Read Outrageously Yours Online
Authors: Susanna Carr
* * *
J
UST
A
FLING
?
Jason lay in bed, his arms outstretched as he stared at the ceiling. A mix of emotions slammed into him as he listened to Claire. He hadn’t intended to hear her phone call but the apartment was small and quiet.
He blocked out her voice as he took in a measured breath. The tightness in his chest didn’t go away. He didn’t know why her words bothered him. What they shared
was
a fling. They had labeled it that and given it an expiration date.
And yet he had thought it meant more to Claire. She valued commitment. She was always in it for the long haul. Why wasn’t she this time?
He had believed that she was getting invested in this relationship. He felt it in her caresses and her long, gentle kisses. He heard it when her voice softened as she confessed her dreams and wishes. He thought he had seen it in her eyes every time she greeted him.
Jason realized that he shouldn’t have encouraged those moments. It confused him, and worse, it had given him hope. He’d believed they were getting closer but it was just a fling to her.
“No, I won’t be able to see you until the party,” he heard Claire say with a cool, breezy tone. “I’ll send you the information later today.”
She was good at playing hard to get, Jason decided. It almost sounded as if she didn’t care whether Max attended the party or not. It was the perfect ploy for a guy like Max. The guy wouldn’t suspect just how much Claire wanted the job.
“No, I have to hang up,” she said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Jason stared at the open bedroom door. Last night Claire had clung to him and chanted his name. She had slept in his arms throughout the night. And now she was ready to walk away so she could pursue her dream. Was it wrong that he wanted to be her dream? That she would pursue him with the same laser focus and make the time they shared a priority?
Jason briefly closed his eyes as the raw pain whipped through him. At one point in his life he had preferred casual flings. He hadn’t wanted to get emotionally involved or have expectations placed on him.
But that was before Claire. She’d cured the restlessness he had been struggling with. He liked the way she challenged him. He liked the man he was, the man he was becoming, when he was with Claire.
But he had to accept the truth: they had no future. She was a hardworking and ambitious woman while he was a man who coasted through life. How could she respect someone like him? She had already made it clear that she didn’t understand why he had given up on his dream.
He wanted to register for the culinary school but going after that dream would change everything. It would throw his life into chaos and make him inspect his flaws and abilities. And that was
if
he got accepted into the school. If he got rejected again it would crush his last glimmer of hope.
Why had he told Claire about his dreams? She looked at him differently now. Better? Worse? He wasn’t sure. And why was he seriously considering giving the application process one more try?
Claire wasn’t the most optimistic person and maybe that was why her words of encouragement carried more weight. Or maybe her ambitious nature was beginning to rub off on him.
But Claire wasn’t going to be here for much longer. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to pursue this dream if she wasn’t going to be part of it.
His breath caught in his throat when Claire strode into the bedroom. Her blond hair was tousled and fell past her breasts, hiding her pink nipples. His gaze lingered on her naked body. She was toned but curvy. Her breasts were high and full and her hips were gently rounded. She was soft and feminine. His cock stirred as blood began to pound through his veins. He wanted her again, despite the fact that he had claimed her several times during the night.
“Oh, Jason!” She halted next to the bed. “Did I wake you up?”
He had woken up when he reached out for Claire and found her side of the bed empty. He had missed the way she clung to him. But he wasn’t going to tell her that. It was too revealing. “Who was that on the phone?
“That was Max,” she said as she crawled onto the bed. Her tone was matter-of-fact. “I invited him to your party as you suggested.”
He didn’t say anything as she straddled his hips. His hands automatically went to her legs. His stroked them tenderly, carefully avoiding the bruise on her thigh. She had earned those marks while trying to impress a potential boss.
She must really want that job in LA. He didn’t want her to go, but he couldn’t hold her back. Why was it that he had known Claire for most of his life but only noticed her when it was almost too late?
“Jason, I need to ask another favor.” She leaned over him, her fingers gripping his shoulders. “Yesterday you said I don’t defend myself and I know it’s true. I want to be more assertive, but I’m not sure where to start.”
He had trouble thinking straight as the sense of impending loss continued to roll through him. “You’re assertive with me,” he said gruffly. “Our brainstorming sessions can turn into arguments.”
“But I’m only that way with you,” she said as she slid her hands down his chest. “I have to try to be that way with others.”
Others. Like Max? Jason’s fingers dug into Claire’s legs. He wasn’t going to think that way. Claire needed to learn how to stand up for herself, especially to the likes of Max Blair.
“Okay,” he said as he skimmed his hands to cup her bare ass. “Let’s start now.”
