Over You (20 page)

As soon as he drove away, she went into the house and into the kitchen, wanting to avoid Kyle when he came back inside. Staring at the two pitchers of flowers that Alex had brought, she tried to sort out her feelings.
 

The picnic lunch had been a fun surprise, and by the end of it she had felt some of the familiar spark, and when he’d kissed her she had definitely felt attracted to him. But when she’d realized Kyle had witnessed her kissing Alex, she’d almost felt like she’d betrayed Kyle.

And what was up with Kyle’s reaction? She thought. He had almost seemed jealous. But why in the world would he feel jealous when he has Melanie and his daughter? Does he think only
he
deserves to be happy and I don’t deserve to have anyone?

The thought angered her and she was glad she’d given Alex the final kiss right in front of Kyle. She needed him to know that she had gone on with her life.

As Jessica stared at the flowers, she decided that even though she really did need to work, right now she was going into the attic to search for her aunt’s vases.

Chapter Twenty-Three

As Jessica passed her aunt’s bedroom on the way to the attic, she heard the sound of Kyle hard at work and felt her face flush as she thought about how it must have looked to him to see her kissing Alex so passionately. But then she wondered why it mattered to her what he thought.

Because you’re still in love with him, she thought. But he doesn’t feel the same, she argued with herself, so let it go.

She shook her head, knowing it wasn’t that easy, and went up the stairs to the attic. Once there, she pulled the strings to turn on the light bulbs, illuminating the space.
 

Where to begin, she thought as she perused the stacks of boxes.

Walking to the nearest stack, she lifted the lid on the top box and dug around, finding old clothes. She set the box aside and went through the next one. After half an hour, she hadn’t found the vases. With her hands on her hips, she scanned the room, wondering where to dig next. She needed to start working on her programming project soon and gave herself another fifteen minutes to search, then she would have to look some other time.

Wiping a bead of sweat from her forehead, she walked to a random stack of boxes and began looking. No vases in the first one. She lifted the lid on the second one and found some old photographs. Curious, she carried the box to the brightest part of the room and set it on the floor. She pulled out the photos one by one, examining each, but didn’t recognize any of the people in them. Flipping the photos over, she read the names on the back, but none sounded familiar.

She wondered if her aunt would know who the people were. Then it occurred to her that these might be William’s photos. Excitement rushed through her as she imagined finding a picture of him with Teal and Douglas.
 

Carefully, she examined each photo, turning them over to see what names were written there. It wasn’t until she’d nearly reached the bottom of the stack that she found something that caught her eye. Though it wasn’t a photo of William with Teal and Douglas, it was a newspaper photo of Teal holding baby Douglas. Jessica noticed that it was folded just to Teal’s right. She carefully unfolded the yellowed and fragile paper and saw Charles standing next to Teal.

“Interesting,” Jessica said softly. It seemed to be a confirmation that Teal was William’s secret love.

Wondering if there were any more photos with Teal, Jessica continued digging. At the very bottom she found an envelope tucked under the fold of the box. Carefully tugging it loose, Jessica read the name scrawled on the outside.

Teal.

“Score,” she said out loud, thrilled to find something that might be the definitive confirmation that Teal was William’s secret love.

She opened the envelope and extracted the letter inside. It had become brittle with age and she carefully unfolded the pages. Turning to the beginning, her eyes sought out the words hungrily.

My dearest Teal,

I know you don’t want me to contact you any longer, but I need to write to you this final time. I imagine you’ll never see these words, but I still feel a need to express to you the great love I have for you. You can’t imagine how happy I was to learn of our son’s birth. I deeply regret that I can’t tell the world that he is mine.

I’ve seen photos of you holding him and I can see his resemblance to me. For your sake, I hope Charles is able to overlook the fact that the boy looks nothing like him.
 

