Outcast (11 page)

***

Lan woke in the darkness, disoriented, his head throbbing. He was in his own quarters, but had no memory of how he'd gotten there. The time flashed from the clock on the wall and he felt a sudden panic. He was late for duty, horribly so. His body ached as he swung his legs out of bed and sat up, wincing as his weight crushed the edge of his testicles against the mattress. Having genitals was going to take some getting used to.

His body felt renewed. No more pain, no more sickness. The echo of the previous night's activities cast still-delightful shadows on his muscles, his penis, his heart. It was all he could do to remind himself that it was the princess he'd made love to, and not Prez. The memory was just as real to him as the stink of the chemical shower he was stepping into. He felt his mind coming back together, as if his thoughts had been a scattered herd of animals that he'd just managed to wrest under control.

He rubbed his body under the blast of the spray, which tickled against his penis and made him jump and giggle involuntarily. He ran his hands over the new parts, rubbing his penis and trying to clean it, and the rubbing felt sort of nice for a bit and before he knew it, the thing was hard and he tried to leave it alone but there was a nice spot just under the head that if he touched... just rubbed it a little... and
oh
, just like that... and then to his surprise, his knees buckled and he came all over the wall of the shower. He rested his shoulder against the wall and tried to catch his breath. It was nothing like the momentous orgasm he'd had the night before, a little mechanical -- like a sneeze -- but still, very enjoyable.

As he pulled on his clothes, he felt a stab of worry about what he was going out to. Had Kai discovered his intrusion? He dismissed the fear with a shake of his head. If she had, he surely wouldn't be alone in his quarters; he'd be standing before her at the center of a hideously embarrassing diplomatic incident, no doubt preparing to be ejected into space for his crime.

Now he was able to think logically again, he realized how the whole thing had been complete madness. But he'd been driven by forces beyond his control. If there were consequences, he would face them gladly, because no matter what happened next, he had seen the stars, and the Elders were right... there was no feeling like it in the universe. Now he knew what he was, and -- he smiled to himself as he polished his boots and stepped out of his quarters -- who he
loved
. It meant his fate was sealed; he could never go back to Aldor now. But when he thought of Prez, his heart thrummed in his chest and he didn't care where he ended up -- brothels, bars, or even illegal brothels and bars, just as long as he was near Prez, to take care of him and love him as -- Lan realized suddenly -- he'd been doing from almost the first moment they'd met.

There was, of course, a minor problem of what to wear -- the trousers he'd bought nipped uncomfortably at his new genitals and he stood at the bottom of the access shaft, hoisting his balls up and pushing them down first one leg, then the other, to see which suited better. He took the metal rungs slowly, not lifting his knees too high, and when he stepped into the bridge, he pulled the robes tight around himself. The friction of the material and the sensation from the recent grabbing was making his penis go hard again. He was unused to his body parts acting of their own accord and frowned. What was he to do with the thing?

Prez was slumped over the console, snoring softly. Lan slipped into his chair and looked at Prez's face, longing to touch him again. Or not...
again
. It was the princess he'd made love to, he had to keep remembering that. And Prez could never find out what he'd done, he knew that for certain. The breach of professionalism alone would surely mean his instant dismissal at the very least.

The captain's shirt was unbuttoned at the neck, and Lan studied the ink flower that bloomed at the base of Prez's throat while his heart pounded blissfully. Prez would want to sleep somewhere more comfortable than that. The need to touch him was almost overpowering, so Lan put out his hand and stroked the hair from the captain's forehead. He couldn't keep the smile off his face. Then he shook Prez gently and sat back in his chair, trying to concentrate.

Prez sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Where have you been?"

"I am truly sorry," Lan said. "I was ill, and I was deeply asleep. But... I am well again now."

There was a silence. Prez grunted and stretched, his shirt pulling up and exposing his belly. Lan wriggled in his seat. He remembered then, out of nowhere, something he'd puzzled over as a child, the mystery of the
faolan
wind orchestras. Playing the
faolan
was very popular among men of a certain age, but Lan couldn't understand why there were no famous male players despite the number who professed to play it frequently. When he'd asked about the issue at home his mother had been most amused, and she'd even explained that there were few professional male players because females had softer lips and could blow the instrument more beautifully.

Now he could see it clearly, the "instrument" that men would go off and play. And he had naïvely believed that there were no secrets among telepaths. Those liars! And his mother...! He threw back his head and laughed aloud. Then he realized that Prez was watching him, and made an effort to be serious.

