Authors: Jan Karon
“Oh, shoot, I forgot about your hearin' aid bein' so sensitive, was that me that made it go off? It sounds like a burglar alarm, I thought th' old one was better, here, have some gum, it's sugarless. Look! There
he is, there's Mule, mama, see? Th' one in the grass over yonder, idn't he cute,
Mule, honey, we're up here, look up here, sweetie,
oh mercy, the ball like to knocked his head off.
Pay attention to what you're doin', Mule!
“Mama, you want a hotdog? I'll get us one at th' end of fifth innin', Velma made th' chili. I didn't say it's chilly, I said Velmaâmama, are you sure that hearin' aid works right, it seems like th' old one did better, and look at what you paid for it, an arm and a leg, you want relish? I can't hardly eat relish, it gives me sour stomach.
“How in th' world you can knit and watch a ballgame is beyond me, I have to concentrate. See there, that's th' preacher Mule hangs out with at the Grill, th' one I gave a mask to th' day you got a perm, you remember, I can't tell whether he tries to hit a ball or club it to death. That's his wife on third base, I think she bleaches with a cap, I never heard of a preacher's wife playin' softball, times sure have changed, our preacher's wife leads th' choir and volunteers at th' hospital.
“Go get 'em, Avis! Hit it outta there!
I wonder why Avis idn't married, I think he likes summer squash better than women, but it's important to really like your work. Lord, he sent that ball to th' moon! Look, Mama, right over yonder, see that man eyeballin' you? So what if he's younger, that's th' goin' thing these days, I told you blondes have more fun. Whoa, did you see that, he winked at you, well, maybe he got somethin' in his eye.
Hey, ump, pitcher's off th' plate, how thick are your glasses?
“That red-headed kid, that's Dooley, he's sort of th' preacher's boy, he's a real slugger and he can run, too. Was that a spitball, Mama, did it look like a spitball to you?
Spitball! Spitball!
Who is that umpire, anyway, he's blind as a bat and deaf as a tater, oops, I better go down an' get in line, did you say you want relish?”
Ben Isaac Berman, whose family had brought him to Hope House all the way from Decatur, Illinois, was liking this ball game better than anything he'd done since coming to Mitford in July.
He liked the fresh air, the shouting, the tumultâeven the heat was a
makhyeh
âthough he didn't like the way his hotdog had landed in his lap, requiring two Hope House attendants to clean it up. What he couldn't figure was how chili had somehow made its way into one of his pants cuffs.
He felt like a
shlimazel
for not having better control of his limbs. But then, there was Miss Pattie sitting right next to him, who couldn't control a thought in her head, God forbid it should happen to him.
He also liked the game because it reminded him of his boyhood, which was as vivid in his recall as if he had lived it last week.
Take that boy at second base, that red-haired kid who could run like the wind. That was the kind of kid he'd been, that was the kind of kid he still was, deep down where nobody else had ever seen or ever would, not even his wife, blessed be her memory. Even he forgot about the kid living inside him, until he came out to a game like this and smelled the mountain air and heard the crack of the batâthat was when he began to feel his own legs churning, flying around to the bases and tearing up the dirt as he slid into home . . . .
At the bottom of the seventh inning, the score was 10-10.
“It's our bat and we've got three outs,” said the rector. “We don't want any extra innings, so let's finish now and go home winners.”
His shirt was sticking to him. He felt like he'd been rode hard and put up wet, as Tommy Noles used to say.
He watched as Mule Skinner stepped up to bat.
The ball came in high.
“Ball one!”
Mule swung at the next pitch and cracked it over second base into center field. The rector was amazed at Mule's speed as he sprinted to first. This game would be fodder for the Grill regulars 'til kingdom come.
After Jena Ivey made the first out of the inning, it was Pauline Barlowe's turn to bat.
She looked confident, he thought. In fact, she'd made a pretty good showing all afternoon, but had a tendency to waffle, to be strong one minute and lose it the next.
She took a couple of pitches, and slammed a hit to second base. Dadgum, a double play! But the second baseman kicked the ball, and all runners were safe.
“Time out!” yelled Buck, striding onto the field.
“OK, Pitch,” he said to Lew Boyd, “you've been a defensive star all day, I want you to use that bat and get the big hit. Or give me a fly ball to the outfield to advance the runners.”
“I'm gonna give you premium unleaded on this 'un.”
The first pitch came down the middle.
“Strike one!”
Lew hit the next pitch into right field, where the outfielder nailed it and threw it to third. The runners held.
Two outs.