My deepest desire is to be with you and Douglas and be a family. I know you feel it is best if you stay with Charles—you seem to think the money and opportunities he can give our son are more important than the love of a father—but I disagree, as you know. As I’ve expressed to you, I believe it is unfair of you to prevent me from seeing my son. I hope to one day tell him that I am, in fact, his father. I hope you will be able to forgive me, but it is something I must do.

I will wait until he is of age—I’m not so foolish as to do it any sooner. But the thought of telling him is the only thing keeping me sane. Yes, I do mean sane. You know how crazy in love with you I am.

Teal, I still have a hard time believing that you took notice of me that day in the pouring rain, and that our new friendship developed as it did. I will never be able to be with another woman—you are the only woman for me. If you ever need me, I will be there for you.

Yours forever,

William

Jessica reread the letter, hardly believing what she was reading. If she’d found this letter earlier she would have had the answers right from the start. Excited to share what she’d found with her aunt, she put the letter and newspaper photo aside, and placed the rest of the photos back in the box, then carried her two new treasures down to her bedroom and placed them with the stack of love letters in the drawer of the bedside table.

As she slid the drawer closed, she realized she still didn’t know what ‘B’ stood for and she noticed that William never called Teal that in his letter. She also wondered if William had ever told Douglas that he was his father.

“A mystery for another day,” she said, pleased with what she’d discovered.

“Hey, Jessica?”

She spun around, startled. “Kyle.” Redness flooded her face as she recalled him catching her kissing Alex only a few hours before.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Well, you did.” Irritated with him on so many levels, her tone was sharp.

“I said I was sorry.”
 

Though her annoyance with him was strong, she couldn’t help feeling drawn to him. His magnetism had always been powerful, and she felt it now. “What do you want?” she snapped, keeping her façade of indifference in place.

“I just wanted to check with you on the layout of the tile.”

“What?” She didn’t know what she’d expected him to say, but him asking about the tile was the last thing on her mind.
What did you expect? That he was going to come in here and profess his love for you? Don’t be pathetic!
Embarrassed at her thoughts, she felt redness climbing back up her neck.

“The tile. I need to get your approval before I start laying it.”

“Okay. Sure.” Jessica followed him to her aunt’s bathroom. He stopped in the doorway and she stood next to him. His cologne filled her nostrils and with it, memories of the times they spent together.
 

“Your aunt wanted them laid on a diagonal, but I wanted you to take a look and see what you think before I mix a batch of thin set and make it permanent.”

As he spoke, Jessica was very aware that there were only a few inches separating their bodies. She tried to focus on what he was saying as she stared at the tiles laid on the floor, but she had trouble forming a coherent thought.

“What do you think?” he asked, staring at her.

She studied the tiles on the floor like they were the most interesting thing she’d seen in months. She felt his eyes on her and frantically tried to think of something clever to say. “Yeah, they look great,” she finally said.

“Good. I’ll get started laying them then and see if I can get that done today.”

“Great,” she said, glancing at him before walking back to her bedroom and shutting the door.

How lame am I? She thought. He clearly has no interest in me, and I can’t even focus when he stands too close. Trying to push thoughts of Kyle out of her mind, she flopped down on her bed next to Hudson, who was napping. He meowed and stretched and Jessica scratched his head between his ears. “What have you accomplished today, you big lazy cat?” He purred in response, and Jessica frowned. “I’ve really got to get some work done.”

She left her room and went down the stairs and into the kitchen to get a drink of water. “Oh, the vases,” she said when she saw the pair of water pitchers filled with flowers. I’ll look for them tomorrow, she decided as she filled a glass with water.

She spent the next few hours working, but after her brief interaction with Kyle, she was hyper-aware of his comings and goings. When she heard him go out the front door at five o’clock, she figured he was done for the day. Hurrying to the front window, she peeked out through the curtains and watched him loading his tools into the truck.
 

