Paper Cranes (19 page)

“HA,” that doesn’t seem like something you would do.”

“And why is that?” he looked over in amusement.

“I tend to think you are more respectful then that,” I grinned.

“Then don’t look under my mattress” he cackled.

“Sweet Jesus, Lee. Now I feel I need to see your stash to decide if you have any weird fetishes, or if I should be afraid.”

“If you wanted to look at my porn, Dove, all you had to do was ask,” he chuckled.

“Do you really have porn under your mattress?” I actually started to question.

“What red blooded American male wouldn’t?”

“So you…,” I begin, terrified if I really want to ask this question or not.

“Jerk off to them?” He said with a huge grin.

Fuck.
Something about hearing him touching himself sends a jolt of pleasure straight to my core.

“Fuck, Lee. Why doesn’t that sound so bad?”

“Cause it’s not, and lighten up, Dove. We’re adults, besides I’m sure you’ve double clicked the mouse before.”

“Do what?” I laugh hysterically.

“You know, flicked the magical bean. Played with the little man in the canoe. Petted your kitty.”

“HOLY. SHIT. Is that what dudes call it these days?”

“What
should
we call it?” He questioned with raised eyebrow.

“How about the conventional rubbing the clit or even straight up masturbating?”

I could see this conversation took an odd turn, especially by the way Lee was squirming in his seat.

“You really know how to get to the point, Dove,” Lee stated. Even though it was dark in the car, I could tell he was at least, mildly amused.

“What? I didn’t think it was that far off base? Do you look at these magazines or videos…a lot?”

I knew I shouldn’t be going down this road, but sex is always a fun topic to talk about. Besides, I felt comfortable with Lee. Every day we grew closer and closer, which was comforting.

“Enough, I suppose. Not nearly as often as I would like, though,” he grinned. “What about you, Dove? I know you’re not getting laid, time to fess up.”

A flash of embarrassment came out of nowhere. This conversation could go one of two ways – really good, or really bad. Either he’s going to think I’m a complete nymphomaniac or extremely pathetic.

“You know, like, once or twice…”

“A week?” he raised his eyebrows.

“A day,” I blushed. I couldn’t tell if he was appalled or titillated by my confession. I’ve never told anyone this much, and especially if it has to do with my sex drive.

“I wish you hadn’t answered that,” he chuckled.

“Oh fuck, you think I’m pathetic, don’t you? I knew I should have lied!”

“First of all, don’t ever feel like you need to lie to me or anyone just to please them. Second, I said what I said because it’s hot as shit. I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, but seeing as we are friends, I suppose it shouldn’t matter,” he laughed.

“Is that, like, normal or am I a freak of nature?” I grimaced as I began biting my lip.

“Dove, you gotta stop doing that,” he begged with a chuckle.

“What did I do?” I asked confused.

“The fact that you have no clue what you did, is fucking adorable.”

“Oh,” I blurted as I released my lip.

“And you are perfectly normal, in fact, that’s way better than normal in my eyes.”

I cracked a smile as my blood pressure began to subside.

“What about you? I know
you’re
not getting laid, so?”

“Who said I’m not getting laid?” he tittered.

Shit. I hadn’t thought about that. What if he was getting laid? Something about that made my heart hurt and yet my blood rage. To think, my life was flipped on its axel and set on fire, while his could be thriving like a normal man should be.

“No, I haven’t gotten laid in quite some time.”

“Well, when was the last time?” I poked and prodded.

“A year ago, I suppose. I haven’t exactly been keeping track,” he let out a slight growl.

“Why so long?” I nosed around.

“Oh I don’t know. No one I cared to share more than one night with. I also need to think about Jackson. I mean, would this girl be a good role model for my son. I’m willing to bet no if she let me take her home after only talking for an hour or two at the bar. Not exactly mommy material.”

“Is that what you’re looking for – mommy material?” I grew concerned.

“Not anymore. I just want to be with someone who isn’t a total slut and is nice to my kid.”

“But you still want that person to suck you off or fuck your brains out every once in a while,” I giggled, trying to change the subject.

“Jesus, Dove. That mouth,” he laughed.

