Out at Home (21 page)

***

She waltzed into the office the next morning and tried to catch Josh’s eye. He pointedly ignored her once again and her stomach fell. She’d talked to Tia about him the other day at lunch and Tia informed her that Lacy had decided to go spend some time with her mother in Evansville. Apparently, his anger at Taylor was spilling over into his own personal life.

Taylor took a deep breath and released it slowly. She had absolutely no clue how to fix this growing rift between her and Josh.

She plopped down at her desk and flipped on her computer. She watched in disinterest as her computer booted up and went through its usual warm-up routine. Once it finished, she signed into her email and began her daily weeding through the junk ritual. One email immediately caught her eye as the return address was from Jason Smith. She bit her lip as she contemplated opening it. Jason Smith was a pretty common name. It could just be more spam.

No, her brain informed her. It’s not. Her heart agreed.

She clicked on it quickly, before she could chicken out. Her eyes scanned his typed words carefully, taking in every consonant and every vowel.

Hey Sweetheart,

Didn’t I say two weeks? Do I know my man Brady or what?

Jason

Below his words were several pictures obviously taken with a cell phone. All of them showed Brady partying with Gretchen Steel.
When did she show up there
, Taylor thought as she scrolled through the photos of Gretchen wrapping herself around Brady and pawing shamelessly at him.

Her heart stopped at the same time as the mouse.

There was Brady sitting in a chair with Gretchen in his lap, her lips pressed against his. The next shot was pretty much the same except she had his hand on her thigh, right to the hem of her short skirt.

But Jason obviously saved the best for last. Brady and Gretchen had their arms wrapped tightly around each other as they stumbled into what was definitely a hotel room.

Taylor hit the power button on her computer, grabbed her bag, and pushed past a surprised Henry Lake in her rush to reach her car before the tears came.

Chapter Eighteen

Slamming her front door, Taylor locked it, and then slid down to the floor. Her whole body trembled as she clutched her bag to her chest. Her mind, thankfully, went blissfully numb.

She closed her eyes as she leaned her head back against the door. She knew she needed to talk to him; confront him, but she couldn’t think about that now. She just wanted to sit in her tiny living room, on the floor, and let the pain wash over her. Then, she could move forward and start to heal.

Her cell phone vibrated against her chest as she realized it was still in her bag. Exasperated, she opened her eyes and pulled it out.

“
Hello, Luther,” she muttered.

“
What the hell’s going on, Lockwood? Someone told me you bolted out of here like the place was burning down,” he ranted.

She swallowed. “I don’t feel well. I just had to get out of there.”

“
Where’s this background piece you told me you were working on?”

“
It’s almost finished. I’ll work on it here and email it to you.” She closed her eyes, praying he’d be satisfied.

“
Fine. But I want it by noon,” he demanded. She could almost see his furry brows angled down in annoyance.

“
Okay,” she relented.

They were both silent for a moment.

“
Taylor,” he began, voice softening. “Is everything all right? I know you’ve been having problems with Lake and now it seems like Parker’s not speaking to you. Is there anything I should know?”

She gulped. “No, Luther. Everything’s okay. I just don’t feel well.”

“
Okay, kid,” he said, releasing his breath. “Try and get that story to me by noon, huh?”

“
Yes sir.”

After ending her call, she turned off her phone. She forced her body off the floor so she could retrieve her laptop. She sat on her sofa, laptop on her legs, and took three long, cleansing breaths. She swept all thoughts of Brady into a little closet in her mind and locked the door. She focused her concentration on the machine waiting patiently in her lap and spent the next hour working on her background piece without her usual enthusiastic energy.

After she finally proofed it and emailed it off, she was tempted to click on the email from Jason once again. Her hand fisted above the keyboard for a moment. Instead, she signed out of her email program and slowly shut the laptop. She curled up in a tight ball on the couch and closed her eyes, welcoming the blanket of darkness that covered her.

The ringing of her landline woke her that afternoon, urging her body to get up to check to see who was calling.

Tia's cell number popped up on the handset but she let it go to voice mail. She couldn’t talk to anyone yet.

She stumbled back to the sofa and flipped on the TV. She avoided all sports channels and local news networks, not wanting to see anything remotely to do with the Racers and especially Brady. She settled on some game show and stared at the screen, not really seeing the program.

How could he do this to her again? What was he thinking? What was
she
thinking letting him into her life once more? How foolish she’d been to trust him.

Josh had been right. Maybe she should call him. She pondered that thought as she curled up once more on the sofa and let her dismal, depressed mind float off into blissful nothingness.

She awoke late in the afternoon and sat up, sweaty hair in wild disarray. She stumbled to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her once carefully made up face. She ran her fingers through her tangled hair before retreating to her bedroom to throw on a pair of comfortable shorts and an old t-shirt.

She spotted the locket Brady had given her for her birthday and choked back a small sob. Opening it carefully, she peered at the smiling, happy faces of her parents. She’d had a good relationship with her mother. They hadn't been extremely close but Taylor had never hesitated talking to her.

No, she'd been an extremely spoiled daddy’s girl at one time. He’d talked her through her first awkward year at high school and had encouraged her to open up more.

Before she'd come to Somersville, she’d been quite popular having joined many clubs and participated in quite a few sports.

She closed the locket and collapsed on her bed. The loss of her father suddenly occurred to her and smacked her in the face. Her lungs clenched in her chest, causing her to gasp for breath. Never again could he guide her through life’s ups and downs. Never again would he smile fondly at her and ruffle her hair.