As he lifted a heavy item into the bed of his truck, his biceps flexed and she felt her stomach flutter. She imagined his strong arms wrapped around her and his striking sea-green eyes gazing into hers, and heat replaced the flutter. But then she imagined his arms around Melanie and the love he must have for her and his daughter, and she felt sick that she would never be his. Hot tears filled her eyes and it was like he had left her all over again.

Hudson rubbed against her legs and meowed insistently. Jessica picked him up and held him close. He purred and nipped at a strand of her hair.
 

“Are you hungry, big guy?”

Carrying him into the kitchen, she set him on the floor, then wiped her eyes with a tissue. “Here you go,” she said, dumping a can of cat food into his bowl. She watched him eat, then remembered that Alex would be there soon to pick her up for dinner. Though she had no appetite, she had promised Alex she would go to dinner with him.

Jessica freshened up and was feeling less melancholy by the time Alex arrived.
 

“You look lovely, Jessica,” he said as he handed her a vase that held a single rose surrounded by greenery and baby’s breath.

When she saw the vase, she laughed. “It’s a good thing you brought your own. I haven’t found my aunt’s vases yet.”

He grinned. “I thought it might be prudent to include the vase this time.”

She set the small arrangement on the table in the entry.

“I have a special place to take you tonight,” Alex said, a secretive smile on his face.

“It’s not another bike ride, is it?”

He laughed. “No.” Then he held the front door open for her, and they walked to his car.

They drove through the main part of town but didn’t stop. “We’re not eating in town?” Jessica asked as they passed the places they’d eaten before.

“Not this time.”

Secretly relieved that the chances of running into Kyle and Melanie had just dropped sharply, Jessica felt calmer, not realizing until then how stressed she’d been at the possibility.

Ten minutes later they arrived at an upscale restaurant in a neighboring town. Alex helped Jessica from the car and walked her inside. He had made reservations and they were seated immediately. They talked about their day, but Jessica didn’t mention William’s letter. It was something she wasn’t ready to share with anyone but her aunt.
 

Once their food arrived they continued to chat about trivial things and Jessica found herself relaxing and truly enjoying Alex’s company.

“Would you care for dessert?” the server asked, once their dinner plates had been removed.

“Jessica?” Alex asked.

She shook her head. “I don’t think I have any room left.”

“I think I have a little room left. I’d like the chocolate mousse.” Alex smiled at Jessica before turning back to the server. “Bring an extra spoon, just in case.”

A few minutes later the server set a crystal bowl in front of Jessica. She began to protest, but the server ignored her and walked away. “I think this is for you,” she said as she reached toward the dish.

“Are you sure?” Alex asked, a big grin on his face.

Confused, she looked down at the dessert for the first time and her eyes grew wide. Around the stem of a cherry sat a sparkling diamond ring. She stared at it for a moment, trying to comprehend the implications. Finally, she lifted her gaze to meet Alex’s. Her mouth formed a question, but no sound came out.

Alex reached across the table and took her hands. “Jessica, these last few days have confirmed what I had always known but had been afraid to admit. I love you so very much. I want to be with you for the rest of my life.” He paused. “Jessica, will you marry me?”

Jessica’s mouth opened, but she had trouble speaking. “I . . . I don’t know,” she finally managed.

Though Alex’s smile dimmed, it was still present. “I know this probably comes as a bit of a surprise, but I want you to know it’s been on my mind for a long time.” He glanced at the table before looking back at her. “I keep thinking of all the good times we’ve had together. We’ve had so much fun. I think we make a great team and I’m hoping you’ll agree.”

“You’re right, this is a surprise.” Jessica tried to gather her thoughts. She had to accept that being with Kyle was not an option. And though Alex had made a mistake when he took Mikayla to dinner, she believed he meant it when he said he was sorry. He had made an effort in coming to town to woo her back and she knew he was crazy about her. But was that enough? “I just need some time to think about it before I give you an answer.”

“I understand.”

She lifted the ring off of the cherry and held it out to him.

Alex smiled and gently pushed her hand away. “Hold on to it while you’re thinking.”