WHEN we got back to my house, we hung out with

Rue and Erik for a bit. Alice was battling a cold

and looking miserable, so eventually Rue got up to

give her a warm bath and put her to bed, while

Erik, Asher, and I finished the movie we’d started.

Asher made love to me that night, once the

house was still and silent, more tenderly than he

ever had. He whispered in my ear, telling me he

loved me, promising to stay with me forever.

There had been other guys who’d told me similar

things when they were inside me, caught up by sex

and lust. Promises were made and then promptly

forgotten. But I knew it was different with Asher.

His words, they sounded like a vow.

Asher

FAMILY.

The word had so many meanings. Yeah, it

was Mom and Dad and even Archer, as much as he

drove me up the damn wall. But it was also Dusty.

More and more every day. When he let himself

into my apartment on the days when I was out late

working, and had dinner ready for me, I melted.

When he rubbed my shoulders or sat in front of me

when we were watching movies so I could

massage his, it felt right. Just normal. Everyday.

Family.

On the way home from a run one night a

couple of weeks before Christmas, I noticed a

building in a neighborhood I’d always liked had a

“for rent” sign up in the front lawn. It wasn’t

something I’d been seriously considering… until I

slowed down to a stop in front of the plastic box

that had the flyers. Before I knew it, one of them

was in my hand, and I was thinking about how I

could make rent work on my own. By the time I’d

gotten back to my place, a thought that had turned

into a whim had worked its way into a real idea.

It was time that I moved out on my own. Had

a place of my own that Dusty could come home to,

with no brother or lovable but nosy roommates

who could easily hear every moan and groan. I

looked at the paper again before shoving it in the

back of my shorts and pulling my shirt over it.

Yeah, it was an idea. A good one. I’d have to talk

to Dusty about it. Even if we weren’t at the place

where we could move in together, I wanted him to

be part of my future. It was important.

Archer was in the kitchen pouring himself

some cereal when I went in to get water.

“Hey. How was your run?” His voice was so

friendly that I turned in surprise. We hadn’t had a

nice conversation in months, far before Dusty ever

came into the picture.

“Um, it was good. How was…?” I realized I

had no clue where he’d been earlier. Or even the

night before.

Archer chuckled. “Coffee. With Jericho. It

was fine.”

“I’ve heard that name a lot lately. Are you

two…?”

“You’re dumb.” And there was Archer again.

“Jericho’s just a friend. If I fucked him, things

would get weird.”

I nodded. “Cool.” Maybe my brother was

growing up a little bit. Didn’t mean I wanted to

keep living with him forever and ever, but it was

encouraging just the same.

I called the apartment building later that day.

The owner told me it had been taken just an hour

before. I didn’t realize how much I’d wanted it,

how the idea had gone from a dream to maybe, to

something I all of a sudden needed. So maybe it

wasn’t going to be
that
place. I wanted a place that

was my home… and hopefully Dusty’s too.

“HEY, hon.” I greeted Dusty with a brushing kiss.

He was on his dinner break. I’d been antsy all

afternoon, waiting to talk to him, so I’d asked him

to come meet me at The Banana Leaf. I wanted to

know what he thought about the apartment idea. I

figured maybe if he was excited about the

apartment in general, maybe someday soon he’d be

excited about moving into it with me.

“Hey. So what’s with the emergency dinner?”

Dusty asked with a joking smile after we were

seated with our drinks in my favorite booth with a

view of the street. I loved his smiles. Even when I

was nervous as hell, they managed to calm me

down.

“So, I was on my run earlier today, right?”

Dusty nodded. He’d bemoaned my runs more than

once when I’d dragged myself from bed and away

from him. “And I saw a ‘for rent’ sign on this

building I’ve always liked.”

“That’s cool.” I knew he was worried about

where I was going with my story. I knew Dusty’s

worried look.

“Don’t freak out.” I reached out and ran my

thumb across his lip to catch a drop of Thai iced

tea. “I was just thinking that I’m tired of living

with Archer, and it would be nice to have a place

of my own.” I smiled. “Where I can have guests…

and they can be as loud as they want.”

Dusty gulped. “Yes. That’s a good idea.”

“Since I have some cash in savings, I called

the building manager, but the place was gone.”

Dusty’s face fell. “I was disappointed at first, but

it doesn’t have to be that place. So I called a

property manager and made an appointment to go

view some of their buildings. How would you like

to go apartment hunting with me on Monday? It’s

important to me for you to like the place too.”

His smile came back, big and sunny. “Of

course. I’d love to.”

I FOUND a place during our search that fit me

perfectly. By the way Dusty’s eyes lit up when he

saw the place, I was thinking he loved it too. It had

probably been built in the thirties, only three

stories, Spanish style with gorgeous landscaping

and a pool. The apartment had two bedrooms, one

with fantastic light, and a great big kitchen that

someday, I hoped, would be Dusty’s little health

food laboratory. I was enchanted. I knew he was

too. I signed right there.

What I had to do later wasn’t so great.

“Hey, um, Arch?”

“Mmm?” Archer had a mouthful of (my) chips

and a bowl of guacamole that Dusty had made the

night before. Part of me wanted to get on his case

for eating my food again, but the other part of me

knew it wasn’t long before we were on our own,

and it would be so much easier to get along then.

“I think it’s time for me to get my own place. I

actually was out looking today. There was a place

I think will be perfect for me.”

Archer rolled his eyes. “Love nest?”

I didn’t mean to do it, but I smiled. “It’s just

me for now, not that it matters. Do you think you

can find a couple of roommates to take over my

part of the lease?”

“Whatever, dude. No prob.”

“You sure? I can cover next month too, give

you extra time.”

“No. It’s cool.”

Archer wandered into his room after that with

my chips and guacamole. I heard him talking on the

phone.

“… dork ass brother is finally moving out….

You in…? Cool.”

Archer was going to be fine. A jerk, but fine

all the same. I was a dork ass, apparently, but I

was going to be fine too. More than fine.

So three weeks later, when my new apartment

was available, I was thrilled to say good-bye to

living with my brother, and move my belongings

into my new place with the help of some movers, a

couple of friends, and one very excited boyfriend.

“I love this place already,” Dusty said with a

happy sigh as he collapsed on the bed we’d just

put together in my new bedroom, which had a

balcony with a view of the pool.

“Me too.” I flopped down next to him and

gathered him into my arms.

It felt
good
. Not just holding Dusty, because

that was always great, but holding him in my own

room in my own place with nobody on the other

side of the wall. It was more grownup somehow. I

liked it.

“You wanna get a shower before we go to

sleep? I’m exhausted.”

Dusty chuckled. “I’m glad you said that. I

can’t wait to christen every room in the place. But

not tonight. I’m beat.”

“Me too. Christening will have to wait.”

After a short, sleepy shower, Dusty and I

crawled into bed together and melted into what

had quickly become our customary position, him in

front of me, my hand on his belly, our fingers

twined together. I couldn’t wait for the day when

he was there every single night, and his clothes

were in the closet, and his life was woven with

mine.

Soon.