Painless (10 page)

Chapter 22

After taking Scruffy home, I unlock my front door and walk inside.

The house is quiet. Veronica’s around somewhere, maybe watching a court program on TV. It’s fine with me, but I think something else would be more interesting.

She’s not in the living room so I stretch out on the sofa, feeling my cell phone in my pocket. I take it out and message Luna. I don’t usually call or message anybody unless I have a reason.

Your parents called Joe looking for you.

I sit up and set the phone down on the arm of the couch. It’s too early to take a nap, but I’m sleepy. I close my eyes. I hear Veronica come into the living room, and I open my eyes and watch her. She dusts the TV, the coffee tables, the end tables, and then me. She doesn’t say a word, but I have a feeling she wants me to do something like get out of the way and write the thank-you cards.

I wonder what Spencer, Cameron, and Luna are doing today.

I’m almost asleep when I hear Veronica yell, “David! Answer your cell phone! Do I have to do everything around here?”

I sit and pick up my phone. “Hello.”

“Hey, David,” Luna says, sounding out of breath.

My heart speeds up. “You got my message?”

“Yeah,” she says. “I called them.”

Veronica turns on the TV. “Hold on,” I say and go into the kitchen. “Are you in trouble?”

“They were worried about me. They’re not now.”

“Your car’s fixed?” I ask.

“I dropped it off this morning. It won’t be ready until tomorrow, but at least I have a cell phone now. Can you give me a ride home?”

There’s no way I’ll say no. “Yes,” I say. I don’t know what Joe will do if he finds out. I hope Veronica doesn’t try to stop me.

Luna gives me directions.

I find Veronica in the study dusting and moving some of Joe’s stuff around. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” I say.

She looks over at me. “Why?”

“Joe said to stay out of the study.”

She shrugs. “He won’t know. I’ve put the cards and letters on the desk where you can work on them without getting sidetracked.”

“I will later, but Luna’s stranded,” I say. “I’m going to give her a ride.”

Veronica nods. “You haven’t been showing you’re responsible,” she says.

I hate looking at sympathy cards. It makes me feel like Nana died yesterday.

I go to the garage and climb into the car. I open the garage door and back out. Ten minutes later I arrive at the auto repair shop. Luna’s waiting out front for me.

It’s turning out to be a great day, and I want the afternoon to last forever.

We talk as I drive her home. Her mother cried and cried when Luna called. She thought something had happened to Luna. They were either going to call the police or come to Waterly. They showed up unexpectedly another time during the middle of the night after not hearing from Luna. They made airline reservations, took an evening flight, rented a car, and went to Luna’s apartment. There were about four or five people passed out on the floor. There was garbage and dirty dishes all over the place. Her parents went to a motel and left the next day. Her mother called later on and said she’d never been so disappointed in her.

“Worse words ever,” I say.

“I hate to call because I feel like they’re disappointed that I work at low-paying jobs, I take courses online, and my car’s a piece of junk. I’m not getting anywhere.” She smiles. “They don’t see how hard I’m trying.”

My grandparents never expected me to get anywhere, but I had speech therapy because it was hard to understand me when I talked. I had the best doctors, the best clothes, the best tutors. They made me practice playing the piano as exercise for my fingers and to help my hand-eye coordination. They built me a nature trail.

Some of the houses on Luna’s street have junk in the yard. Others have uncut lawns or are for sale. I park in front of a small apartment building with a concrete yard. I imagine hanging out with Luna for the rest of the day. Maybe we’ll go to dinner or to a movie. I don’t know what. “You live alone now?” I ask.

“My roommate moved before I had the chance,” she says. “I’d invite you inside, but I don’t have air-conditioning.”

“That’s fine,” I say, not looking at her. “We could do something else.”

“There’s a party tonight.”

“Sounds good,” I say.

“Pick me up at nine?”

She probably only needs a ride, but I’m thinking maybe she’ll discover she really likes me. I don’t have anything to lose. Besides, I’m following my doctor’s orders to get out more, even if Joe doesn’t want me to do anything. Anyway, he hasn’t left for Belize yet. His rules aren’t in effect yet.

Thirty minutes later, I’m walking in the front door at my house. I hear the TV in the living room, and I go to check if Veronica’s there.

She is. “What are you watching?” I ask.

“
Flip This House
.”

I sit on the sofa. “What’s it about?”

“Remodeling houses.” She stares at the TV. “We need to remodel our house before we sell it.”

“Sell it? Why?”

“We want to buy a condo.”

“Where?”

“Closer to our kids.”

That’s not anywhere around here. Her kids are adults and live in other states.