Claire rocked her hips forward. “What do you mean?”
Jason closed his eyes and held back a moan. “Ask me for something,” he ordered in a raspy tone. He shivered, his cock twitching, as her fingernails grazed his skin.
“Like what?” she asked.
He was having difficulty following the conversation. All he wanted to do was roll her onto the mattress and plunge into her body. “Ask me for something you really want,” he said through his clenched teeth. “Something you’re passionate about.”
Her fingers skipped down his abs as she considered his words.
Jason arched his spine. “What is it you want most of all?”
She parted her lips and hesitated before she looked away. “I’ll have to think about it. Maybe later—”
Jason abruptly sat up and clamped his hands on her hips so she couldn’t leave. “Stop hiding, Claire.”
“I’m not hiding.” Her voice was sharp as she frowned. “I’m...not sure what I want most of all.”
“You’re not sure what you want?” Or was she uncertain that he would help her? Did she think he would deny her? Or did she believe he didn’t have the power to give her what she needed?
She speared her hands through her hair. “All right. As you know, our fling ends tomorrow night. I...” She stared at his mouth as if she was unable to look him in the eye. “I want an extension.”
Pleasure burst inside him. He was tempted to immediately agree and not examine her change of heart too closely. But this woman never broke her rules. “Why?”
She bit down on her lip as her cheeks turned pink. “Don’t do this to me,” she whispered.
He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable but he had to know. He didn’t want any miscommunication. “You’re the one who wanted to be more assertive,” he reminded her. “Tell me why you want to extend the fling.”
Claire appeared flustered as she gave an awkward shrug. “Because I’m enjoying this fling and I would like it to continue.”
Enjoyment. She had made such an impact on his life that he was ready to resurrect an old dream of going to culinary school because of her support, and she only
enjoyed
his company. “That’s it? You can do better than that.”
“I’m having fun,” she said with a smile. “More fun than I’ve had in a long time.”
That meant something. It wasn’t easy for Claire to relax. He was glad that he’d been able to show her how to seek pleasure. “Why a fling?”
“Why not a fling?” she asked defiantly as her gaze clashed with his. “It’s working, isn’t it? Why fix what isn’t broken?”
Because he was already having trouble with the idea of letting her go. He hadn’t realized the influence Claire had on him and his life until this week. As much as he wanted to continue this relationship and deepen their connection, every additional moment would make it more difficult to break things off.
Claire cupped his face with her hands. “I know we decided on just a week but I think we might be ending it too early.”
He swallowed hard. “What’s the harm in ending it now?”
Claire rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes. “You’re not out of my system,” she admitted.
Jason closed his eyes and exhaled. He already knew that, but how much longer would it take? Once she moved to Los Angeles, she would forget him. “We shouldn’t wait for one of us to lose interest. What would happen if you’re ready to move on and I’m not ready to go? It would be best to stick to the predetermined cut-off date.”
Claire dropped her hands and drew back to watch him carefully. Jason met her steady gaze. He prayed that she couldn’t see how vulnerable he felt at that moment.
“Jason, give me one good reason why we shouldn’t continue our fling.”
“Oh, nice, Claire. Very assertive,” he said, impressed. “Put it all on me.”
She arched an eyebrow. “You’re avoiding the answer.”
They shouldn’t continue the fling because he wanted more. After this week, he knew they could be a couple. Not just two individuals sharing a bed, but two people uniting and sharing a life together.
Did that mean he would follow Claire to Los Angeles? He felt a start of surprise but he didn’t dismiss the idea out of hand.
“I’m not your type and you’re not mine.” He knew only part of that was true. He wanted more with Claire, yes, but she was the one holding back.
“You’ve heard of the saying that opposites attract,” she argued.
“How long do you want the fling to last?” Jason found he was holding his breath.
Uncertainty flickered in her dark blue eyes. “How long do you want it to last?”
He shook his head as something close to fear wrapped around him. He needed to know how much she wanted him. “No, Claire. No hedging. You tell me. You asked for this fling to continue. How long do you want it to last?”
“I want another week,” she said in a rush and hunched her shoulders.
Disappointment crashed through him. That’s it? A week? Jason fought to keep his expression blank. He should be grateful for the extra days. In the past, he’d taken whatever he could get from a woman. But this wasn’t good enough.
“Why another seven days?” Why not until she moved? Or try a long-distance relationship? Or was she not as emotionally invested in this fling as he was?
“I don’t know.” She crossed her arms, covering her breasts. “This week has gone well, so let’s go for another week.”
