Pandora Gets Greedy (8 page)

“Gods!”

“Wild, isn't it?” Pandy said, on the move. “I don't think there's anything this big back in Athens. Lucius sits over here. Y'know, I'm actually kinda surprised there's no one else around. I am so used to senators whispering in little groups or hurrying to their places as Caesar sits on the stage, surrounded by guards and fawning yes-men. Reminds me of how all the girls who wanted to be popular used to stand around Helen and Hippia back in middle school.”

“You mean, before they got turned into big black lizards?”

“Yeah, before that,” Pandy said, remembering what had happened when the two prettiest and meanest girls in her entire school had asked to see the box of evil just as Pandy was about to take it home. And that's how this whole mess started.

“What are you looking for?” Alcie asked, as Pandy stopped at a specific seat on a long row.

“I don't know, Alce. I just know that the senator is super interested in the new coin. It's pure gold, and if gold isn't a reason to get greedy, then I don't know what is.”

Pandy started poking around Lucius's Senate seat.

“But it would affect everyone, wouldn't it?” Alcie asked. “I mean if it's the gold, and we've seen it, wouldn't
we
be hurtin' on each other to get it?”

“Maybe. But it seems to really get to the senator. So maybe it has something to with when he's here.”

She stopped and sat down.

“There's nothing suspicious.” Pandy sighed. “Nothing even curious. But I had to give it a shot. I'll tell you, Alce, the main thing is I feel like … like …
myself
again. Gods! I think I'll try calling my dad again later tonight. I mean, he's gotta pick up his shell sometime, right?”

“You know it,” Alcie said.

“Oh!” Pandy said with a smile. “I don't know what did it, but two ticks of the sundial ago I was lost. And now, looking at Lucius looking at that coin, it's like I suddenly woke up! We've got two evils left to get and one of 'em is here and we're running out of time.”

“What we're really running out of is time to get that water back to Grumpius Maximus,” Alcie said.

“There's a fountain for the speakers and performers at the back of the stage,” Pandy said. “It's the one I use when the Senate meets. Come on.”

Pandy led Alcie up onto the stage and around to the back stairs; they found themselves behind the main theater in a beautiful and well-cared-for garden surrounded by long arcades on either side.

“See that wall way back there and those steps in the middle?” Pandy asked, filling the water pitcher from a bubbling fountain. “Behind it is where Pompey put the secret temple to Venus; almost no one is allowed there.”

Pandy put the lid on tight and looked around for Alcie who, Pandy realized, had fallen completely silent. She was standing at the railing of the platform they were on, gazing out into the trees and at the manicured plants, and at the lawns, completely devoid of people. The only sounds were made by birds singing in the trees.

“This may be the most beautiful place I have ever seen,” Alcie whispered. “I just want to find Homie and stay here.”

“Yeah,” Pandy said. “I know, I know. Let's go.”

But as they turned toward the amphitheater, a voice—like the trilling of a songbird, only much louder—came like a shot across the garden.

“Alcie, honey? Wait!”

Alcie froze in her tracks.

“Huh?” she said softly.

“Wait, Alcie! Wait! Come on, Proserpine! Don't look at me like that. You've been
wanting
to meet them for days, we finally track them both down and now you're stopping to adjust a
sash
? Well, what then? Oh, your
garland
… well, pardon me. Come on, they're right over here. What? I
know
!”

Alcie and Pandy both slowly turned around again and peered into the garden.

“Who is it?” Pandy asked.

“Gaahhhh,” Alcie gurgled.

Pandy truly couldn't tell if Alcie was delighted or terrified. Flying across the lawn, spinning their way through the trees, came two identical, beautiful creatures in deep gray robes shot throughout with streaks of scarlet, light rose, and fuchsia. They raced up the stairs and onto the platform; as one girl made a slight adjustment to the garland of spring flowers on her head, the other girl made straight for Alcie, catching her up in the biggest, tightest hug.

“HI!”

“HI!” Alcie managed to cough out in exactly the same tone, although the look on her face was pure surprise.

