Operation Eiffel Tower (5 page)

Keep safe, God bless,

Paul

Jack closed the email. He hoped Paul was OK. Did he sound a bit sad? It was hard to tell. And £40 for a meal! As well as £200 to get to Paris in the first place. He didn’t need his calculator to tell him that their jam jar didn’t have anywhere near enough in it. The golf competition might help, but they also needed a Plan B. And a Plan C. And maybe even a Plan D, E and F too.

Chapter 9

Ruby had dumped the empty pram in the kitchen and wandered off with her doll. When Jack went to fetch a drink, he saw the tinfoil sticking out of the bottom of the pram and grinned. ‘Billy!’ he yelled. ‘Billy, where are you?’

Billy came trotting into the kitchen, trailing Teddy Volvo by his ear and eating a biscuit.

‘Ruby sort of bought some tinfoil. I’ve thought of something we can do with it. Do you want to play astronauts? We’ll need some cardboard boxes for helmets. And some sellotape and maybe glue. Wait there!’

Billy waited there while Jack whizzed around the kitchen gathering together basic NASA supplies.

Jack cut and glued and measured and snipped the tinfoil, until the cardboard boxes were two space helmets. Then he wrapped the foil round their arms and legs so that he and Billy were wearing shiny spacesuits.

‘Come in, Houston.’ Jack spoke beneath his visor. ‘Come in, Mission Control. One small step for a toddler, one giant leap for toddler-kind.’ He lifted Billy on to the table, then swung him down in a huge gravity-defying jump. ‘Mission Control, we have safely landed on this strange terrain. Commencing exploration of Planet Kitchen Floor. No sign of hostile life forms. I will now plant the flag.’ Jack took three slow, careful strides then grabbed the kitchen mop and thrust it down into the bucket. ‘Mission successful!’ he shouted.

On the floor, Billy laughed. His helmet had fallen off. Bits of biscuit were crusted round his mouth.

‘Correction, Houston. I’ve encountered a strange life form. Humanoid. But strangely small, stunted even, with yellow growths around its mouth. Dempsey One preparing to engage with it.’

He thought about pulling out his gun, but then he remembered his mission. Exploration. You couldn’t just go shooting at every life form you met if you were an explorer.

‘Greetings!’ Jack said. ‘I am an Earthling.’

‘And I am a magic sky fairy!’ Ruby’s voice came from behind him.

Jack turned slowly through zero gravity. Ruby stood in the doorway. She was wearing her princess dress, the one with the bits of floaty material at the bottom. It was fancy dress, really, but Ruby wore it like ordinary clothes.

‘There aren’t magic sky fairies in space,’ Jack said, muffled by his helmet.

‘Yes there are. Space is the sky, isn’t it? That’s where magic sky fairies live.’

Jack sighed. ‘Well, we’re playing astronauts, not fairies.’

‘With
my
tinfoil,’ Ruby pointed out. ‘Mrs Khalid gave it to me. I want to play too.’

Jack looked at the sheets of tinfoil wrapped round his trousers. Ruby was right; it kind of belonged to her. Not that she’d paid for it. ‘Where’s Lauren? Can’t you play fairies with her?’

‘Lauren’s helping Mum,’ Ruby said.

‘Oh.’

‘She’s helping her get things out of the attic,’ Ruby said more forcefully.

Jack frowned. The only time anyone went in the attic was when the Christmas decorations came out or the suitcases for going on holiday. Jack felt a shiver of alarm.

‘What things?’ he asked.

Ruby shook her head. ‘Don’t know.’

Jack lifted off his helmet and put it down on the table. ‘I’ll just go and see,’ he told Ruby. His voice came out in a whisper, though he hadn’t meant it to. ‘You watch Billy for a minute. Don’t let him eat the glue.’

Jack walked up the stairs. His tinfoiled legs rubbed together with a squeaky noise. The entrance to the attic was through a hole cut in the ceiling just outside the bathroom. There was a ladder propped against the opening and Lauren was standing with one foot on the bottom rung, holding it in place. One of the holiday suitcases stood on the landing; it had a thick layer of dust on it. Jack could hear dull thudding noises coming from overhead.

‘What’s going on?’ Jack asked.

‘Mum wants some stuff,’ Lauren said, frowning.

‘What stuff?’

Mum’s feet appeared at the top of the ladder, then her legs, then Jack could see the rest of her, balancing a small box in one hand while the other gripped the frame.

‘What stuff??’ Jack asked again, looking at Mum this time.

Mum frowned. ‘Oh, Jack,’ she said.

‘What’s going on?’ Jack asked. His chest felt tight.

‘Jack, not now, OK?’ Mum sounded tired. ‘Lauren, I need to look through some things. Would you be a love and take them out for a while? Down to the front, just for half an hour?’

Lauren nodded. Her face looked pale and her eyes shone too bright on the dark landing.

‘C’mon,’ Lauren said. ‘Let’s get the others.’ She walked towards the stairs.

Jack looked at Mum.

‘Go on,’ she said, not unkindly. ‘Please.’

Jack followed Lauren slowly.

Chapter 10

‘What’s going on?’ Jack asked Lauren as soon as they were downstairs.

‘I don’t know, I swear. Mum just said she needed the photo box from the attic, the one with all the birth certificates and stuff in.’

‘If you don’t know, why do you sound so funny?’ Jack asked.

‘It’s just the way Mum looked, that’s all. I don’t like it.’ She sighed heavily.

