Package Deal (11 page)

Jill pulled a clean tissue from the box under her arm, pressed it to her reddened nose. “I’ll help you tar and feather him if he causes any more trouble.” Behind dark circles, her eyes twinkled with mischief.

Kelly found it impossible not to laugh at Jill—one of the reasons she had been drawn to Jill Wagner for friendship when her own life seemed to have fallen apart. She rushed over and hugged her best friend. “I’m going to miss you, girlfriend.”

It suddenly hit her, an icy wave of emptiness. She’d taken a job three thousand miles away, never considering what her losses would be until this moment. She and Jill had grown close over the past few years, and now Kelly realized how much she’d counted on her for her wit, friendship, and approval. Jill would always be there when Kelly needed her—the greatest thing about best friends.

Jill resisted Kelly’s embrace. “Hey, stop being mushy.” She pulled another tissue from the box and pressed it to her nose. “You’ll make me cry.” Her reddened eyes offered proof of the little rest she’d gotten since the onset of her cold.

“Right. If your nose is running, it’s because you’re diseased, not sentimental!”

Kelly resumed her packing, strapping the top of the box with several strips of tape. She pushed it aside and crossed into the kitchen.

“I’ll make you a cup of hot tea. I haven’t packed that yet.” She cleared a space for them to sit at the end of the cluttered breakfast bar.

Jill sat down and propped her stuffed-up head on one hand while Kelly set the teakettle to boil. She pulled a package of fruit tarts from the freezer and popped them into the oven.

“So tell me, Kel. How’s Florida? How’s the job? Scary, great, what?”

“A bit lower keyed than the
Chronicle
. I think I’m going to like it. I’ll have more time for Lacy. My boss seems a little gruff, but I think he’s full of hot air.” She set the oven timer. “You won’t believe what happened on my flight out.”

She described in detail the terrible flight, her charming seat companion, the luggage mix-up and swap.

Jill shook her head. “It could only happen to you, Kel. So what’s with the man?”

“He’s a cryogenic physicist. An expert on cold temperatures in space. He also dabbles in real estate and helped me find a house for us, but I’m getting ahead of myself.” She leaned against the counter.

“I was awful to him when we met to swap luggage. I’d missed the appointment with my boss. It was my first day. I was upset and rude, so he told me off.”

Jill’s eyebrows lifted.

“He said the temperature on the peninsula would drop with me living in Florida.”

Jill suppressed a chuckle.

“I was so embarrassed, I just about begged him to forgive me.” She grinned, recalling the moment. “He accepted my humble apology and gave me a second chance.”

“I suppose if anyone can handle your icy moods, a cryogenicist can. He must not have suffered too much frostbite.”

“I guess his thermostat is tougher than most.”

“And…?” Jill coaxed her.

“I don’t know. He told me to call him when I get back. He’s gorgeous, which scares me to death, but he’s so thoughtful and kind and…” She paused, picturing their dinner at Mackey’s. “We laugh a lot together. He’s easy to be with, but…I don’t know…my life is okay the way it is. I probably shouldn’t complicate it. You know what I mean?”

She wasn’t ready to tell Jill about their dinner together, much less that he’d called her twice before she left. The kiss—top secret for now.

The teapot whistled. She filled two cups with boiling water and handed one to Jill.

Jill stirred some sugar in and sneezed. “If I were you, I’d make up some reason and call him when you get back.”

The last thing I need is a reason
. Kelly lowered her gaze to her teacup, considering Jill’s advice.

Jill sipped her tea. “He sounds like a good guy, and besides, he’s dreamy, right? You deserve a nice guy. So does Lacy.”

Kelly had backed herself into a corner and wished she had a candy cigarette to chew on. “Guys don’t come with guarantees. You know how I feel, Jill.” She parroted excuses she’d used in the past. “I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship with a cold expert, much less a real estate agent.” She was sorry she had mentioned Steve. “Why do we always end up talking about men?”

Jill leaned forward, forcing Kelly to meet her eye-to-eye. Kelly stared back, exhausted and dreading any further confrontation, knowing Jill would nail her point home whether Kelly wanted to listen or not.

“You’re chicken, Kelly. You’re interested in this man. You’re just plain scared.” Jill leaned back in her chair, frustration souring her pixie-like features.

“Here we go again,” Kelly grumbled. “I’m not scared. I’m content and can’t see making waves.”

“Sure you are. A few weeks ago you were talking about your life feeling stagnant. The only thing content to live in stagnancy is a tadpole, my friend. Wake up before the metamorphosis occurs and it’s too late. There aren’t many princes left who are willing to kiss a toad.”

“Cute.” Kelly remembered the conversation. “You were the one who told me to get a dog. It was safer. Make up your mind. Do I need a dog or a date?”

“It was a joke. I’d been stood up the night before. Now I’m serious. This man sounds interesting, and you won’t even give him a chance.”

She’d given him a chance, but she wasn’t ready to admit it to Jill, just in case she was wrong.

“It’s the same old story, Kel. Your dad deserted you. Ken left. But I’m pretty sure Robby didn’t check out on you because he wanted to. You could trust Robby, and you did, proving all men aren’t undependable rats. Why do you keep suffering over your past, when you’ve got a great future ahead of you?”