Jason flopped back on the mattress. “I’ll have to think about it.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, I’m serious.” He laced his hands behind his head as nervousness raked through his muscles. “I’ll tell you tomorrow night.”
“Tomorrow night?” she repeated in a squawk. “What is there to think about? It’s a yes or no answer.”
“There’s that assertiveness I wanted,” he said proudly. “But it’s not going to give you an answer any sooner.”
He had to meet Max Blair first. Jason needed to be sure that this job, that working for this guy, was the best thing for Claire. If he didn’t feel good about it, then he had to protect her. Jason would do everything in his power to keep her in Woodinville. If it turned out that this was the opportunity of a lifetime for Claire, then he’d decide whether he was prepared for a short-term fling or a long-distance romance.
Claire flattened her hands on his pillow. “Jason, you can’t hold me in suspense.”
“See, you don’t need any help being assertive,” he said with a lopsided smile. He liked the way she surrounded him, caged him. “You’re very capable of telling me what you want and when you want it.”
“It’s different with you,” she explained as she bent her head toward his. Her blond hair fell like a curtain around them.
“Why is that?” he asked as he focused on her mouth. Was it different because he would do anything to make her happy? He would give her what she wanted even if it left him hurt and alone. Did she suspect that already?
“Jason,” she said in a warning growl, “You’re not getting out of this bed until you give me an answer.”
“Ah, there’s something you should work on—how to give a threat,” Jason said as he reached out and cupped the back of her head, his hands threading through her hair. “Because I have no interest in leaving. I don’t want to be anywhere else but here.”
11
B
Y
F
RIDAY
NIGHT
, Jason had grown quiet and tense. He stood by the desk in his office as the darkness of the night gathered. For the next three hours he had to be the genial host for his party while watching Claire gain the attention of one undeserving man.
He reached for the wine bottle on his desk. Cradling it with both hands, he poured a small amount of the merlot into a wineglass. This time he didn’t care about the bouquet or heavy oak aging. All he could think about was Claire. This night was about her.
For
her.
When he heard a knock, Jason set the wine bottle to the side and glanced at the office door. “It’s open.”
The door cautiously opened and Claire peeked around the corner. “Jason, you wanted to see me?”
“Come on in.” She walked into the room and closed the door behind her. Her blond hair was swept up in a soft and romantic style that emphasized the graceful lines of her neck. The dark purple dress complemented her pale skin and pale pink lips. At first the halter dress appeared casually elegant, but once she moved, it clung to her curves like liquid silk.
“You look stunning.” His gaze rested on her short hem before lingering on her bare legs and metallic high-heel shoes.
“Thank you.” She smiled widely as she patted her hair. “This night is costing me a fortune. The dress did not come off the sales rack and I had my hair done. Oh, I also got a manicure,” she announced as she splayed her fingers for his inspection. “This will get ruined the next time I’m near a keyboard.”
He stared at the palest of pink colors covering her fingernails. It instantly reminded him of the bra she had worn when he’d first made love to her. Jason clenched his jaw as heat washed over him. The last thing he needed to remember was unclasping the bra and her breasts spilling into his hands.
“All this to impress your future boss?” he asked gruffly.
“No way, this is all for me.” She placed her hands on her hips and the movement caused her dress to pull in some interesting ways. “I sent a picture of this dress to Kim. I was going for something that says, ‘eat your heart out.’ Kim assures me that it’s a killer dress. Just what I need tonight.”
Jason met her gaze and saw that her dark blue eyes gleamed with joy. She had a vibrant energy pulsating through her. She was breathtaking.
He swallowed hard and licked his suddenly dry lips. “Claire, are you wearing anything under that dress?”
She turned to show him her bare back. Claire looked over her shoulder and gave him a saucy grin that was worthy of a vintage pinup girl. “I am stark naked under here.”
Jason groaned and rubbed his fingertips against his forehead as lust flashed through his veins. “You shouldn’t have told me that, Claire. I’m going to be thinking about it all night.”
“Good,” she decided. “I want you to keep an eye on me instead of letting me stand on the sidelines.”
That wasn’t possible. Her sparkling smile and sensual beauty was going to attract everyone to gather around her.
“People are already arriving,” she mentioned as she jerked her thumb at the door. “I know you want to be there to greet your guests.”
“In a minute,” he said. “There’s something I want to give you first.”
She perched her hip on the corner of her desk, her leg brushing against his. “Aren’t you nervous about the party? I would be. I never entertain because I’m always worried about no one showing up or something going horribly wrong.”
“It’s the unexpected that makes the party,” he insisted.
