Part-Time Devdaas... (15 page)

“Nishi bhaiya!!” Devika waved and jumped. 

“Debuchooooo!!” He skidded twice before he could bring his sweaty body to a halt.

“I’m so happy to see you kiddo. You’ve gotten so thin.”

“Ya and you look like you’ve put on a tonne.”

“What do I do ya, this mouth doesn’t stop eating,” he whined.

“Aww!” She pinched his cheek and they hugged again.

“Wait I’ll take the bags,” he enthusiastically leaned to pick up her bags lending me a full view of his hairy butt crack.

“Nishi bhaiya, this is Arjun.” Devika said as he picked up the bags.

“Hi, Arjun...” I extended my hand.

“Hi, hi Arjun...” He said putting the bags down. “Oh he is ‘the guy’?” Devika just nodded. “Oh man, ‘to be jijaji’ I am so happy.” He said and engulfed me in a bear hug, his sweat now wetting my clothes too. “I’m so happy man, I”m so happy,” he said to himself nodding his head and yet again leaned for the bags, What luck I was in to have gotten to see a three inch hairy butt crack of my ‘to be brother-in-law’ twice in a day.

“Hey Nishi bhaiya, I’ll take it,” I said trying to take my bag from him.

“No!”
t
he look he gave me after the no scared me significantly, so I let him be.

Devika’s ancestors were high ranking Sardars in the palace of the Maharaja of Gwalior and that explained her family’s ownership over this palatial property right in the centre of the city with sprawling well-manicured lawns, perfectly cobbled roads, and grand lady statued fountains. The area was so huge that after we crossed the elephantine arch gates, it took nearly thirty seconds for us to reach the royal porch. I had heard stories about the house from Devika, but had pictured it more like a bungalow, but this place was behemothic.

“Must have twenty rooms at least?” I asked Devika pulling the luggage out of the car.

“Twenty-two,” Nishi bhaiya said as he snatched the bags away from my hand. “But every single one of them is buzzing with people right now, so you’ll be sleeping with me. Debucho, we’ve put you in Tittu’s room unless you want to share your room with Rakhi bua.”

“No, I’ll manage with Tittu.” Both of them giggled.

“I still think I should have stayed in a hotel,” I whispered to Devika.

“No!!” came instantly followed by the scary look. I surrendered and obediently followed my ‘to be brother-in-law’ to his room. Walking down the corridors propped with framed swords, daggers and the portraits of heavily-moustached fierce looking warrior ancestors of Devika, the thought of what would happen to me if these people found out what Devika and I were up to made my stomach cramp.

“Haven’t you seen those swords? Stay away from me,” I said and brisk walked away from Devika as she came close to kiss me. I caught her flying kiss before entering my room, though.

The tinkling sound of ghungroos skittering all round me woke me up. But since my eyes were still glutted with the sleep fairy’s magic sleep potion, I could only see five or six multi-coloured lehenga-clad female figures hopping all around the room.

“Good morning!” one of the girls said waving her hand to me while rest of them giggled. I waved back and buried my head in the pillow. By the time I woke up, the warrior family had almost completely painted the groom yellow with haldi
.
Hundreds of ladies surrounded him while the lucky few who made it across the crowd smothered his flabby body with the turmeric paste. I stayed in the room for most part of the day, trying to avoid a rendezvous with Devika’s father. And since I was put up in the groom’s room, it was always crowded with aunties who didn’t want to miss the chance to bathe their dear nephew, or over-enthusiastic cousins who accompanied an extremely effeminate tailor for the final fittings of the groom’s wedding costume or the totally psyched out groom himself who, every thirty minutes, gulped a mouthful of rum to keep the pressure off. So I kind of didn’t miss much of the action. By the time it was evening, Nishi bhaiya was three bottles of rum drunk and was sleeping in the bathroom hugging the pot making noises like the possessed Emily Rose. The sangeet party was an hour away and the bride was on her way. Devika assigned me the task of getting Nishi bhaiya ready. So with the help of a few other guys, I pinned the yellow stained drunk body of the groom under the cold shower. An hour of tussling with clothes, eleven lemons, eight redbulls and five puke fountains later, Nishi bhaiya was ready for his sangeet party just in time before the bride arrived. The joint mission to sober up the groom introduced me to Devika’s cousins, who like Nishi bhaiya shared the same excitement to meet their ‘to be jijaji’.

The bride’s entourage consisted of another hundred expensively dressed people. From the greetings and touching-of-the-feet that took place, I could easily tell that it was the girl’s father. He looked like one of the men from the framed photographs in the corridors so I assumed he too belonged to some warrior family. But it was difficult to spot the bride in the crowd since every girl was decked up as if it was her sangeet. Then in the crowd of unknown faces, my eyes fixed themselves on the face they knew forever – Devika. I imagined her walking down the stairs in a classic Madhuri Dixit from
Hum Aapke Hai Kaun
style. The only difference was the golden and red lehenga. Her eyes were fixed on me and just when I was about to go on my lust trip, Nishi bhaiya squeezed the living hell out of my hand.

