Panorama (55 page)

Josef comes into the room, the others already having gathered there, all of them much more tired than himself, he having handled it much better, one of them working under Chudoba, while the rest are with Sajdl. The youths lie about casually with their dirty boots on and mess up their bedding, though Josef tells them to take their boots off and pull themselves together, which they do as they begin to tell about how hard it is to work for Sajdl, who is in charge of the area to the left of the builders’ hut, the tempo murderous, Sajdl a dog without the slightest bit of care for the new arrivals, he instead having scoffed that they were young, fresh boys, so they should pick and shovel faster, the light train bringing along huge cars that four men were supposed to fill in half an hour, and then the train would pull away, but not a single new arrival had succeeded, the older workers needing a minimum of thirty-five minutes. The master had screamed that they were idiots, lazy vermin, for he can do it in twenty, you just need to throw your ass into it, but still it did no good. Then Čiperný showed up, and even he said that Sajdl shouldn’t be so hard on his people. By afternoon things had slowed down somewhat, but by then everyone was exhausted and needed forty minutes or even longer to load the cars, the master threatening that he should make them work overtime if this continued to happen, but today he will be lenient because it’s the first day. There is only one advantage to working for Sajdl, and that is that at noon you can run over to the canteen, toss down the slop they serve, and quickly run back up to the work site, arriving breathless, though soon the whistle blows and straight off you’re shoveling away like mad without having had any time to rest.

Josef advises the boys to stay at the work site in future in order to lie
down and rest, meaning that they should take something along to eat and forget the canteen food. This idea is met with approval, the boys saying it was too miserable in the canteen, where last year’s rotten potatoes are served, along with a disgusting broth, the soup tasting like dishwater. Josef then recommends that they cook for themselves each night, but the boys say that they don’t know how to and they are too tired, though Josef says that’s not a problem, for he’s willing to cook for them, he only needs one helper to do so, and that they can simply buy food and make simple meals, while each week only four of them pick up food in the canteen, although this week they’ll wait and see if the food is still so miserable and if they will have enough money to buy groceries. Josef will head straight off into town with a knapsack in order to see where he can get some proper milk, and maybe he’ll bring back a few other things as well, though someone will need to go with him. Simon volunteers to do so, and also gets a knapsack.

Already the first farm they come to is ready to sell them some milk for ration tickets. Eight people. Let’s see, that’s no more than a liter a day, but we’ll have to see what we can do, for it can be arranged, and if no one tells anyone, then there will be three liters a day available. Josef and Simon are satisfied with this plan, but before they head back they want to go into the village in order to purchase a milk can, but where is the best place to do so? Kopřiva is the best, and sometimes he won’t even ask for a ration ticket. Go to Kopřiva, he’s just past the bridge, the first shop, a tiny place, but chock-full of goods, where they find both people from the village and forced laborers, Kopřiva and his wife having their hands full with trying to serve all the customers, though finally it’s Josef and Simon’s turn as they buy a couple of pots, a pan, a five-liter can, two cooking spoons, and a good kitchen knife, after which they also take a couple of loaves of bread, happy that they are not forced to take only a part of each. They then promise always to shop there, if they can, and Kopřiva promises that, yes, they will always be well served, as long as possible, but ration tickets will indeed have to be used. But we can sell you what others are willing to do without, so they buy potatoes, barley, grits, and oatmeal as well. This is fine with Kopřiva, for no one in Wirschenowitz wants oatmeal, nor does anyone want the cornmeal that has been stripped of its oil, so they get cornmeal, as well as some proper flour. But only for ration tickets. Sugar must also go for tickets, as well as marmalade,
salt, and some spices, and could they have some vegetables? Ah, I’m afraid there are none, just some leeks, vegetables are rare here in general, but you can have some dried onions, yes, and there’s pudding powder as well, though hardly anyone wants it, for nobody buys it. Yes, we’d be happy to have some. Then Frau Kopřiva says that there are some sour pickles. This pleases Simon, who wants to take some—eight men, two for each, so sixteen in all. No, you can’t have that many, only eight, no customer is supposed to get more than five, but since it’s eight men we can make an exception. Simon can’t wait and eats his pickle on the spot, Josef doing so as well, which satisfies each, after which the bill must be tallied, please could you write it down, what exactly does that refer to? Ah yes, the caraway seeds, and that’s the barley, that’s the grits, it all makes sense, here’s your change, that’s right, after which the two say goodbye with both knapsacks full, as well as their hands, and Kopřiva calls out, “Please do us the honor again sometime soon, we have good schnapps available!” But already they are on their way back, the milk ready at the farm, the only question being whether they want fresh farmer’s cheese as well. Yes, let’s have some, a kilo of cheese, here’s the money, and the two turn away satisfied.

