Part of Me (Jessa & Paxton #1) (17 page)

“
Motherfucker,” he groans, his hand coming to the back of my head as he pushes me deeper into him. I let him, until his tip hits the back of my throat. I reach my hand back and pull his from the back of my head.

I ease my way off of Paxton, looking at his pained face I whisper, “Basics
, Pax. I will suck you off thoroughly, but not tonight,” I tell him, returning a hand to his shaft and one under his testicles where I rub him. When they start to tighten up I increase my pressure and my friction, paying attention to every pulse his vein makes.

“Fuck, beso,” he tells me and I know he’s close.

“I want to see you come, Pax.  I want you to come on me,” I whisper, my hand aiming his tip toward my stomach which is hovering over him.

“Jesus, Jessa,” he mutters
before I feel his release under my breasts.

I smile to myself as I look at Paxton’s content face. I slow my hand and let go of him. He opens his eyes and stares at me. “That was good, beso,” he smirks at me, bringing his hands to my stomach, “but you’re all dirty.”

I run my finger over my stomach then pop it into my mouth, sucking on it. “There’s nothing dirty about it, Pax. You’re sweet and warm and you taste fucking good.”

He shakes his head and laughs at me. “What the hell am I going to do with you?”

“That’s a good question,” I tell him.

I don’t know what time it is, I don’t know if it’s today or tomorrow, all I know is it’s dark and I’m fucking happy. Jessa is in my arms, her nails are making lazy paths up and down my torso, which feels amazing. That girl does all kinds of amazing things with those little hands. Her hands are the main reason I’ve managed to stay out of her. And she’s not begging for it. A basic hand job from that girl is better than the sex I’m used to getting. Watching her come is more gratifying than anything I’ve felt. And the way she talks to me, the things she tells me, the shit that ends up coming out of my mouth… it’s something I’m not used to, but it turns me on. I knew, from the second her mouth was in mine the very first time I kissed her, that things between us would be something I had never experienced, but hell, I had no clue. Already, she’s making me feel things I’ve never felt.

Her
soft touch and her warm body and the fact that we’ve been up for a really long time is starting to make me feel like I have to accept the fact that this night cannot go on forever and I will eventually need to sleep. I close my eyes, but then I hear a muffled laugh escape her mouth.

“What’s so
funny, beso?” I whisper.

“This. This is funny.”

“It is, huh?” I ask, feeling my mouth form into a lazy smile. I can’t wait to hear what she’s going to say. And I’m not being a smartass. I really want to know. In between our make out sessions, Jess and I have been lounging in bed, talking about random stupid shit like we used to always do in her bedroom in River Bluff. I tried so hard to forget about all of that when I went to Cali, and it might have been working, but now I remember it. And I miss it. And I want to hear what she has to say.

“
Yeah, it is. It just seems a little surreal. I mean, I’m naked, in bed with you, thinking about you in the most x-rated of ways, totally allowed to touch you and kiss you however I want to. It’s weird.”

“It doesn’t seem that weird to me,” I tell her.

“Really? I mean, besides the fact that I spent this morning cleaning up after the night you had with Saddie…”

“Jessa, please. You gotta stop saying that
chick’s name.”

“What?” she asks, stuttering a laugh. “She doesn’t deserve to have a name?”

“Jesus, just please – shut the hell up.”

“Fine,” she says through quiet laughter. “It’s just weird to think that the guy who undid me multiple times and in ways that I have never felt, that I never knew existed, is my friend Paxton.”

I can’t help but shake my head. “Let me get this straight, kid, because it’s been messing up my head ever since I left you. All that time we were together in River Bluff the thought of the two of us hooking up never crossed your mind?”

“God, of course it crossed my mind. Do you remember how we met?”

“Yeah, I do. And I also remember you telling me repeatedly that it was the worst moment of your life.”

“
Well, yeah, that’s true. But only because- and I’m only telling you this because at the moment you are making me deliriously happy- that one stupid, angry kiss made me feel more than anything any guy had ever made me feel. And right after you made me feel that way you pushed me away and told me to ‘fuck off’. Seriously, Pax, it was a pretty shitty moment in my life.”

I hold her closer and kiss the top of her head. “I didn’t know that.”

“Well it’s true. In fact, I spent the rest of that weekend mourning the loss of that feeling because I knew that, not only would I never see you again, but that even if I did run into you somewhere, you had made it damn clear that you didn’t want anything to do with me.”