“There she is,” he said.

“She, who?” I asked, words barely making out of my mouth. 

“Nishi-ta.” He said, while his body went cold.

“Nishi!”

A man in the crowd yelled in a voice ten times rugged than Nishi bhaiya’s. He forgot he had my hand and pulled me with him to meet her. The bride as compared to Nishi bhaiya was quite a babe. I somehow managed to loosen Nishi bhaiya’s grip on my hand before he could reach the storm’s eye and found my way out of the crowd to the bar counter.

“Do you not like my face?” I asked as Devika slipped her fingers between mine. “Just look at them; they’ll batter me to death if they find out.”

“You deserve it, bloody Dracula!” She further clung to me by my arm as the lights dimmed for the show to start.

The programme started with the speeches by the heavily moustached jubilant fathers of the bride and the groom telling the stories of their great grandfathers who stood by each other’s side in the battlefield some hundred years ago and how proud they felt that their kids chose each other to spend the rest of their lives with. They then proudly announced the performance by a certain Meera bai who was a descendant of a royal courtesan. I let Devika navigate my body through the narrow steep staircase of the house to her room. I wasn’t quite comfortable with the idea of making out in the house. Questions like what if all those fierce looking men downstairs barged through the door? What if there were spirits of Devika’s ancestors watching us? The thought of flying daggers and swords spooked me. But the big daredevil that Devika was, she didn’t bother a tiny bit and zonked my mind out with her antics. Suddenly a familiar rugged voice announced the special performance by the children of the family for their beloved brother.

“Shit, shit, shit I have to go,” Devika said. “But this will be continued,” she ordered and ran out of the room.

I followed her a few minutes later, scanned for any staring eyes and climbed down the stairs. I found an inconspicuous spot besides the bar to drink peacefully and got down to business immediately. The performance by the
children
of the family was a synopsis of Nishi bhaiya’s life and his love story with Nishita. After all the performances were finished, the dance floor was thrown open for the drunken crowd. The groom, the bride, their parents, the cousins – everyone began shaking their leg to the latest item numbers. I was significantly drunk too, so before the courtesan inside me erupted, I decided to leave after I was through with the drink in my hand. No matter how hot a girl looks in the western outfits, it cannot beat the oomph that a traditional lehenga brings out of her. Plus the moves that broke out of Devika, only got me hornier.

“But this will be continued.”
Devika’s words ringing in my mind brought a smile.

“Isn’t she something?” he said. I gulped the last sip, looking at him, and semi-banged the glass on the bar.

“Excuse me?” I asked, alcohol adhered extra sharpness to the tone than I intended.

“Her?” He pointed towards Devika with his nose before taking a sip from his glass.

“I know who you meant by she.
w
ho are you is what I’m trying to understand.”

“Oh I am so sorry. Avinash,” he said extending his hand towards me. I stood there, my hands tucked in my pockets till his next sentence. “I’m the father you are here to meet.”

In a fraction of a second, my face lost its attitude, shoulders slouched, throat dried, legs stiffened, body went cold, and alcohol began to evaporate through my ears. My hands sprung out of the pockets to shake the hand of ‘to be father-in-law’.

“Hh-hi, Uncle, I mean Sir,” I said uncomfortably. I mean if it was Hrida’s father, the obvious reference to him would be sir, but here I was just pretending, so calling him sir felt really weird.

“Uncle is fine.”

He smiled, “What are you drinking?”

“No, no more, Uncle, I’m through.” I chose to refuse, though I could have well used a bottle to relieve myself of the stress. If I was really dating Devika, I probably wouldn’t have fretted much, but pretending was draining me.

“Oh come on, I insist, please.” He turned to the bartender, waiting for me to name my drink.

“Whiskey... On the rocks...” I mumbled the last part. He gestured the bartender with his head.

I couldn’t believe my luck. I hid sober myself in the room all day to avoid coming face to face with him and when the time came, I was drunk, eyeing his daughter and spewing unnecessary attitude on him. But then he nowhere looked a father of a twenty-seven-year-old girl. He barely looked forty with a slim well toned body, clean shaven face, and a bald head. I had pictured him as a bushy moustached guy with hefty paunchy physique like the rest of the warriors around.

“Here.” He handed me the glass and got back to enjoying his daughter’s dance. I kept whirling the whiskey to death, occasionally looking at him. Then my luck chose to strike again. Devika zoomed up to me and without noticing her father, swigged my drink down.

“I so want to eat you right now,” she said grabbing my shirt lustfully and pecked a kiss on my lips. I stared at her father in horror. His face stiffened but he calmly looked on.