Outing of the Heart (33 page)
Read Outing of the Heart Online
Authors: Lisa Ann Harper
A thorough run through of Soleares became a therapeutic distraction for both mind and body; a necessity, after Sidonie's company. Raoul was keen for this to be her first performance number. Partnering her would give her confidence and his timing maintained the flow of the sequence, making it easier. Yesterday he had been very pleased. A severe taskmaster, but when he saw good work he was generous in his encouragement. So different from Belen. She could only see the end result and getting there required hard work ⦠on everyone's part.
The castanets now produced a clear, staccato sound and with the improvement of her playing, there was a noticeable advancement in the palmas. She could hear the other rhythms at the same time; rather like a singer with harmony. More confidence brought more enjoyment.
Raoul had suggested she join Los Flamencos the coming Saturday night. âDo you think you could do it?' She had hesitated, but in the end had agreed. She had practised so much and she had to start some time. He checked her dress and pronounced it satisfactory, only changing one item ⦠the black Spanish hat, the Cordobez, for the flower. She wasn't used to it yet; it jiggled when she turned, but Raoul claimed she had the head for it. As she finished her practise, she recalled Belen stating she'd give out the list for Toronto Caravan, tomorrow. This move to Toronto ⦠it was the best thing she'd ever done.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Kelly and Serena were waiting for Sidonie in the front office. She arrived spot on time, but there was still Leonie to come. Ashley handed them a typed sheet of the routines for Saturday. Everything looked cool; it was the music they had to decide on.
âSince it's not a gym or disco venue, then I think we should keep it more middle of the road,' Kelly suggested. âPlease the maximum number of people.'
Ashley looked around, questioningly.
âI think we should use what we're used to here at the gym,' Sidonie offered. âIt's what new members would hear if they join. If the grannies pass us by ⦠well, they probably wouldn't be coming along anyway.'
At this point Leonie arrived and they caught her up on the proceedings. Leonie was not a favorite. She had been at the club longer than the others and tended to be bossy. Also, she had little tolerance for Lesbians. Since Sidonie made no effort to hide what she was, although she never paraded it, she seemed to be down on her. Automatically, with disdainful voice, she objected to her suggestion and went with Kelly's.
âI think Sidonie makes a good point,' Serena backed her up. She was straight but understanding.
As Sidonie's weight training partner, Serena had been instrumental in getting her going with her body building, spotting in her an apt pupil and keen to encourage the talent. Sidonie's diligence had done the rest. She was of a heavier build and her strength was awesome. Sidonie flashed her one of her special smiles but said nothing.
âWell, this gives us two and two, so I'll break the logjam and go with the disco beat,' Ashley settled it.
They proceeded to the aerobics room to work on their routine which went quickly, remembering it from the last one they'd mounted at Christmas, in York Mills. Tomorrow there would only be one change in the program.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Saturday morning the weather was a perfect enticement to venture outdoors. Although still cold, there was no icy chill to the wind, which had kicked up and now sent paper detritus skittering down the sidewalks. The sky held promise for a fine day, a coppery sun shining through lively and capricious clouds, with valiant determination.
Tenille dressed casually for the Mall, but since April is still a cool month chose a woolly sweater for over top, with matching hat and mitts. She had decided to help. They were likeable people and being involved appealed. The walk to Spadina subway provided an opportunity to enjoy the crisp air. It felt good to be alive, a feeling she'd not experienced since becoming more deeply involved with Devon. Now she was her own woman; getting out, making friends. She was close to realizing a wonderful dream and it looked like getting better and better ⦠and yes, she was looking forward to seeing Sidonie again and to see how body builders put it all together.
Swinging round the corner, she skipped down the subway steps and dropped her token in the turnstile. She wandered up to the front of the platform, the Yorkdale exit being at the far end. The athletes must be so disciplined she believed, as she contemplated their self-denial and dedication. Maintaining a regular in-take of special foods. Resisting temptation
. “It must be like being on a diet, but in reverse. But even eating a lot could be a strain if you didn't really want to.”