She relented to the shaking sobs that wracked her petite body. She mourned for her vibrant mother and her laughing father. And she mourned for the man she thought could finally fill her heart with love once more.

A fresh wave of despair crashed over her as her mind drifted to Brady. She sat up on her bed, wiping furiously at the sticky mess of tears staining her face.

If this is what it feels like to lose someone you love over something stupid, imagine how Dad must have felt losing the love of his life suddenly in a horrific accident.

A few more tears streaked down her cheeks as understanding seeped through her mind. No wonder he'd been so lost. He’d tried a few times to get it together for his kids, but his pain must have been so overbearing. She smiled sadly and thanked God that at least his suffering was over and hoped he'd been reunited with his beautiful bride once more.

Rolling off the bed, she stumbled to her feet feeling as though she should do something. She wandered down the hall listlessly and spotted her cell phone taunting her from the coffee table. Grabbing it, she checked for messages. She squeezed her eyes shut and clutched at her heart as Brady’s voice echoed in her ear over and over.

She deleted his messages, threw her phone on the sofa, and walked to the kitchen. She opened the top cupboard and grabbed a bottle that she’d shoved up there months ago. It contained some kind of fancy vodka Tia had given her after Taylor had written her first story.

She cracked it open and filled a glass half way. She gulped most of it down and winced as the liquid flew down her throat, scorching it and burning her eyes. She paused to catch her breath before finishing the glass.

What the hell
, she thought as she poured some more.
If it numbed Daddy’s pain, maybe it’ll numb mine.

***

The earth was shaking.

Knives stabbed the front of her brain as the earth rattled her body once more.

“
Taylor? Are you okay?” a voice asked from somewhere above.

The cool tile on her heated cheek was more glorious than anything she’d ever experienced.

“
Taylor!”

Tia. It was definitely Tia. The earth wasn’t shaking her body - Tia was.

“
Huh, wha…” Taylor mumbled, grappling with coherency. “Don’t do that.”

“
Taylor, honey,” Tia whispered, kneeling down next to her. “What’s wrong?”

“
That stuff made me sick,” Taylor mumbled dragging her face away from the beloved cool tile floor. She pushed her messy hair from her cheeks and cracked one eye open to look at her friend. “What are you doing here?”

“
Making sure you didn’t kill yourself from alcohol poisoning.” She pulled Taylor to a more comfortable sitting position and turned on the taps in the tub. “Get undressed and get your ass in the shower.”

Taylor grumbled but slowly did as Tia asked. Her head pounded and her stomach churned but once the warm water hit her, she started to feel as though she’d live.

She climbed out a few minutes later and wrapped a big fluffy towel around her body. She made her way into her bedroom where Tia had set out some clean underwear, a pair of shorts, and a bright yellow t-shirt. She slowly yanked her clothes on and followed the scent of coffee to the kitchen.

Tia smiled at her. “Sit,” she ordered and pushed a plate with bland toast and two aspirin in front of her. “Eat that and take those.”

Taylor did as ordered, sipping slowly at the coffee.

“
Ready to tell me why you went on a drinking binge? And why the hell you haven’t answered any of Brady’s calls?”

Taylor winced at the mention of his name. She gently set her mug down on the table and rubbed at the dull ache still lingering in her forehead. “Not really.”

“
Taylor, something awful had to have happened for you to do this,” Tia insisted.

“
I can’t talk about it right now.” She bowed her head and spun her mug around on the table. “I hate to say that to you but I’m still trying to process it myself.”

“
When did you start drinking?”

Taylor shrugged. “Yesterday afternoon some time.”

“
Did you eat anything?”

Taylor shook her head.

Tia sighed and glared at her friend. “You do realize that its past three on Friday afternoon, right?”

Taylor winced again. “No. I sort of lost track of time.”

“
Brady’s called me three times since last night and when I talked to Uncle Luther this morning, he told me you’d gone home sick yesterday and he didn’t expect you back until Monday.” She eyed Taylor’s bent head. “What’s going on?”

“
Nothing,” she mumbled. “I’ll deal with it.”

Tia rose from her seat, her anger sending the chair crashing to the floor. Taylor covered her ears to protect her thudding head from the noise. Tia stormed out of the room only to return with Taylor’s cell phone. She stuck it under Taylor’s nose.

“
Call Brady. Let him know you’re okay.”

“
He’s playing right now.” She lifted her head to meet Tia’s eyes.

Tia gave her a stern look. “Leave him a voice message.”

Taylor got to her feet, nearly slamming her mug in the kitchen sink. “I don’t want to talk to him right now.”

“
Geez, Taylor! It’s just voice mail.”

She glared at her friend. “Well then
you
leave him a message.”

A knock on the door startled both women. Tia brushed past Taylor to answer it. A moment later Zoey breezed into the kitchen.

“
You look awful, girl,” she observed.

“
Brady sending in the reinforcements?” Taylor asked, her tone snide.

“
No,” Zoey answered slowly, flashing Tia a questioning look. “Tabby did.”

“
She ain’t talking,” Tia remarked as she leaned against the kitchen counter, crossing her ankles and her arms. “And she refuses to call Brady.”

“
Then I will,” Zoey stated, digging her phone out of her purse. She smirked at Taylor. “They are on a rain delay, after all.”

Taylor’s jaw dropped as her eyes widened. “Please, Zoey. I can’t talk to him right now.”

“
Why?” Zoey asked, her eyes gentling.

Taylor took a deep breath and sank back into her chair. “Call him and tell him I’m fine, if you must. But I’m not talking to him.” She sighed and waved a hand absently at Zoey. “Call him and get it over with. When you’re done, I’ll show you why.”