"I am sorry," he said again, pressing his knees together to check on the progress of his erection. It still was not fully hard, so he crossed his legs and hoped the tingling of blood would go away.

"Lan..." Prez scratched his head, then jumped as the spider ran out of his hair and sprang onto the arm of his chair before scuttling underneath the console. He looked so comical and
sweet
, Lan couldn't help laughing again. Prez stared after the spider and smiled. "Forgot he was in there," he said. "Lan, what's going on? You look... different. You're...
laughing
."

Lan looked at him. No more stars, but still the same feeling of total adoration and completion. How on earth could he hide it? Then he remembered that Prez could only read his face, not his mind, and he had forgotten to practice
looking different
after the shock of the doctor's diagnosis. "I look different," he said. "In what way?"

He felt Prez's gaze travel up and down his body, and his heart started to beat harder. He willed it to slow, and to his relief, it did. His offending member had also decided to behave and he was glad he did not have to run out and beat it into submission. The image made him explode with laughter again, and he leaned forward onto the console, his shoulders shaking helplessly.

"Have you been drinking?" Prez asked, his eyes narrowed. "Because you know we're going to be at the asteroid belt in under three hours. I need you focused, not giggling like an Andran in a tax office. And it's too late for me to get any decent sleep now."

The realization that Prez was annoyed with him hit Lan like a bucket of freezing water. "I am sorry," he said again, suddenly contrite. "I have not been drinking. You may administer a test if you wish. I will not laugh again."

Prez sighed. "I don't want you to stop
laughing.
"

"I do not understand. How do you wish me to behave?"

"Look, I'm tired, and that came out wrong. It's... well. I just don't understand what's going on, that's all. Something's not normal."

Lan thought again of the
faolan
puzzle and tried in vain to stop smiling. How could he tell Prez what had happened, what he'd done? While he considered what to say, his gaze fell on the flower at Prez's throat. It was an orange blossom, shaped like a long bell with a vicious-looking tongue sticking out the bottom.

Without thinking, Lan reached out his finger and traced the petals of the flower. "This picture is beautiful," he said. "What genus of flower is it?" Prez's skin was smooth and warm, and he could feel a faint pulse under his fingers. He drew his finger along the tongue of the plant and something behind the skin started to glow faintly, giving the flower the appearance of a pattern on a paper lantern. Then realized what he was doing and took his hand away, embarrassed.

There was a silence. "It's an Akilian spitting orchid," Prez said eventually in a strained voice. "They're... um, carnivorous plants, usually eat flies and moths. But they spit at anything that passes, even beasts hundreds of times their size." He buttoned his shirt back up and lifted his jacket. "I'll... I'm just going to take a quick... shower before... you know. The asteroids," he said and disappeared from the bridge.

***

Prez shut himself in his quarters and locked the door manually. He let out a long, shaky breath and set his jacket on the bed. If he'd needed any proof that Kai's vaccination hadn't worked, it was throbbing hard in his pants. Glancing at his flustered face in the mirror, he saw that the
kel-mah
gland behind his tattoo was glowing, pulsing in time to his heartbeat, and groaned. Only one other person in the universe had ever lit him up like that, and he was long gone. It was a sign of impending disaster, he was sure of it.

There was no way Lan could have known how shockingly intimate his gesture had been. In polite society, it was the equivalent of dropping to your knees and sucking on someone's cock. He cursed the orchid tattoo for constantly drawing attention to the fact that at least one part of him was truly Akilian. Why had he ever allowed Garlo to do it? Then again,
not
allowing
Garlo to do anything had never really been an option.

Cutting off the thought, he stripped out of his clothes and stepped into the shower, for once welcoming the sting in his eyes from the chemical spray. His body was stiff from sleeping at the console, and he massaged his shoulders and thought about Lan. It was quite obvious that the Aldorian had been deeply distressed about something, no matter how much he'd been trying to hide it. And now... clearly the cause had gone. But Prez couldn't think of any reason for the fact that Lan was now grinning idiotically and exploding with giggles like an air volcano. He thought about the inTox test kit he kept handy in case of passing patrollers looking for a drunken pilot and a bribe, but surely
Lan
wouldn't... especially with Kai on board... but then again, he'd never even
seen
an Aldorian prior to meeting Lan, let alone worked with one, so who knew what they got up to in their free time?

