Pariah (The New Covenant Series) (23 page)

We laughed and stretched, letting our horse gather his strength.

It was midmorning when we found the woodland trail that led to Jacob and Ruth’s home. I could see the roof of their home in the distance, smoke rising from their fireplace. Salt hung in the air as we drew nearer. I’d grown to love that smell of brine and ocean. If magma was the earth’s lifeblood, the ocean was its soul. I begged its calm to envelop me as we approached the house—the house that held my loved ones. I envisioned Rachel with tears flowing down her soft cheeks. She would never forgive me for her brother’s death. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the waves I could now hear lapping the shoreline.

Matthias guided the horse t
o a tree just beside the house, jumped down, then grabbed my waist and helped me down as well. I was still sopping wet, although the rain had ended somewhere in the last mile. He tethered the horse to a tree, and then disappeared into the house. I heard pans clanging inside the window next to me. Ruth was rummaging around the kitchen. Matthias moved toward Jacob, and the two embraced as two old friends would and slapped each other’s shoulders, laughing.

Ruth looked out the window a
t me, and I turned my head. The next thing I knew, she was outside, running toward me. Tackling me in a huge and surprising embrace, she squeezed me tight and told me how happy she was that I was safe and had made it back. She dragged me inside. My sopping wet clothes hung ever closer to the ground. “This won’t do, honey. Come on in. You need dry clothes and a seat in front of the fireplace.” With that, she grabbed my elbow and jerked me back into her bedroom. She found a long-sleeved royal-blue gown for me. It was dry and warm, and for that, I was thankful.

I peeled off the wet cloak, dress, and undergarments. She
threw some of her old ones at me and turned to grant me some privacy as I dressed. I dodged a towel she’d thrown at me and wrapped my hair. “Blanket. Fireplace. Now,” she barked, pointing toward the fire. She went to work in the kitchen, and before I knew it, she thrust a bowl of chicken broth in front of me, smiling sweetly. Her bump was a little more pronounced, and she tucked dark wisps behind her ears.

“Thank you, Ruth. You’re al
ways so kind to me.” She smiled and went back to work in the kitchen. I hadn’t seen anyone but Ruth. Jacob and Matthias and the guys were outside. Looking around, I wondered where everyone else was.

“They’re visiting Rafe, At
hena, and Aniya for a bit. They should be back in a few hours,” she said as if reading my mind.

“Oh. Okay. Um, how are they? I mean. Rachel, is she...”

Ruth pursed her lips and tried to smile. “She is doing fair, considering.”

Tears streamed down my fa
ce. “She hates me, doesn’t she? I’m so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen.” My body shook with sobs. She came over and hugged my shoulders and shushed me.

“She isn’t angry with you at all.
She’s angry with Altair. As she should be. You are not responsible for the actions of a mad man.”

I cried until my tears would no
longer flow, and I curled up in front of the fireplace wrapped in the warm blanket and fell asleep.

I awoke to the sound of several v
oices around me and blinked the bleariness from my eyes. No doubt they were red and swollen. I’d cried more in the past two days than I ever had in my life. Jacob stood behind Ruth at the kitchen table and rubbed her belly, her hands atop his. Matthias and Faric were standing near the door, talking, looking out toward the ocean trail. Aniya sat by herself in the windowsill to my left, and Athena sat beside Riven on the small sofa behind me. She might as well have been sitting on his lap. His arm lay around her shoulders. Her head lay on his shoulder, her arm slung across his stomach tracing circles onto his abdomen. She wore a smirk on her face while his face was stern and devoid of emotion. Lillian and Annette sat on a small bench near Aniya’s window.

When Lil’s eyes met mine, she r
an over. “I thought you’d never wake up.” She grabbed me and hugged me, and I dropped the blanket to the floor and clung to my best friend for dear life.

Annette came over and slowly ea
sed herself down beside us. She hugged us both. Tears flooded my body again. But this time, I wasn’t alone. Lil and Annette were crying with me. Then Rachel approached from one of the back rooms. Her arms replaced Lil’s. We wept together. “Rachel,” I squeaked, “I am so sorry. I never meant...for Wes to...”