“You know why it had to be that way, right?” I ask her, feeling shitty for the first time for doing that to her. She’s always acted like that kis
s meant nothing. When we both proclaimed that we weren’t interested in getting anything from each other, I kind of believed her. I mean, I knew that there was a sexual energy between us that never went away, but I believed that she was cool with the friendship that we eventually found ourselves in.

“Yea
h, I do. And eventually I convinced myself that I didn’t want you either. And at some point I totally started to believe it – that you were just my friend. That you were the best friend I had ever had. And I managed to continue to believe that lie right up until this morning. So it’s weird, Pax, knowing what you can do to me, knowing exactly what your body looks like and feels like. Knowing how it feels to have my fingers wrapped around you and knowing that you have been inside of my mouth.”

Her words, obviously
, have me hard as a rock- again, and have my fingers digging into her flesh. She turns herself on top of me and runs her warm, wet insides over me. “I don’t think I ever really thought of you that way – I always wanted more from you than a friendship,” I tell her. “Since the day I met you there hasn’t been a day that I haven’t thought about how it would feel to be buried deep inside of you.”

Jessa lets out a low moan and pushes down harder on me.

I bite my tongue because I can feel myself wanting to lay all kinds of deep, heavy shit on her that I know she can’t handle.

“Why didn’t you do that, Pax?
” she breaths. “Why didn’t you ever try to have me?”

“You know why. I wanted to leave that town and pretend that year never happened.”

“And…” she breathes, pushing down harder on me, making it difficult to keep my thoughts in check and to form words.

“And I knew that all you’d ever known were farm boys and that the shit I was gonna show you would have you begging me to stick around. I didn’
t want to break your heart,” I tell her factiously.

“You’re lucky I’m about to get off, Pax,
because that evasive shit is getting old,” she tells me between her quiet moans.

“Shut up, Jess,” I manage to mutter, pul
ling her down harder on me.

Until today I had
never gotten off this way, but she’s already proven to me that it is possible. I swear to God, she was meant to do this – with me. Her body, no matter how she has it laid on me, or what part of it she has on me, is tailor fit for me.

She
pushes down longer and harder and her insides form perfectly to me. It feels better than when I’m actually inside a girl. There is no condom separating us and I can feel exactly how wet Jessa is. And I can imagine exactly what it would feel like to be in her. I’m about to lose it, so I take a hand off her hip to pull her nipple into my fingers.

I can feel her, hear her, starting to lose control, so I let go of her nipple to grab onto her hips with both hands, helping her through her last few thrusts and feeling her let go, letting myself go, too.

She lets out a long exhale and then she goes limp on top of me. I stop her before she lays on me to grab the much used towel on the bedside table to wipe myself off. I lay her down gently on my chest where she nuzzles her face into my neck. Her legs are pulled up tightly around my hips and her hands are flopped lazily over my shoulders. I grab the comforter and pull it over our bodies before burying my fingers in her hair and closing my eyes. Shit, I’ve never felt as perfect as I do right now with her tired body conformed perfectly to mine.

“Pax,” she whispers.

“Yeah, beso?”

“This has been the best night of my life. Thank you.”

“I agree,” I tell her, but her deep breaths and way her body has gone completely limp tell me that she’s already asleep.

“I love you,” I whisper before letting the sleep drag me under.

#

As Jessa and Vi make their way around the kitchen, throwing together dinner for the three of us plus Jimmy who is on a bar stool at the counter next to me, I can’t stop staring at my girl. We just rolled out of bed about an hour ago when Vi told us we had to come out and eat.
Jessa peeks up from the salad she’s throwing together to give me a sly grin. I know what she’s thinking because I’m thinking the same thing. I want to get this eating bullshit over so I can get her back to bed.

“What ti
me are we going out?” Vi asks no one in particular.

“I’m assuming
you’re talking to your man, ‘cause Jess and I aren’t going anywhere.”

Jessa lets out an amused laugh, but doesn’t comment.

“Oh, come on you assholes. You are not just abandoning me. I’m not losing both of you. You’re coming out with me, aren’t you, Jessa?” Vi whines, giving my girl her big puppy dog eyes.

