Our Chance (Los Rancheros #4) (6 page)

I shrug. "It’s Chris Daughtry and you sound exactly like him. The first time I heard him on the radio, I had to do the app thing on my phone to see who it was."

Trigg says helpfully, "Shazaam, Mom."

Maggie gasps and jumps a little. "You sound like Daughtry? Oh my gosh! I never realized you liked alternative."

I look at her, confused again, because the old Brody lived alternative, down to the boots he’s wearing right now. How could she not know that?

Brody starts playing again and I hear him sing for the first time in eleven years. He starts singing about finally finding what he’s been looking for, for so long. He watches Maggie the whole time, and if my eyes weren't blue they would definitely be green right now. His voice is magic, and he only brings it out for backyard bashes or in private.

He takes me to another time when we used to jam out to Train and Bon Jovi in his room. But he's watching Maggie. When he finishes the song, she jumps up and tackles him screaming, "Oh my God! I can't believe it! Why aren't you on the radio?!"

He shrugs uncomfortably. "Never wanted to."

Maggie scoffs. "What?! That's crazy!"

I start strumming and come up with a song I shouldn't sing. It's another Cher Lloyd song called
Call Your Girlfriend
. It's about telling the current girlfriend that it's not her, you just found somebody new. I glance at Brody every so often and everybody else is flicking their eyes back and forth between us as the kids cheerfully provide the words.

I don't look at Maggie. I just sing off key with my kids, occasionally looking at Brody. His face is hard and his eyes glaring. He looks good and pissed.

When I finish the song, Brody starts singing
Masters of War
right away. Now, I'm the one pissed. He's singing about young kids going off and dying in front of my children.

When he is done, Trigg immediately asks, "Can you teach me to play that song?"

I pop up. "We’re done. Thanks for dinner, Glen. It was amazing. George, you’re as handsome as ever. We’ll come by later to let the kids see the animals. I love you."

We give hugs and I usher the kids out the door, completely ignoring Maggie and Brody. We walk home, even though I feel my buzz has worn off with his choice of song, I’m not getting behind the wheel of a car with my kids now. When we get home, I shoo the kids into the shower, then read them some of the
Odyssey
before tucking them in.

After changing into pajama shorts and a wide neck sweater, I let the dog out one more time. As soon as I step outside and shut the door, I see a shadow walking towards me—fast. I pull back and hit the side of the house, siding digging into my back. The light is on right above me, so I see it's Brody about two seconds before he flies up the stairs of the porch and into my face.

The skin on his cheekbones is tight and his eyes are glaring. I suddenly remember I'm mad at him and have no idea why he's in my space, since he stopped only six inches away from me. I throw my hands up and push as hard as I can. He rocks back on a foot then steps in even closer to me.

Bending down to get in my face, he growls, "You had no right to do that to Maggie."

I pull back and my head hits the house. "Me? Who cares about your little Barbie! You do not. Ever. Have the right to do that to my kids. That was inappropriate and you know it."

"Don't call her a Barbie. What's wrong? You can go off and get married but I can't?"

I pause. "Married? You're gonna marry her?"

"What is it to you if I did, Juliet? Fuck. You left me!"

I shake my head. "You didn't fight for me. You let me go."

His hand comes up and grabs my neck, not squeezing, but like he needs to make sure I'm not going anywhere. "I shouldn't have had to! Things were casual! We knew we were supposed to be together! Damn it!"

I start shaking and whisper fast, "We were broken up. Seeing other people. Besides, I was pregnant."

His face collapses, like he's in agony, and he wraps his other hand in my hair, pulling so my head tilts up. Through gritted teeth he grates out, "You weren't supposed to sleep with him."

I try to shake my head, confused, but I can’t move. “What? You never slept with any of the girls in high school? I never slept with anybody but him the whole time. You were off laying girls all over. Don’t be a hypocrite."

Brody puts his forehead on mine and rolls it back and forth, letting out a long sigh. I close my eyes and breathe him in. "Jules. What are we doing?" He sounds gutted and it makes me hurt, too.

"I don't know," I answer quietly. I feel his hand flex in my hair and hold my breath as he tilts my head back more but doesn't lift his. We breathe each other's air as he slides the hand around my neck to cup my jaw, his thumb on one side and fingers on the other. He pulls back to look at me in the light, then slams his mouth down on mine.