They reached the kitchen. Ruby and Billy were sitting on the floor; Ruby was gluing strips of tinfoil on to the bottom of her dress and Billy was painting the floor with gluey fingers.

‘Now I’m a magic sky fairy astronaut,’ Ruby said.

‘Huh!’ Lauren snorted. ‘Everyone here is crazy except for me. Have you lot seen the state you’re in? I can’t take you out looking like that. You look a right show.’

Jack grinned. ‘I’m US Astronaut Dempsey One, he’s Dempsey Two, and Ruby is a magic sky ghost or something.’

‘A magic sky fairy astronaut!’

‘Whatever you are,’ Lauren said, ‘you can’t come with me dressed like that. You look like clowns. If you go out like that, people will be asking me where they buy tickets.’

Jack laughed. Then the laughter dried up. He had thought of something. His eyes opened wide. He felt a little ripple of excitement. ‘Lauren, you’re brilliant. We could charge people to see us. You know, for the Paris fund.’

‘What?’

‘Don’t you remember the lady who came last summer? The statue lady? Ruby made us go and look at her every day.’

‘Oh, the ballet lady!’ Ruby squealed.

Lauren nodded slowly.

Last summer, a woman had arrived on the front dressed as a ballerina. She was like a doll, standing completely still; you couldn’t see her breathe, not even when you went right up close to look. She was a living statue until someone dropped a coin in her tin. Then she swirled and twirled and bobbed like the ballerina in a musical box.

‘We could be astronaut statues!’ Jack said. ‘People would pay to watch us do a space walk.’ Jack put on an American accent. ‘One small step for fifty pence, one giant leap for a pound.’

Lauren looked interested. Ruby clapped her hands together.

‘We’ll stand totally and completely still,’ Jack continued, ‘then when someone pays us, I could lift Billy and Ruby so it looks like they really are walking through the air. Zero-gravity statues. What do you think?’ He looked at Lauren eagerly. ‘We haven’t put any money in the jar today. And Mum’s already got the cases out. She needs a holiday. Come on, Lauren, what do you think?’

Lauren looked at Jack and Ruby who were both smiling at her. Billy’s helmet had twisted round so she couldn’t see his face, but he was probably keen. ‘Oh fine,’ she said. ‘But I’m not dressing up. I can be your manager. I’ll supervise. And I’ll collect the money.’

They left the house, heading for the beach and the tourists.

The front was bustling with people. Families bounced along in horse-drawn carriages; couples held hands and shared ice cream. Everyone seemed to be smiling. And spending money, Jack thought hopefully. The tinfoil they wore sparkled in the sunshine, matching the glittering waves. Ruby slipped her hand through his and gave it a squeeze.

‘I’m going to be a brilliant magic sky fairy,’ she said. ‘You can do great big jumps in space, can’t you? Because of the gravy.’

‘Gravity,’ Jack corrected.

Ruby nodded, then leaped as high as she could. Jack tugged upwards, to give her a little lift.

They were heading for the main steps that led down on to the beach. The ice-cream van at the top of the steps was mobbed. Beyond it was William’s World of Wonders. Jack could just make out the sign he’d painted for the Open Championship tomorrow. He grinned in excitement. If he did well, the Paris fund would soon be full!

‘OK, here’s the drill,’ Lauren said, pulling Jack back from his daydream. ‘You all stay really, really still. I’ll collect the money in this bowl. When someone pays us, you have to act like you’re walking in space. Got it?’

Jack nodded. He’d got it. Ruby nodded too. Billy chewed on Teddy Volvo’s ear.

‘I don’t think Billy’s got it,’ Jack muttered.

Lauren glared at him. ‘He’ll just have to do his best. Right. Line up.’

Jack, Ruby and Billy formed ranks. Lauren inspected them as thoroughly as a sergeant major on a parade ground. She straightened Ruby’s shoulders, she flattened the tinfoil on Jack’s front, she squeezed the worst of the dribble off Teddy Volvo’s ear.

‘We’d best do a practice,’ Lauren said. ‘Ready? And . . . freeze!’

Jack froze. He was stiller than a moon rock. He was more frozen than a moon rock in a fridge-freezer. He was more silent than a sulking moon rock in a fridge-freezer.

He didn’t move a muscle.

‘And . . . move!’ Lauren said.

Jack space-walked. He raised one foot then brought it down slowly. He walked towards Billy as though he were walking through treacle, then he scooped him up into the air with a sound like rockets blasting off. Beside him, Ruby pranced and pirouetted.

‘And . . . freeze!’ Lauren said.

Jack froze, with Billy suspended above his head. Oh, Billy was heavy these days! He felt his arms wobble under the weight.

‘Be still!’ Lauren hissed.

‘I’m trying,’ Jack whispered back.

Then Jack heard a fantastic noise. The chink of a coin landing in their bowl.

‘Yay! Customers,’ Lauren said. ‘Move!’

Jack scooped Billy through the air. Billy laughed and shrieked. Ruby plié’d and twirled, kicked and jumped. She was definitely more fairy than astronaut, Jack thought.

‘Freeze!’

This time Jack held Billy lower, on his shoulder, so that it was easier to keep him in the air. Billy grumbled, eager to be flown around again.

‘Shh,’ Jack hissed. ‘Wait for the money!’

They didn’t have long to wait. Lots of people stopped and dropped a coin into the bowl. Soon he could hear each one clinking down on to what sounded like a good pile.

‘Hey!’ A voice sounded cross. ‘Hey, you!’