âI could never do it, or be that single minded,' she declared, shaking her head.
The train arrived. Plenty of seats. Tenille did a re-think. What was she doing with her dancing? To someone else it could look like she was obsessed. Well, perhaps that's what it takes to be an achiever in this world, total âheart and soul' commitment and hopefully some enjoyment along way.
She followed the crowd, not having been to Yorkdale before. Nothing to see outside, but inside was a huge, gleaming fantasy world. An amazing array of desirable things. Something for all tastes and ages. Sidonie's clear, simple directions kept her on track. The shows were to be held in front of the main entrance to Eaton's, on the first level, so people could look down from above too. She would see the stage with the catwalk in front. Holiday fashions with sport and swimwear would be featured, then their aerobics team. The body builders would bring the show to a close. She looked again at the large hand writing, liking its bold clarity and lack of flourish.
Leisurewear was in progress; no sign of BODYSHAPE. Shortly before one, she saw the group, weighed down with their grips. She edged over to the back of the spectators, towards the little marquee, set up as a change room and forming a backdrop to the stage. There was no point calling out over the music and the P.A. voice. Lifting the flap, pandemonium assaulted her ears. Just like back-stage at the Shriners'.
BODYSHAPE were congregated together under their banner. Other sponsors had their own sign. When Sidonie saw her approach, she caught her breath and her face lit up with pleasure. The smile raised the corners of her perfectly shaped mouth, lifting it into a most enchanting curve and brought sparkling laughter to her gleaming eyes. She had been hoping so much and at the same time hardly daring to hope. Tenille's eyes lit up in response, becoming more vivid and eager at each step. She moved forwards as in a dream, stopping short of bumping into her, suddenly tongue-tied. Swallowing hard, she took firm control of her racing emotions.
âHi.' Her voice came out a strangled squeak.
âHidy. You made it.' Sidonie, who had frozen at the sight of Tenille, now put down her grip and began rummaging through it.
âI'll distribute for you ⦠if you like.' This time the voice came in a rush, but less strained. âGive me a bundle and I'll leave you to get ready.' Back to normal.
Sidonie straightened up. âThat's great.' Tenille was so close, she could see the high-lights playing in the luxuriant waves of her hair which today hung loose below her little woolly hat. âCan you go to Ashley? She'll give them to you.'
âWill do.'
As she made to turn away, Sidonie added: âCome back after the show and we'll have time for lunch, OK?' Tenille only nodded as she made her way over to the older woman, but her heart was singing.
Armed with the flyers, she established herself at the back and watched the rest of the show. Swimwear. There were a number that caught her eye. She was glad the two piece bikinis were out, but some of those high-cut suits were too much. Still, on skinny models they looked good, but how many women were like that? Low-cuts for her. At least they were not featuring bottomless today, probably in deference to the location. The girls left the cat walk and the smooth talking MC moved on to the spiel for BODYSHAPE:
“The women's work-out gym at the High Park Centre.”
People drifted away, but many stayed, just happy to be entertained and new folk came along to fill up the seats.
Tenille moved forward at this time and got an unobstructed view.
“They are good,”
she thought, as she watched the aerobic team swing into action. Dressed in eye catching fluoro colors, accented by black, they jumped into their routines as slick as any show on TV. Ashley was their leader, calling the moves in that professional patter, although it was obvious everyone knew their stuff inside out.
âDon't go away,' the announcer instructed, as the music died. âThe girls will be back, but right now, here are the âcreme de la creme' of BODYSHAPE.'
Even more people gathered and a big cheer went up from the crowd as the body builders presented themselves, following a fanfare and the disco music changed to a slower, heavier beat, a combination of Jam and Spoon's latest hits with some from the Candy Girls. The MC continued to read from a prepared script.