“I want to be able to spend time with my grandchildren,” she says. “I barely know them.” Veronica keeps talking. “I found your birth certificate on the floor in the study,” she says. “It’s on the desk. You should put it back in the safe.”

“I will.”

“Now,” she says and looks at me with a frown. “And do the thank-you notes.”

Chapter 23

I go to the study and sit in the chair at the desk. I have about a hundred thank-you notes to write, but the sympathy cards are mixed in with a bunch of junk mail. I’m thinking I’m a failure for not reading the cards sooner, but I couldn’t stand to look at them. I’d write something special on each one, but I don’t know what to say.

My birth certificate is on top of the sympathy cards. I pick it up. Underneath it is a legal envelope. I pull a letter out. It’s from STP Investigations.

Joe told me about this. He didn’t say he had an official letter.

It contains a list of dates and times and billing hours, but what’s interesting is that two months ago the detective located a woman named Elizabeth Tharp, formerly known as Carlee Hart. Her address is given along with the time, place, and date of her upcoming wedding.

Joe forgot to mention that.

The detective has written,
Does not want to be bothered
.
Threatened to call police.

Next to the info, Joe has scribbled,
TC to Stanley. Investigation closed.

That was a few days before Nana died.

All these years I’ve wanted to believe my mom had good reasons for dumping me, and maybe she did, but she could’ve taken a few minutes to tell Nana thanks or tell her what she knows about my dad. Nana never asked for anything else except for me to have a good life.

I put the birth certificate in the safe and sort through the cards and letters, hoping to find out more. Maybe there is a stupid sympathy card here. Maybe my mom even wrote me a letter.

I wonder what else is in the other pile of papers on his desk. I know I shouldn’t snoop. I have a conscience.

I’m wondering why Joe wouldn’t tell me everything. Like he keeps me hanging about moving to Twin Falls. He holds it over my head like a threat.

Like that trip to Belize he had to take alone. Every year he goes on a trip alone to meet somebody.

I don’t have anything else to do but write thank-you notes, so I search the study.

Thirty minutes later, I haven’t found anything. I start writing thank-you notes and have a stack finished when Veronica knocks.

“I have to go,” she says. She picks up the stack of cards. “You did great.”

“You saw the letter. Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask Veronica.

“It’s none of my business,” she says and puts down the cards. “But you needed to know. Joe made the decision not to tell you, but it’s because he didn’t want you hurt.”

I think keeping secrets hurts.

“Luna invited me to a party tonight,” I say.

“Go. Have fun but no drugs, alcohol, or sex. Be home before midnight.”

“Gotcha,” I say.

Chapter 24

A big sign in front of a ranch-style house two blocks from Luna’s reads
Happy Birthday, Jasmine
.

Luna says Jasmine works in the lab and her boyfriend, Lucas, is giving her a birthday party. Jasmine was Luna’s former roommate.

“And you still get along with her?” I ask.

“I don’t hold grudges,” Luna says. “But I have to warn you, this might turn out badly.” Luna tells me Jasmine has been planning on breaking up with Lucas, but she couldn’t do that when she found out he was giving her a party.

We’re an hour late because I got caught up in writing and searching the study again for more secrets Joe’s hiding. I didn’t find anything else.

I open the front door for Luna and follow her inside.

Music plays, people dance, others talk and laugh. Most seem to be in their early twenties. Luna takes my hand and we walk across the room.

It’s like a dream. Her hand feels good holding mine. I don’t have anything to worry about. Not tonight. It’s only us at a crowded party.

We stop to talk to four people standing in a circle.

“This is David,” Luna says. She introduces Jasmine, Piper, Kirk, and Gerald.

“Holy shit,” Piper says. “David Hart. I thought—I thought you didn’t make it.” She looks at the others. “He was really sick a few years ago and in the hospital. When I was a medical assistant, I used to sing to him, but then I went back to school to become an x-ray tech. Holy shit, David. You’re okay now? They cured you?”

“I’m okay,” I say and smile at her. “But I’m not cured.”

“David has an extremely rare disease, and he doesn’t feel pain,” Piper says.

“So what’s that like?” Gerald asks.

“What?” I ask.

“Not feeling pain?”

I glance at Luna. “It’s normal for me,” I say with a sigh. “I don’t have anything to compare it with.”

But it hurts not to feel.

Because I have messed up lives.

“It would be wonderful not to feel pain,” Jasmine says.

“Oh no, it isn’t,” Piper says. “Pain tells you when there is something wrong. It’s there for a reason.”

“Have you ever been in trial drug studies?” Gerald asks.

I shake my head. “Not really. It’s dangerous. Experimental drugs can kill you.”

“How do you think discoveries are made?” Gerald says.