Dooley hurried into the batter's box and scratched the loose dirt to get a strong foothold.
Buck yelled, “You've got to get on base. Can you do it?”
“I can do it!”
Poobaw Barlowe squeezed his eyes shut and prayed,
Jesus, God, and ever'body
 . . .
The rector was holding his breath. Dooley had been on base every time he came to bat today. He saw the determined look on the boy's face as he waited for the pitch.
Realizing her feet were swelling, Fancy Skinner removed her high heel shoes and put them in her mother's knitting bag.
Coot Hendrick hoped to the good Lord he would not lose the twenty-five dollars he had bet on the Reds. He had borrowed it out of the sugar bowl, leaving only a few packages of NutraSweet and three dimes. He squirmed with anxiety. His mama might be old, but she could still whip his head.
Crack!
Dooley connected on a line shot into the outfield, which was hit so sharply that Father Tim stopped Mule at third.
“Way to go, buddy, way to do it, great job!” he yelled.
Dooley punched his fist into the air and pumped it, as the crowd hooted and cheered.
With two outs and the bases loaded, it was Adele Hogan's turn at bat.
“OK, Adele, let's get 'em, let's go, you can do it!” For tomorrow's services, he would sound like a bullfrog with laryngitis.
“Ball one!”
The second ball came in on the outside.
“Ball two!”
She swung at the next pitch.
“Strike one!”
The stands were going crazy. “Hey, ump,” somebody yelled. “Wake up, you're missin' a great game!”
The ball came down the middle.
“Strike two!”
Two balls, two strikes. Adele stooped down, grabbed some dirt and rubbed it in her hands, then took the bat and gripped it hard. The rector thought he could see white knuckles as she rocked slightly on her feet and watched the pitch.
She caught the ball on the inside of her bat, away from the heavy part, sending it into short left center field.
Nobody called for the ball.
The outfielders all moved at once, collided, and stumbled over each other as the ball fell in. Adele Hogan ran for her life and reached first base as Mule scored.
The game was over.
The crowd was wild.
The score was 11-10.
Ray Cunningham huffed to the field with the mayor's ball and asked Adele to sign it. Unable to restrain himself, he pounded her on the back and gave her a big hug, wondering how in the world J. C. Hogan had ever gotten so lucky.
Ben Isaac Berman pulled himself up on his aluminum walker and waved to the red-haired kid on the field. He squinted into the sun, almost certain that the boy waved back.
The
Muse
editor, who had been sitting under a shade tree, panted
to first base and cranked off a roll of Tri-X. All the frames featured his wife, who, as far as he was concerned, looked dynamite even with sweat running down her face. He wondered something that had never occurred to him before; he wondered how he'd ever gotten so lucky, and decided he would tell her that very thingâtonight.
Well, maybe tomorrow.
Soon, anyway.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
“You know how I respect your judgment, I don't fight you on much.”
“That's true, you don't.”
Ron Malcolm had come to the rectory, and they'd taken refuge behind the closed door of the study.
His senior warden looked pained, but firm. “The time to sit on this thing is over. We've got to make a decision, and the only decision to make is to sell it to Miami Development. You know why, I know hy. We can't afford to do otherwise.”
Father Tim sat back in the chair. He was exhausted from the ordeal of it, from the conflict between hard-nosed reality and his own intuitions, however vague. He had prayed, he had stalled, he had wrestled, he had hopedâall the avenues open to most mortalsâand like it or not, there was nothing else he could do.
“All right,” he said.
At the front door, they shook hands on what had been agreed, and Ron went down the walk to his car.
The rector stood there, looking through the screen into the dusk. Treat it kindly . . . .
“Now, Miss Sadie,” he said aloud, “don't be wagging your cane at me. I did the best I could.”
He was running late for the meeting, having just fled one at First Baptist, and stopped at the water fountain in the parish hall corridor.
Around the bend to the right, he heard footsteps on the tile floor, and someone talking.
“The old woman was lucky to die a natural death, the furnace in that dump could have blown her head off.”
Ingrid Swenson. Then he heard the murmured assent of her nail-biting crony, and their mutual laughter as they passed through the door into the parish hall.
The voices around the table droned on. He tried to pay attention, but couldn't. It was all done but the signing of the contract. There was hardly any reason for him to be here.
His gaze roamed the assembly. Buddy Benfield was grinning from ear to ear. Ron Malcolm was facing down Ingrid Swenson in a last contest of wills concerning the crumbling pavement of the Fernbank driveway. Mamie Gordon, who had a new job at the Collar Button, was looking anxiously at her watch. Sandra Harris was trying to figure how she could pop outside for a smoke. Clarence Daly was trooping in with a tray of cups and a pot of coffee.
