Our Heart (23 page)

I let up as she screamed, “Stop! I…can’t…breathe, her face turning red with frustration.

We lay there together, on our backs, under the branches of the tree, giving our heartbeats time to slow down and a chance for our breathing to return to normal. She let her fingers tenderly caress the top of my hand. I turned my hand palm up and our
fingers interlaced. Lying on the blanket, we looked up through the kaleidoscope of leaves, catching brief glimpses of the blue sky, high above. The light breeze and the shade of the tree made the temperature comfortable. I shut my eyes, enjoying the moment and wishing it would last forever. The peacefulness was abruptly broken by the sound of my stomach rumbling. I didn’t say anything and just tried to lie there, as if nothing had happened. Allison began to laugh, inwardly at first, and then with her whole body, until it began to shudder and she couldn’t hold it in anymore. Once she started to laugh out loud, I found myself joining in. I admitted to her that I was hungry, because I’d had such a busy day and didn’t have any time for breakfast; with going to church and all of the cooking I’d done, I’d barely even had time to sleep last night. She really started laughing hysterically before I could even finish my comment.

We exchanged puns back and forth, laughing harder with each new zinger, until our sides hurt and tears streaked our faces. Here, under the oak tree, I had never been happier in my life or been so in sync with another person. The pull between us was undeniably strong. Allison was someone I could easily fall deeply in love with. If this was what falling in love was all about, then like a spoiled child, I wanted more, lots more. We let our laughter slowly fade away into the sky above and, as we lay there, my mind drifted.

I replayed all the visions I previously had imagined our visit to the tree would be like. I envisioned many different outcomes and, in most of them, I had let my imagination and desires for Allison take hold. In my thoughts, we made love under the branches of the old oak tree. It was something I wanted very much, but as I lay on the blanket holding her hand, I realized I had found something extremely special with Allison. With her, I had found a special connection that went even deeper than the desires of adolescence. I had found a cohesive calmness
I never imagined possible. The gaping distance separating my mind from my heart became reconnected. I had to first put myself back together, before I would be able to offer myself to another person. Allison was the catalyst I needed to live and love again. It was a feeling so perfect, I couldn’t stop the single tear that escaped from the corner of my eye. I turned my head slightly to the side, away from Allison, and with my free hand wiped away the tear. It represented all of the fear and loneliness I had suffered in the past. I now believed I could let go of my anger and let someone be close to me once more. Before I let the emotion run away with me, I willed myself to sit up.

With Allison still resting on her back, I shifted my hips to the side and leaned over so I could look directly into her eyes. She looked as tranquil as I felt, and in her eyes I saw happiness and passion. With all the tenderness my heart felt, I let my fingers gently trace the outline of her face. I brushed her long, silky hair away from her eyes. She closed them, allowing the softness of my touch to wash over her. When she opened her eyes again, I saw a hunger in them too. I lowered my head until our faces were just inches apart. I smiled, as she held my gaze, and then she let her eyelids slowly close. I let my lips lightly touch hers and felt their softness give into mine. Our lips pressed more firmly together, and her mouth parted in anticipation. The warmth of our breaths mingled together as tongues tentatively explored, softly at first, and then passionately in a sweet dance. I let my eyes close and lost myself in our kiss.

Our hands began to caress each other’s bodies, and the kiss became deeper and filled with more yearning and need. Her hands moved underneath my shirt, and the sensation of her touch on my bare back sent pulsating currents of desire through me. We never broke our embrace for long, the need to stay connected and taste each other’s kiss was strong between us. The feel of our bodies touching and the escalating sensations nearly carried me away. I desperately wanted to be with Allison, and it was all I could do to restrain myself. I knew there would be a day, not too far away, when we would share more than just our hearts. I sat up and looked at her lying there, knowing in her I had found someone very special. I needed and wanted to know all of her. She opened her eyes, and I could see the uncertainty in them, as they struggled for clarity and searched for meaning within my face. I let my eyes avert from hers, and a deep sigh flowed throughout my entire body. Allison put a hand on top of mine. I sat there in silence for a moment longer, and then I found her eyes and trusted myself to look deep within them. The expression that greeted me was one of gratitude and compassion. A beautiful and silent understanding passed between us. Our bond to each other had become even stronger. I allowed myself one final indulgence. Holding her head in both of my hands, I kissed her with my promise of tomorrow.