“I guess you would see it that way,” she said. “But you’ve hosted so many events since you’ve opened the tasting room. You must hope for the unexpected.”
“I hope that everyone enjoys the party. I want them to have enough fun that they want to return for the next event.”
“You have nothing to worry about.” She rested her hand against his arm and gave an encouraging squeeze. “A lot of people responded to the invitation and I’m sure this will be a successful celebration for your reserve label.”
Jason’s smile widened. Claire didn’t give false praise or sweeping predictions. He reached for the wineglass. “Here, have a taste of the merlot.”
“Oh, you want me to help describe it to the guests?” she asked as she settled more firmly on the desk. “I learned some things in the wine-tasting courses you offer.”
It wasn’t part of his plan for her to help him at the party, but he did want to see how she would describe the wine. “Go ahead. What do you think?” He watched as she intently studied the rich color before she swirled the liquid in the glass. Claire took a quick whiff and murmured with pleasure.
“Big. Bold.” She took an experimental sip. “I would say it has a dark, fruit flavor. Cherry? Maybe boysenberry? It’s a berry for sure.”
He always associated Claire with this merlot. She could express her boldness but she could also surprise him by showing a little spice. “Anything else?”
She tasted it again. “It’s soft and rounded. Voluptuous, really.”
Just like Claire. His skin tightened as he imagined exploring and tasting her with his tongue.
Claire pursed her lips. “I want to say there are hints of chocolate or coffee.”
He leaned in closer. “And what would you pair with it?”
Her eyes lit up. “Ah, now this I know thanks to the wine-pairing articles I put up on your website. The printable grocery list for the charcuterie is popular but I’m not really into pâtés and terrines.”
“I know.” She had thought his list was too fancy and told him so on many occasions. Her gaze darted away as she tried to remember what she had read. “I think you recommend dishes with meat or game. I’ve noticed merlot pairs well with Cajun food.” She suddenly snapped her fingers. “But I want to say chocolate, though I don’t remember that on your list. Let’s put it this way—
I’d
pair merlot with chocolate.”
He was impressed. “I thought about the wine and food pairings when I made a dessert in your honor.”
“You really did that?” She set her wineglass down with an awkward clink and pressed her hands against her pink cheeks. “Jason, I hope you didn’t go to too much effort. I was just thinking out loud.”
His eyes narrowed as he gave her a knowing look. “You wanted me to do it. You have this fantasy of having something named after you.”
“I wouldn’t say
fantasy
, but yeah, you caught me,” she said with a laugh as she lowered her hands. “This is so exciting. What did you decide on?”
Jason was nervous at the prospect of showing it to her. What if she didn’t like it? What if it wasn’t at all what she had hoped for? “I didn’t create the recipe,” he said, unable to meet her eyes. “You can really do it at home.”
Claire wiggled her hips with impatience. “Show it to me.”
“It popped into my head when you first mentioned having a dish inspired by you,” Jason explained. “I rejected the idea because I wanted to do something elegant and fancy. But you hate fancy food. My mind kept going back to it and decided to follow my first instinct.”
She grabbed the front of his white button-down shirt. “What is it?”
“I thought about what you would eat while you were drinking your favorite wine.”
Her fingers bunched his shirt. “Jason, you are killing me here.”
Jason exhaled sharply and grabbed the white napkin off the plate. He revealed a few chewy, dense chocolate squares in fancy foil cups. Looking at them, he feared they were too humble a dessert for Claire. He should have gone for a French pastry or something with towering height or edible gold flakes. “They are bacon brownies.”
“Seriously?” Her voiced was edged with incredulity. Claire suddenly tossed her hands in the air. “That is genius!”
He wished he could claim all the credit. “People have been making them for years.”
She snatched a square from the plate and popped it in her mouth. Claire closed her eyes and slowly chewed the brownie. Her groan of satisfaction went straight to his cock. Jason couldn’t look away.
“I’ve never had one and I have no idea why.” Claire gradually opened her eyes. “My two favorite food groups in the same recipe. And it goes so well with the wine.”
Jason watched as she grabbed another bite-size square. “I should warn you that I also put in a hint of cayenne for a kick.”
She ate a square and sighed. “Which box mix did you use?”
Jason’s mouth dropped open. “A box mix? I hunted for the finest ingredients. That bacon...” The corner of his mouth twitched when he saw the naughty glow in her eyes. “Wait a second, are you teasing me?”
“Me, tease you?” She popped the last brownie in her mouth as her feet swung to and fro. “Never.”
