One Way or Another (26 page)

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Authors: Rhonda Bowen

BOOK: One Way or Another
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“When did he decide he was taking Keisha?” Adam asked, tearing his eyes away from her. “I thought he was going with Rochelle?”
“Uh-uh,” Toni corrected. “Rochelle was the one who asked him. But he always wanted to take Keisha. He was just afraid to ask her. He has the hugest crush on her. Don't you pay attention?”
“I pay attention to you,” he said, his eyes smiling at her. “Why'd you cut your hair? I liked it at your shoulders.”
Toni lifted her hand to her new shorter do, and instantly regretted saying yes to Afrika when she had suggested a change only days earlier. She would never cut it again.
“Okay, what about this?” Jerome said, coming back out in the purple tie. This time he was looking to Adam for approval.
Toni sent Adam a silent warning that she knew he read loud and clear.
He nodded. “That's what I'm talking about,” he said. “Now you look like a man.”
Toni rolled her eyes.
“Thanks, Toni,” Jerome said, grabbing her in a hug and easily swinging her around. “You're the best.”
Before she could stop laughing he was through the door.
“Don't be walking around all afternoon in that suit,” she called after him. “Go hang it up in the closet and don't get it soiled! I'm not paying for dry cleaning.”
Adam laughed. “You are going to make a wonderful nagging mother for some kid someday.”
Toni pursed her lips. “Since that's as close to a compliment as I think I'm gonna get from you, I'm gonna go ahead and say thanks.”
“That was a lot of money you spent on Jerome.” He had moved into her space again, enveloping her with his warmth, making her nervous. She fiddled with the ends of her hair.
“There're only so many outfits I can buy for my unborn niece. Jerome did really well in school this year and he deserved to be treated.”
Adam nodded. “I know. But it was still really nice, what you did for him. It probably means more to him than you know. You mean more to him than you know.”
As Toni's eyes met Adam's she got the distinct impression he hadn't just been speaking for Jerome. He was close enough to kiss her, but he didn't. So she shrugged it off. It was probably her imagination hard at work.
She cleared her throat. “By the way, I got you something.” She retrieved the shopping bag on the floor and held it out to him.
Adam's eyes widened in surprise as he took the bag from her. “You didn't have to ...”
“I know,” she said, sinking down on the couch. She had to put some distance between them. His cologne was messing with her head. “I saw it and I thought of you, and once I see something I like, I have to get it.”
Adam took a tentative peek in the bag.
“Go ahead. Open it.” She was eager for his response.
He glanced at her a moment longer before reaching into the Sean John shopping bag and pulling out a box. Opening it carefully, he peeled back the tissues, revealing a purple dress shirt, only slightly darker than Jerome's tie.
Adam looked down at it for a long time without saying anything. Toni began to panic a little.
“I saw a red one, but I figured this color would look better against your skin,” she said nervously. “I wasn't sure of your size, but I figured you were a little bigger than Trey since you're taller. If it's the wrong size, I have the receipt. I can get it exchanged.”
He was shaking his head. Still not looking at her.
She sighed, her heart feeling crushed in her chest. “You don't like it.”
“No ... I like it,” he said, struggling for words. “It's just that ...”
She saw his jaw tighten and relax, then tighten again. Then he was pacing the ground, one hand on his waist, the other rubbing the back of his head.
“You can't do this,” he said, dropping his hands to his sides and turning to face her, his brow furrowed in frustration.
“I can't do what?” Toni asked, confused. “Buy you a shirt?”
“Yes, buy me a shirt.”
“Why?” Toni asked incredulously. “I saw something that I liked for you, and I bought it. It's not a big deal.”
“It is a big deal!” Adam protested.
“It's just a shirt, Adam!”
Toni couldn't believe they were arguing over this. They had gotten into fights over some stupid stuff before, but this took the cake.
“It's not just a shirt.”
“What?”
Adam blew out a breath. “No one has ever bought me a shirt before—no one other than my mother.”
“So?”
“So you can't just buy me a shirt and walk away.”