Each one was to do her stuff as they crisscrossed the stage and down the ramp. At the end, out into the audience, they would strike their pose, accentuating the muscle group from a different part of the body. A cheer went up for each one, but Sidonie received the greatest applause. This was something different for a Saturday's shopping. She noticed how superb her definition was and yet when she relaxed, she just looked well toned and athletic, not ponderous or cumbersome, which was the unfortunate look Serena had. Her muscle strength had moved her body toward the big and fat. It was a delicate balance to achieve; being the same problem experienced by shot put and discus throwers. Kelly on the other hand, although showing excellent definition, had muscles which tended to be stringy. Leonie, too, had this appearance, but she was a smooth presenter. Sidonie was not as big as the others, in fact was the shortest there, but was compact; in perfect proportion. The black one piece with a red belt and the cut outs showed off her gleaming skin, like polished ivory and her pale, blonde hair shimmered under the lights as she strutted her stuff. She knew she looked good, taking her time when striking a pose. Turning slowly, she would raise the arm; bend the knee; make the muscles stand out in the most perfect of fluid movements. She made it look like dance.
Striking a pose, her back to the onlookers, suddenly her head turned, swinging her gaze directly into Tenille's watching eyes, catching her with that riveting stare. The intensity of her so alive eyes held Tenille transfixed. Captured. Impaled and helpless and yes, weak at the knees, her heart began to pound enormously, a rush of feeling heating her dead centre. She was totally unsettled.
Sidonie broke the spell and released her, swinging full circle and moving back up the ramp.
For the whole of that time Tenille had held her breath. Now it slowly expelled, as she brought her wildly bouncing heart back to a regular rhythm, taking deep gulps of air.
“Sidonie is one special girl,”
she thought, as she watched them leave, amid an overwhelming appreciation from the spectators. The body beautiful certainly was the âin' thing right now. This should bode well for the club.
âI do hope she will want to be my friend,' she whispered softly to herself, as she started to hand out leaflets to anyone who would accept them. Most people were drifting away with a smile on their face, some in animated conversation. Her worry over cross-questioning had been unfounded. She didn't have to say much, the most common enquiry centred around the performers: âYes, they were all members of the club.'
âYou too?'
âYes.'
As she made her way to the marquee, she heard the MC announce the next show in an hour's time, meanwhile it was the turn of the fashion models.
When Tenille entered the change tent again, the women were engaged in noisy exchanges. The consensus seemed to be favorable. Now they just hoped the flyers would bear fruit. She received a share of appreciation for her part in it all. She was happy for this, but wished she could have done more. âWell, perhaps one day you'll be up there on stage, with the aerobics team.'
âOr with the body builders. Its never too late,' Sidonie's friend Serena, added with a chuckle.
She was beginning to feel self-conscious with their focused attention. The color rose in her cheeks as she stammered out she could never achieve their physique, she was much too skinny. Sidonie caught the tail end of this exchange and smiled to herself, remembering the sauna when she had been able to feast her eyes on those beautiful curves. Not every one had to show muscle definition. No Siree ⦠not in her book, anyway.
Vivre la difference.
As soon as she'd changed and stowed away her gear she moved over to Tenille's side.
âLet's get outta here,' voice rough and gravely, her recent memories having a greater impact on her than she'd realized. She grabbed Tenille's hand, dragging her through the onrush of bodies entering the tent. She was glad of Sidonie's forcefulness; the tide against which they battled would have daunted her.
âI don't have much time. Would you mind if we just picked up something and took it to the car?'
Sidonie's request broke into her thoughts. âNot at all. I'd appreciate an oasis of quiet after all this.' She waved her hand to indicate the chaotic surroundings.
âGood. There's SNACKS TO GO just by the side door, which is where I parked. My treat. What'll you have?' This time Tenille didn't spend time on protests, accepting graciously.
âJust coffee.'
