Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships (41 page)

6. Eric Francis, "A Crazy Little Thing Called... ," Planet Waves,
http://planetwaves.net/compersion.html.

1. Dorothy Tennov, Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in
Love, 2nd ed. (Lanham, Md.: Scarborough House, 1999), 23-24.

2. Some people define NRE as "new relationship excitement"; it's the
same concept.

3. Zhahai Stewart, "What's All This NRE Stuff, Anyway: Reflections
15 Years Later," Loving More no. 26 (2001), http://www.aphroweb.net/
articles/nre.htm.

4. Raven Kaldera, Pagan Polyamory: Becoming a Tribe of Hearts
(Woodbury, Minn.: Llewellyn, 2005), 50.

5. Geri D. Weitzman, "What Psychology Professionals Should Know
About Polyamory," March 1999, http://www.polyamory.org/-joe/
polypaper.htm.

1. Daphne Rose Kingma, The Future of Love: The Power of the Soul in
Intimate Relationships (Broadway Books, 1998), 12.

2. Amity Pierce Buxton, "Works in Progress: How Mixed-Orientation
Couples Maintain their Marriages after the Wives Come Out,"
Journal of Bisexuality vol. 4, No. 1/2 (2004): 79.

3. Joy Davidson, PhD, "Working with Polyamorous Clients in the
Clinical Setting," Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality, vol. 5,
April 16, 2002, http://www.ejhs.org/volume5/polyoutline.html.

1. Larry L. Constantine and Joan M. Constantine, Group Marriage: A
Study of Contemporary Multilateral Marriage (Macmillan, 1973),
24-25.

1. Valerie White, "Thinking About Children," Loving More no. 37
(Winter 2007), 12.

2. J. Watson and M. A. Watson, "Children of Open Marriages:
Parental Disclosure and Perspectives," Alternative Lifestyles 5(1),
1982, 54-62, cited in Geri D. Weitzman, "What Psychology
Professionals Should Know About Polyamory,"
www.polyamory.org/-joe/polypaper.htm, March 1999.

3. John Ullman, "Poly Parents: Talk Straight to Your Kids Even If It
Scares the Bejesus Out of You," Loving More no. 37 (Winter
2007), 5.

4. Larry L. Constantine and Joan M. Constantine, Group Marriage: A
Study of Contemporary Multilateral Marriage (Macmillan, 1973), 92.

5. Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli, "Poly Parents: Having Children, Raising
Children, Schooling Children," Loving More no. 31 (Fall 2002),
8-12.

6. Arlene Istar Lev, LCSW, in Proud Parenting, quoted in White,
"Thinking About Children," 13.

1. Jon Knowles, "Chlamydia," rev. Jennifer Johnsen (March 2004),
plannedparenthood. org.

2. Planned Parenthood Federation of America, "HPV," September 1,
2005, rev. June 28, 2007, http://www.plannedparenthood.org/sexual-
health/std/hpvhtm.

3. Jon Knowles, "Genital Herpes" (1989), rev. Jennifer Johnsen and
Jessica Davis (December 2004), plannedparenthood.org.

4. International Herpes Resource Center, "Safer Sex Tips," March 22,
2007, http://www.herpesresourcecenter.com/mvf.html.

5. Melissa Palmer, MD, Dr. Palmer's Guide to Hepatitis and Liver Disease
(Avery, 2004), 82; Hepatitis Foundation International, hepfi.org.

6. Palmer, 92, 93; Danielle Dimitrov, "Hepatitis B" (February 2004),
plannedparenthood.org; Hepatitis Foundation International,
hepfi. org.

7. Palmer, 114.

8. Gay Men's Health Crisis, "Geffen Testing Center's HIV, Syphilis,
and Hepatitis C Information Sheet,"
http://www.gmhc.org/health/testing/geffen-sti.html.

9. Palmer, 114; Hepatitis Foundation International, www.hepfi.org.

10. Gay Men's Health Crisis, "HIV & STI Testing,"
http://www.gmhc.org/health/testing.html.

1. This quote and all others in the chapter are from my personal
interview with Valerie White, August 9, 2007.

1. Daphne Rose Kingma, The Future of Love: The Power of The Soul in
Intimate Relationships (Broadway Books, 1998), 6.

Every effort has been made to include the most current information.
For updates to these lists and for a complete bibliography, see the
Opening Up website, OpeningUp.net.

Against Love, by Laura Kipnis (New York: Pantheon Books, 2003).

Anatomy of Love: The Natural History of Monogamy, Adultery and Divorce,
by Helen Fisher (W W Norton, 1992).

Beyond Monogamy: Recent Studies of Sexual Alternatives in Marriage, edited
by James R. Smith and Lynn G. Smith (Johns Hopkins University
Press, 1974).