It's savage and violent. He squeezes my jaw to open my mouth and lunges his tongue inside. I whimper in my throat and sob a breath. It's been so, so long since I've been touched. Forever long. Six years, and before that a lifetime since Brody has touched me like this. Well, he was never this violent, everything was gentle and slow. This is like a volcano erupting. I throw my hands around his head and try to climb up his body. Brody rocks against me. I can feel how turned on he is.

He suddenly pushes me back and lets go of my hair. In a guttural voice he asks, "Did he do that for you?" I shake my head, my thoughts dazed and not making sense. "Did he get you hot this fast?"

My breath catches as my blood cools immediately. "Fuck you."

"What, you can't answer a question?" he asks mockingly.

I glare at him. "Does she make you hard this fast, Brody? Your girlfriend? The one who isn't dead? The one you just cheated on?"

"You left. You had babies and named them our names. You can't just come back here and expect me to drop everything to be with you."

I shake my head, incredulous. "I never said I wanted to be with you! You're the one who came to me. You're the one who kissed me. You're the one in a damn relationship. What are you doing?"

He turns away and looks out into the yard, running his hands over his hair. "Fuck if I know. Maggie's a good girl." He sits down on the first step and I move to sit next to him. We both look at the moon and stars that are shining, small in the sky, instead of each other.

I rub my lips over each other, his taste still there. "She's your Sebastian. You know what the difference is with that, though, don't you?" I ask him.

He answers, "I haven't knocked her up yet?" My stomach heaves at the thought of him having sex with her.

"I was going to say you don't have to be with her out of obligation."

He turns his head to look at me "You didn't have to be with him, either. I can tell you right now, with all that tail I was getting in high school, if something would have happened somehow, no matter how careful I was, I would damn sure take care of my kid. But I would never have left you."

I shrug helplessly. "It doesn't matter anymore. We were seeing other people. I didn't think you would want me with another man's baby. I was scared. He said he would take care of me. And I can't regret that because I have my babies, Brody. I learned to love him and we were happy. Shit happened. Bad, terrible shit I wouldn’t wish on anybody. And now I'm here."

We look out to the dark backyard, lost in our own thoughts. Brody asks me quietly, "What am I supposed to do? Maggie was enough for me a couple of days ago." He looks over to me. "Now I remember what I was trying so hard to forget."

I look away from him, uncomfortable again. "Why did you go into the Navy, Brody?"

He shrugs. "Why stay? You were gone."

"Then why did you come back?"

He sighs and looks at me a long time before saying, "I got out as soon as I could after I heard about him. I came back here. I've been waiting, and being pissed as hell I was waiting. Waiting and trying to move on at the same time. My mind is fucked, babe."

My breath hitches. Babe. I close my eyes and breathe in a deep breath. "You don't think you should cut your losses and move into a condo?"

"And always wonder if we could have what we were meant to? What we planned to? What we always wanted? I don't know if I can do that. I'm sure as fuck not sleeping with anybody else until we figure this out. You better not, either, or I'll kick your ass."

I push my shoulder into his. "You wouldn't hurt me, Brody."

He turns his upper body to me and says seriously, "This is probably the one and only chance we're ever gonna get, Jules."

I study his face then turn and tell the yard, "I haven't slept with anybody since Bastien died. I don't see that changing."

Brody puts his hands over his face and groans. I cringe. "Sorry, you probably didn’t want to hear that."

Brody takes his hands away and turns his head to me, his eyes hot. "You'd probably go off like a rocket the second I got inside you." He groans louder. "You're probably so tight."

I move away from him and state the obvious "I've had three kids, bub, the old fashioned way."

He shakes his head. "No. It's been more than five years, Jules. God. I need to talk to Maggie."

That’s my cue. I stand up and move to go into the house.

He grabs my calves and looks up my body. "To break up, babe. Blonde isn't my color anymore." He strokes my legs up my thighs to my hips and moves the sweater off of my stomach. He goes up to his knees, not letting me go, and I stop breathing as I feel his warm breath on my stomach. "I need something dark. Someone who tastes like tart apples and smells like night jasmine. How do you still smell the same?"

As he starts tugging my shorts down to expose my lower belly, I mumble, "Brody. Stop. We are not doing this. Mmmm. No. Girlfriend. Stop."

He grips tight on my hips and pushes his face into my stomach grumbling, "I can just get you off. No more. I just want to see your face when you come.”

