Ordinary (Anything But) (10 page)

Throat tight, she choked out, “What…what am I?”

Nealon’s unreadable face turned her way, his brown eyes drilling into hers. “They’re UDs. We’re UDKs. Keepers. You’re a keeper, Honor. Welcome to the club.” It was the first time she’d seen any trace of a smile on his lips. It wasn’t a joyful smile and she didn’t like it. In fact, it made her extremely cold on the inside.

Poked and prodded, examined, and photographed, Honor was glad when the day was finally over. She was now officially registered as a UDK. It was all so weird, unreal, and not how she would have ever pictured spending a Saturday. Her brain was on information overload and it needed a rest. She was exhausted, mind and body. So hungry earlier, she’d only been able to pick at her supper in the cafeteria. It had been tasteless. She hadn’t known if it was the food or if it was her. There’d been about twenty other newbies in the place, most of them by themselves, but some together in pairs or threes. Honor hadn’t recognized a single face. She’d almost kind of wanted to see Natasha or Ryder, just to be around someone she knew. That was sad. Even Honor knew that.

The light in the small room automatically shut off at nine o’clock. Honor knew that because Nealon had told her it would. She was so tired and yet sleep eluded her. Honor stared at the ceiling in the dark, not able to see anything. There was no window to allow the glow of the moon in. It was unsettling, being completely blanketed in night. She was uneasy, imagining someone in the room with her. Honor wouldn’t have been able to see anyone if they were. She squeezed her eyes shut and blocked the fear from her mind. Tomorrow she would get to call her mother. Honor focused on that. Only that didn’t make her feel any better. What would she say to h
er? She had so many questions. She didn’t know where to begin. She was homesick for her own bed in her own bedroom, for her sister Scarlet.

She thought of the innocent, childlike room that symbolized all she had lost in a short amount of time. Life wasn’t rainbows and butterflies and pretty things. It was hard and it was cruel and it was ugly. Honor realized that now. Maybe she’d realized it a long time ago and hadn’t been able to accept it. She did now.
Her eyes burned with unshed tears and when she blinked they slowly trickled from the corners of her eyes, dampening her cheeks as they slid down the sides of her face.

Her thoughts went to Christian and she sat up, the urge to go to him overpowering. She wiped her cheeks. He was down there, by himself, probably in the dark, hurting.
He had it so much worse than she did. Honor needed to remember that. What if he died? What if he didn’t…adapt? Honor swallowed, shivering. She couldn’t bear to think of Christian becoming like the man in the video she’d watched.

She let her feet slide to the cool ground, not even thinking about what she was doing. Honor slowly walked forward, letting her hands guide her. It was so quiet, so dark. She lightly bumped into the wall, felt around until she found the doorknob.
She had every reason to believe the door would be locked, though she supposedly wasn’t to think of herself as a prisoner. Surprisingly the doorknob turned in her hand. Honor’s breath left her in a loud whoosh. Trembling with relief and apprehension of what might be outside the door waiting for her, she cracked it open. She looked left and right, saw no one, and quietly left the room, careful not to make a sound as she shut the door.

Honor tried to get her bearings, but it wasn’t easy to remember which hallway led to where, especially with only dim lighting to help her. Everything looked different, more ominous, in the nighttime. She wondered where all the adults were. Did they go home for the night? Honor doubted it. The guards were needed all hours of the day.
How are you going to get to Christian when he’s guarded?
Honor hadn’t thought about that.

Before she decided she was doing something really stupid, Honor started to walk down the empty corridor. She felt all alone, even though she knew she wasn’t. The newbies were in the rooms around her, all in the same hallway.
She might as well have been alone, for all the camaraderie shown her by the other kids. Not that she cared, but it did make her appreciate Anna a little more, and miss her.