He couldn’t remember Claire ever teasing him. She argued with him, but this was different. He liked it and hoped it would continue.
“What made you think of brownies?” she asked. “It’s perfect.”
He wanted something that Claire would enjoy but at the same time, he’d tried to come up with a dish that would represent her. It had to be something sweet and unexpected. Familiar yet decadent. “It’s everything you love.”
Claire grabbed her wineglass and took a sip. He watched her eyes widened as the chocolate and bacon enhanced the flavor of the merlot. He couldn’t help but stare as her senses came alive.
“Tell me you’re going to serve them at the party,” she said as she licked a drop of the wine from her bottom lip.
“I have some ready in the kitchen but they aren’t fancy.” It had been a struggle trying to give them a sophisticated presentation. But he hadn’t considered giving up. Only later had he realized how much he had enjoyed the challenge.
“I can promise you that your guests are going to love them.” She put the empty wineglass on the desk. “The brownies aren’t intimidating to eat. And, let’s face it, everyone is a kid at heart when it comes to dessert. These were delicious.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed them.” It didn’t matter what his other guests thought about the additional dessert. He’d grabbed the chance to make something for Claire. Show a side of him that he rarely used.
“What are you going to call this dessert?”
Call them? He frowned and tilted his head. “Uh, bacon brownies.”
“No, that makes me think of big slabs of bacon. These have to have a special name, like Claire’s...what starts with the letter
c
...Claire’s Confection,” she announced with her arms outstretched.
Jason shook his head. “That’s almost as bad as Operation Fake Fling.”
She tried the dessert name again and nodded. “You’re right. I’ll keep thinking.” She glanced at the empty plate. “You said there was more?”
“I made a huge batch of them this morning.” The creative process had been a distraction he’d desperately needed. He didn’t want to think about Max and Claire possibly getting together during the day. What if Max had offered her the job? What if she had already accepted?
“You should bake more often,” she insisted.
“I was going to wait to tell you, but...” He took a deep breath. “I applied to the culinary school today.”
Claire startled him when she gave a squeal and pumped her hands in the air. “That’s wonderful!”
“We’ll see.” He didn’t want to be too optimistic. The last time he had been so sure and then had been blindsided by the rejection.
“No, don’t you dare doubt yourself.” She linked her arms over her shoulders. “This is a good thing.”
Was it? How was he going to react if he failed? How would Claire view him if he wasn’t accepted? “If I get rejected again...”
“Then we will figure out the next step,” Claire said as she cupped the back of his head.
We?
Jason parted his lips as hope pressed against his chest. Claire wasn’t going to let him go through this alone like the he had the last time. It sounded as if she planned to still be part of his life once she moved away.
“I’m really proud of you, Jason,” she said as she twisted his hair in her fingers.
He moved closer and stepped between her legs. “I haven’t heard back from them yet.”
“I’m proud that you went after your dream,” she explained. “You didn’t let your past disappointments get in the way.”
Jason saw admiration and respect shimmering in her dark blue eyes before her eyelashes fluttered. Her mouth curved with an affectionate smile before she brushed her lips with his. As he accepted her gentle kiss, Jason knew he wanted Claire to look at him like this always. And if it meant following her while she chased her dreams, he’d do it in a heartbeat.
* * *
H
OURS
LATER
, J
ASON
peered over the heads of the guests and glanced at the entrance of the tasting room. The room was now comfortably filled with wine enthusiasts but not packed from wall to wall. He had caught snatches of deep discussion and glowing compliments about the reserve label. Tonight had been a success but one component had been missing.
Jason curled his arm tighter around Claire’s waist and pressed his mouth against her ear. “I don’t think he’s going to show.”
Claire’s back stiffened and she glanced at the door. “You’re probably right.” She returned her attention to him and smiled. “I guess that means more brownies for me.”
Jason was intrigued by her indifferent attitude. He remembered her anxiety when Max had first announced his visit. Why the change? Was this part of her wild party-girl act? If so, she did it very well.
“The tasting room is going to close in half an hour,” Jason said. “He didn’t get to watch you be the belle of the ball.” And Jason was secretly pleased with the change of events. If Max saw Claire dressed in her finest and confidently playing the gracious hostess for his guests, Jason would have a fight on his hands.
Claire gave a shrug and leaned closer into him. “I’m fine with that. It doesn’t really matter.”
Jason blinked and pulled away to study her expression. “Doesn’t matter? You transformed yourself for this job. Pushed yourself into the spotlight. You took a swan dive onto a roller-skating rink for this moment.”
She pressed her hand against his chest. “Everything happens for a reason.”