The boys in the room have been resting for a bit, and when they see all the groceries their eyes brim with joy, after which the stove is quickly lit, Josef begins to make a hearty soup, and when he discovers that he didn’t get any margarine Simon gives him a little chunk of fat, though tomorrow they’ll have to make sure not to forget margarine when they go to Kopřiva, while in the meantime sweet corn pudding is prepared. The wood provides a steady fire, the stove is excellent, and so the food is soon done, there being a lot of it, though no one worries that any will be left over, for everything is divided up and consumed. How quickly and easily they have arranged their own accommodations here, some saying how fantastic it all is, and that they want to keep doing the same. None of Josef’s colleagues think about sneaking out the way they did yesterday, and although they are all very tired, each also feels very content, his bond with the others strengthening, his depression waning. Josef thinks his comrades will get used to it all, nor will Sajdl eat them up, they just need to be strong and keep their heads and not dwell upon their cares too much. Josef doesn’t need to tell them to get some rest, for they are happy to do so on their own.

Simon still wants to talk to Josef and says, “My hands are clearly going to be ruined here. I play the violin. My hands will get too stiff from working. Already my fingers feel like clumps. I couldn’t play a scale even if I tried.” Josef wants to comfort him, for certainly you can’t play the violin after such work, but in two or three years Germany will have lost the war, you have to be patient until then, while in the meantime it makes no sense to keep dwelling on the future. Simon agrees, though he cannot believe that the war will last only another two years, Germany is much too strong, and if it goes well it could last four years, and by then with or without forced labor the Jews will be finished, they won’t be allowed to live in such half-free manner as they do here in Wirschenowitz for long, because it’s only a transitional period. Simon has a cousin who has it on good intelligence that bad things are being planned for the Jews, and that they will be shut up in large camps and supposedly all sent to Poland, and whoever doesn’t die in the process will be threatened with pogroms and hunger, the families ripped apart and destroyed, sick and old and weak people certainly having no chance of survival. Simon’s greatest fear is that his father was taken as a hostage in Pilsen at the start of the war and was never let go, and that he is sitting in a German camp called Buchenwald, his mother continually afraid, for now that Simon is no longer with her she is alone with her aging mother, the father having run a busy practice as a skin doctor, the best specialist far and wide, he being a wonderful man, somewhat quiet but full of good humor. He made the most wonderful toys for Simon, none of the ones for sale half so beautiful, he once having built a medieval castle out of wood, complete with towers and battlements, and painted splendidly, while he had also taken such joy in Simon’s progress with the violin, such that he came to pressure the boy a bit, saying that he must become a violinist, because he had what it takes, while the father loved to comment on Simon’s playing, even though he wasn’t a trained musician himself, he not understanding the expressive aspects of the violin, but rather the technical problems, such that Simon learned as much from him as from all his teachers. It’s almost a year since he was arrested, yes, in fourteen days it will be a year, and he’s only rarely allowed to write and very little, though they are valiant letters, he knowing marvelously how to conceal what he means to say, though the mother and son know exactly what he means to say, he telling the mother to
be brave, for Simon to study hard and play his violin in order to improve, though it’s been months since he’s been able to, since he had to work in a factory during the day, and at night he had to help his mother, he being able to practice only on the weekends.