âNot enough for a busy day. How about I choose something for us both?' Too bold? But she was feeling âup' from the show and ⦠she'd seen an expression on the woman's face that told her volumes. Tenille had scrutinized her the whole time she'd been walking and posing. In fact she had performed for her. Today the crowd had not existed, only Tenille. She knew for sure, Tenille favored her, at least, her looks. How much she liked her as a person still had to be divined. She looked directly at Tenille who answered with a shy smile and a nod.
The castanets now produced a clear, staccato sound and with the improvement of her playing, there was a noticeable advancement in the palmas. She could hear the other rhythms at the same time; rather like a singer with harmony. More confidence brought more enjoyment.
Raoul had suggested she join Los Flamencos the coming Saturday night. âDo you think you could do it?' She had hesitated, but in the end had agreed. She had practised so much and she had to start some time. He checked her dress and pronounced it satisfactory, only changing one item ⦠the black Spanish hat, the Cordobez, for the flower. She wasn't used to it yet; it jiggled when she turned, but Raoul claimed she had the head for it. As she finished her practise, she recalled Belen stating she'd give out the list for Toronto Caravan, tomorrow. This move to Toronto ⦠it was the best thing she'd ever done.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Kelly and Serena were waiting for Sidonie in the front office. She arrived spot on time, but there was still Leonie to come. Ashley handed them a typed sheet of the routines for Saturday. Everything looked cool; it was the music they had to decide on.
âSince it's not a gym or disco venue, then I think we should keep it more middle of the road,' Kelly suggested. âPlease the maximum number of people.'
Ashley looked around, questioningly.
âI think we should use what we're used to here at the gym,' Sidonie offered. âIt's what new members would hear if they join. If the grannies pass us by ⦠well, they probably wouldn't be coming along anyway.'
At this point Leonie arrived and they caught her up on the proceedings. Leonie was not a favorite. She had been at the club longer than the others and tended to be bossy. Also, she had little tolerance for Lesbians. Since Sidonie made no effort to hide what she was, although she never paraded it, she seemed to be down on her. Automatically, with disdainful voice, she objected to her suggestion and went with Kelly's.
âI think Sidonie makes a good point,' Serena backed her up. She was straight but understanding.
As Sidonie's weight training partner, Serena had been instrumental in getting her going with her body building, spotting in her an apt pupil and keen to encourage the talent. Sidonie's diligence had done the rest. She was of a heavier build and her strength was awesome. Sidonie flashed her one of her special smiles but said nothing.
âWell, this gives us two and two, so I'll break the logjam and go with the disco beat,' Ashley settled it.
They proceeded to the aerobics room to work on their routine which went quickly, remembering it from the last one they'd mounted at Christmas, in York Mills. Tomorrow there would only be one change in the program.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Saturday morning the weather was a perfect enticement to venture outdoors. Although still cold, there was no icy chill to the wind, which had kicked up and now sent paper detritus skittering down the sidewalks. The sky held promise for a fine day, a coppery sun shining through lively and capricious clouds, with valiant determination.
Tenille dressed casually for the Mall, but since April is still a cool month chose a woolly sweater for over top, with matching hat and mitts. She had decided to help. They were likeable people and being involved appealed. The walk to Spadina subway provided an opportunity to enjoy the crisp air. It felt good to be alive, a feeling she'd not experienced since becoming more deeply involved with Devon. Now she was her own woman; getting out, making friends. She was close to realizing a wonderful dream and it looked like getting better and better ⦠and yes, she was looking forward to seeing Sidonie again and to see how body builders put it all together.
Swinging round the corner, she skipped down the subway steps and dropped her token in the turnstile. She wandered up to the front of the platform, the Yorkdale exit being at the far end. The athletes must be so disciplined she believed, as she contemplated their self-denial and dedication. Maintaining a regular in-take of special foods. Resisting temptation
. “It must be like being on a diet, but in reverse. But even eating a lot could be a strain if you didn't really want to.”
âI could never do it, or be that single minded,' she declared, shaking her head.