Honor shivered. It was cold in the church and the coolness of the floor was seeping into the soles of her feet, chilling her more. She was to the open area where the metal benches were. She stayed near the wall, shifting her eyes in the almost dark. Honor turned right and hesitated by the second doorway that led to the basement. Her pulse ra
ced and her heart was pounding as Honor moved through the open doorway, a hand to the cold wall as she descended.
What are you doing? You’re going to be in so much trouble if you get caught. What if they kill you? Torture you?
She didn’t let herself believe for one fleeting moment she was anything special to them, to Nealon. That impassiveness of his showed her how much he
didn’t
care about others. There wouldn’t even be a second thought given to her if he thought her expendable. Honor’s throat tightened. Still she walked.

Honor wondered with all the locked doors why the one area that probably should have the most locks on it did not. W
as it arrogance on their part, or something else? Maybe they
wanted
a chance to kill any UDs who tried to escape. She looked behind her, hearing and seeing nothing. Honor turned her gaze to the middle of the room. Again there was nothing. Her eyes studied the dark corners. Were people there, watching her? Honor’s body trembled and she told herself to ignore it.

Honor remembered there were ten UDs, unless the number had grown or lessened since her earlier visit. She thought about the cameras watching her and paused. If they wanted to stop her, they could have at any moment. Unless they were gone, but again, she doubted it. She hadn’t exactly been told this part of the building was off limits. She’d just kind of known. Honor could play dumb if she had to. Why
weren’t
they stopping her? That bothered Honor more than anything.

She approached t
he window to Christian’s room, although cell was a more appropriate word, even if there were no bars to keep him in. He was still a prisoner. So was Honor. All the UDs and UDKs were—prisoners of fate, prisoners of circumstance. It was darker in there than where she was. There was a soft glow of light in the open area, but not in the rooms. They were pitch black and eerie. Something in the room moved.

Honor frowned and walked closer. “Christian?” she whispered.
She glanced over her shoulder to see if anyone would approach, caught a flash of silvery eyes from another room, and quickly turned away.

Two glowing orbs of silver were directed at her. Honor started and sucked in a sharp breath. They moved, came closer, and Honor could make out Christian’s tall form. His white clothes shone in the dark, a line of gray around him and blackness beyond that. She had to tilt her head back to look at his face. Honor drank in the sight of him, noting his hard features. There were lines around his mouth that gave a hint of the pain he’d endured. She wondered if he was still in pain.

“It’s Honor…from school?”

He didn’t acknowledge her, didn’t show any sign of knowing who she was. His eyes were intense, flashing like strange lightning bolts.
She dragged her gaze away and swallowed, feeling hot and shaky. Her mind went blank. She couldn’t think of a single thing to say to him. Why had she come there? What had Honor thought would happen? She turned back. He hadn’t moved, continuing to stare down at her.

She frowned and backed away, something inside her dimming. “I just…wanted to make sure you were okay.” Why wasn’t he saying anything? Did a person’s personality completely change along with their body? Maybe he simply didn’t like her.
But he’d never been impolite to her before, not in school, and not any other time she’d spoken with him. He’d even been to her workplace on occasion with his family for burgers and fries, playing pool when they were done eating. His smile for her was always shy, but there
was
a smile.

“Honor,” he rasped out in a voice hoarse and deep.

She went still, waiting with a thundering heartbeat. Christian’s lips turned down. He looked like he was searching for words, like she had been moments ago. He must be so confused. A shrill noise erupted in the quiet and Honor spun around, wondering where it had come from and what it meant. It was loud, piercing, without end. It sounded like an alarm. Fear had her believing it was because of her being down there.

Guards came out of the dark, shouted orders at one another. She wasn’t completely surprised to know they’d been in the dark, observing, but Honor had to admit she was a little. She counted four, maybe five. They raced for the stairs, not even glancing her way.
She looked toward Christian, but he was gone, faded back into the darkness. Honor chewed her lip, torn. The pull was too great and she took off after them, too curious to stay away.
This is dumb, Honor. Go back to your room. You don’t want to know.
Only she did.
Your curiosity is annoying, you know that?
Adrenaline pumping the blood through her veins, Honor sprinted up the stairs, the sounds of voices propelling her in the right direction.