I know how discoveries are made. “What I’m saying is that you really have to be careful with any experimental drug or treatment,” I try to explain. “And nobody’s interested in spending money researching a rare disease. I’d actually try an experimental drug if there was one.”

“I think money for research should go to common diseases like cancer,” Jasmine says. “Too many people die from cancer.”

“Where’s Lucas?” Luna asks Jasmine.

Jasmine rolls her eyes. “Who cares?”

I stare at Jasmine, thinking she should care since Lucas is giving her the party.

“When are you moving?” Gerald asks Luna.

“One week,” she says.

“Just give me a call if you need help. You renting a U-Haul?”

I take a deep breath. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. Pretty soon the population of Waterly will be down to one if everybody starts moving on to bigger and better things.

“I’m giving away what I can’t carry with me,” Luna says. “Come on by. I have some good junk.” She smiles at him.

Piper touches my arm. “Do you remember me?”

“No, but I remember somebody singing to me.”

Actually, I don’t remember that, but I figure it was nice of her to sing to me.

“Really?” she says. “You were in a coma, but I felt like you could hear me. Just knowing you could hear me makes my day.”

Luna says she’s starved and is getting some food. She walks away.

“Nice to meet you,” I tell Piper, Jasmine, and Gerald.

“Where are you going?” Piper asks.

“For food,” I say with a smile.

At the kitchen table I get a small plate of sausage balls, cheese, crackers, and brownies. Luna’s acting like I’m not in the room. I follow her outside and sit at a table by the pool.

“You can be with Piper if you want to,” Luna says. “She likes you.”

“Why would I want to be with Piper?” I ask.

“Having a girlfriend is on your bucket list,” Luna says.

“She’s a few years older than me,” I say. “And I’d rather hang out with you unless you’re waiting for Gerald. I think he likes you.”

“He likes me for my sofa,” Luna says.

I see a guy staggering around the pool. “He’s going to fall in.”

Luna turns her head. “Jasmine’s boyfriend, Lucas,” she says. “I predict before the night’s over, Jasmine will dump him.”

I kind of feel sorry for Lucas.

“She probably is with another guy right now,” Luna says. “Or else they would be together.” She looks over at Lucas. “He’s not always like that.”

Lucas pushes a girl into the pool.

“Did you grow up here?” Luna says.

“Sort of. When I was six, my dad dropped me off at my grandparents’ and never came back. I haven’t seen my dad since then. I don’t remember my mom.”

Luna flinches. “I remember that finding them is on your bucket list.”

I shrug. “Yeah.”

“When?”

“When what?” I say.

“Are you going to look for them?”

“Maybe I’ll see my mother soon. I have to talk to a detective first.” I look at the pool. Lucas is dragging another girl toward the water. She’s laughing as he throws her in.

Luna looks me in the eyes. “What’s going on?” she asks.

“I have her address.” I look away, tapping the table. “She lives in North Carolina, but she doesn’t want to see me.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have asked. I should’ve waited for you to tell me if you wanted me to know.”

“It’s okay.” I’m watching Lucas. “He’s coming this way. I bet you’re next to go into the water.”

“I just have a big mouth,” she says, not listening to me. “I didn’t mean—”

Lucas grabs her by the arm and pulls her toward the pool. She starts yelling, “Get your hands off me!”

I stand and knock my chair over.

When they’re at the edge, she somehow flips him into the water. He goes under, then surfaces and hangs on to the side. Luna comes back to the table.

Lucas climbs out of the pool and curses at Luna. He pulls his iPhone out of his pocket. “You have to pay for it,” he says.

“Leave her alone,” I say.

She turns around. “Moron.” She throws a sausage ball at him. It hits his chest and bounces onto the concrete. He picks it up and squashes it with his hand. He stomps toward us, eyeing me.

Is Luna crazy to be calling him a name? I want to
keep breathing.

She clutches my arm.

“We don’t want any trouble,” I say to Lucas.

Lucas gives me a look, and I take a step backward. I trip over the chair and fall. He grabs my neck and tries to stuff a sausage ball into my closed mouth. I smell grease and garlic, and I feel some grit. I never tried holding my breath this way before.

“Release him or I’ll sausage your balls,” Luna says. Of course she can talk and use non-verbs. I’m the one smothering.

A couple of guys pull his hands off my throat and drag him away. I stand up. Jasmine appears and starts cursing him. She tells him to pack his stuff or she’s calling the police.

Lucas starts crying.

“I should’ve just let him throw me into the pool,” Luna says and starts gasping. “He doesn’t deserve to be thrown out tonight.” She starts crying and places her hand on her chest. Gasping, she grabs on to me.

I help her to the chair and sit next to her.

“Try to take some deep breaths,” I say. “I’ll take care of you.”