The phone rang in the parish kitchen, but no one moved to answer it.
Sandra drummed her nails on the table, impatient. “We look forward to seeing Fernbank turned into a spa,” she said to Ingrid, “but I hope you don't try to push body wraps and mud, I don't think anybody around here would go for that.”
The phone continued to ring.
“So,” said Ron, “even though our attorneys have gone over the contract thoroughly, let's take one last look before we sign, to the advantage of all concerned.”
“I can't imagine what purpose that will serve.”
Ron smiled. “Won't take but a couple of minutes.”
The phone persisted.
“Here you go,” said Clarence, setting cups before Ingrid and her associate. “Fresh out of th' pot.”
“Oh, for Pete's
sake,
” said Sandra, “why doesn't somebody answer the phone?”
Nobody moved.
“Who would let a phone ring like that, anyway?” Scowling, she marched to the kitchen.
Ron glanced at Ingrid. “I've struck through and initialed your clause about the driveway repairs being a responsibility of Lord's Chapel.”
She gave him a cold look and pushed the coffee away.
“Father! It's Andrew Gregory on the phone!”
“Tell himâ”
“He's calling all the way from Italy. Says it's
important
!”
“Excuse me,” he said, leaving the table.
Sandra handed him the receiver with a look of rekindled interest in the morning's proceedings. The most exotic call she'd ever had was from Billings, Montana.
“Andrew?”
“Father, Emma told me I could find you in the parish hall. Sorry to disturb you, but something . . . terribly important has just happened. Is the Fernbank property still available?”
“Well . . .” For about five minutes, maximum.
“I'd like to make an offer. I'll wire earnest money at once.”
Had he heard right? Was he dreaming this?
“Two hundred and ninety-five thousand, Father.” Andrew took a deep breath. “As is.”
He felt a sudden, intense warmth throughout his body, as if he were melting in a spring thaw.
“Andrew?”
“Yes?”
“Consider it done!”
He didn't think he'd ever confess to anyone, not even his wife, how thrilled he'd been to see the look on Ingrid Swenson's face.
No.
Ecstatic
was the word. He'd been forced to restrain himself from leaping into the air, clicking his heels together, and whooping.
Upon being told that Fernbank would in fact be sold, but not to Miami Development, Ingrid Swenson had used language that, as far as he knew, had never been spoken on the grounds of Lord's Chapel. Mamie Gordon had actually put her hands over her ears, her mouth forming a perfect O.
When he saw Andrew, he would kiss his ring, the very cuff of his trousers! He would sweep his chimney, wash his windows, put him at the head of the Christmas parade in Tommy Ledbetter's yellow Mustang convertible . . . the possibilities for thanking Andrew Gregory were unlimited.
Hallelujah!
“I'm jealous,” said his wife, rejoicing with him.
“Whatever for?”
“You weren't this happy on our wedding day!”
“How quickly you forget. Let's dance!”
“But there's no music.”
“No problem!” he said, doing a jig step. “I'll hum!”
Happy Endings was having a twenty-percent-off sale on any book title starting with A, to commemorate August.
“What about Jane Austen, can I get twenty percent off?” asked Hessie Mayhew, who didn't have time to read a book in the first place.
“Sorry, no authors starting with A, just book titles,” said Hope Winchester.
He staggered to the counter with
A Guide to Fragrance in the Garden, Andersonville: Men and Myth
(Walter's Christmas present),
A Reunion of Trees, A Grief Observed, Alone
by Admiral Byrd,
Anchor Book of Latin Quotations,
and
A Child's Garden of Verses.
“A very perspicacious selection!” said Hope.
“Thank you. My wife will not be thrilled, however, as we have no place to put them.”
“As long as you have any floor space at all, you have room for books! Just make two stacks of books the same height, place them
three or four feet apart, lay a board across them, and repeat. Violà ! Bookshelves!”
“I'll be darned.”
He nearly always learned something new on Main Street.
The nave of Lord's Chapel became a deep chiaroscuro shadow as dusk settled over Mitford. Candles burned on the sills of the stained-glass windows to light the way of the remnant who came for the evening worship on Thursday, scheduled unexpectedly by the rector.
Winnie Ivey had donated tarts and cookies for a bit of refreshment afterward, and the rector's wife had made pitchers of lemonade from scratch, not frozen. Hearing of this, Uncle Billy and Miss Rose Watson, not much used to being out after dark, arrived in good spirits.