“Sorry.”
Sorry. That was all he said. It was what he didn’t say that spoke volumes. He didn’t try to change the subject, or make hasty excuses to leave, the way Kaylee’s friends usually did.
For once, I didn’t feel like having a dead parent was contagious. “Thanks.”
The slam of a nearby locker interrupted us.
“Come on, we’re going to be late.” Kaylee’s voice sounded this side of sulky while her hand tugged on us, prompting the human chain back into motion. “Oh, look. There’s Parker and Ella.” If possible, she sounded even less enthusiastic than before, and I watched in surprise as she ducked her head. Too late. The girls saw us.
Hunter’s head whipped up. I had a sudden impression of a deer in the headlights. I guess the idea of two more girls converging on him was too much to bear. Not that I could blame him, I thought, watching Parker flounce over in skinny jeans, while Ella trotted her shorter legs to keep up. It was kind of like watching a pack of piranhas descend on a particularly tasty fish.
“My classroom,” Hunter said, before breaking free and loping ahead.
“Hey, will we see you at lunch?” Kaylee called after him.
He mumbled something about “dunno—forms to fill out” before escaping to the sanctuary of Room 132.
The instant he disappeared around the corner, Kaylee
turned on the girls with a fierce scowl. “Less obvious next time, okay?”
I blinked. How could they be any more obvious than Kaylee herself?
But I held my tongue as Kaylee launched into a blow-by-blow of our march down the hall, instead following Hunter’s lead and slipping away to my class. Only, unlike with Hunter, I don’t think anyone noticed.
Until Parker pulled away from the group and followed me, a sly smile on her face. While I paused in surprise, she leaned in close, like she wanted to share something special.
Oh, it was special, all right. “See that?” she whispered, wiggling her fingers at someone in greeting. Even when she was talking to me, I didn’t have her full attention. “It’s happening already. Kaylee’s interest in new toys only lasts so long. You got extra mileage because you were from out of town, but now that Hunter’s around…”
She straightened, and her smile widened into a careless grin. “Let’s just say I’ll give you a week, tops, before you’re sitting at your own lunch table in the corner. Even less if you keep looking at Hunter like that. Kaylee doesn’t like to share.”
And then, with a satisfied sigh, she whirled and disappeared down the hall.
I shook my head and entered my classroom, wondering for the billionth time what Kaylee saw in her.
W
hen the lunch bell rang, I decided to ditch the hordes of ravenous students and head outside. Even on a good day, I hated the cafeteria, with its crowds and fluorescent glare—every time I walked inside, I instantly felt on display. And after Parker’s extreme cattiness earlier, well…let’s just say my enthusiasm for group dining had fallen to an all-time low.
I reached the door that led to my escape path, to the lone bench in the completely ignored courtyard. No other kids to deal with there, just a patch of grass, three overgrown trees, and a slightly lopsided rendition of the school’s cartoon lion mascot.
When I pushed open the door, frigid air blasted my cheeks. The news had called for an uncharacteristically
dreary fall week, and so far, the weather was cooperating. A bonus for me, since chill and drizzle never bothered me but seemed to lock the rest of the student body inside.
Well, all except for one.
The door clattered shut behind me, a noise that announced my arrival with gunshot subtlety to the lone figure commandeering
my
spot.
I inspected him from behind drooping tree branches, completely conscious of the curious eyes peering back at me through a kaleidoscope of red-orange-brown. Hunter didn’t sit on the bench like a normal person. Instead he perched on top of the backrest, his feet planted against the blue boards that made up the seat. His jacket hood was pulled up over his head, his elbows balanced on his knees. Cradled between his hands was a battered comic. So much for those papers he had to fill out.
Okay…now what? I scanned the tiny oval courtyard for potential escape routes, for any other seating destination that wouldn’t make me look like a giant stalker. But there was nothing, unless I fancied sitting on the wet grass or the dirty and equally wet concrete—neither of which were particularly tempting.
Just when I’d decided that waving and then bolting for the door would be my least embarrassing option, Hunter spoke from beneath his olive hood.
“Did I steal your spot?”
“Technically, no. I mean, it’s not my spot. It belongs to the school.”