“I’m afraid that I’m finished with the violin for good. I don’t even have it with me here. It would be ridiculous. I wouldn’t risk taking my good violin along, and the bad one … No, it’s just better that I don’t have one at all.” Josef reminds Simon that he’s still very young, and he has a long time to decide whether or not he will become a violinist, so he shouldn’t burden himself now, for these days it’s easy to get lost in plans for the future, but he should still live for his music, and think about beautiful, uplifting works inside. It’s especially in times like these that you question whether art is worth anything and, should you not want to make it, that doesn’t mean that life comes to a standstill, for life is what the living value most, it can be willingly sacrificed out of dignity, but no price can ever be placed upon it, and even amid forced labor you don’t sacrifice your dignity, for it’s what allows you to endure. This helps Simon to think about how his father would handle matters, he no doubt suffering much worse conditions than anyone in Wirschenowitz. Josef reminds him of the hard work ahead of them tomorrow, that he needs to get some sleep, and that they will remain friends and will spend many hours togther on Sundays, after which they say good night.

The week marches on, the digging up of the area of turf nears an end, after which the heavier work begins, though it’s not too strenuous, especially when the weather is good. Josef gets better and better at his work, it showing in the fact that Rybák is not constantly angry, Josef is not yelled at the way many of his colleagues are, while Sláma also remains friendly, and he is beginning to know everyone in his group by name. Josef has had a salve for rheumatism sent to him, one that’s tried-and-true, and he gives it to Sláma for his wife, the former thanking him very much, saying that he knew Josef was a doctor, and if the salve helps Josef will get a hefty slab of bacon. Soon a bed is laid for the light train, as they dig up the ground with their picks and wheel the wheelbarrows, the extra clumps of earth are broken up with picks in order to shovel them into the train barrows, Sláma demonstrating how to handle the iron barrows, they needing to be filled properly and guided along planks, otherwise if they slide off the wheel presses
straight into the soft earth and is hard to pull out, though no need to worry, it will all work with a bit of care and attention. Guiding the wheelbarrow up a narrow, wobbly plank and adroitly tipping it over above is harder, Josef often losing control of the barrow and spilling his load, it then taking a few minutes to fill the barrow again, though Josef is hardly annoyed but instead finds it funny, for he can’t take the building of the railroad seriously, the track a ridiculous project that has no purpose whatsoever, the progress of the building even more ridiculous yet, for there is hardly any coordination of the work at hand, which could be utilized for quite different purposes if the Conqueror weren’t so maddeningly fixated on shoving around the people he oppressed.

Josef notices a boy who is clever and dreamy and exceptionally handsome, who works quickly and easily, even though he is delicate and fragile, he remaining noticeably clean, Josef not having seen anyone among Sláma’s crew who got neither his clothes nor his hands dirty, even his boots are not as dusty as the others, Karl Peters his name, his daintiness and his graceful movements causing him to be laughed at in the beginning, though now hardly anyone even pays attention. Once during the lunch break Josef seeks out Karl and begins to have a conversation with him, which is not easy to do, for Karl is quite shy and keeps somewhat to himself, although he’s indeed friendly to everyone and very agreeable to work with. Karl explains that he is treating his stay in the work camp like an extended school vacation of uncertain length. “That’s how I’ve come to think of it. I don’t let myself be affected by what goes on around me.”—“But you are nothing more than a forced laborer.”—“Of course, but I don’t let myself be conscious of it. I don’t want to go crazy. Everyone is crazy these days. I don’t like to get caught up in psychological problems. I want to stay normal.”—“But you can’t separate yourself from your surroundings.”—“Unfortunately, not completely, though to some extent. Many things I simply choose not to see, they don’t exist for me.”—“Do you think that you’ll be able to survive that way?”—“I don’t know whether I’ll survive. None of us knows that. But I won’t let up so long as I’m alive.” Karl works with his eyes half shut, he being quite sure of himself, even when he’s moonily lost in a dream. Josef has never come across him on the path from work and learns from him that he doesn’t follow the path the whole way, for it only reminds him more than
necessary of the labor he’s forced to do, which he shies away from wherever it occurs, instead having discovered a wonderful path that leads toward Wirschenowitz through dense woods, all you have to do is cross a bridge in Najdek and then head right, it taking a couple of minutes longer, though you hardly ever encounter another person and don’t have to stumble along over the railroad ties. It pleases Josef as well and he also begins to use this path, but not every day.