Our Little Secret (37 page)

‘Why . . . I mean, the Parkers . . . I don’t understand?’

Laura smiles at me and I can see she does, if I don’t. ‘I know you’re confused, but Edward and Marnie are very special people. I vetted them myself, and spent a long time discovering what they wanted to happen. I know that they love each other very much.’

I think back to them in the kitchen, the first time I saw them together. The way they touched each other unconsciously. The way they loved each other. And I know Laura is telling the truth. They do love each other. And that’s what hurt. Because I thought they loved me, too.

‘They have highly sophisticated tastes – as you have discovered. Personally, I think that perhaps a childless marriage allows a couple to be that way.’

Again Laura smiles at me, her eyebrow rising.

I can’t believe I’m in this car, having this conversation with her, but suddenly something slots into place and I feel calmer. A lot calmer.

She’s right. They do love each other. I see that so clearly now. That bit wasn’t a lie at all. And if planning an elaborate fantasy is what they have to do, to keep each other happy, then who am I to judge? If that’s what it takes to mend the heartache of a childless marriage, then so be it. But why did it have to be me?

‘I see,’ I nod.

There’s a small pause, and I let it sink in. They chose me. I start to see it all in a different light. It’s premeditated, calculated . . . yes. But bad? No, not bad, I decide. Flattering, actually.

I suddenly see Marnie so clearly, stroking my face. And how she held my hand in this very limo when we came back from the photoshoot and that incredible evening together. She was taking care of me.

And Edward, too, when he came to me after we’d been sailing, like he was lost and couldn’t help himself. That wasn’t faked. That was real. He was just as desperate for me as I was for him.

‘I hope you’ve had a good time, Sophie,’ Laura says, interrupting my thoughts. ‘It looked to me like you were enjoying yourself. They wanted it to be just as much of a fantasy for you, too. They planned it so carefully.’

I blush, looking away. She’s right. I did enjoy it. Every minute of it. Right from the start. And it was a fantasy for me. The plane, the limo, their home, their friendship – the wonderful, incredible times we shared. And although it’s all over, I know deep down that I wouldn’t have missed it for anything. That, if I had the choice, I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.

In the moment that follows, a steady realization comes over me: that in the light of everything Laura has said, I can’t hate them, or continue being angry with them. They didn’t set out to hurt anyone. Certainly not me. So maybe the fault was mine. For falling too deep. For them both. In what was just meant to be a game.

But they saved me, too. Because I remember how crushed I felt at home back in Manchester, that day Laura came all the way to ‘check me out’ in FunPlex. How stifled I was by my dead-end future. How bored I was, and scared. Scared that nothing brilliant or extraordinary would ever happen to me. And then this happened. The Parkers happened. And I got to have an adventure. An amazing, thrilling, life-changing adventure. I can’t hate them for that. Because it was everything I wished for, and more.

They trusted me. They still trust me. And they’ve spoilt me, too. They’ve opened my eyes and, yes, let me be complicit in an amazing sexual experience. One that I know now really will stay ours. Just ours. Have I really come out of it so wronged?

‘Sophie, are you OK?’ Laura asks.

‘Yes,’ I tell her, turning back to her. ‘Yes, I’m fine.’

She checks my eyes to see if I’m telling the truth, then turns to face me more. ‘The thing is, I wouldn’t have normally blown our cover like this, but we feel—’

‘We?’

‘Oh, right, yes. I think you thought she was Mrs Gundred, but she’s Sarah, my partner at the agency.’

I stare at her. Mrs Gundred was in on this, too? She had an acting role all along as well?

I close my eyes and shake my head a little. Laura lets out a comforting kind of laugh and puts her hand over mine.

‘Yes, I do appreciate it’s a lot to take on board,’ she says.

‘It’s OK,’ I tell her. ‘Go on.’

‘Well, we both feel that you’ve been an exceptional candidate. One of the best we’ve ever had. And I think you’ve enjoyed your experience. Am I right?’

I nod slowly. She looks relieved.

‘We just wondered, before you go home for good, whether you’d consider another assignment?’

‘Another assignment?’

‘Yes. Not immediately. You deserve a break, obviously. In fact, I wondered if you might want to come to Venice with me for a while.’

‘Venice?’

‘Yes, I have some business there, and I could explain the next . . . adventure.’

I stare at her, trying to wrap my head around what she’s saying. The choice she’s offering me.

The choice not to go home. Not to go back. But forward. Forward into a bright, unknown future. A future that could be as amazing as the recent past has been.

Because I see now, sitting here, that my episode with the Parkers is over. Our perfect fantasy has run its course. All my angst and fury at them have been totally misguided. They have treated me in the only way they could. They had to cut me off. I see that now. They had to let it be the perfect night, to make it special. For both of them – and for me, too.

I am so grateful now that I didn’t tell Harry anything. That our shared experience is still intact. That it will always be safe. A sacred memory for all of us. I know that now.

‘What sort of adventure?’ I ask Laura.

‘Well, it would involve travel again. And a hefty fee.’ She smiles at me and cocks her head. ‘And, of course, it would involve a certain amount of discretion. But then you’re more than capable of handling that.’

Edward’s voice chimes in my memory, along with Marnie’s.
It’s just ours. Our little secret
.

‘So, Sophie?’ Laura says, smiling at me. ‘What do you say?’

Our

Little

Secret

Jenna Ellis is a freelance photographer who has lived and worked all over the world. She is currently based in Harrogate, England, where she teaches life drawing.
Our Little Secret
is her first novel.

First published 2015 by Pan Books

This electronic edition published 2015 by Pan Books

an imprint of Pan Macmillan

20 New Wharf Road, London N1 9RR

Associated companies throughout the world

www.panmacmillan.com

ISBN 978-1-4472-6679-2

Copyright © Jenna Ellis 2015

Cover Images © Shutterstock

The right of Jenna Ellis to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

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A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

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