I’m panting and my knees are going weak, but I shake my head. "No. We're doing this right. No girlfriends. We date."

"How many dates?" Brody asks, his lips brushing my skin.

I pull away and walk shakily to the door where Angus is waiting patiently. "I can't answer that right now. I'm weak. Goodnight, Brody."

I shut the door, and the last thing I see as I lock the door and turn the light off is Brody on his knees on my back porch.

I stand outside of our gate taking pictures of the kids and giving them kisses. "My babies. I will miss you so much, my darlings." I make a fool of myself so that they aren't nervous when they get on the bus. They rush from me, running to escape the crazy lady that is their mother. I debate banging on the bus, but don't want to freak any of the other kids out. I wave dramatically until they're out of sight then press my key fob to open the gates.

I jog back to the house, which is probably two hundred yards, but by the time I'm done I think I might pass out. I stumble into the house mumbling, "Fuck exercise—"

My words are cut off as a blur pushes me against the counter and grips my hair tight. I gasp and get a tongue in my mouth. I know it's Brody from his smell and taste. He's still the same, too. Wool, oil and man. He always tasted wild to me. I put my hands on his shoulders and turn my head. "What the hell are you doing?"

He leans back, eyes turned green with lust, panting with his hips pushed into mine and his back arched away from me. "I broke up with Maggie. She said she already knew it was coming. I couldn't sleep last night, thinking about you. The kids are at school. I'm not talking about sex. I just need to do this for you. Please."

A gorgeous man is begging to get me off? Umm, yes. It has been too freaking long for me to do anything else but give a feeble protest. "I just ran all the way here, let me take a shower. And then you can, ya know, get me off."

He rolls his eyes. "Are you for fucking real right now? I'm not waiting." He pulls me by the back of my head towards him and slants his head.

His other hand goes up my t-shirt and under my sports bra, palming my breast and then tweaking my nipple. I make a noise in the back of my throat as he groans. Brody moves both of his hands to push my bra up. His mouth leaves mine as he ducks his head to my chest. I hold onto his head and stare at the ceiling, seeing nothing and feeling like I'm about to come just from his mouth on my breasts. Arching my back, I lean back on the counter as his hands go to my upper back, pulling me to his mouth, flicking with his tongue.

Brody switches sides, giving each nipple equal attention. He moves down my body, pushing my sweats down fast with my panties. I hear a growly "Jesus, fuck" and open my eyes, straightening up to see Brody on his knees, a flush in his cheeks, lips red, eyes glittering as he stares at my most private place. He moves a hand over it. "I think this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." I laugh and he looks up, still serious. "What?"

I smile at him tenderly and rub my hand over his dark hair. "That's what you said the first time you ever saw me, when I was fifteen."

He tilts his head into my hand as I stroke his cheek. "Huh. Must be true then." He rubs a hand over me again. "This isn't shaved, though. Waxed?"

I shake my head. "Laser hair removal. Hurt like a bitch, but now I never have to worry about it."

Brody runs his hands down my legs and back up. "Fucking brilliant." All of a sudden he lunges for my body and sucks. The breath whooshes from my body as his tongue tunnels in. Sensations slam into my body, my nerves firing off as he plays me perfectly. He licks, sucks again, nibbles, flicks his tongue fast then presses it flat against my clit. I'm pulling his head closer, screaming, as I have the most intense orgasm I've ever had.

Brody doesn't stop. He parts me with the fingers of one hand and then pushes a finger of the other hand into me as I gasp and tremble. He starts moving that finger, which causes my hips to move against him.

He stops moving his hand and lets me grind myself against his mouth and fingers as he watches me with hooded eyes. When I get off again, my knees buckle and I slide down the cabinets. I sit on the floor then lean against the dishwasher to catch my breath

Brody slouches on the other side of me, against the island. He pushes his basketball shorts down and starts jacking off. His dick is bigger than I remember. Then again, it's been forever. Based on what he could do before, and how much he's improved, I know he could blow my mind with that thing.

He moves his hand up and down a few times before he's coming all over his chest, which is freaking amazing. He's all tanned, rippling muscles, and a mouthwatering V of muscle on his hips.

I pull the kitchen towel down from where it's hanging on the handle of the dishwasher and toss it to him as I catch my breath. He wipes off, then tosses it towards the doorway, and puts his head back on the cabinet, looking at me with hooded eyes.

"It's a good thing sex wasn't on the table this time. I have a feeling I'll always have to work up a resistance to you."