“Shhhhh. Solara. It’s not your fa
ult. It was never your fault. I love you, Lara. I’m so glad you are okay. You got away. I’m so glad you got away.” She sobbed. She hugged me tighter, and I melted into her forgiveness.

Aniya wiped tears from her fa
ce, and Athena looked toward us with annoyance and boredom on her perfectly curved brow. Riven was still stoic, and Matthias and Faric looked sympathetically toward the group of mourning women in the floor in front of them. We needed this moment. We needed to grieve. I needed forgiveness from them all. I never meant for them to be imprisoned or for Wesley to die. I would never have left the kingdom had I known what would happen. I would have stayed and figured out a way to lure Altair away from my family. I told them all as much, and they reiterated that Altair was the only one to blame. In my heart, I knew that wasn’t true but was comforted that they didn’t hate me for what had happened to them and to Wes.

Twilight came quickly. Everyon
e ate while I slept in front of the fire, so I grabbed some leftovers and a blanket and asked Ruth if she minded if I headed down to the beach alone. She shooed me out the door and told me to stay as long as I needed. My bare feet were pricked by sand briars along the path from the house to the shore. I kept moving, numbly toward the waves like a siren’s song beckoning me to come closer. Closer. Closer.

The blanket’s warmth surround
ed me as I walked into the surf, holding my hem up and away from the lapping waves. Salty foam flowed over my feet and receded toward its home again. Silhouettes of gulls moved black against the deep purple sky. Clouds enshrouded the moon every now and then. I just stood, staring at the ocean, taking in its beauty.

I didn’t know anyone was b
ehind me until he spoke, “Lara, are you okay?” he said quietly, standing behind me. I didn’t turn around to look at him.

“Not really, Riven.”

“I’m sorry about Wesley. Faric and the others told me what happened,” he said.

“Thank you.”

“Lara,” he paused. “I—”

Athena came running up
behind us. I turned toward her glowering face. “Riven, what are you doing? Come on.” She grabbed his hand and jerked him away from me.

I just rolled my eyes at her.
Really. Like I asked him to come out here or something.
He began to pull away from her, but I stopped him. “Riven, go. I need to be alone.” He hesitated but turned away and followed her back toward the house, pausing for a moment to glance back at me with the aqua pools with which I’d been so easily deceived.

The next morning, I woke up to Lil shaking my shoulders. “Get up,
Lars!” she yelled. “The sun is actually shining, and it is a beautiful day, and
we
are going to enjoy the beach. So get your butt out of bed and put this on. Hurry up!” I untangled the midnight-blue bikini strings from my head and blew out a huge breath. She was right. It was sunny, hot, and humid. It was so moist that I immediately began to sweat, and my hair clung to my neck until I braided over my shoulder and secured it with a ribbon. Thankfully, we were the first on the beach. Lil’s petite frame was so tiny amongst the rolling swells. She waved excitedly and motioned for me to join her.

“Lars, I know you’re a mess ri
ght now. But I want you to know that no one thinks that anything Altair did was your fault.” She grabbed my hands, and we jumped with a large swell to keep from getting swallowed by the salty water.

“I know you
think
that, Lil. But how would you feel if you were in my place. Because you chose to leave, your friends were arrested and put in a dungeon, and former teacher and friend, your new husband was murdered in front of you? Because of you?”

She slightly winced. “I know.
I’d probably feel the same way that you do, but just know that
we
don’t see it that way. I don’t see it that way. We all love you. I love you, Lars. I don’t want to lose you. And I don’t care if you are the chosen. I’m not even sure what that means at this point, but I don’t care. You will always be Lars to me, and I’ll always be here for you.” I nodded, trying to swallow the lump in my throat and squeezed her hands.