“Didn't expect to see me so soon, did you?”

“No …,” Alcie wheezed. “I … I … you gotta put me down, please.”

“Oh, sorry! Forgot my own strength!” said the girl as she released Alcie. “I know, I
know
! Soooo …
hi
! So much to tell you, but first things first. This is Proserpine! She's me, only Roman.”

“HI!” said the first girl, her garland still not quite right.

“HI!” Alcie answered back in a way that Pandy would have scoffed at back at school. So silly, so … girly. But now, watching these three, it seemed as natural as rain.

“Now you introduce
your
friend,” Persephone said. “As if we didn't already know!”

“I know!” said Proserpine.

“I
know
!”

Alcie turned to Pandy and the most fantastical grin spread over her face. Pandy saw that Alcie was nearly electrified with happiness and strangely relaxed at the same time.

“Pandy—oh, Gods—Pandora Atheneus Andromaeche Helena, this is Persephone and Proserpine.”

“HI!!!!” they said together.

From out of nowhere, her mouth opened and …

“HI!” Pandy giggled, and she flew into Persephone's arms for her own tight hug.

“Oh, Pandy! Can I call you that? Of course I can!
We
can! I have heard the most wonderful things about you and I have been telling Sistah-Goddess Proserpine
here all about your quest and the amazing places you've gone and about Mother's best friend, the she-dog …”

“Your Hera, my Juno,” whispered Proserpine conspiratorially.

“… that's right,
our
she-dog, sending Alce here into the underworld and all the fun we had until Buster—Hades—sent you back up topside. And now, we're here! And what's a few years between visits, huh?”

Persephone turned to Pandy.

“Did she tell you all about the underworld? Did she, huh? Huh?”

“She did!” Pandy said, caught up in the excitement, completely forgetting that Lucius Valerius was waiting for his water. “She talked mostly about the food.”

“I know! Oh! OH! I nearly forgot,” Persephone cried. She pulled a small sack from the folds of her robe. Inside were several clay jars, their lids sealed tight.

“Let's see, what did Cyrene send you? I think there's snail custard, wilted field greens, and maybe, just a few …”

“Don't tease. Don't tease me!” Alcie said, stamping her foot.

“Would I do that to you?” Persephone laughed. “Of course she sent a special batch of roasted dove hearts!”

“Now it's a festivaaaaaal!” Alcie squealed.

“But you have to share,” Proserpine said.

“As if!”

“You'd better!” Pandy giggled, playfully hitting Alcie on the arm. Then she looked around and shook her head, trying to clear it. Who
was
she? Why was she talking like this? And there was something bizarre Persephone had just said.

“How did you know I was here,” Alcie said. “I mean right here, right now? I could have been anywhere!”

“Okay, alpha,” said Persephone, “we're goddesses …”

“Duh!” said Pandy, parroting what had been Alcie's favorite word on their quest.

“… so we can pretty much see anything we want to. And beta, we were all out there today, you know, celebrating just like mortals. Zeus brought everyone to Rome and we're all living together and having the mostest fun! So when Proserpine spotted you and Alcie in the crowd and then saw you come in here, we followed because we have something to tell you.”

“Oh!” Proserpine squeaked. “Best idea! Best idea!”

“Say, say!” Persephone cried.

“Why don't Alcie and Pandy and …”

“Iole,” Pandy and Alcie said together.

“Iole! Why don't they all come over tonight for a Morpheus party and we can give each other facials and paint our toenails and …”

“Party, party,
party
!” Persephone began to chant as Proserpine joined in and the two began to play-slap at each other.

“Party!” crowed Alcie.

“We can't,” Pandy said, snapped back into the reality of their situation.

“Why not?” asked Alcie, slapping at the air in front of her.

“Because we're slaves and Iole's a junior Vestal and we can't go out after dark—or alone.”

“Oh, poo!” said Persephone.

“Double poo!” Proserpine agreed.

“Persephone, what is it that you wanted to tell me? Is it the reason why Zeus has brought everyone here?” Pandy asked, her brow suddenly furrowed. “Is it to help … or hurt me?”