Bisexual and Gay Husbands: Their Stories, Their Words, edited by Fritz
Klein and Thomas Schwartz (Binghamton, N.Y.: Harrington Park
Press, 2001).

Breaking the Barriers to Desire: New Approaches to Multiple Relationships,
edited by Kevin Lano and Claire Parry (Five Leaves Publications,
1995).

Compersion: Meditations on Using Jealousy as a Path to Unconditional Love
(e-book), by Deborah Anapol (lovewithoutlimits.com, 2005).

Estate Planning for Same-Sex Couples, by Joan M. Burda (American Bar
Association, 2004).

The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities, by Dossie Easton
and Catherine A. Liszt (Oakland, Calif.: Greenery Press, 1998).

The Future of Love: The Power of the Soul in Intimate Relationships, by
Daphne Rose Kingma (Broadway Books, 1998).

Group Marriage: A Study of Contemporary Multilateral Marriage, by Larry
L. Constantine and Joan M. Constantine (Macmillan Publishing
Company, 1973).

A Legal Guide for Lesbian & Gay Couples, by Denis Clifford, Frederick
Hertz, and Emily Doskow (Nolo, 2007).

The Lesbian Polyamory Reader: Open Relationships, Non-Monogamy, and
Casual Sex, edited by Marcia Munson and Judith P Stelboum
(Binghamton, N.Y: Haworth Press, 1999).

Lesbian Polyfidelity: A Pleasure Guide for the Woman Whose Heart Is Open
to Multiple, Concurrent Sexualoves, by Celeste West (San Francisco:
Booklegger Publishing, 1996).

The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers, by Terry Gould
(Richmond Hill, Ontario: Firefly Books, 2000).

Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples, by Ralph Warner,
Toni Ihara, and Frederick Hertz (Nolo, 2006).

Loving More: The Polyfidelity Primer by Ryam Nearing (Pep Publishing,
1992).

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic, by Esther Perel
(HarperCollins, 2006).

Money Without Matrimony: The Unmarried Couple's Guide to Financial
Security, by Sheryl Garrett and Debra A. Neiman (Kaplan Business,
2005).

The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People, 2nd
ed., by David P Barash and Judith Eve Lipton (Owl Books/Henry
Holt, 2002).

The New Intimacy: Open-Ended Marriage and Alternative Lifestyles, by
Ronald Mazur (Lincoln, Neb.: iUniverse, 2000).

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, by Marshall B. Rosenberg
(Encinitas, Calif.: PuddleDancer Press, 2003).

Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples, by Nena O'Neill and
George O'Neill (M. Evans and Company, Inc., 1984).

Pagan Polyamory: Becoming a Tribe of Hearts, by Raven Kaldera
(Woodbury, Minn.: Llewellyn Publications, 2005).

Plural Loves: Designs for Bi and Poly Living, edited by Serena AnderliniD'Onofrio (Binghamton, N.Y.: Harrington Park Press, 2004).

Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless & Hopeful, by Anthony D. Ravenscroft
(Crookston, Minn.: Crossquarter Publishing Group, 2004).

Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits: Secrets of Sustainable Intimate
Relationships, by Deborah M. Anapol (San Rafael, Calif.: Intinet
Resource Center, 1997).

Recreational Sex: An Insider's Guide to the Swinging Lifestyle, by Patti Thomas
(Cleveland, Ohio: Peppermint Publishing Company, 1997).

Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines For Responsible Open Relationships
by Wendy-O Matik (Oakland, Calif.: Defiant Times Press, 2002).

The Sex and Love Handbook: Polyamory! Bisexuality! Swingers! Spirituality!
(& Even) Monogamy! A Practical Optimistic Relationship Guide, by
Kris A. Heinlein and Rozz M. Heinlein (Do Things Records &
Publishing, 2004).

Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and
Still Live Happily Ever After, by Bella DePaulo (St. Martin's Press,
2006).

Single State of the Union: Single Women Speak Out on the State of Life,
Love, and the Pursuit of Happiness, edited by Diane Mapes (Seal
Press, 2007).

Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent, by Judy Ford
(Adams Media Corporation, 2004).

Swap Clubs: A Study in Contemporary Sexual Mores, by William and
Jerrye Breedlove (Sherbourne Press, 1964).

Swinging for Beginners: An Introduction to the Lifestyle, by Kaye Bellemeade
(New Tradition Books, 2003).

Swinging: Real Stories by Real Swingers, by Terry O'Day (Charleston,
S.C.: BookSurge Publishing, 2005).

Three In Love: Menages a Trois from Ancient to Modern Times, by Barbara
Foster, Michael Foster, and Letha Hadady (Backinprint.com, 2000).