Heat rushed into my cheeks. Wow. Okay, so yes,
technically
my words were true, but that didn’t mean I had to go all dork and say them.
Hunter’s soft laugh floated through the courtyard, loosening the knot in my stomach. A second later, my laugh joined his. “I come out here to get away sometimes, but obviously you were here first, so I’ll just leave,” I said.
He scooted over to the far edge of the bench, leaving a gaping expanse of blue wood on the side closest to me. “Plenty of room.”
I caught my lower lip with my teeth. Tempting. Especially considering the alternative—the sense of isolation that ironically grew more pronounced in a crowd. “You sure?”
He shrugged, a rise and fall of broad shoulders meant to convey disinterest. Only his fingers gave him away. They drummed against his knee, hinting at whatever lurked beneath his seemingly apathetic exterior. That tiny burst of motion—of lean, restless fingers striking worn denim— somehow demoted him from intimidating to approachable.
I remembered the way he’d stared out the window in homeroom, his quiet contemplation a huge contrast to the loud voices that echoed throughout the hallways.
“Okay.” I ducked under the tree branch and followed the brick-lined path to the bench. No big deal. I’d sit on my
edge of the bench, he’d stay on his, and we’d ignore each other.
Great idea in theory. Hard to execute in real life. Because as I positioned myself on my half, I was aware of the steady rate of Hunter’s inhalations and exhalations, the way he smelled like laundry detergent and something muskier—sandalwood—and how he tapped his foot on the bench beside me while he read. Twenty-two times per minute.
I snuggled into Dad’s shirt. My plan had been to let the memories roll through my head, but I don’t know. I felt strangely exposed with Hunter sitting next to me. Instead, I closed my eyes and tried to count the individual drizzle droplets as they landed, feather soft, on my face.
After an unproductive three minutes, Hunter’s comic book crinkled. “You’re Maya, right?” he asked.
An unexpected disappointment stabbed me. I opened my eyes. “Close. Mila.”
“Sorry. Mi-la.” The way he carefully drew my name out gave it a mellifluous quality I’d never heard before.
He nodded absently, his fingers drumming away on his left knee. I waited for a follow-up question. Instead, he hunched his shoulders and stopped tapping to turn the page on his comic.
I tried to shift my attention back to the courtyard, my shoes, anything besides Hunter, but the six-foot figure of damp, mussed, and brooding boy proved just a little too
potent to ignore. I had a sudden craving to hear him say my name again, with that same melodic tone.
Mi-la.
I stifled a groan. Perfect. Kaylee’s boy-crazy ways must be rubbing off on me.
Hunter tilted his head up to the sky, closing his eyes and letting drizzle dampen his cheeks and eyelashes. Any other guy at our school would have looked silly in that position, like he was posing or something. Hunter just looked…peaceful. “The rain doesn’t bother you?” he said, seemingly half asleep.
I glanced up at the drifting mass of gray. The clouds blocked out any trace of brightness, casting the entire school in a haze of blah. “It’s actually a relief.”
He shot me a sideways glance, the curious rise of his eyebrows making me want to retract my words. I’d revealed too much. Any second now, and I’d get the pitying look. Any second now…
Instead his mouth softened into a smile. “Yeah” was all he said before closing his eyes again.
Just
yeah
. Nothing more. But that one
yeah
hinted at more understanding than a whole hour of lunch-table babble with Kaylee’s friends.
That one
yeah
unburdened me, like maybe I’d finally stumbled upon someone who could accept me as I was. This post-Philly, post-Dad version of me—not some happy,
unfettered, whole version that everyone seemed to want. Including Mom.
Maybe here, at last, was someone I could talk to. Only, as luck would have it, I couldn’t think of a thing to say.
I fumbled for a suitable conversational topic. Horses came to mind, but I had no idea if he rode or, like Parker, thought they were “smelly giants with big teeth.” No, I needed something he was interested in.
What did I know about him so far? Not much. He was new, he was from San Diego. He smelled a thousand times better than the guy who sat next to me in English. My gaze fell to the book in his lap.
“What’s that about?”
