Outsider (Outsider Series)

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

Love of mine some day you will die

But I'll be close behind

I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white

Just our hands clasped so tight

Waiting for the hint of a spark

If heaven and hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you

When your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule

I got my knuckles
brusied
by a lady in black

And I held my
toungue
as she told me

"Son fear is the heart of love"

So I never went back

If heaven and hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you

When your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see

From Bangkok to Calgary

And the soles of your shoes are all worn down

The time for sleep is now

It's nothing to cry about

Cause we'll hold each other soon

The blackest of rooms

If heaven and hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you

When your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

Then I'll follow you into the dark

-Death Cab for Cutie

pr
ologue
.

It was amazing how your whole life could be split apart by a few simple words. Everything that I had known to be true was anything but. They were asking me to believe in the impossible. Not only that… they were telling me that I was a part of it. I didn’t want to believe. Stupidly I thought that if maybe I blinked my eyes rapidly this would all go away. But this wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t even a nightmare. It was harsh reality. It was real. Deep down in my soul I knew what they spoke of was the truth. I was a werewolf. No, that wasn’t the correct term. Shifter. I was a shifter.

But there was something else that I knew that I didn’t want to admit to myself.

Caeden.

Caeden Williams was my mate, my destiny, my future. The love I felt for him frightened me more than the harsh reality that I was shifter. I wanted to deny my affection, to fight it, but fighting it was impossible. Thoughts of him consumed my every waking hour and even the ones when I was
sleeping
.

But to accept being a shifter meant I had to accept Caeden as my mate. Accepting Caeden as my mate meant accepting my destiny as a shifter.

Was I ready for that commitment?

My
heart and
soul screamed yes while my mind said no.

What does one do? Follow their heart or run from it?

one
.

“Dad
dy
, I’ll be fine really. It’s not like you’re sending me to live with Satan. This is Gram. Everything will be fine. You worry too much,” I said as my dad loaded
my last
suitcase into the back of my brand new
white
Honda Pilot. It was a gift from my parents for always putting up with moving. My dad was in the military and all we had ever done was move. We were back in the states now, Indiana, but my dad was
being transferred to Germany. We had lived so many places they had started to blur together. I had been born in France, then we’d moved to
the United Kingdom, Ireland,
Scotland
, Spain, and Japan
just to name a few. I had
friends, which
were
more like acquaintances, all over the world. We didn’t stay in one place long enough for me to make a lasting friend. But this time was different. My parents knew I was sick of moving all the time and decided since it was my senior year that I could move in with Gram. My Gram li
ves in a small town in Virginia
. I had been there a few times and it was just a quaint little place surrounded by larger cities.  In other words it wasn’t very exciting but it would be a steady solid home and that was just what I needed.

“Sophie, you’re my only child. It’s my job to worry about you,” he said closing the trunk.

My mom chose that moment to come out of the house with a bag in her hand and a tissue held to her face.

“Sweetie, I’m going to miss you so much
,” she said grabbing me into a hug.

“Mom
my
,” I said hugging her back, “I love you.”

She pulled away but held me at arm’s length. “Promise you’ll call every day.”

“I promise mom,” I said. She nodded as if my answer was good enough for her.

“Don’t worry about her honey. My mom will take good care of her,” my dad said. He wiped his brow with his hand. My dad had thick dark brown hair and hazel eyes.

“I know,” my mom said, “But she’s my little girl.”

“She’s my little girl too,” my dad said
rubbing her back
.

“Um… Little girl standing right here,” I said. It always drove me crazy when my parents acted like I wasn’t standing right in front of them.

My dad laughed his good belly laugh.

“Alright, Christine, we’ve got to let her get on the road. She has quite a drive ahead of her.”

“I’m not ready,” my mom said dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.
She had her honey brown hair pulled back into a sloppy pony tail and her makeup was starting to run as her dark brown eyes pooled with
tears. I had my dad’s dark hair
that was
slightly
wavy like my mom’s
but sometimes wanted to hang like limp noodles
and I had my mom’s brown eyes. My features were a mix of both of theirs. I had my dad’s long straight aristocratic nose and my mom’s full lips
but unfortunately my top lip was slightly larger than the bottom
. Luckily
,
I hadn’t inherited my dad’s widow’s peak.

