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“To what?”

“Have a family,” Luke whispered.

A sigh escaped from Olivia. “Oh Luke,
somos una familia ya. No lo sabes
?”

Nathan held up his hand. “No, Livi, clearly he doesn’t know we’re already a family. And we’re not getting into this here. Luke has had a crap day and needs to work some things out.”

Nathan pulled Livi toward the door and Luke’s nerves lit up in panic. “You’re leaving? For good? Are you using the out clause?”

Olivia slipped away from Nathan and moved back toward Luke, taking his hand in hers. “No, baby. We want you. We want all of you. When you’re ready to ask us for what you want, we’ll be waiting. But don’t you dare put this only on the two of us. We’re not mind readers. You have to ask.”

Then before Luke could say anything else, the two of them slipped out of the classroom and down the hall to the exit. He almost went after them. Almost. But his feet felt like lead cemented to the ground.

•●•

“We should have asked him to move in with us earlier,” Olivia said from the door of their bedroom.

Nathan lay flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He’d been circling the conversation around in his mind for the past half hour. Where did Luke’s anger come from? Did he really think they only cared about sex? Had they gone wrong trying to keep his mind off all his burdens? “I wanted to make sure it was what he wanted. He’s not like you or me. He’s thoughtful about his decisions. And I didn’t want to take away his independence.”

“You heard what he said about family. He needs our protection. He’s so young. Since we never asked him to move in and let us help, he thinks that means we don’t care.”

“Yes, but we can’t just tell him we care and have all be forgiven. He doesn’t see us trying to take his mind off of things as caring. We need to give him time to work through it. This needs to be his decision. He has to figure out what he wants and ask for it.”

Olivia slipped in beside him and curled her body into his. She’d always been such a strong foundation for him, so willing to do whatever he asked. “He seems a little lost. And I don’t think it’s just about money. Do you think the bigger problem is losing his mom or the church?”

Nathan released a breath. “I’m not sure. But I’m betting they pour on the guilt pretty heavily at St. Jude’s. Especially if he tells that priest everything in the confessional.”

Olivia relaxed into him. “Well, Catholic Church is Catholic Church. There’s little chance the place is making him feel all warm and fuzzy every week.”

Nathan drew circles along her back. “So what do we do? We can’t ask him to stop being Catholic.”

Olivia shook her head. “No. He needs to work it out in his own mind. We have no choice but to wait for him to come around. Or not.”

Nathan pulled her in a little closer. “I hate this. He wants to be protected. He’s screaming for it. Did you see his face when Kathryn mentioned we were friends with Morgan and Julian?”

Olivia nodded. “Do you think…? I mean, he said he’d met a couple after Christmas. And he’s so new to the lifestyle, but the Loft? Julian and Morgan probably found him there.”

Nathan nodded. “Do you think he wants someone like Julian? I’m not anything like that.”

Olivia shook her head. “No. He doesn’t. I see how he is with you.”

Nathan relaxed. “He belongs to us. I’m sure of it. I can take care of him.”

Olivia pulled back, tracing the lines of his face with her familiar fingers. “I know you can, baby.”

Then he and Olivia made slow love, languishing over wet kisses and touching each other with gentle hands. But even when they came together, Olivia crying out beneath Nathan’s groan, it felt like both of them weren’t completely there. Like both of them had left a piece of themselves with Luke, and Nathan hoped to hell he would come back so they could be whole again.

•●•

Luke stood at the bar, staring into the drink in front of him. He wasn’t much of a drinker. He didn’t like beer. And he didn’t know much about mixed drinks. So he’d chosen a gin and tonic. It tasted all right. Not something he would probably order again.

What he wanted was to fit in. A normal evening with normal people in a normal location. That’s what he needed. Right? Anything to shake Olivia and Nathan from his mind.

He’d forced himself to give this a try. He seemed to be a failure at what he really craved. Maybe it was because his desire to live in a kinky ménage was doomed, either because it wasn’t for him or because it wasn’t what God would want for him.

Either way, he needed to give vanilla a shot. If he was honest with himself, he’d had very few vanilla experiences. They’d never appealed to him. Even when he was younger. Was he a pervert?

He took a deep breath and turned around to face the crowded bar.

The ice clinked in his glass, letting him know his hand was shaking. He set it on the bar behind him and tried to look casual.

Two giggling girls squeezed up to the bar next to him and ordered drinks. They stood back as they waited. One of them bumped his knee. “Oops. Sorry.” She continued to laugh as she grabbed his thigh. “I’m such a klutz.” She rolled her eyes. Her hand trailed up his leg as she spoke.