“Too much? No filter sometimes. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize for saying what’s on your mind. But seriously, we gotta stop talking about this. I can’t walk into support group with a chubby.”

“BAHH,” I blurted out laughing.

I had to admit. I had an air of confidence about myself knowing that I made Lee Daniels hard. Oh, and he was hard all right. Even in the dark cab I could see the bulge, a massive bulge at that.

“You’re going to make tonight’s meeting extremely hard for me,” he laughed.

“Why is that?” I asked confused.

Just as Lee was about to answer, we pulled up to St. Peter’s for the gathering. It felt odd walking into the meeting with Lee. He delicately placed his hand on the small of my back as he opened the door, motioning me to enter before him.

As I made my way into the room, my eyes landed on Chris. I eyed Lee, motioning that I was going to talk. Giving me the head nod, I proceeded to make my way over to the empty chair by Chris. Passing the stale cookies and coffee, I hurled my bag into an empty seat.

“Hey Chris, what’s shakin’ chica?

“Same ole’, just a different day. What’s with you and Hot-For-Teacher over there?” she giggled.

That’s what I loved about Chris. Yes, she was wheelchair bound now, but she had the best attitude. She was never gloom and doom, but a ray of sunshine splashed with a hint of sarcasm.

“Ahh, he gave me a ride; my car is a P.O.S. He’s actually doing me a huge favor to be honest.”

“Well, he’s burning a hole in the back of your head right now,” she smirked as she lifted her chin in his direction.

Sure enough, I turned around and he is staring hard-core at us. It wasn’t until Kenny approached him did he turn around. Lee must have said something to Kenny, because he erupted in a fist pumping, “YES!”

“Wonder what that was all about?” I turned to ask Chris.

“Oh you don’t know, do you?” she reveled in my ignorance.

“Know what?” I asked, confused.

“You haven’t signed up for the support group newsletters, have you?”

“Ugh, no. I didn’t know anything about that.”

Chris laughed at my obliviousness. Like, literally laughed in my face.

“Tonight’s lecture is, Let’s Talk About Sex…with ALS.”

I immediately flared red with embarrassment.

“No wonder he wouldn’t tell me what the topic was. That little shit!”

I immediately turned to see Lee, giving me a smirk as to signal he knew I knew what the topic was tonight. Bug eyed, I shook my head. Shrugging his shoulders, he mouthed, “Sorry, not sorry.”

“I think Hot-For-Teacher’s got a little thing for a little dove,” Chris cackled. “Tap that shit now girl!

My problem, I knew a lot about Lee now – almost too much. How was I supposed to cross that line without things getting too personal?
Hell
. They already were.
Fuck my life!

“Alright gang, let’s get started. Some of us have better things we need to do besides being here. So, with that said, here we go.”

Cueing up the slideshow from his laptap,
Let’s Talk About Sex
by Salt-N-Pepa, boomed in the background. I couldn’t help but giggle as Lee did a little dance, being his own hype man. I’m not going to lie, it was hot and yet hilarious all in the same breath. I had to cover my mouth from laughing out loud.

“Let’s get real everyone. Sex is a hot topic when it comes to ALS. You know what I’m talking about, Kenny. Am I right?”

“Preach, Lee,” Kenny raised his hands in the air like he was praising Jesus.

“Believe it or not, your sex life does not end with three little words. Relationships and sexual satisfaction is paramount to maintaining a healthy mind and body. Fun fact: Sexual function is not affected directly from ALS. What does that mean, you can still have promising relationships with those you care about.”

Oh he was good. He was really good. I’ll bite.

“I know ALS can bring a lot of emotions to the table when it comes to sex. Just know that your partner is there to support you in anyway necessary. Some of the common reasons people refrain from sex are pain, frustration, and embarrassment. Tonight we’re going to go over a few methods and techniques to help alleviate those worries and fears.”

“Are you asking for volunteers?” an elderly woman in the front row speaks up.

“I like your thinking, Barbara, but no. You might wanna talk to Kenny after the meeting though,” he chuckled. Barbara gave Kenny a cheeky smile as she gave him a wink.