And there'd been plenty of that. Prez couldn't wait to get to the asteroid belt. It was dense and dangerous, and at least four ships were lost in it every month. The radiation often knocked out the most sophisticated of AutoNav systems, and the gravitational pull from some of the bigger asteroids coupled with the debris from crashed ships -- which didn't always show up on scanners until it was too late -- made the crossing the most difficult part of the journey to Belaar. And they'd been forbidden to use a jump gate in case of damage to the cargo, although that seemed like one precaution too far. Still, flying through the asteroids was one of the best natural highs a pilot could get.

He felt slightly better after the shower. The
kel-mah
had gone back to sleep, he was pleased to note as he toweled his hair and styled it in the mirror. There was nothing like the stink of chemicals to knock a hard-on on the head. He laughed at the image and made his way back to the bridge. Kai was there, standing behind Lan, with one big hand resting on the back of Prez's empty chair. She had changed into her imperial robes; long swathes of purple silk and a conical hat perched high on her head. The asteroid belt swam ahead on the RealViewer, dense and daunting. Prez cracked his knuckles and sat down.

"Joining us, Kai?" he said, keeping his tone neutral.

"I will watch," she said.

"My pleasure," he said. He cleared his mind of annoyance at Kai's presence and flicked a switch at his head. Music began to play and he cranked it up. The adrenaline was starting to flow, and he rubbed his hands and maneuvered the ship into position at the usual coordinates.

"What is this noise?" Kai bellowed over the sound.

"This, my friend... is rock and roll." He glanced at Lan and grinned. "Let's do it!"

Chapter Eight

It was quite remarkable, Prez reflected afterwards, how easy the navigation had been with Lan there. Despite his co-pilot's previous bizarre behavior, he'd been professional and focused and hadn't missed a beat. It was almost as if there was some sort of telepathic link between them, how their hands moved over the controls in almost perfect synchronicity, how he hadn't needed to give any instructions on when to engage the different thrusters, or how to maximize the slingshot effect of the gravitational pull of the larger asteroids. When the
Outcast
had emerged into the inner ring of the belt where the asteroids were smaller and infrequent, Prez sat back and clicked off the music.

"Three hours and thirty five minutes," he said. "A new record, in fact."

Kai snorted. "Perhaps it would have gone quicker had we not been subjected to that
halorah
."

Screeching. Prez laughed. "The music helps me to concentrate."

"I would not define it as music," Kai said, baring her sharp teeth. "Nevertheless, this ship is more versatile than I would have imagined. The older AutoNav systems are superior to the new, in my opinion."

"I fully agree," Prez said. "But we didn't use ours. The radiation's too strong."

She stared at him, shocked. "Then how did you...?"

"My brain." He tapped his temple, laughing inwardly at the expression on her face. "Nature's AutoNav, right here. Call me old-fashioned, but it works."

Kai recovered her composure and gathered her robes around her thick body. "I assume now that you are free to discuss the cargo," she said.

Prez noticed Lan's skin changing from purple to a dark blue, and frowned. "Why? Is there a problem?"

"It is too early to tell for sure. But I believe the cargo has been...
lahanhe
."

The chip hummed for a second, but came up with no translation.

"I don't understand."

"
Lahanhe
," Kai said again, and there was an ominous look in her eye. "If this is the case, then there will be serious ramifications. Very...
very
serious."

A cold panic gripped his heart. Serious ramifications? What was she talking about? He tried to guess. "Injured? I'm sorry, I don't understand what
lahanhe
means."

Kai made an impatient noise. "Do I have to spell it out to you,
ku-tah
? Someone has passed the guards and
folanhe
the cargo."

The chip buzzed three words at the same time.
Prepared, readied, infused.
He stared at Kai, mystified.

"What Kai is saying," Lan said slowly, "is that someone has tampered with the cargo."

"What?"

"
Meha
!" Kai shouted. "Someone has
laho no aar, suha la berah!"

Prez gripped the back of his chair, his head swimming. The chip felt as if it was overheating, and his brain throbbed suddenly with the effort of understanding. The words crystalized suddenly into a single sharp sentence, another Belaari euphemism. Surely not... Then he remembered what he'd read about
melohar
. Understanding began to dawn in his mind, but just as he opened his mouth to speak, Kai grabbed his crotch and squeezed hard with her powerful hands. "This!" she said. "Into the cargo!"