The glare of lights was blinding after the blackness and it took a moment for
her eyes to adjust. What she saw wasn’t what she’d expected to see, not that she’d really had any idea what would meet her eyes. It was a newbie. That was the first surprise. Honor remembered him from the cafeteria at supper time. He’d been sitting by himself, down the table from her.

The boy was struggling against two men, trying to shake their hands f
rom him. His hair was blond and he had a baby face, but his eyes were wild, unseeing. “Let me go! Let me go home! I just want to go home!”

Honor moved closer, past the benches, toward the scene. No one noticed her. She could relate to the boy, she knew how he felt. She’d felt the same. He was younger than her, too young to be going through something like this. He should have been worrying about girls and school and sports, not being a UDK. His life wasn’t his anymore. None of theirs were. They had been taken from them, warped into something abnormal, and they
were supposed to accept it, deal with it, and not react. They were supposed to be cold, unfeeling, like the adults.

They were only
kids
.

“You need to calm down,” one of the men told him. “Calm down
now
.”

The boy’s efforts doubled. His body twisted and contorted as he fought to be free. “Get off me! I don’t want to be here! I don’t want to be this! Let me go! I want to go home!”

One of the men standing by removed his gun from the holster at his hip. Honor’s stomach lurched and she was moving before she realized it. What was he doing? Was he going to
shoot
him? Fear and anger built up inside her, hurrying her steps. The man lifted his hand. Honor opened her mouth, arms outstretched. “
No!
”

The gun went down
and the boy went limp when the hilt of the weapon connected with his temple. He wasn’t out completely, but he was dazed, his eyes only partially open. A lump was already forming on his head, red and bulging. The boy would have been on the floor if not for two sets of hands keeping him up. Relief swept through her that the man had only done that and not more, but indignation couldn’t keep her silent, couldn’t make her not react. Honor felt sick witnessing what she had. There had been no reason for the violence. He was just a confused, scared boy.

She was finally being noticed, heads were turning her way.
“Leave him alone,” Honor demanded, reaching for the boy. She was barricaded by large male bodies as two men moved in front of her, shielding the boy from her eyes.

“Go back to your room, Rochester.”

Honor stiffened, recognizing that gruff voice. Burns watched her from a few feet beyond the group, toward the exit. He was in a black suit with a gun on his hip. His face was drawn, tired, but still cruel. Burns was not a kind man. He must have gone through the sliding door that led to the first room Honor had ever seen of the church, the one with the scuffed floor. She understood now why the floor was the way it was. All the kids, brought through that door, fighting. Honor fought down nausea and straightened her spine.

Honor moved to the left, but the man in front of her moved with her. She glared at him. He was blank-faced. They all were. They were like clones of one another, no facial expressions at all on their faces.
Robots. Honor didn’t care enough to pay attention to their appearances. She only knew she didn’t like them. “He’s just a kid,” she said, swallowing around a lump in her throat.

“Says the kid,” one of the guys murmured and chuckles rang out.

Honor’s face burned and she clenched her hands into fists at her sides. “Where’s Nealon?”

Burns’ expression hardened and he strode toward her. Honor wanted to back away, but forced herself to stay put. When less than an inch separated them, he stared down at her, trying to intimidate her.
Don’t look away, don’t show weakness, don’t show fear.
His garlic cigarette smell hit her and her stomach revolted. “Don’t concern yourself with your buddy Nealon. Right now,
I’m
in charge. He may have the days here, Rochester, but
I
have the nights. Remember that.” Burns leaned closer and his hot breath hit her. “Now run along back to your room before I decide you need to be taught a lesson in respecting your elders.” Burns stepped back, an ugly smile on his ugly face. That smile puckered the long scar the length of one side of his face, widened it, making it even more grotesque.