“
Ghost in the Shell
? The usual. Good guys versus bad. Major Motoko versus the Puppeteer.” He coughed, nudged his backpack with his shoe. “I should probably put it away. The rain…”
Before he closed the book, I peeked at the colorful graphics. I saw a girl with purple hair holding a big gun, standing in front of a weird-looking machine. Interesting, and definitely not the usual sort of thing students carted around with them here.
I pulled my knees to my chest and watched him unzip his bag and stuff the book in.
“Are you a fan of manga?”
I hugged my legs tighter and wondered how to respond.
“Don’t think so” was what I settled on. Not a total lie, but not an uncomfortable truth, either. “But I do like to read. Did you bring that with you in the move?” I couldn’t imagine he’d picked it up in Clearwater.
“Yeah. We had a great indie bookstore back in San Diego. They kept a manga collection, special ordered anything they didn’t stock.”
His slow sigh triggered an echoing wistfulness in me. Oddly enough, the knowledge that I wasn’t the only one longing for the past made my loneliness dissipate, just a teensy bit. Even if that longing was only for a bookstore, it served as a reminder. I wasn’t completely alone in this feeling. Hunter had been forced to leave favorite things behind, too.
With one arm still cradling my knees, I pulled the other up to rest against my cheek. To breathe in Dad’s flannel, searching for the minuscule trace of his scent that remained, the smell of sweet, pine-scented cologne. Every day it faded, leaving me terrified of the day the smell would disappear completely and I’d lose that last link.
“Gonna have to trek to Minneapolis to find a decent bookstore.” He paused, then added. “If you ever want to come with…”
“Okay,” I murmured past the giant knot clogging my throat. His kindness, losing Dad; my feelings were all blending together into one big explosive concoction. Who
knew which emotion would burst free at any given time?
“Hey. You okay?”
I swallowed hard, nodded, not trusting myself to speak.
“That your dad’s shirt?”
I nodded again.
“He died…recently?”
I cleared my throat, forced air into my lungs. All this time, I’d been complaining about how everyone tiptoed around Dad’s death. Only a hypocrite wouldn’t answer.
“Yeah. In a fire.”
I heard his shoes scrape wood as he shifted positions. “Rough. Were you there?”
Supposedly.
I sifted through my memory again, seeking flames, smoke, anything. Like every other time, nothing came.
And then I heard a scream. In my head, a girl’s scream.
The sound made the hair on the back of my neck prickle. But the only images to accompany it were those same white walls, a white lab coat. The smell of bleach.
Still no fire.
“I don’t remember.”
I felt his surprise more than saw it, because as soon as the words came tumbling out, I closed my eyes. I couldn’t believe I’d said that, and yet…instant relief.
The weight of his hand on my shoulder shocked me. “You okay?” he repeated. Softly.
“Yeah. But I don’t really want to talk about it anymore.”
When I peeked up between a few loose strands of hair, I was stunned to see that he wasn’t giving me one of those “what’s her deal?” looks, one of Parker’s specialties. “No problem.”
He closed his eyes. This time, the silence felt companionable. If I could have sat out there for the rest of the day, just feeling normal in someone else’s company for a change, I would have done it in a flash. But after a while, the warning bell stuttered its crazy ring, signaling lunch’s end.
Hunter groaned. He stretched his long arms over his head, an act that pulled his shirt tight across his chest and accentuated the fact that muscles existed there. I felt my cheeks flush and looked at my feet, whereas Kaylee would have squealed. Not that I couldn’t appreciate his physical attractiveness, because apparently I could. A lot.
But what was really compelling about him was his sensitivity. Something that none of the other girls even cared enough to discover before deciding he was potential boyfriend material.
That notion made me want to stuff him into my backpack and hide him away.
“Want to trade cell numbers? Just to talk and stuff,” he said.
I ducked my head before he could see my smile widen into an obnoxiously goofy grin. I gave him my number as I
pulled my phone out of my bag. “What’s yours?”
My hands vibrated two seconds later.
Our gazes locked while I pushed send and lifted the phone to my mouth. “Hello?”
“Now you’ve got it,” Hunter said. In stereo. He ended the call, tilting his head as he studied my phone. “A Samsung ie80? They still make those? No surfing for you, huh?”
I sighed, glaring at my phone. “No. My mom’s sort of anti-internet. Anti-computers, really. She won’t even let me get a laptop.”