I roll my eyes and put my sweats back on. "You've always gotten off quick, Brody."

He laughs dryly. "I got off quick when I was sixteen, Jules. That's normal. It hasn’t happened that fast since, until just now. I am not a five-minute man, I can guarantee you. But with you, I have a feeling I'm gonna have to get off and work you up again, then go for another. You do something to me."

I hold up my hands as he reaches next to him to the little drink fridge and pulls out two bottles of water, tossing me one.

"Hey, I'm not knocking it. When we were kids, we had to hurry so we didn't get caught. Now we're gonna have to hurry so my kids don't catch us. At least now you know what to do with your tongue."

We laugh together as he holds out his hand. "High five for experience." I slap his hand, but he closes his around mine and pulls me to him. I slide on the hardwood floor as he reels me in.

He gives me a wet kiss. "I have a ton to do in the orchard. I need to go."

I stand up. "Me too."

As Brody leaves out the backdoor, he turns. "When do the kids get out of school?"

I turn from walking out of the kitchen archway. "Three thirty, why?"

He shrugs. "I just wanted to see how their first day went. I want them to like it here."

As I throw in a load of towels, including the dirty kitchen towel, I try and process what's happening. Did Brody really break up with his girlfriend of a year because of me? Did we really agree to date? Am I really going to start dating? Isn't this all happening really fast? How will the kids react? The rest of our family? My mind churns with questions I don't have any answers to.

As I throw the damp dishtowel into the washer, I feel the tears come. My breath sobs out forcefully from my chest. I slam the lid down, the sound echoing in the long room. Backing up, my knees buckle as I connect with the wall. I drive my hands through my hair.

What have I done? I’ve been celibate for longer than I was married. So why do I feel like I’ve cheated? There’s a weight in my chest, a sense of betrayal that burns my heart. Maybe because there’s always been a part of me that belonged to Brody. Sebastian made me feel like I was the exception to the rule when he picked me, loved me. Brody felt like I was the rule. Made me feel like no one could ever reach the bar I had set. As a teen, that feeling was a comfort, but easily taken for granted. Now, as a woman, I know those feelings were a gift.

Sebastian loved me. I know he did. But the Army took him away for over half of our marriage; I became independent in a way I never knew possible.

The swinging door beside me opens. My mother stands there with her hands on her hips. “This is the second time in as many days I’ve caught you in a meltdown, girl. That boy always did get you tied up in knots. Come tell me over coffee, darlin’.”

I accept her hands and she pulls me up and into a brief hug. When we’ve doctored our cups, we sit at the island and I let out a long sigh. Mom reaches over and pats my hand a few times before picking her mug up to blow on her drink, letting me start when I’m ready.

“Mom . . . Brody is so . . . and I’ve been alone . . . but he’s just . . . and then the kids and Sebastian . . .” I ramble as my thoughts race.

“Okay, Jules. So you’re saying Brody is his usual intense self, but you aren’t the same person he knew and he’s not giving you any adjustment time to moving here. Not to mention, you don’t want to freak out the kids or disrespect Sebastian. Did I get everything?” she sums up effortlessly, understanding me in a way that only one’s mother can.

"Yes", I sigh, wilting onto the table. I rest my head in my hands for a second before turning my head to look at her. "What do I do, Mom?"

I watch her purse her lips as she studies the top of her drink, as if the answers are written on the surface. Her blue eyes flash up to mine and I sit up straighter under their intensity. "You know your priorities. The kids come first. Everything has to be with them in mind. This isn’t high school, and you both need to learn what kind of adult relationship you have while catering to the feelings of your children. They have a routine, don’t turn that inside out. Go slow. Do not let him shoulder his way in here."

I think about how Brody had done nothing but shoulder his way in since I got here and I feel my eyes squint into a glare. This has to be on my terms, with my kids’ best interest in mind.

"Thanks, Mom. I know what I have to do," I say as I get up and put my cup in the sink. Brody doesn’t know me, not after eleven years. I’m a mom, while he’s been off doing whatever it is he’s been doing. I have a family. We have a routine that has to stay the same; children thrive on it. That decided, I turn to my mom and see her with a smirk on her lips.

"There’s my girl," she says as she starts heading for the door, giving my shoulder a squeeze before leaving the house.

My mind goes back to that word again. Routine. New house, new school, same expectations. I take the stairs two at a time to get ready for the day.