He dropped to the ground, faint with the sudden pain that radiated up into his stomach in sickening waves. He cradled his crushed testicles and tried to say something but all that came out was a long moan of agony, and he rested his forehead against the cool metal floor.
Breathe
.

Lan got down beside Prez and rubbed his back. "Perhaps we can discuss this later," he said to Kai. "When you are sure that someone has indeed...
ground his pepper into the stew."

"You'd better hope that no one has done so," Kai said to Prez. "
You
were the only one not vaccinated. And he..." she pointed to Lan. "He is an adolescent and therefore incapable. If I am correct in my suspicions, then there will be no payment. And that is just the beginning of the trouble you will face when we arrive in Galahen." With a toss of her head, she descended the access shaft, and was gone.

Prez sat up. "I'm going to be sick."

Lan slid the box over they'd used to keep Flack in, and Prez hurled up his dinner pack and groaned again. Then he found himself cradled in Lan's strong arms. The pain and sickness started to fade, and he felt Lan's fingers stroking his hair softly and closed his eyes. It was nice to be held, and he relaxed for a moment. Then he shook himself and pushed Lan away. "What was Kai saying?" he said, hauling himself to his feet and frowning. "No payment? What sort of cargo is this? She said a
suho
, right? Is it someone very important?"

Lan sighed. "We are carrying the Belaari princess-in-exile," he said. "
Kahalia.
Were you unaware?"

"Mother of skies," Prez whispered and sat down in his chair, his face white. "Kai was right. I am aware of very little, it seems." He thought hard for a moment, and put his face in his hands. "And someone has ground his pepper into the stew. Oh boy. Well, you go and assemble the others. I'll program the AutoNav, and join you. This is..."

"Very serious," Lan murmured and looked away.

***

They met in the engineering section, where Vaxel was wrestling with the innards of the cleaning android, watched by an impassive Belaari construct. Glitch was sweating over the computer, making the door open and close and frowning. Kris had his feet up on the desk and was eating a bowl of dry-looking brown material that Lan could not identify.

He caught Lan's eye and grinned. "Instapoop," he said. "Keeps you regular. That's not what it's called, of course, it's roughage. Don't know about you, but I find space travel to be quite constipating."

Lan sat cross-legged on the floor, his satchel in his lap, trying to cover the treacherous thing that had got them all into this mess. And it was still not quite flaccid, that was the worst of it. He looked at his hands and felt like crying. The trousers were making life very difficult indeed.

"So," Prez said, pacing the room. "Apparently we're carrying the Belaari princess-in-exile to some giant celebration of ethnic purity. Did any of you know this?"

Kris paused, his spoon halfway to his mouth. "Princess?"

Prez sighed. "Yes. And Kai thinks that someone..." He looked around the assembled crew who were all gaping at him, all apart from Lan who stared at the floor. "Someone has
ground his pepper into the stew
."

Vaxel exploded into laughter. "Someone fucked the princess?" he said. "That's priceless."

"Speak in Common," Prez snapped. "This is serious. If Kai's suspicions are correct, the princess is going to arrive in Galahen with half a loaf already baking. Kai's already juiced my apples just speculating about it. Who knows what she's going to do to me if it turns out to be true."

Glitch sat back in her seat. "Well I'm a female," she said, with a pointed look at Vaxel. "I'm off the list of suspects, surely."

"Not necessarily," Kris said. "But tell you what, that vaccine worked, on me at least. Haven't even felt like looking at porn, never mind exercising the captive."

"Me neither," Vaxel said. "Starting to worry if it's going to wear off. Anyway, those constructs react to heat, not movement. The cleaning android went past them and they didn't budge." He looked at the wires hanging out of its belly and sighed. "Then it broke again, of course. But what I mean is, there's no way any of us could've got in there without them catching us. It's not like we can lower our own body temperatures." He gave a scoffing laugh, as if the idea was ridiculous.

Lan's head hung lower as he listened to the conversation with a heavy heart. The burden of his secret was too much to bear. He would have to confess; he just couldn't find the words. Then he looked up, and saw Prez staring at him with a gleam in his eye.

"It was you, wasn't it?"

All eyes fell on him, and the room went cold.

"Lan!" Glitch exclaimed, shivering suddenly.

Kris choked on a mouthful of his roughage. "But I thought Aldorians had no cocks!"