“According to the World Health Organization,
Sexual health is the integration of the somatic, emotional, intellectual, and social aspects of sexual being, in ways that are positively enriching and that enhance personality, communication and love.
SO, it’s not just bumping and grinding folks. It’s deeper than that.”

Lee stared straight at me when he talked. It was as if he wanted me to sit and listen to him preach to me, a place I couldn’t escape from.
Sneaky bastard
.

“Who can tell me what some of the benefits are of sex?”

“Orgasms,” Kenny shouted.

“A sense normalcy,” someone in the group said.

“Reduces stress,” another stated

“A want to be desired,” Chris offered.

“A sense of control of something in our lives,” I chirped.

“These are all great answers, but don’t forget increased relationship satisfaction and stability. We must remember that sex is not just physical, but psychological too. It’s not just skin-to-skin, but mind-to-mind. The key is not only for healthy sex, but also a relationship built on communication. Your partner may be going through several changes whether it’s physically or even mentally. Just as you have anxiety, loss of self-esteem, depression, grievances, so may your partner. They are also learning to adjust so give them some slack here and there.”

“Sophia Loren once said,
Sex is more than an act of pleasure, sex is the ability to be able to feel so close to a person, so connected, so comfortable that it’s almost breathtaking to the point you feel you can’t take it. And at this moment you’re a part of them.
Man, that’s deep.”

“Listen folks, sex is just a perk. Can we all agree? So, what other ways can we be intimate with our loved ones without actual intercourse? Fun fact: ALS affects the muscles, not the sensory nerves.”

“Hold hands,” Barbara barked.

“Massages.”

“Taking baths together.”

“Toys,” Chris said pompously as she gave me a wink.

“Digital intercourse,” Kenny said proudly.

“Yes, Kenny. That’s one.”

“Kissing,” I interjected.

“Excellent, Ms. Dove. Kissing is an excellent way to show your affection. Any way to expand your senses is perfect. Expand your sexual range to include things like oral sex, fantasies, or even sensory stimulation with sight, sounds and even smells. There is so much you can do, guys.

“What if I’m wheelchair bound?” Chris speaks up.

“Listen, a wheelchair isn’t going to be your excuse Chris. I know you can remove those armrests. Let your partner straddle your lap or even laying on the bed side-by-side. There are no excuses here people. Period.”

The command Lee had over the room was intoxicating. Our eyes were locked on one another for the entire lecture as he went further into detail about how the mechanics of it all works, and techniques to use. I was incredibly aroused, and a bit proud of Lee. I wasn’t giving him the benefit of the doubt when it came to having a true grasp of what it may feel like to be someone with ALS. He got it and more.

“Okay guys, that’s going to do it for tonight, but if you have any questions, comments or concerns, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Unless they are nude pictures, Barbara,” he chuckled.

I stood to grab my bag, giving Chris a kiss on the cheek.

“Till next time!”

“Like I said girl…tap that,” she giggled as Lee came up behind me.

I could tell he was partially self-conscious for not telling me the topic beforehand, but I wasn’t at all mad. I actually found it to be very informative.

“I bet you wished we were at an AA meeting instead right now, don’t you?”

“You have no idea, Dove. Guess you should have signed up for the newsletter, huh?”

“Looks that way. Although I kind of liked the surprise,” I giggled.

“So you ready to get something to eat,” Lee causally said in my ear. His mouth was so close to my ear I could feel his hot breath licking my skin.

Forcing myself to speak, “Ya, yeah. Sounds good.”

“I thought we could hit up the Stop and Shop just down the street and pick up some reinforcements. How do you feel about Beanies and Weinies?” he chuckled.

“I’ll eat just about anything right now, except those stale ass cookies. I’m starving.”

“So glad you said that, cause I’m feeling a little adventurous tonight,” he eyed me with suspicion.

What in the world was he up to?

“And by the way, this is for you,” he passed me a paper crane. Scripted on the wings was, “You are hypnotizing.”

“What, do you keep these stockpiled in case of a crane emergency?” I joked.

“Something like that. Now come on, Dove.”