“Ooh, such a serious face.” Proserpine laughed.

“I know!” said Persephone. “Well, the official line is that we're here on a family reunion holiday. And as far as helping goes, that I
don't
know. Zeus and Jupiter are calling the shots and it's sort of a day-by-day thing. They both really want you to do this all on your own. But, yes, everyone knows about Hera, and that's why we wanted to talk to you.”

“First of all, good for you!” said Proserpine.

“I
know
!”

“I KNOW!”

“Second,” Persephone continued, “we know that Mercury is basically pulling double-messenger duty while Hermes is going back and forth to Persia to pick up Hera's pieces. Sandals! You turned her into sandals! Oh, Hades, don't you just love it! Zeus is telling Hermes to go slow which is why you haven't seen her yet, but she'll be restored any day now. And combined with Juno's powers, she'll be even nastier … we think. We wanted you to be on guard!”

Pandy stood still for a moment; they were telling her nothing really useful, only that her time was now truly running out. Hera was probably going to kill her; same old, same old, blah, blah, blah. Only now, all the gods would get to watch.

“I should get this water back to the senator,” Pandy said.

“And we should get back,” Proserpine said. “Speaking of guards, there was a gorgeous centurion who winked at me today while Caesar was talking. And I saw him pushing people aside with his sword to get to where we were standing before we disappeared. I wanna find him!”

“You're a married goddess!” laughed Persephone.

“So are you and I've seen you looking!”

“Okay, honey,” Persephone said, turning to Alcie.
“Everyone on the underworld food-prep staff says hello. Now, protect your friend and share the goodies. We'll try to be in touch. Oh, I have
missed
you!”

“Me too, you,” Alcie said.

“I know!”

“Bye, Pandy, bye, Alcie! See you,” said Proserpine, as the goddesses faded into nothingness.

“Well, now you've met her—them!” Alcie said as they walked back into the amphitheater.

Suddenly it struck Pandy: the bizarre thing that Persephone had said.

“Alcie,” Pandy said, stopping short. “Why did Persephone say that it had been a few years between visits? You were in the underworld with her only a moon or so ago. What did she mean by
years
?”

“Apri …,” Alcie started, then remembered her promise to herself that she was not going to swear using fruit anymore. “I mean, merciful Athena, I have no idea what she meant. It was probably nothing, because that's exactly what time means in the underworld: nothing. You saw Persephone, P, she's fantastic, but she's bonkers!”

“Yeah,” Pandy said absently.

She was silent for several moments.

“Look,” Alcie said, knowing exactly what was bothering her best friend. “Hera's tried to kill you before and she actually
did
kill me. It's nothing we can't handle.”

Pandy stopped right before she entered the tunnel that would take them out of the building and looked at the immense semicircle of seats.

“How many people do you think this place holds?”

“Apollo's toenail if I know,” said Alcie, popping a dove heart into her mouth.

“At least ten thousand people. And I'm here almost every day. If I were Hera, this is where I'd do it. Get a big crowd in here for some reason. A lot of people watching. And nobody would really know what's going on; just a goddess angry with a mortal. No one to save me. No one would say a word.”

“You are creeping me out.”

“Me too. Hey, let me try one of those dove thingies!”

Conversation … The First

Shortly after the middle of the night, Mercury, like his Greek counterpart, keenly sensitive to the stirrings of the other immortals, woke with a start to find Hermes kneeling out in the corridor, lacing his sandals.

“What is it?”

“Someone's rustling about,” Hermes answered. “Come on, get up.”

“Wait, wait,
wait
. Didn't you just get
back
from Persia only a few moments ago? Didn't I just hear you go into your room? Didn't you just
unlace
those things?”

“You are correct, sir; no more trips to Persia for me. But someone is moving about below. Let's go see who needs what.”

“Ach! Why can't all of them just
sleep.
One night!”
Mercury sighed. “One whole night without somebody wanting something, sneaking about, sheesh!”