We spent the entire afternoon under the watchful presence of the great old oak tree. The food tasted heavenly, and we devoured nearly everything I had brought. We spent hours just watching the butterflies and birds of the meadow, moving in sync with the world around them. From where we sat, we could see over the tops of the trees and far off into the distance. It was almost like looking far ahead into the future, one filled with hope and a new kind of fear. In my heart, I already knew I was falling deeply in love with Allison. Every day and every moment we spent together made the feelings grow stronger and deeper.

We didn’t even bother to set out all of the things Grandma Sarah had packed away in the picnic basket, just what we needed to quickly satisfy our hunger. Allison dug around until she found each of us a full set of silverware and a plate. I opened the cooler and laid the platter of chicken and the container of potato salad on the blanket. I put the bag of mixed vegetables and a carton of ranch dip down in front of our plates. I asked Allison to find the large plastic glasses in the picnic basket and she handed them to me. I filled them with ice from a special baggy in the cooler. I poured lemonade into a glass and handed it to her. After filling mine, I drank it all in one thirsty swallow and then refilled it. Before I sat my glass down, Allison handed me her empty one to be refilled too.

The chicken was great, and we laughingly fought over which one of us got to eat the last drumstick. Allison commented many times about what a great cook I was and how I would make some wife terrifically happy someday. She even wanted to know if I could do laundry too. We made each other laugh so naturally that we enjoyed the relative ease of just being together. The day outside was hot, but under the sheltering branches of the oak tree, it felt pleasant, even cool. When an occasional breeze blew by and dance across our skin, both of us would get goose bumps. I ate more than I thought possible, and Allison’s appetite was equally as strong. We decided to save the cherry pie for later. I picked up all of the trappings of our meal and neatly tucked them away. As I finished packing, Allison sat with her arms around her legs, looking off in the distance over the treetops. Watching her, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was having the same feelings I was, or if, perhaps, she was sorry things had become so passionate between us. I had no regrets and hoped she didn’t either.

I sat down next to her and put my arm around her shoulders. She leaned into me and we sat that way for quite awhile. The weight of the food was beginning to make me drowsy, and it was having the same affect on Allison. I stretched out on the blanket, and Allison took one look into my sleepy eyes and smiled. She snuggled into the
crook
of my arm, her head resting on my shoulder and one arm draped across my middle. We started to breathe in unison and, with the rhythmic movement of her body and mine together, I soon fell into a contented sleep.

When I woke up, Allison was no longer beside me. My first thought was she had left, and then I heard her voice call out to me from behind. “Hey sleepyhead, ‘bout time you woke up!” Turning around, I saw she was coming my way from behind the backside of the tree. She looked refreshed and beautiful. My heart went out to her once again. She plopped down next to me. “Is it time for the cherry pie yet?” she asked, looking into my eyes.

I couldn’t stop the silly grin and replied, “A woman after my own heart.” She kissed me on my cheek and told me she would happily go get the pie. When she came back, she carried it in one hand and two forks in the other. I asked her if she thought we were going to eat the whole pie. Her only response was to tell me to make sure I didn’t eat any of her half. I gave up before she did. When she put her fork down and howled in miserable satisfaction there was barely a fourth of the pie left.

The sun’s position had shifted around, so the warmth of the late afternoon light danced at the edges of our blanket. Allison leaned into me and kissed me gingerly. The taste of cherries on her breath caused a new sensation to stir inside of me. I moved into her, hungry again, and she was the one who pulled back this time.

She put both of her hands alongside my face and kissed me gently. Looking into my eyes she said, “You have my heart and we have plenty of time.”