They each gave me a hug and then my dad handed
me my
car keys. He pulled me in for yet another hug.

“Take this for gas and anything else you need while you’re with Gram. This is for emergencies only though. No shopping sprees,” he joked
as he slid a credit card into my hand
. My dad knew I wasn’t into clothes and therefore had nothing to worry about. I had learned a long time ago that the less I
owned
the
less I had to pack.

I got in my car and backed out of the driveway. Looking in my rearview mirror I could see my mom and dad standing on the driveway waving. He had his arm around her but then I saw the FOR SALE sign and it shattered the image. If they weren’t moving I wouldn’t have to do this.

I sighed and turned up the radio. A loud pop song was on but for once I didn’t mind; anything to keep me awake. I had a long drive ahead of me; almost ten hours and I wasn’t looking forward to it.

Familiar sights flashed by me.
Our neighborhood, my school, the 7Eleven where
my friends and I
always hung out.
The sights didn’t bother me as much as it might someone else. I was used to leaving. Leaving I could handle but I wasn’t so sure if I would be able to handle staying.

I got onto the highway and the car hummed pleasantly. The traffic was heavy and I became increasingly irritated. After driving for four hours with no stops I finally pulled over and filled the car with gas and used the bathroom. There was a Wendy’s next door so I walked over and got something to eat. It was twelve o’ clock and people were out milling about. I couldn’t help but envy them and their simple uncomplicated lives.

I got back in the car wishing that I was already there.
Depending on traffic I had another five to six hours ahead of me.

I had to stop again another four hours later to get
something to eat
. I grabbed a drink and sandwich and ate it in the car. I had five missed calls.
Three from my parents, one from my friends, and one from Gram.
I took a bite of sandwich and decided to call my parents back first.

My mom answered on the first ring. Was I fine? Yes, I assured her. Was I getting close?
Yep, almost there.
Would I call when I got there?
Yeah, definitely.

I hung up and called my friends back. Hopefully they would be able to cheer me up.

“Hey,” I sighed into the phone.

“Oh my god, Sophie, it’s only been twenty-four hours and we already don’t know what to do without you!” said Anna. I could hear the sounds of Katelyn and Jess in the background.

“I’m sure you’ll be fine without me,” I said with a smile tugging at my lips.

“We’ll never be the same! You’re the life of the party!” sounded Jess’s voice.

“Well I can’t argue with you there,” I said laughing.
I was far from the life of the party. I was the quiet timid girl in the background. Being the center of attention was more Anna’s scene.
I knew I could count on them to make me laugh
, though. “I better go,” I said, wanting to finish my calls so that I could get back on the road.

“Okay,” said Anna, “We miss you!” all three of them said in unison before hanging up.

Before calling Gram back I got out and thr
ew
away my trash. Climbing back in I dialed her number but all I got was her voicemail.

“Hey, Gram it’s me Sophie, I’m almost there. I’m going to be about another hour to an hour and a half. So, I’ll see you when I get there. Bye,” I said hanging up.
I couldn’t wait to finally get there. My legs were stiff and my butt was starting to hurt from sitting so long.

I got off of I-81 onto my exit
and relief flooded my body. I was here. I had done it. The trees were tall and bright green. I could see mountains. There were no mountains in Indiana. Everything here was new and different. It was wonderful.

I turned onto the back road and seeing my gas gauge swivel closer and closer to the big E I decided to fill up before I officially arrived at Gram’s. I drove down to the Handy Mart that I remembered being close to Gram’s house. A bunch of kids my age were hanging out in the parking lot. I assumed they
went to the local high school
and would be my classmates. School
didn’t start for another three days. My schedule and everything was already in order. I got out of my car and swiped my dad’s credit card. As I was pumping gas I noticed that pretty much everyone was
looking
at me. The kids that had been hanging out laughing were now staring right at me. I looked down at my feet but I could still feel their eyes on
me
. I heard the little click that said the car was full so I replaced the
nozzle
and jumped in my car as quick as I could. I looked back at the crowd of kids a
nd
saw their eyes follow my car. It looked like school was going to be awesome.