The train arrived. Plenty of seats. Tenille did a re-think. What was she doing with her dancing? To someone else it could look like she was obsessed. Well, perhaps that's what it takes to be an achiever in this world, total âheart and soul' commitment and hopefully some enjoyment along way.
She followed the crowd, not having been to Yorkdale before. Nothing to see outside, but inside was a huge, gleaming fantasy world. An amazing array of desirable things. Something for all tastes and ages. Sidonie's clear, simple directions kept her on track. The shows were to be held in front of the main entrance to Eaton's, on the first level, so people could look down from above too. She would see the stage with the catwalk in front. Holiday fashions with sport and swimwear would be featured, then their aerobics team. The body builders would bring the show to a close. She looked again at the large hand writing, liking its bold clarity and lack of flourish.
Leisurewear was in progress; no sign of BODYSHAPE. Shortly before one, she saw the group, weighed down with their grips. She edged over to the back of the spectators, towards the little marquee, set up as a change room and forming a backdrop to the stage. There was no point calling out over the music and the P.A. voice. Lifting the flap, pandemonium assaulted her ears. Just like back-stage at the Shriners'.
BODYSHAPE were congregated together under their banner. Other sponsors had their own sign. When Sidonie saw her approach, she caught her breath and her face lit up with pleasure. The smile raised the corners of her perfectly shaped mouth, lifting it into a most enchanting curve and brought sparkling laughter to her gleaming eyes. She had been hoping so much and at the same time hardly daring to hope. Tenille's eyes lit up in response, becoming more vivid and eager at each step. She moved forwards as in a dream, stopping short of bumping into her, suddenly tongue-tied. Swallowing hard, she took firm control of her racing emotions.
âHi.' Her voice came out a strangled squeak.
âHidy. You made it.' Sidonie, who had frozen at the sight of Tenille, now put down her grip and began rummaging through it.
âI'll distribute for you ⦠if you like.' This time the voice came in a rush, but less strained. âGive me a bundle and I'll leave you to get ready.' Back to normal.
Sidonie straightened up. âThat's great.' Tenille was so close, she could see the high-lights playing in the luxuriant waves of her hair which today hung loose below her little woolly hat. âCan you go to Ashley? She'll give them to you.'
âWill do.'
As she made to turn away, Sidonie added: âCome back after the show and we'll have time for lunch, OK?' Tenille only nodded as she made her way over to the older woman, but her heart was singing.
Armed with the flyers, she established herself at the back and watched the rest of the show. Swimwear. There were a number that caught her eye. She was glad the two piece bikinis were out, but some of those high-cut suits were too much. Still, on skinny models they looked good, but how many women were like that? Low-cuts for her. At least they were not featuring bottomless today, probably in deference to the location. The girls left the cat walk and the smooth talking MC moved on to the spiel for BODYSHAPE:
“The women's work-out gym at the High Park Centre.”
People drifted away, but many stayed, just happy to be entertained and new folk came along to fill up the seats.
Tenille moved forward at this time and got an unobstructed view.
“They are good,”
she thought, as she watched the aerobic team swing into action. Dressed in eye catching fluoro colors, accented by black, they jumped into their routines as slick as any show on TV. Ashley was their leader, calling the moves in that professional patter, although it was obvious everyone knew their stuff inside out.
âDon't go away,' the announcer instructed, as the music died. âThe girls will be back, but right now, here are the âcreme de la creme' of BODYSHAPE.'
Even more people gathered and a big cheer went up from the crowd as the body builders presented themselves, following a fanfare and the disco music changed to a slower, heavier beat, a combination of Jam and Spoon's latest hits with some from the Candy Girls. The MC continued to read from a prepared script.