His cock didn’t react to her attention. What the hell was the matter with him? “No problem.” He grabbed his glass and took a drink, trying not to wince at the taste of the gin.

Suddenly the girl released him. She walked away with her friend, looking back at him with her head cocked to one side as though confused.

Was she wondering why he didn’t respond to her flirting? Hell, he was wondering the same thing.

Luke. Get it together. It’s what you’re here for. To pick up a woman. Remember? Normal. Try it.

He sat there for another thirty minutes. He ordered another gin and tonic, even though the first one had done nothing for him. He needed something to do with his hands, and it seemed most of the men surrounding him were drinking either beer or something on the rocks. So gin and tonic it was. He wasn’t brave enough to attempt to order something different.

Another woman squeezed up beside him to order a drink. He needed to make a move. He had a second chance. When her arm brushed his, he turned toward her frustrated glare. The bartender hadn’t noticed her yet.

Luke wasn’t the outgoing type, but he mustered up the courage to go for it. “It’s hard to get their attention. It’s crowded in here. Want me to try?”

She turned toward him and smiled, relief written on her face. “God. Would you?”

“Sure. What would you like to drink?”

“You choose.” She smiled broader.

Fuck
. He couldn’t even choose for himself, let alone someone else. Jesus.

Luke lifted his hand at the bartender, shaking so hard he was sure the woman would notice.

The man saw him almost immediately. “What can I get for you?”

“Make something special for my friend here.” Luke exhaled with relief when the idea came to him.

Moments later, the bartender returned with something green in a tall glass, and the woman clapped her hands. “That looks delicious.”

Luke handed over another ten dollars, knowing he was depleting this week’s wages when he should be socking them away.

He turned back to the woman as she sipped the fruity concoction. “Mmm. That’s good.” She let the straw slip from her full lips and held out a hand. “Ava.”

Luke smiled as he took her hand in his. “Mark.” He had no idea why he chose to lie to her, but it just slipped off his tongue.

“You want to dance?” Ava asked.

Luke nodded. Perfect opportunity. She was cute. Her blonde curls bobbed around her shoulders. Her big blue eyes were huge. She’d also taken a chance, asking him to dance.

Drinks in hand, they made their way through the crowded bar to the dance floor. They set their glasses on the ledge beside the floor and squeezed into the throng.

Ava immediately wrapped her arms around Luke’s neck and hauled him in close. “You’re cute.”

He tried not to wince.
Cute
was not a word he found to be a compliment.
Unless it came out of Olivia’s lips
.

The music was loud, and even when it switched to a slower song, it was still obnoxious.

Ava pressed her body into his. Her hands lowered from his shoulders to his lower back until the tips of her fingers toyed with his ass. She let her eyes close halfway, swaying to the song as though it was her favorite.

Luke held her stiffly. She didn’t do it for him. She was young. Sweet. Cute. Too cute. She wasn’t Olivia. She didn’t have that spark. She didn’t make his cock jump to attention and take notice like Nathan did. Nathan… God, Luke missed the way the man looked at him, as though he wanted to eat him.

When the song ended, Luke made an excuse about needing to use the restroom and slipped away. He didn’t even take his drink. He headed toward the entrance and stepped outside.

The second he emerged into the fresh outdoor air, a hand landed on his forearm.

Luke turned around to find a guy several inches taller than him eyeing him speculatively. “Sorry. I was watching you.”

Luke opened his mouth, but he couldn’t think of anything to say.

“You’re gay, right?” The guy shuffled his feet and released Luke’s arm. “I mean, forgive me if I’m wrong. I’m not usually this bold, but I saw you with those women. They don’t do it for you.”

Luke shook his head. He had no idea why.

The man smiled. He was maybe a few years older than Luke. He was slim and fit and…green. He glanced at the ground. “You want to get a coffee or something? I’ve had more than my share of alcohol to drink.” He lifted his gaze.

Luke nodded.

“I’ll drive.” The guy nodded toward the parking lot, and Luke found himself following the man. He was certainly more drawn to this tall man than either of the women he’d spoken to. He relaxed marginally.

“I’m Jesse,” he said as he pushed the button on his key fob. The older blue Honda Accord in front of Luke lit up with flashing rear lights as the doors unlocked.

“Mark.” Luke continued with the fake identification. Why not?

When they were both inside the car, Jesse turned to Luke and twisted his body. “I can’t really drink caffeine at this hour. Can you?”