"Kris!" Prez folded his arms and looked at Lan. "Well?"

Lan felt like melting into a puddle of despair and slipping off through the slats in the metal tiles. "You are correct," he said, staring at his hands. "I am ready for you to eject me into space, if that is your wish."

There was an excruciating pause.

Then the silence was broken by some snuffling and snorting. Lan looked up and was astonished by what he saw. They were all smirking into their fists, eyes bright. Then Prez clutched at his stomach and let out a roar of laughter, and the others followed suit. Vaxel and Kris slapped their hands together in the air and went on laughing, while Glitch collapsed forward onto her desk in a fit of shrieking giggles.

"I do not understand," Lan said. "You do not wish to punish me?"

"Man," Prez said, wiping tears from his eyes. "I should've known you'd got some action, after all that grinning and giggling. Of course we don't wish to
eject you into space
."

"This is a new high for the virtuous crew of the
Outcast
," Vaxel said when the laughter had died down. "Remember those males from the first Ralia trip? Boy, they were angry when they saw Flack beating his meat while they froze in their own spunk."

"Or do you remember that time Flack pupped those Azari twin bodyguards," Glitch said, chuckling. "And the Ambassador they were looking after ended up falling into a vat of detergent when he had to do the factory tour alone."

"And there was that other Ambassador that Flack pupped," Kris said. "And then her husband hired an assassin..."

"...and he pupped her too!" Glitch finished, and they all laughed again.

"Flack," Prez said, smiling and shaking his head nostalgically. "Yes, Lan, you could say that having uncontrollable sexual urges is part of the job description."

Through his relief at not being ejected into space, Lan felt a rush of shame. "I have never had...
sexual urges
... before."

"Never?" Vaxel said, eyes gleaming with interest. "So you've got a...? Or not?"

Prez sat down on the floor beside Lan. "Anyway, now we know, we can deal with it. If there's one thing we're good at on this ship, it's getting out of trouble. Forewarned is forearmed, that's an old saying from... somewhere. So we're sure of what Kai isn't yet, that gives us some time."

"To do what?" Lan said. "You will not be paid. And it will be my fault that you will not get the ship you dream of."

Prez clicked his fingers. "Vaxel, the contract."

"Yes, sir!" Vaxel winked at Lan and went out of the room.

"So what was it like?" Kris said. He'd finished eating and was looking at his personal Tablet. "Just reading here about
suho
, very interesting. And
melohar
? What's that?"

"A Lover's Gaze," Prez said. "You look at the
suho
and the aura causes you to see the face of the one you desire most in the universe."

"Who did you see, Lan?" Glitch said.

Lan felt himself shrivel with embarrassment. He looked at Prez, then back at the floor. His mouth was dry, his heart beating hard. Perhaps he should change the subject, but it would look too obvious. "You would not understand," he said eventually. "Aldorians have a different experience of love than most."

"That's not an answer," Kris said.

Prez put a hand on Lan's shoulder. "Don't worry about it," he said. "This lot are awful gossips. You don't have to tell us anything you don't want to." Just then, the door swished open and Vaxel reappeared carrying a hefty box full of papers. "Ah, the contract."

Vaxel set the box down and groaned. "Man, that's one big document. Did you actually read any of it?"

"Actually it's four documents," Prez said. "Because they hired us through the Andran agency, Andran contractual laws applied. It's in Andran and Common, as usual, but the Andrans insisted on Belaari
and
Akilian too since according to their laws, that's what we are."

"Well that's blue-brained," said Vaxel. "Since none of us can actually
read
Akilian."

"Never mind that," Prez said and sifted through the paper. "The Belaari contract is thinner than the other two. Common is no use, it's not a legally binding language anyway. No sir, this one..." he held up a bound sheaf of papers and kissed it, "this one is Andran. If I've learned anything about the Belaari over the years, it's that they're vague, like to speak in euphemisms, leave things to be inferred. Helps them weasel out of nasty things like
payment
all the time. And no one in their right mind reads an Andran contract unless they're trying to bore themselves to death. But the Andrans won't have left anything out, trust me. Now all we have to do is read the two and... spot the difference." He held out the Belaari contract to Lan and smiled. "Think you can manage some reading?"

For the first time since the whole story had come out, Lan felt happy. He stood up and took the papers from Prez. Their fingertips brushed, and his heart soared at the contact. "I can manage some reading," he said. "I will begin now."