I knew what she meant, and I smiled. The two of us were walking the same path of emotions. I was as drawn to her as she was to me. I brought her close to me and kissed her with all of my heart. We broke from our kiss, both of us knowing it was the perfect way to end an enjoyable day. It was time to leave the beauty of the meadow and the magic of the oak tree to return home. We packed everything up and, before we headed down the hill, I remembered the Tiki torches stashed on the other side of the tree. I went over to get them.

Allison looked at me and, shaking her head asked, “Anything else you forgot?” Sheepishly, I just shook my head. She wanted to look at the hearts carved on the tree one last time. In my mind, I saw the beginnings of a third heart, which someday might be carved into the old oak tree. I did not yet know what words would be enshrined within the heart, but a seed had begun to grow in the back of my mind.

I shouldered the pack and picked up the picnic basket and Allison carried the Tiki torches. We headed downhill and out of the meadow, back to our houses and separate lives. We might live apart from one another, but fate or chance had joined two hearts together to be forever connected by the magic of a tree and the music of life.

Chapter 14

“Hey? Jason…are you ok?” It was a voice from a dream and yet I felt it was real somehow. Again the same question, “Are you ok?” This time I began to register the who and where. Justin’s voice had penetrated the dream world I had slipped into. He was pulling me back to this time and place, and I fought the sound of his voice and the return to the present with all my heart and soul. I didn’t want to leave the memory of Allison and the day in Murphy’s meadow. The tears began to well up in my eyes and cascade heavily down my cheek. I couldn’t hold back the emotions as the two worlds began to cross and the feelings of both tore me apart. I felt arms encircle my neck and could smell the sweet scent of Aunt Marcie’s perfume. I gave into her caring embrace and she held me tightly until the tears finally stopped and I was able to open my eyes.

Aunt Marcie still clung to me, somehow knowing the comfort I needed. As I regained my focus, I could see Justin. I didn’t know what to do or say. I managed a choked, “I’m sorry,” and Aunt Marcie just hugged me tighter. I sighed and more tears escaped, followed by a complete trembling throughout my body. When I finally calmed down and my breathing returned to normal, I softly whispered, “Thanks,” into Aunt Marcie’s ear. With a final loving hug she let me go.

I knew I needed to get up and move around, shake the memories of the past from my head. I used the bathroom downstairs and tried to wipe the hurt from my face. I found an old pair of sunglasses in the junk drawer of the kitchen. After wiping them off with my shirttail, I put them on and headed out the back door. Without thinking about it, I had walked my way downtown and past the park where Allison and I had run the three-legged race. Instead of retreating from the happy thoughts, I let them fill me, and I gained reassurance in them. Even though the town held sad memories, it was more than balanced by the better times of my life spent here. I understood home was a place that I shouldn’t be afraid of any longer.

Bill’s was still on the same corner it had always occupied, and I smiled. There were a couple of new stores in town, complete with shiny new neon signs to welcome potential customers. Some stores I once had frequented were now gone, vacant with, “For Rent,” signs staring out from dusty windows. An idea began to stir inside of me, and I stopped to look inward through the front window of the old TV & Radio repair store, now empty of everything but memories.

Jim Osborn had run the shop forever it seemed. He could fix anything, but progress had won out in the end. When appliances became disposable, so did he. People didn’t fix things; they tossed them away and bought a newer, fancier, and cheaper one to replace the item that no longer worked. I put my forehead to the glass and placed my hands to either side of my head to block the reflection, allowing me to peer inside. A notion was forming in my mind and in my heart also. As I stared through the window at the empty space inside, I began to visualize a small music store all set up and full of customers, browsing CDs. I could see the racks of CDs and guitars hanging on the wall. Kids and adults mingling with each other, brought together by the common thread and bond of music between them. I knew the basement storage area, under the main floor, would be a perfect place to build a recording studio. It felt right and, for the first time in a long time, my life seemed to have found purpose and direction.