I hold her wrist and check her pulse. It’s fast and faint. Her skin’s damp. I’m afraid something’s wrong with her heart. I know about heart attacks. When I was younger, I watched Grandpa have his last one.

Grandpa was slumped over in the kitchen floor and clutching his chest.

I called 911. A man answered. “What’s your emergency?”

“My grandpa is having a heart attack,” I said.

“Is he breathing?”

“He’s gasping, and his skin is wet and bluish.”

It took eight and a half minutes for help to arrive.

Luna’s pulse isn’t running away now, and it’s strong, but I hold on to her wrist to keep checking it. “You’ll be okay. Just stay still a few more minutes.”

“It’s nothing. I hurt my funny bone,” she says. “When he grabbed my arm, it hurt. And then the pain made my heart beat fast, and I felt nauseous for a minute. I’m fine now.”

I didn’t see her bump her elbow.

“I can’t take pain,” Luna says. “It kills me when I get a paper cut.”

I didn’t know paper cuts hurt. I’ve seen Nana suck her finger when she’s gotten one. I check my watch. I’ve been outside a half hour, and my body temperature’s normal.

“You are so sweet,” I hear. I turn my head and see Piper. “Protecting Luna like that.”

“I didn’t do anything,” I say.

“Lucas is such a loser,” Piper says.

I hate it when people are called names. “He was trying to fit in,” I say.

Piper laughs and walks away.

“Are you saying I shouldn’t have thrown him into the pool?” Luna says.

“No.”

“He’ll never fit in.”

“He shouldn’t have to try,” I say. “Jasmine is supposedly his girlfriend, but she wants to break up with him. She decides to use him so she’ll have a birthday party. That’s not right. She should’ve told him in the first place.” I shrug. “I didn’t see her with him at all earlier. Instead she was hanging out with her friends from work.”

We sit there for a while people-watching and talking about nothing in particular. Pretty soon, there are only a few couples left in the pool making out.

“I guess we’ll be heading in different directions about the same time if you decide to go to meet your mother,” she says.

“You’re definitely moving?”

“I have to go. I’ve quit my jobs. My apartment’s rented.”

“I have a crazy idea. What if we go to North Carolina together? I can leave anytime. We could go to the beach or to the mountains. Whatever you want to do.”

“I can’t,” she says.

“Okay,” I say.

The overhead lights start going out.

“I think that’s our hint it’s time to go.” Luna gazes at me. “Let’s go to your house, okay? Watch TV or something? But don’t get the wrong idea, okay? I don’t feel like going home yet, and I like talking to you. In a few days, I’ll be gone, and you’ll probably be headed to North Carolina.” She gives me a smile. “You should not miss an opportunity to meet your mother.”

Luna looks through the movies in the study and chooses two:
Garden State
and
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
. She says I should make the final choice. “We can watch both,” I say although I’d rather watch something like
Indiana Jones
. “Or we can find something new on cable.”

We watch a new movie. I don’t even know the name or who is in it. It’s a romance kind of like
Romeo and Juliet
, and the lovers both die at the end. Luna weeps. I don’t. I knew the ending at the beginning.

Then we decide to go outside to the pool.

I turn on the lights, and the wind’s making the water ripple. Luna heads back inside to get a blanket. The water looks so great that I jump in, swim a lap, and then dry with a towel. My clothes are dipping wet, but I’m not in the mood to change. The water might help keep my body temperature from going up. It’s fine right now. It’s only ninety-seven.

I’ve sat out here lots of nights when the sky was starry. That reminds me of the meteor shower I heard about on the news, but it’s not going to happen for a week. It has a name I don’t remember. Having Luna come over and watch it with me would be pretty great, but she’s going to be gone by then.

Watching meteors would be too sad to do alone. You’d think about them as falling stars, and of course you’d have to make a wish on every one of them, while knowing the whole wish-upon-a-star thing is a lie.

But I like to believe it’s true, just like I want to believe Pinocchio became a real boy.

“Hey,” Luna says. She has a blanket hanging over her arm, two drinks inside the blanket pressed against her chest, and a bowl of popcorn in her free hand. She sets the popcorn and drinks in the space between the lounge chairs, lies down, and covers up with the blanket.

It’s like I’m floating. I’m feeling great, but maybe I’ve been sniffing too much oxygen or nice-smelling hair.

Then we eat popcorn and watch the sky. We don’t talk. After a while I look over at Luna, and she’s asleep holding the empty bowl of popcorn. I take it and set it down. I think about waking her, but I don’t want her to go home.

I sit and wait for her to wake up.

But she doesn’t. She’s still sleeping. I touch her wrist with my hand.

“Don’t check my pulse,” she says.