Each one was to do her stuff as they crisscrossed the stage and down the ramp. At the end, out into the audience, they would strike their pose, accentuating the muscle group from a different part of the body. A cheer went up for each one, but Sidonie received the greatest applause. This was something different for a Saturday's shopping. She noticed how superb her definition was and yet when she relaxed, she just looked well toned and athletic, not ponderous or cumbersome, which was the unfortunate look Serena had. Her muscle strength had moved her body toward the big and fat. It was a delicate balance to achieve; being the same problem experienced by shot put and discus throwers. Kelly on the other hand, although showing excellent definition, had muscles which tended to be stringy. Leonie, too, had this appearance, but she was a smooth presenter. Sidonie was not as big as the others, in fact was the shortest there, but was compact; in perfect proportion. The black one piece with a red belt and the cut outs showed off her gleaming skin, like polished ivory and her pale, blonde hair shimmered under the lights as she strutted her stuff. She knew she looked good, taking her time when striking a pose. Turning slowly, she would raise the arm; bend the knee; make the muscles stand out in the most perfect of fluid movements. She made it look like dance.
Striking a pose, her back to the onlookers, suddenly her head turned, swinging her gaze directly into Tenille's watching eyes, catching her with that riveting stare. The intensity of her so alive eyes held Tenille transfixed. Captured. Impaled and helpless and yes, weak at the knees, her heart began to pound enormously, a rush of feeling heating her dead centre. She was totally unsettled.
Sidonie broke the spell and released her, swinging full circle and moving back up the ramp.
For the whole of that time Tenille had held her breath. Now it slowly expelled, as she brought her wildly bouncing heart back to a regular rhythm, taking deep gulps of air.
“Sidonie is one special girl,”
she thought, as she watched them leave, amid an overwhelming appreciation from the spectators. The body beautiful certainly was the âin' thing right now. This should bode well for the club.
âI do hope she will want to be my friend,' she whispered softly to herself, as she started to hand out leaflets to anyone who would accept them. Most people were drifting away with a smile on their face, some in animated conversation. Her worry over cross-questioning had been unfounded. She didn't have to say much, the most common enquiry centred around the performers: âYes, they were all members of the club.'
âYou too?'
âYes.'
As she made her way to the marquee, she heard the MC announce the next show in an hour's time, meanwhile it was the turn of the fashion models.
When Tenille entered the change tent again, the women were engaged in noisy exchanges. The consensus seemed to be favorable. Now they just hoped the flyers would bear fruit. She received a share of appreciation for her part in it all. She was happy for this, but wished she could have done more. âWell, perhaps one day you'll be up there on stage, with the aerobics team.'
âOr with the body builders. Its never too late,' Sidonie's friend Serena, added with a chuckle.
She was beginning to feel self-conscious with their focused attention. The color rose in her cheeks as she stammered out she could never achieve their physique, she was much too skinny. Sidonie caught the tail end of this exchange and smiled to herself, remembering the sauna when she had been able to feast her eyes on those beautiful curves. Not every one had to show muscle definition. No Siree ⦠not in her book, anyway.
Vivre la difference.
As soon as she'd changed and stowed away her gear she moved over to Tenille's side.
âLet's get outta here,' voice rough and gravely, her recent memories having a greater impact on her than she'd realized. She grabbed Tenille's hand, dragging her through the onrush of bodies entering the tent. She was glad of Sidonie's forcefulness; the tide against which they battled would have daunted her.
âI don't have much time. Would you mind if we just picked up something and took it to the car?'
Sidonie's request broke into her thoughts. âNot at all. I'd appreciate an oasis of quiet after all this.' She waved her hand to indicate the chaotic surroundings.
âGood. There's SNACKS TO GO just by the side door, which is where I parked. My treat. What'll you have?' This time Tenille didn't spend time on protests, accepting graciously.
âJust coffee.'
âNot enough for a busy day. How about I choose something for us both?' Too bold? But she was feeling âup' from the show and ⦠she'd seen an expression on the woman's face that told her volumes. Tenille had scrutinized her the whole time she'd been walking and posing. In fact she had performed for her. Today the crowd had not existed, only Tenille. She knew for sure, Tenille favored her, at least, her looks. How much she liked her as a person still had to be divined. She looked directly at Tenille who answered with a shy smile and a nod.
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