Toni's face wrinkled in confusion. “But I'm not walking away.”
“But I am.”
Toni sighed and closed her eyes. “Adam, you're not making sense.”
“I'm leaving.”
Toni blinked several times, not sure if she had heard him right. “I'm sorry,” she said, shaking her head after a moment. “For a minute I thought you just said you were—”
“Leaving,” Adam finished. “Yes, that's what I said.”
Cold fingers of panic began to creep up Toni's spine. “Leaving, like going to Baltimore for a visit?” she asked weakly.
Adam shook his head sullenly as he watched the truth unfold in her mind. “Not for a visit. For good.”
Toni gripped the side of the couch and took a deep breath. Then another. Then another. It wasn't helping. She still felt like she couldn't breathe.
She looked out the window at the bright sky, till the sunlight seemed to burn her pupils. Then she looked down at the ground. None of it helped. She couldn't make sense of it. Adam was leaving? How could this be happening?
She braced herself against the couch and forced herself to stand, though her legs were more than a little unstable. “I h-have to g-go.”
“Why?” Adam asked, stepping closer, his eyes searching hers desperately.
“I can't,” Toni said, shaking her head as she still held on to the couch. “I just can't—”
“Toni, please. Talk to me,” he pleaded.
What did he want her to say? That she didn't want him to leave? Did he want her to beg him to stay?
How had this happened anyway? One minute her life had been neat and organized. Okay, so she had a few issues. But she had been getting by. And then Adam had come along and stirred up the pot. He had come into her life and turned everything upside down, only to turn around and leave. She blinked back the tears that were already springing to her eyes.
“How can you do this to me?” she demanded, turning hurt eyes on him. He was so close that she wanted to reach out and slap him. “How can you just leave me like this? After everything we—”
Adam took the rest of the words right off her lips when his mouth descended on hers. One hand caressed the length of her arm, tracing a burning path across her already flushed skin. The other slipped to the nape of her neck, easing her closer with sweet, gentle pressure. Her body melted toward his and her lips parted, inviting him home. She had played their first kiss over and over in her mind a million times. But the memory had nothing on the reality.
He began to pull away, but Toni wasn't having it. She buried her fingers in the front of his shirt and pulled him back to her, tipping on her toes to return his kiss with one of her own. She didn't think about the fact that he was leaving. She didn't think about the fact that she was already too attached to him. She didn't even think about how massively complicated he made her life. All she thought about as she stood in his apartment kissing him, her heart syncing in rhythm with his, was the fact that she was exactly where she belonged.
“Adam.”
His name slipped from her lips like a whispered request. In answer he slanted his mouth across hers, deepening the kiss. Every nerve in Toni's body felt like it was on fire. Even her ears were ringing.
It wasn't until she heard the second distinct ring of Adam's phone, that she realized the sound she had been hearing was not in her head, but in her purse.
“Adam ...” Toni whispered, her eyes still closed. “Phone.”
He swept his lips over hers. “Forget it.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck.
For once, she had no argument.
Chapter 35
T
oni rushed through Northside Hospital, following the signs until she found the maternity ward.
“I'm here to see my sister-in-law. She just came in with contractions and her husband isn't with her,” Toni said in one quick breath to the nurse on duty.
It had taken her and Adam almost twenty minutes to get to the hospital after they realized the calls they had been ignoring were from Jasmine and Trey. Once they had finally gotten to the hospital, Toni hadn't even waited for Adam to park before jumping out of the car and rushing inside.
“No problem,” the slim older woman said with a bright smile. “If she's not already in the delivery room you should be able to see her. What's her name?”
“Shields. Jasmine Shields,” Toni said, trying to peep over the desk at the nurse's computer screen. She didn't understand how the woman could be so calm when her sister-in-law was about to have her first child, probably all alone.
“Oh, her,” the nurse said, her smile drying up. “Yes, she's still here all right. But she's not alone.”
“Oh,” Toni said, noticing the change in the nurse's tone. “I guess my brother got here quicker than he thought.”