Look who’s talking.
“I never said
all
men were rats. Undependable, maybe. And for the record, Robby wasn’t so dependable either, or he wouldn’t have been driving like a maniac and gotten himself killed. I’m sure there are good men out there, but neither one of us has found one yet, and right now I’m not up to wading through the slime to find the good ones.”

Jill’s patience evaporated. “You’re a fool, Kelly Pearson. Robby was good and dependable. He never let you down. But you let him down everyday by refusing to forgive him for dying. Do you think he was thrilled about it? He was twenty-two. He had an entire lifetime to live.” Jill’s jaw snapped shut.

A hot band clamped around Kelly’s heart. “You’re cruel, Jill.” Her eyes brimmed over with tears.

Jill handed her a tissue. “I shouldn’t have said that, but you make me crazy. I just want you to wake up, take a chance, and be happy. I love you.”

“I know,” Kelly said from behind the tissue. “I love you, too.

Jill slumped over her teacup. “Remember the hunk who asked you out in October?”

Kelly nodded. She remembered too well. He’d triggered all the red flags.

“Getting involved scared you to death. You were so cool, he never called you again.”

“I wasn’t cool, just cautious,” she lied. “Cheri at the office went out with him later and told me he was an octopus. It turned out he wasn’t such a nice guy. You think anyone with muscles between his shoulders is a nice guy.”

“True.” Jill grinned, more a leer. “I do love a man with muscles, but your idea of asserting your independence can be downright chilling to a warm-blooded male. I feel sorry for this guy. You’ve probably scared him off already.”

“I don’t think Steve McCarthy is the kind you can scare off. I think if he’s really interested, he’ll hang in there. I just have to figure out if
I’m
interested. I admit I enjoyed his company. He was very low pressure, business-like but friendly.

“Still,” she hesitated, switching gears faster than a Daytona 500 racecar. “I hope he doesn’t call me. I’m just not ready for a relationship now.” The words sounded false, even to her. “What with the move, the new job—”

Jill cut her off. “You need to make up your mind. At this rate, you’ll never be ready. And I think there’s something important you’re overlooking. Lacy is six, and regardless of
your
hang-ups, she deserves to have a father.”

Jill’s remark hurt Kelly, and an awkward silence hung between them.
Saved by the oven timer’s buzz, Kelly
jumped up, removed the tarts and slid them onto a plate. She set the plate in front of Jill, accepting her friend’s opinion, but not liking it. Maybe Jill was right. Her own thoughts were unstable, constantly changing, and now
her conscience wrestled with her responsibilities to Lacy and her memories of Robby. She sat silent for a long moment, rubbing her forehead, thinking.

Around them—despite the chaos and clutter—soft music from the TV mingled with the scent of freshly baked pastry. Kelly knew Jill was right about Robby. Her brother had been the love and support in her life. When he died, her grief had turned to anger. She blamed him for leaving her alone, like her father had, like Ken had. She convinced herself men were more trouble than they were worth. In stark contradiction, she often envisioned her daughter someday happily married.

 
An earth shattering thought struck her. If she genuinely believed men would always let her down, how could Lacy grow up not seeing it and believing it, too? Lacy might never be willing to take a chance on marriage—like her mother.

Kelly burst into tears. “
What am I doing to my daughter?”
She plucked another tissue from the box in front of Jill. Giving her head a shake, she dabbed at her tears then swallowed some tea. She didn’t blame Jill for her observations, and it wasn’t the first time something Jill said had forced her to probe her feelings a little deeper. When it came to her own affairs, Jill was flaky, but she seemed to possess uncanny insight into other people’s lives.

While Jill sat speechless, Kelly struggled to bring some clarity to her own muddled thoughts. Did she really believe all men were bums, or was she afraid there was something wrong with herself? Why was she still wallowing in pain and self-pity? Was she taking the easy, risk-free way through life? Even she wasn’t sure anymore.

“I’ll think about it. You’re right about one thing. Lacy does deserve a fair chance, and I don’t want to rob her of anything I’ll regret later.” She dropped her head to her hands.
Better find out what your true feelings are, Kelly. Better find out soon. For Lacy’s sake.

Chapter Twelve

K
elly knelt beside the marble headstone, a slow California drizzle wrapping her in a gray veil. She reached out and pressed her palm against the slick stone, an image of her younger brother’s mischievous face forming in her mind. The granite lay cold and wet beneath her hand. Grief swelled in her chest, and her bottom lip trembled. Saying goodbye to Robby was the toughest thing she would ever do.

She and Robby had been glued at the hip throughout their tumultuous childhoods. He’d been her crutch after Ken’s big walkout. When Lacy was born, he had even stood in for Ken in the delivery room. An uncomfortable lump formed in Kelly’s throat. He’d been her constant for as long as he had lived. Now, he was gone and she needed him more than ever.

“Robby,” she whispered, closing her eyes against the pain. “You little jerk!”

He’d gotten himself killed in a car accident two years ago. God, she missed him
. She’d counted on him to be there always, then
poof!
He was gone, leaving a hole in her life the size of the Grand Canyon.

Kelly squeezed her eyes shut, forcing back the vivid past.
Jill had been right. She didn’t think she would ever forgive Robby for dropping out on her so suddenly. Grief consumed her, the pain so terrible she could barely breathe.