To break the tension, in typical
Lil fashion, she smiled sweetly and then squealed and splashed me in the face. I splashed her back just before she dunked her head underwater. We splashed and played, just two friends at the beach together for the first time. For a moment, we forgot about our nonexistent childhood, of the introduction, reveal, and marriages that no longer existed; we forgot about the chosen and the implications of that role, of the future, and of the lingering questions that it brought with it. We just had fun, laughed, smiled, and enjoyed the splendor of the magical water for one sweet much-needed moment.

The others joined us around
noon and brought our lunch. Lil and I had a picnic on squished-together beach towels. Annette emerged from the path, wearing a modest black swimsuit, which was more like a short dress. Ruth followed her, sporting her bump-covering suit. Jacob, Matthias, and Faric ran around them and past us toward the water, kicking up sand from which we shielded our picnic. Awhile later, Riven showed up with Athena attached to his hip and Aniya following close behind the happy couple. Aniya angered me, jumping to do anything her sister asked. Aniya bring me this. Aniya go do that. It was so annoying. I just wanted to scream at Athena and tell her to get off her lazy butt and get it herself!

Lil grabbed Aniya away fro
m them and led her over to hang out with us. We were the cooler choice anyway. Or at least we thought so. She wore a pretty purple swimsuit that covered her stomach. Her sister—and I had no idea it was even possible—had managed to string on the tiniest swatches of fabric imaginable that barely covered her most intimate parts, leaving little to anyone’s imagination. She rubbed some sort of lotion on Riven, and he looked coolly over at us. He didn’t appear to enjoy her. Not her company and not her touch. It was so strange. I could imagine that any other guy would be fawning all over Athena—her constant caresses, attention, not to mention her beauty and lack of appropriate clothing. But he just seemed so empty in her presence. It was strange.

Aniya went to grab a drink, and Lil pulled me toward the
water, yelling back at Aniya to come out with us when she got back. I followed her, and she leaned in and said, “Riven has totally been staring at you like a crazy person since we’ve been here. It’s weird.”

“I don’t think he’s staring at
me, so much as avoiding looking at Athena.”

She laughed and whispered, “Wel
l, it’s weird. He’s totally not into her. He looks miserable, like he’s in pain or something. But I swear, Lars, he
is
staring at you. Y-o-u. It’s weird,” she said, giving me one of those “trust me I know what I’m seeing” looks.

Before I could respond, I was g
rabbed, spun around, and lifted onto a broad set of shoulders and thrown into an incoming swell by a very “soon to be dead” Rafe, who was now laughing hysterically as I wiped the salt from my eyes and nose and coughed like I had disease of the lungs. “That was so not funny!” I sputtered, lunging at him and tackling him into the surf. He came up coughing, and
that
was hilarious. Everyone else started dunking and splashing, laughing and generally having a great time.

A bonfire was on tap for t
he evening. The guys had caught several fish in the evening surf in nets that Jacob had woven himself. He was a big red strutting proud peacock because his nets and fishing skills helped provide a meal for his friend and his beautifully, glowing pregnant wife. The roasted fish was fall apart, moist, and delicious. Our drink was the milk of coconut, our fruits were apples and succulent strawberries and blackberries that Aniya grew in her own garden. Jacob, Ruth, and Annette were the first to retire. I couldn’t help but notice how quiet Annette had been today. I vowed to make time to speak with her tomorrow privately. Though

Matthias promised that her husband, John hadn’t been killed by
Altair and had in fact escaped after stumbling upon one of the other council members, I knew that his absence left room for worry in her heart. Athena soon whined until Riven reluctantly left to walk her back home. Aniya and Rafe left soon thereafter.

Lil and I sat with Faric and
Matthias in front of the warmth of the fire. It was welcoming and soothing and dangerous and mystical. We all seemed pinker or darker from our afternoon in the sun, illuminated by the firelight in a most delicious way. Matthias stretched and stood up, his ebony skin glistening in the fire and moonlight. Lil cleared her throat and said she’d join him, and they walked off into the darkness toward the house.

“So,” Faric started, “I hear you
have a strange and disturbing, albeit helpful power, Solara.”