“Oh no,” the nurse said, shaking her head with a smirk. “I don't think that's her husband. But you can see for yourself. She's in room one forty-five.”
Toni headed down the hallway, not giving the nurse's words much thought. However, once she rounded the corner into Jasmine's room, everything made sense.
“Can you move it a little over to the left, please? That way we can capture anyone who comes through the door.”
“Jasmine, what's going on?” Toni asked incredulously. “I thought you were in labor. Why is there a cameraman in your hospital room?”
“You got here finally!” Jasmine exclaimed, pulling herself upright in the hospital bed. “Thank God! I am so glad to have some family here with me.”
“I don't know. It kinda looks like you have everything under control,” Toni said, nodding toward the kid marching to Jasmine's tune with the tripod in his hand.
“What? This?” Jasmine asked. “Jon's just setting up the camera for me and then he'll be gone. You know I have to capture the birth of my first child on film.”
“Yeah, I should have known your drama wouldn't stop just because you were in labor.” Toni dropped into the chair by Jasmine's bedside. “But the way you were hollering on the phone, I thought we would miss the whole thing.”
Jasmine grimaced. “Well, I am actually in labor, but the contractions are still pretty far apart, and I am only dilated four centimeters. It's probably going to be a wh—ahhh!”
Toni shrieked as Jasmine grabbed her hand and squeezed it hard. She felt as if every bone in her hand had been crushed. Once Jasmine loosened her grip, Toni pulled her hand away.
“Have mercy, Jasmine,” Toni said, rubbing her fingers.
Adam appeared in the door. “Hey, I just got off the phone with Trey; he's on his way.” He looked over at the wiry young man to the side. “Who's that?”
“The cameraman,” Toni said, shaking her head, a “don't ask” expression on her face.
“Where is Trey?” Jasmine demanded, her forehead glistening with sweat. “Call him back and tell him he needs to get his narrow behind here right now!”
Adam's eyes widened with a touch of fear as he looked at Jasmine. “Uh, how about I just get out of your way,” he said. He backed out of the room and nodded to Jon to follow him. The frightened-looking teenager didn't hesitate.
“Dios mío, Toni, I can't do this,” Jasmine said, gripping Toni's hand tightly. “What was I thinking? I can't have a baby. I can't be someone's mother.”
“Yes, you can, Jasmine,” Toni said calmly, squeezing her sister-in-law's hand. She could see the worry etched all over Jasmine's face. “You can do this. You might be a pain in the butt, but I know you are an amazing and caring person. This baby is gonna be blessed to have you as a mother.”
Jasmine began to cry. “Do you really mean that?”
“Yes, I do,” Toni said sincerely, as she blinked back tears of her own. “You are one of the best things that ever happened to my brother. And you're an amazing sister.”
“I'm sorry I'm a little crazy sometimes,” Jasmine sniffled, wrapping her other hand around Toni's.
Toni laughed. “It's okay. You fit right in with the rest of us.”
“I'm scared, Toni,” Jasmine said, her eyes widening.
Toni smiled and patted Jasmine's damp forehead gently with a cloth. “Don't be. You are going to have this baby and everything's going to be fine. Okay?”
Jasmine nodded, even though her eyes still looked wide and uncertain. “Okay.”
“Okay, how's everyone doing in here?” a chirpy nurse asked, floating through the hospital room's door.
“Ahhhhh!”
Another shriek from Jasmine shot searing pain through the joints of Toni's hand.
“Okay, looks like someone's ready to have a baby,” the nurse said with a small laugh.
Toni glared at her. There was nothing funny about the pain in her fingers. Trey had better show up soon.
As if on cue, her brother rushed through the door.
“Baby, sweetheart, I'm here,” he said breathlessly, slipping in beside Jasmine and grabbing the hand that Toni quickly abandoned.
“Oh, thank God,” Jasmine said as she started to cry again.
“Okay, we're gonna have to examine you again to check how dilated you are,” the nurse said, uncovering a nearby metal tray with medical tools. “Let's just get your feet up in these stirrups and we'll be ready to go.”