Jessa turns to her and lays her hands on Vi’s shoulder
s, she’s shaking her head ‘no’ and I can’t help but smirk, but then she says, “Of course I am,” before giving Vi a loud kiss on her mouth.

“No,” I tell them. “Hell, no.” For one, I don’t want to go anywhere and for two, the k
iss Jessa just gave Vi made me jealous – I’m not bringing her out to a bar full of guys. I’m pretty fucking sure she don’t want anyone but me, but I don’t even want eyes on her.

“It’ll be fun,” Jessa tells me.

“Jessa, there is no fucking way.”

“Oh,
shush, Paxton. You have to share her,” Vi tells me.

“I have to share her? No
, actually, I don’t have to share her.”

Jimmy laughs. “Holy shit, Paxton. Calm down. It’s going to be okay. Take your girl out for a couple of hours. When you get her back home, she’ll still be yours.”

“Hello, I’m standing right here,” Jessa mutters, throwing plates full of food in front of Jimmy and me. “I didn’t realize my life was in Paxton’s hands. Is that how this usually works? After you have a girl, you get to tell her how to live her life?” she asks me and I can tell she’s starting to get pissed.

“I haven’t had you,” I
seethe, “but if you stay home with me I might let you have me.”

Jessa lets out a disbelieving laugh. “Oh my god, I am not worthy. You would really do that for me? All I have to do is stay enslaved in that bed and you will bestow upon me the gift of Paxton? Why didn’t you say
so?”

“Okay,
you two. Don’t start fighting. It’s fine- if you want to stay home, stay home,” Vi tells us but I know it’s too late for that. I can see it in Jessa’s pissed off expression.

“I’m going out,” Jessa tells me.

I shake my head at her before giving her my biggest smile. “Awesome.”

We eat in silence. I’m pissed as I stare at Jessa. She’s not looking at me, she’s not looking at anything and I wonder what’s running through her mind. An absent smile breaks out
on her face and I can’t help but smile too. A hint of a laugh escapes her mouth and I wonder which of the many fun things we did together she’s thinking about. “What’s running through your head, kid?” I whisper.

Her lit-up eyes flash to mine and she’s not even trying to keep the smile off her face anymore. “You,” she tells me with a hint of defeat in her voice.

“That’s right,” I tell her. I’m all she should be thinking about.

She rolls her
eyes at me, but keeps her smartass comment to herself.

Jessa wouldn’t get in the shower with me and I’m having a hard time staying in our room waiting for her to finish hers. I should be worn out from Jessa, but excess energy is causing me to pace the bedroom.

The door opens and Jessa stands there, clean and wet and I’m all over her in two seconds flat. I undo her rob
e and pull it off her body, digging my fingers into her warm, wet flesh, my mouth all over hers. She kisses me back with all kinds of greed and hunger for a minute, but then she pulls out of my mouth and pushes at my chest. “No, Pax,” she tells me adamantly.

“
Come on, beso,” I say, rounding her breasts, pulling her nipples into my fingers.

I know the look in her eyes
- is pure lust, but she manages to push me off of her. “Stop it, we can’t do this. I have to make it out that door and if you start playing with me that’s never gonna happen.”

I reach for her again, but she backs away. “Jesus. Fine,” I mutter, falling onto our bed, giving up. I lean against the wall and watch Jessa as she slips on a skimpy pair of panties and a lace bra. “I’m just going to take all that shit off in a couple hours from now. What’s the point of even putting it on?”

“We’re going out with Vi, get over it, because if I have to hang out with asshole Paxton all night, then asshole Paxton will be sleeping on the other side of the room tonight,” she informs me while pulling a very tight, red dress over her head. The fabric covers up everything from her neck to her wrists to her mid-thighs, but every beautiful inch of her body is clear as day.

“You’re not wearing that,” I tell her.

She turns and stares at me for a moment before walking over to the bed and sitting down in front of me. “Listen, Pax, these last twenty four hours have been the best hours of my life and I want to keep doing this with you but I’m not going to be able to if you don’t stop this.”

My body tenses up. I know all about the rules and requirements Jessa
puts in place for the ass-kissing guys she deems worthy of her, but I’m not one of those fucking guys. I sit up from my relaxed position and get in her face. “This is a two way street sweetheart, and if I’m playing your game, you’re going to have to play mine too. If you think I’m gonna let you go out in that dress that is meant to turn guys on, you’re wrong.”