The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three, by
Vicki Vantoch (New York: Thunder's Mouth Press, 2007).

Unmarried to Each Other: The Essential Guide to Living Together as an
Unmarried Couple, by Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller (Marlowe
& Company, 2002).

Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love, by Helen
Fisher (Owl Books, 2004).

Dark Odyssey (Washington, D.C., and Maryland)

darkodyssey.com

Family Synergy Conference and Reunion (Los Angeles)

familysynergy.org

Florida Poly Retreat (Brooksville, Fla.)

Fl oridapolyre treat. com

Free Spirit Sacred Sexuality Beltane (Maryland)

freespiritgathering.org/beltane

Heartland Polyamory Conference (French Lick, Ind.)

heartlandpolycom

Lifestyles Conventions

lifestyles-conventions.com

Loving More Conferences and Retreats

lovemore. com/conferences. shtm

NASCA Swinger Convention Listings

nasca.com/states/nasca-convention.html

Naughty in N'awlins (New Orleans, La.)

neworleansinnovemb er. com

Poly Big Fun (Bastrop, Tex.)

Polybigfun.net

Poly Camp East (Seneca Rocks, WV)

polycamp.net

Poly Camp Northwest (Bow, Wash.)

polycamp. org

Poly Camp Ontario

torontopolyca

PolyLiving Polyamory Conference (Philadelphia, Penn.)

Polyliving. com

Swingfest (Florida)

swingfest. com

Swingstock (Minneapolis)

swingstock. com

World Polyamory Association West Coast Conference (Harbin Hot
Springs, Calif.)

worldpolyamoryassociation. org

LGBT-Poly

groups.yahoo. com/group/LGBT-Poly/

NYC Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Trans Polyamorists

groups.yahoo.com/group/nyc-gtbt-poty/

Polyamorous NYC (GLBT focus, GLBT-supportive folks welcome)

poly-nyc. com

Chesapeake Polyamory Network, PO. Box 5805, Takoma Park, MD 20913

chespolyorg

Inland NorthWest Poly (northern Idaho, Montana, and eastern Washington)

groups.yahoo.com/group/INWPoly

Polyamory Southeast (Alabama, Florida, Georgia, the Carolinas, and
Tennessee)

polysoutheast.org

Alabama Polyamory

groups.yahoo.com/group/atabamapotyamory/

AZ Poly

email [email protected] with "subscribe" in body of
message

AZPolyP.U.R.PO.5.B.

groups.yahoo.com/group/AzPolyPurpose/

Liberated Christians, PO. Box 32835, Phoenix, AZ 85064-2835

libchrist. com

PolyTucson

groups.yahoo.com/group/polytucson/

Bay Area Poly

nakedunderleather.com/mailmanAistinfo/bayareapoly

Berkeley Poly Women's Group

polywog@goplaycom, 510-548-8283

Family Synergy

PO. Box 3073, Huntington Beach, CA 92605-3073

familysynergy org

Live The Dream

8515 Penfield Avenue, Winnetka, CA 91406

[email protected], 818-886-0069, ext. 3

Los Angeles Poly Support

laps.org and groups.yahoo.com/group/losangelespolysupport/

North Bay Poly

Announcements: groups.yahoo.com/group/north_bay_poly/

Discussion: groups.yahoo.com/group/North_Bay_Poly_Chat/

Orange County Polyamory Network

800-418-8202

Sacramento Polyamory Group

groups.yahoo.com/group/sac-poly/community.livej ournal. com/
sac-poly/

San Diego Polyamory

groups.yahoo.com/group/sandiegocaliforniapolyamory/

Santa Cruz Loving More

Linda or Michael at 831-425-3448

Santa Cruz Polyamory

groups.yahoo.com/group/santacruzpolyamory/

SoCalPoly

groups.yahoo.com/group/SoCalPoly/

South Bay Polys

PO. Box 70203, Sunnyvale, CA 94086

members.aol.com/wabaldwin/sbpolys.html

Connecticut Poly

groups.yahoo.com/group/connecticut-polys/

Squawk (Denver)

To join the mailing list, send email to [email protected]

Colorado Polyamory Community

groups.yahoo.com/group/Colorado-Polyamory-Community/

Brevard Poly (Florida's Space Coast area)

groups.yahoo.com/group/brevardpoly/

Pensacola Polyamory (Alabama/Florida Panhandle)

groups.yahoo. com/group/Pensacola_Polyamory/

PolyCentral Florida (Orlando)

polycentralfl.com and groups.yahoo.com/group/polycentral/

Poly Tampa

polytampa.com

Atlanta Poly

polysoutheast. org/atlanta.html

Hawaiian Poly Pagans