Toni stood up at the word
stirrups
. That was a lot more of her sister-in-law than she wanted to see.
“Uh, I think you guys have everything under control,” she said. “I'll just be outside.”
Jasmine and Trey barely noticed her as she left.
She found Adam sitting outside the door. “Coward.”
“Hey, I know my limits,” Adam said unapologetically. “And unless I'm the father, I don't need to be in there. I'll just hang out here and they can let me know when it's over.”
“Well, from the look of things that might be a while,” Toni said, sitting down beside him.
“Then I guess we'll be here a while,” he said, turning to look at her. His gaze heated her from the crown of her head to the soles of her feet. She could barely make herself sit still.
Toni let out a deep breath. “Then we should probably talk about what you said earlier.”
Adam sighed and leaned his head back against the wall behind them. “What do you want to know?” he asked.
“Well, for starters, you could tell me why you're leaving Jacob's House, and Atlanta,” Toni said. “I never thought you would leave the guys like that, especially now when things seem to be going well with a lot of them.”
“It's the right thing to do,” Adam said, crossing one leg over his knee casually.
“Convince me.”
He glanced at Toni, then folded his arms. “Okay. While we were in Baltimore,” Adam began, “I went to see House of Judah. It's a former retirement home that a union of churches in Baltimore have bought. They plan to renovate the building and run a similar Jacob's House project out of it.”
Toni listened, intrigued as he explained how the seeds for the project had started a year earlier, and how he had been providing advice and consultation ever since.
“When I think of all the kids I grew up with in B-more, I know that we could have been so much better if we had gotten a second chance. Maybe if we'd had an opportunity to grow in a community where people believed in us, things would have been different.” He looked down at his hands.
“You're thinking about Noah, aren't you,” Toni said.
Adam laughed sadly. “I don't think I ever stop thinking about him. Every time I look at a young man going in the wrong direction, I see Noah.”
“So why would you leave Jacob's House now and abandon all the young men here?” Toni asked. She watched Adam open and close his mouth several times before answering her.
“I can't be with them forever,” he said quietly after a moment.
“No one expects you to,” Toni said. “But you've only been here three years. You know how long it takes to form trusting relationships with these young men. Everyone else in their lives has given up on them, and they assume that everyone in their future will be the same. How can you just up and leave as soon as you've started to make a connection?”
She saw his jaw tighten.
“There'll be other counselors.”
“True,” Toni said. “But that doesn't mean your time is up here. Jerome has one year left. This year he should be applying to college. So should Rasheed and a couple others. You think some new guy who doesn't know them will be able to motivate them to do that?”
Toni let out a long sigh. “I'm pretty new to this whole talking to God thing, but are you sure this is what He wants you to do? Because this feels like it's coming out of left field.”
Adam sat forward, frustration all over his face. ”So now you think you know everything about me?” His tone had an edge that told Toni the conversation was not going well. “I've been working with these people a long time. I helped them put together the initial proposal for the Baltimore project. We've been in contact for months. Just because I didn't tell you, doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about it.”
“Adam, I didn't mean to imply that—”
“And in case you've forgotten, Baltimore is my home,” Adam continued, cutting her off. “My mother, my brothers, my sister, nieces, nephews, they're all in Baltimore. Is it wrong for me to want to be where they are?”
Toni looked down at her hands and closed her eyes.
God, please give me the right words to say to him. I'm not trying to upset him. But I feel this isn't right. If I am being selfish please let me know.
“I know Baltimore is your home,” Toni said quietly, without looking across at him. “I know you miss your family. If you feel that this is what God is calling you to do, then do it. But remember that for a lot of these boys you and the staff at Jacob's House are the only family they have left to count on.”
“I thought you of all people would have understood.” He shook his head as he stood up. “I can't talk to you about this right now.”
Toni felt the temperature drop between them as Adam walked away. She kept watching him, but he didn't look back even once, didn't even slow his pace. It was the first time he had shut her out so completely. She prayed that conversation hadn't just damaged what had become one of the most important friendships of her life.

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